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Ubisoft Game - Review Thread

Frolow

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Aug 9, 2012
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After nine months of non-stop marketing, Ubisoft Game is finally here. But does it live up to expectations? Find out in our review.

By now we’ve all heard of Ubisoft Game, and if you haven’t, then you’ve been living under a rock. Ubisoft Game is the latest in a long line of titles from Ubisoft, and with a bigger budget than ever before and no less than 75 of Ubisoft’s 193 global studios working on it, there’s no doubt that this year’s Ubisoft Game is going to be the big one.

You can play Ubisoft Game on basically any platform of your choice, but we’ve been reviewing it on a next-gen console, because that’s the platform it was made for.

Ubisoft Game is the story of Main Character, a gruff or sassy white man who is really good at parkour, killing, and killing while doing parkour. One of the most iconic features of Main Character is the way he dresses — Main Character’s sense of style and flair really comes across in his tailored outfit, which makes him look distinctive and features a number of clear symbols that can be easily used in marketing and merchandising.

The game takes place in a big open world, with lots of people and maybe even animals living in it. That sounds like it should be a paradise, but it’s not — a Bad Thing has happened and Main Character is right in the thick of it. Or maybe he’s the only one who can stop it? The story in Ubisoft Game is a bit uncompelling, but that’s okay, because there’s just so much to see and do.

...

A key mechanic of Ubisoft Game is that control points on the map need to be ‘captured’ to unlock particular areas. Each control point is a challenge and gives you influence over that particular area, and allows you do your parkour or whatever without being attacked by the bad guys. When you’re not capturing control points with your Good Parkour Skills, you don’t have to go and do the main story, although Main Character’s skills don’t unlock until you do which is kind of annoying. There’s lots to see and do. Ubisoft Game is filled with side activities such as This Gambling Game, Beating Up Enemies Until You Are Told To Stop, Looking For Collectibles, and Tailing Somebody Somewhere For Some Reason.

You can also do the thing which works offline with your companion app, which you can download. Once you’ve got the thing, you can use your companion app to do it, on your tablet or smart phone! It’s neat and impressive, but does it add much to the game? We’re not sure.

....

Ubisoft Game comes in about 4,027 different editions depending on where you buy it and what phase of the moon you’re in at the time, so it’s hard to know if any of the mountains of DLC, Unlockable Extras, Side Missions and Add-Ons for Ubisoft Game change anything significantly about the main story. What we can tell you though is that Ubisoft Game has some neat easter eggs that also make references to other Ubisoft Games, which is nice.

We also took Ubisoft Game for a quick spin on PC, and it’s a mixed bag. Sometimes Ubisoft Game is good on PC and sometimes it isn’t, and this Ubisoft Game follows the same pattern. It’s definitely meant for a controller though, unless you’re doing some shooting. That’s much better with a keyboard and mouse. For those of you wondering — yes, Ubisoft Game uses Uplay. Sorry.

All in all, Ubisoft Game is a game that Ubisoft have made. You’ll play it if you like that sort of thing, and in fact it has already sold 250 million copies.
 

kazebyaka

Banned
Jan 4, 2009
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One thing though, Main Character can't kill while doing parkour. Either before or after, but not during. What a shit review, they don't even check their facts, bah!
 

UnluckyKate

Member
Jan 15, 2008
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Far Cry 3 really made me realised this about Ubi games. I didn't mind in AC before that but if WD is just FC3 or AC applied in Chicago, eeeeh maybe not for me
 

hashoildabs

Banned
May 28, 2014
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hahaha this sums up my feelings on the game. I still cant believe the baton is completely contextual and you cant hit anyone with it.
 

DaBuddaDa

Member
Sep 12, 2004
10,804
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1,290
Screw ya'll! Watch Dogs, Far Cry 3 and Black Flag were all amazing!

this is hilarious regardless
 

EmCeeGramr

Member
Jun 25, 2005
38,456
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Didn't live up the ridiculous hype and reveal, but that's okay.

Anyway, time to preorder Ubisoft Game: Mountain Shooter, Ubisoft Game: French People, Ubisoft Game: The Same As French People But From The B-Team, Ubisoft Game: City Shooter, Ubisoft Game: Cars, Ubisoft Game: Standalone Add-On To Mountain Shooter, and Ubisoft Game: Standalone DLC For French People.

I need an iconic hat and preordering at these select locations is the only way to get it.
 

AHA-Lambda

Member
Jul 19, 2011
23,085
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Amazing, sums up my feelings pretty much perfectly xD

So as long as I put my thoughts across in a snarky but funny way I won't get lambasted for them in the Watch Dogs threads then, right? :p
 

Kade

Member
Jul 23, 2006
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My Mercury In Retrograde Edition didn't even come with the game but these iconic ankle socks are pretty sick.
 

Kanik

Sonic handles my blue balls
Jun 15, 2009
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Ubisoft games are slowly collapsing into one franchise.
 

Spaghetti

Member
Nov 4, 2013
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absolutely pin-point accurate dissection of the homogenised trash ubisoft has been releasing for years.
 

JDSN

Banned
Sep 13, 2006
23,949
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Surprised it didnt get an 8.1, thats the pity score that are usually given to new Ubi franchises that raise the issues of the game without losing a share of the ads.
 

Grayman

Member
Feb 7, 2005
15,125
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If only they somehow fit in the aggressive embargo that has scores drop a full point in lockstep each day after release.
 

parakeet

Banned
Oct 18, 2013
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Assassin creed is awesome due to the historical locations. I have zero interest in wtch dogs
 

ZealousD

Makes world leading predictions like "The sun will rise tomorrow"
Apr 17, 2007
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And yet I still buy, play, and enjoy every Ubisoft game every time.