VideoGameDunkey Reviews Kingdom Hearts 3

Jun 9, 2012
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And to think there are people asking for Nomura to direct a new Final Fantasy game.

KH3 has, without exaggeration, the worst story and especially the worst storytelling style in a story-driven JRPG. It’s so amazingly bad.

It violates the “show, don’t tell” rule to the extreme. Every story scene is just characters standing there explaining gibberish to you in slow, awkwardly delivered sentences with unnatural pauses between each line.

It’s like a self-parody. If you tried to parody all the worst tendencies of JRPGs and shounen anime you would end up with something like KH3
 
Feb 22, 2018
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#6
Every story scene is just characters standing there explaining gibberish to you in slow, awkwardly delivered sentences with unnatural pauses between each line.

It’s like a self-parody. If you tried to parody all the worst tendencies of JRPGs and shounen anime you would end up with something like KH3
Sounds like the way I used to write in 3rd grade. I imagine this is intentional fan service. They know their market and cater to it. No grown adult could create something this bad by accident.
 
Nov 2, 2017
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#8
God, he pretty much hit every point that I've been making about this game in threads since before its release. I should probably be doing reviews.

As someone that was extremely excited about this game, initially; once the trailers and gameplay videos started to drop, I knew it was going to be a hard pass. I've watched/played (mostly watched) about 5-6 hours of the game and that was enough to know it was trash. It's a shittily-paced, cutscene riddled, incomprehensible, uncharismatic, anime-infused mound of straight up high-production garbage with some of the whackest action gameplay I've seen in the genre in quite some time due to its childish difficulty.

I'm actually amazed at the 180 the series has forced me to do towards it. I used to think it was the coolest concept ever until about a year ago (despite not even being that much of a Square fan). To get me to actively hate it requires some talent.

This game is childish not because of its light colors and tone, but because its approach to everything treats the persons experiencing the game like children. From the storytelling to the gameplay.

This is strictly for fans needing some form of nostalgic closure to an era from their younger years (not even going to say childhood, since I actually think a large amount of fans were grown adults when this series dropped in the early 00's - especially in the West). I would say the game's only real saving grace is the respect shown to the Disney characters. That's it.

I won't pay attention to this series ever again unless it's rebooted without involvement from Nomura.

I'm not typically this petty towards popular games; but the positivity surrounding this game really annoys me. I can't imagine it won't have some severe backlash in a few months.
 
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Jun 9, 2012
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#11
I'm not typically this petty towards popular games; but the positivity surrounding this game really annoys me. I can't imagine it won't have some severe backlash in a few months.
I have feeling a lot of kids/parents who are into Pixar/Disney are playing right now and wondering “what the fuck is wrong with these people?”

My family is completely obsessed with Disney. They own our souls. We own collections of Disney short stories that are some of the most boring and pointless stories I’ve ever read, yet my kids will sit there enraptured by them. But when it comes to KH3, even my 4 year old daughter’s eyes glaze over the moment any of these beloved Disney characters start yapping.

I didn’t even think it was possible to make my daughter lose interest in Anna + Elsa or Buzz + Woody. Amazing.

So pretty much it's just like Kingdom Hearts 1, right? (Yes, I thought KH1 was garbage and figured KH3 wouldn't appeal to me either.)
Imagine KH1, except 10x more convoluted. And most of the story scenes are just people standing there talking about the incomprehensible stuff that happened in previous episodes.
 
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I have feeling a lot of kids/parents who are into Pixar/Disney are playing right now and wondering “what the fuck is wrong with these people?”

My family is completely obsessed with Disney. They own our souls. We own collections of Disney short stories that are some of the most boring and pointless stories I’ve ever read, yet my kids will sit there enraptured by them. But when it comes to KH3, even my 4 year old daughter’s eyes glaze over the moment any of these beloved Disney characters start yapping.

I didn’t even think it was possible to make my daughter lose interest in Anna + Elsa or Buzz + Woody. Amazing.
lol.

People should have grown out of Kingdom Hearts at this point. Not Kingdom Hearts as a general concept, mind you. The idea of Kingdom Hearts is still super cool to me.

But Kingdom Hearts as it currently exists shouldn't appeal to anyone but diehard fans. And why anyone would be a fan of... whatever this is... is beyond me.
 
Dec 6, 2013
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#14
  • Fbh

    Fbh

And that's why Nomura should be limited to character designer or combat director but never be given the creative freedom of a game director. But with KH3 getting good reviews and good sales he is only going to keep getting more influence within the company

Get ready because the bad original English translation we got for FFVII is going to seem like a timeless storytelling masterpiece compared to what we are going to get in the remake
 
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#16
  • Fbh

    Fbh

I was thinking about buying this game for a while, never played any of the past games.

But if the story and writing are really that bad than maybe i will skip this game
There's a fun game there if you just ignore the cutscenes and enjoy the fun combat and nice visuals:
Every 15 min it's going to be this though:

So maybe pick up a year or so from now when it's cheap?
 
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Jun 9, 2012
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#18
lol.

People should have grown out of Kingdom Hearts at this point. Not Kingdom Hearts as a general concept, mind you. The idea of Kingdom Hearts is still super cool to me.

But Kingdom Hearts as it currently exists shouldn't appeal to anyone but diehard fans. And why anyone would be a fan of... whatever this is... is beyond me.
Disney stories are timeless because they draw on stories and archetypes that are deeply embedded in human history.

A game where monsters invade all these Disney worlds and alter their timelines, and you have to team up with Disney/FF characters to set things right and make them end the way they’re supposed to, is a REALLY COOL concept that lends itself to lots of fun scenarios.

KH is at its best when it sticks to that. Sadly they had to layer this repulsive self-indulgent Tetsuya Nomura turd on top of it. I can’t think of anything less appealing.
And that's why Nomura should be limited to character designer or combat director but never be given the creative freedom of a game director. But with KH3 getting good reviews and good sales he is only going to keep getting more influence within the company

Get ready because the bad original English translation we got for FFVII is going to seem like a timeless storytelling masterpiece compared to what we are going to get in the remake
I’m afraid FF VIIR is going to be like Advent Children meets Kingdom Hearts. Bad feature film adaptations of D-list young adult novels will seem like freaking Citizen Kane in comparison.
 
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#19
There's a fun game there if you just ignore the cutscenes and enjoy the fun combat and nice visuals:
Every 15 it's going to be this though:

So maybe pick up a year or so from now when it's cheap?
Wow, you convinced me not to buy this game with this video, thanks lol.

I consider a good story just as important as gameplay on RPGs, so this is not for me i guess.
 
Nov 2, 2017
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#22
There's a fun game there if you just ignore the cutscenes and enjoy the fun combat and nice visuals:
Every 15 it's going to be this though:

So maybe pick up a year or so from now when it's cheap?
LMFAO.

It's funny because just before clicking this video I was thinking to myself "What kind of well-adjusted adult human being listens to the garbage emanating from these character's mouths and tries to make sense of them or derive some type of meaningful substance or try and explore their implications?".

I'd like to think that most react like the guy in that video, but you just know that there's people that are just enraptured by that shit.

To be fair to the game, it doesn't sound as bad when you hear it while watching the cutscenes.
 
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#23
For me, I don't think it's as charming as KH1 or as well designed as KH2. But man, I still loved it. Disappointed it's easy, but still it's fun to play, love the feel of combat. Story is typical Kingdom Hearts non-sense and it helps to just embrace it. Although I must admit it felt stiff compared to the older titles. Ending still hit me like a rock.

There are certaintly things I wish they did different, but it's still something I love. A PS2 RPG with HD Graphics. The game is pretty much what I wanted/expected.
 

ArchaeEnkidu

Vincit qui se vincit
Jan 30, 2018
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#24
Disney stories are timeless because they draw on stories and archetypes that are deeply embedded in human history.

A game where monsters invade all these Disney worlds and alter their timelines, and you have to team up with Disney/FF characters to set things right and make them end the way they’re supposed to, is a REALLY COOL concept that lends itself to lots of fun scenarios.

KH is at its best when it sticks to that. Sadly they had to layer this repulsive self-indulgent Tetsuya Nomura turd on top of it. I can’t think of anything less appealing.

I’m afraid FF VIIR is going to be like Advent Children meets Kingdom Hearts. Bad feature film adaptations of D-list young adult novels will seem like freaking Citizen Kane in comparison.
Mate, you literally have a hate boner for Kingdom Hearts. You have said as much in the past. Just move on. Gettin' sad at this point.
 
Nov 20, 2018
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#27
Mate, you literally have a hate boner for Kingdom Hearts. You have said as much in the past. Just move on. Gettin' sad at this point.
Nah, he is 100% right tho. I played every single KH title and I cannot deny that the series is mostly garbage, the only thing that kept me going was the braindead gameplay. I'm a sucker for flashy button-mashing, also the music kept me patient, so I got what I wanted, but the series as a whole is extremely weak in most areas - level design, repetition, absolutely awful characters (even Disney ones, like Donald), story/plot, writing etc.). KH3 is a 5/10 game, it would be less if it wasnt for the graphics and celeb voices.
 
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#29
Are the adults in this thread forgetting kingdom hearts targets teens?

Because if you ever came to.Kingdom Hearts for anything aimed at above 13 and expected some super dark dark Knight level story telling...that's on you.
Do you expect teens to watch every single Disney/Pixar movie from like 1997 to understand the plot of KH3? The game doesnt explain what was happening in the movies.
 
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#31
I loved freaking KH1 and 2, especially because of the german VO both versions provided (i still play the OG versions from time to time through PCSX2) but man the Story of KH3 was just bad. I sometimes wondered why there was even a need for the Disney worlds especially when most stuff happens in the last 2-3 hours lol
 
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#36
I was almost convinced that Dunkey put a robot filter on Riku but then I remembered that's actually how he delivered his lines. God. This game was fun for a wow it's finally here feeling, but then I thought about it for more than a second and was ashamed anything past KH2 came out.

I mean, that game was dumb too but at least there wasn't prequels and prophecies and time travel and world lines and the 14th member of a 13-member group. God.
 
Likes: Hobbesian
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#37
KH3 was my first KH game. As an outsider without fan goggles on, it was a shitshow of a game. Nonsensical story, dumb RPG cliche chars mixed with Disney in a way that made no sense. I forced myself through 4 hours and then put it on eBay.
 
Dec 6, 2013
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#38
  • Fbh

    Fbh

Metacritic: 85.
opencritic: 85.
And GTA IV has a 98 and I still think it's a pretty mediocre game
And Bioshock Infinite has a 94 and you enter pretty much any discussion about it and it's not considered to be very good (I like it though)
And Shadow of Mordor has an 84 and it's a pretty bad game with only 1 good idea it doesn't even fully take advantage of
And Assassins Creed III has an 85 and is generally disliked and considered one of the worst entries
And Halo 5 has an 84 and is considered by many to be the worst entry in the franchise and the first with a downright bad campaign
And LA Noire has an 89 and it's boring as fuck
And Fable III has an 80 and it's Fable III
 
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#39
It’s story sure isn’t the best but I do enjoy it more than most AAA these days, but story always an afterthought and it’s mainly about those fun combat it offers, it’s one of the few games that reminds me why I love gaming. Sure Better than Ff15 or those campaigns who always claim they focus on realism and tries to deliver some dark stories. To me, I only care about the story if I can make choices that can impact the game world and ending. Otherwise I can care less and will focus on the fun factor for single player games.
 
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ArchaeEnkidu

Vincit qui se vincit
Jan 30, 2018
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#40
Do you expect teens to watch every single Disney/Pixar movie from like 1997 to understand the plot of KH3? The game doesnt explain what was happening in the movies.
Good thing you do not need to watch every single Disney/Pixar movie to enjoy the game or the story. Hell, I didn't see Fantasia or Hercules until after KH1 and I still enjoyed it.

Metacritic: 85.
opencritic: 85.
Seems right to me. A good to great game with flaws that prevent it from being amazing. Since you didn't like the game, the reviews are wrong or paid for, right?
 
Likes: Danjin44

Danjin44

The nicest person on this forum
Mar 22, 2017
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#41
I'm not typically this petty towards popular games; but the positivity surrounding this game really annoys me. I can't imagine it won't have some severe backlash in a few months.
So.....you get angry people liking the game you personally don't like? Thats kind of fucked up don't you think?
 
Nov 20, 2018
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#43
Good thing you do not need to watch every single Disney/Pixar movie to enjoy the game or the story. Hell, I didn't see Fantasia or Hercules until after KH1 and I still enjoyed it.



Seems right to me. A good to great game with flaws that prevent it from being amazing. Since you didn't like the game, the reviews are wrong or paid for, right?
If youre making 70% of the game full of cameos then yes, knowing the source material is kinda needed, otherwise why should I care about any of the characters or events happening in those worlds? There is no explanation to any of them, just the generic 'OH! Youre new here? No time to explain , lets kill the heartless and save the day'! in every world you visit. Its not that important to know everything about these movies, but it definitely increases the value if you know the sources.
 
Jun 9, 2012
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#44
Are the adults in this thread forgetting kingdom hearts targets teens?

Because if you ever came to.Kingdom Hearts for anything aimed at above 13 and expected some super dark dark Knight level story telling...that's on you.
Are you telling us that this game was intended for people who were born after KH2 released?
I love the implication that stuff targeted towards young people excuses it being stupid. What's funnier is that usually considered to be a defense for something these people supposedly enjoy.
Kingdom Hearts is like a 13 year-old weeaboo’s idea of what “mature” is. Bunch of emos in leather trench coats spouting off 2deep4u dialog filled with Ominous Sounding Proper Nouns.
 
Likes: Antoon
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#45
Kingdom Hearts is like a 13 year-old weeaboo’s idea of what “mature” is. Bunch of emos in leather trench coats spouting off 2deep4u dialog filled with Ominous Sounding Proper Nouns.
It’s Hot Topic: The Video Game. I get that there are people who like this, and that’s certainly fine, but I am in the “dumpster fire” camp. Dunkey’s video here says what I’ve been thinking since I tried to play it.
 
Likes: Antoon

Danjin44

The nicest person on this forum
Mar 22, 2017
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#50
There’s a vast chasm between “angry” and “annoyed”. Without a strawman interpretation of my statement you had no motivation to post and it shows.

*shrug*
I don't understand why you need to get "angry" or "annoyed" at other people liking the game you personally don't like? Again it kind messed up to me.