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[Th3Birdman15.]

^^^ that is exactly the case, that men typically want to fix an issue.

So I’m thinking this thread was created with the purpose of helping or trying to come up with a solution to some issues women are experiencing in the Western world (because these are very distinctly western issues). I could be wrong about that of course, but we don’t ask women what their problems are just to hear them talk.

We’re about that action.

P.S. for a split second, this thread was starting to feel like OldGaf. Let’s....not.

 

[Autoignition]

^^^ that is exactly the case, that men typically want to fix an issue.

So I’m thinking this thread was created with the purpose of helping or trying to come up with a solution to some issues women are experiencing in the Western world (because these are very distinctly western issues). I could be wrong about that of course, but we don’t ask women what their problems are just to hear them talk.

We’re about that action.

P.S. for a split second, this thread was starting to feel like OldGaf. Let’s....not.

Honestly, I'm not sure what the purpose of this thread was, because OP never came back. I wonder if he was expecting to hear something different when he asked for women to talk about their gender-specific issues? But plenty of men in this thread were perfectly happy to listen and try to understand, so I don't think it's fair to paint the men of GAF with such a broad brush as to say that none of them just simply want to learn. Sometimes it's nice to have a little bit of intellectual curiosity and learn a thing instead of going into a situation thinking you already have the answers, you know?

But, uh. Korea is the western world now?

Because I had these problems in Korea. Just saying. They certainly do have their own set of unique problems with regards to gender roles and women, too (and oh my gosh some of the stories I was told by women when I was over there broke my damn heart), but predators exist in every country, and women are the ones most often preyed upon.

 

[Th3Birdman15.]

But, uh. Korea is the western world now?

Is that a real question? Lol Half Korean here...

EDITED BY MR. GRUMPY

 

[Bluntman]

Very lighthearted one but I'd say clothes shopping. Stereotypical reason but clothes shopping is fun and a stress reliever for a lot of girls, because we have way more fashion choices and styles and choices and all that over men. I think some guys get that but it can be hard to appreciate because most guys (def not all) seem to not enjoy it anywhere near as much.

The big thing I don't think men get is how hard shopping for women's clothing can be. Walking into a store is like walking into a random apartment during a zombie breakout looking for supplies. You have no idea what you're going to find, it could be amazing stuff, it could be a big bust. I've been clothes shopping with guys and it can break down into very simple ideas, like "I need a red shirt" or "I need a nice pair of jeans". And you can walk into almost anywhere, and find a red shirt, or a nice pair of jeans.

I wish all men had to dress in women's clothing for a month and go shopping for that clothing to really understand how it works on our side. There is no "red shirt" for the most part, because this top may be cut one way, or that one might have extra decoration on the sleeves, or whatever. Even a basic t-shirt isn't always basic. The nice part is that there's so much diversity and choice but that then means one singular item can be created in hundreds of different ways and colors. Clothes shopping as a girl is less about going out specifically looking for something but instead hoping you find something good, and doing so can take hours sometimes depending on how you luck out. And then when you find something cute, every brand's sizing can be different, and the way clothes fit can vary so widely that it can be soul crushing when something you were sure was going to look good ends up looking terrible on you.

Plus if you've got a girlfriend/wife/whatever that likes to look good, remember that she's doing it in part for your sake!

I actually do feel a bit bad for guys in regards to this situation because I do know that they're often really trying to help. From my experience guys tend to be "doers" so when a problem arises their first thought is that they want to fix it. That's especially the case if a woman in their life is having a problem because obviously most decent guys don't want to see women they care about suffering through a situation they think can or should be fixed.

I think that's how men are and it's coming from a position or actually caring. Of course some guys just want to be right or whatever but I feel a majority of guys are doing it for heartfelt reasons.

But it's just that women aren't wired that way and this is probably something we'll always crash on. Maybe I've just been in stereotypical relationships or known stereotypical guys but while they definitely do have times when they just want to talk, I think usually if they want to discuss a situation with someone it's because they're trying to work out the right course of action. They want to bounce ideas off of the other person and see if their thoughts on how to fix things make sense or if they're on the wrong track.

The thing is I (and I think most girls) will directly ask when we want help or answers. You'll know when we're looking to you for that. A lot of times though we just want to vent and have someone listen and have someone agree with us and commiserate with us. So it's not that we don't appreciate men trying to help but that's not what we want in that moment, and we're not wrong to feel that way. Men and women are just different and that's part of the fun but sometimes it can be like trying to stick two magnets together when they're ends are matching. Maybe men feel like we'll think they're useless if they can't provide an answer to our problems but that's not the case at all. And yeah maybe sometimes listening to us bitch is boring but you know we put up with other things for you too lol.

In the end my believe is that nobody is "wrong" just different but that can frustrate or annoy both people involved. Really though guys just shut up and listen. If you do that we get it out of our systems and move on much quicker while also being happier with you. But I know that when you don't do that and try to tell us what we should be doing it really does come from a sincere place.

I quoted you both because I feel there is a common theme here with the "doer" attitude and problem fixing. It's totally true and I think it's also evident in conversations. When a bunch of girls sit down and talk it feels and sounds like to me that the conversation don't really have a topic, a beginning, an end or any purpose other than to just simply talk. And it's the same sort of thing with the phone. My girlfriend calls me just to chat, or asks "Whats up?". And it infuriates me (but I don't tell her ), because to me the telephone is not for chatting, it's for getting time sensitive information to the other side as fast as possible, or for fixing something, or for getting help.

And then we get to the clothes shopping thing and I feel like we have the same attitude here. There is a problem -> My jeans are old need a new one. Solution -> get in a shop, buy one as fast as possible and be on my way. And tbh I'm glad that men have lesser options in clothing and that our clothes are simple and not dragging attention. And I also love the fact that girls have so many options and the chance to look beautiful in a nice dress. They should be the pretty and beatiful and getting attention (in a positive way) not us stupid hairy beasts.

And for a P.S: I love the fact that girls and boys are totally different, it makes the whole thing beatiful. God / nature was a genius when created this and I won't ever let a farleft notjub dressed as a feminist tell me that gender is a social construct or whatever the fuck they currently bullshiting around.

 

[Dunki]

Yes it's really disgusting since it's showing that they are not worth your time but just a measly shout out of some stupid sexual shit. It demeans women and men that it happens to, and frankly on the same point as physically assaulting someone in my books. You're assaulting them with words, and nearly all the time their in a position of advantage so there's no way for recourse from the men/women in the situation.

Ok what?

I totally agree that catcalling is stupid do not do it it will not work you are an asshole if you do it. But to compare this to a pysical sexual assault is ridiculous and they are not even close of in a postion of advantage. Quite the opposite for 2 main reasons.:
1. Most of these I would agrue happens in a group. So the guy has some certain social pressure based on the group.
2. He does not know how to communicate which makes his social skills meaningless We also know that people aka men with more testosterone have limited social skills they also evolve speech patterns way later than girls or kids with less testosterone. So this kind of "agressivnes could also influence it.

Also in the end they are just words just ignore them. We need to teach children that they should not care about unkwon people saying stupid shit to them. It is not worth any reaction to be honest. And no you do not get killed or physically assaulted by ignoring them.

 

[ndreamer]

My partner is both female and Thai in Australia.
I have seen first hand how cruel people can be, not just guys but girls too.
At a bar one night a guy hit her with a spoon on her nose after refusing to have sex with her. I was inside at the time.

Guys come up to her all the time despite wearing a engagement ring, asking her to go home with them.

She's been trying to make friends while she is here, the guys think she is interested in them if she asks for there number or facebook .

Its disheartening seeing how badly she is treated in Australia , when most of our families immigrated our self's. We should be more welcoming .

 

[Autoignition]

Is that a real question? Lol Half Korean here...

Yes. Please share with the class how a Far East country is somehow the West.

And we’re not going to play the “shut up and listen” game. Resetera is that way >>>>

You just pulled the race card on me (despite the fact that it I've actually lived and worked in your country of heritage and it seems that you have not), and you want to yell at me about Resetera? Sit down.

While I don't know what OP's intentions were for the thread, the title clearly has the word "understand" in it. If you're incapable of listening and understanding, then I'm not sure what you're doing in this thread in the first place. Are you so unable to check that massive ego of yours, accept that you do not have all of the answers all the time, and just listen to other human beings when they speak? Do you so utterly lack the capacity to learn from the experiences of others that you think that your input is necessary every single time anyone says anything? How nice must it be to have all of the answers all the time despite a complete and utter lack of personal experience.

But I'm pretty sure this topic has completely run its course now that we have Bluntman up there saying that there's no purpose when women talk, and D Dunki back in the thread calling us all liars and insisting that we never get physically assaulted for saying no despite multiple women and men telling him that he has no fucking idea what he's talking about.

 

[Dunki]

Yes. Please share with the class how a Far East country is somehow the West.



You just pulled the race card on me (despite the fact that it I've actually lived and worked in your country of heritage and it seems that you have not), and you want to yell at me about Resetera? Sit down.

While I don't know what OP's intentions were for the thread, the title clearly has the word "understand" in it. If you're incapable of listening and understanding, then I'm not sure what you're doing in this thread in the first place. Are you so unable to check that massive ego of yours, accept that you do not have all of the answers all the time, and just listen to other human beings when they speak? Do you so utterly lack the capacity to learn from the experiences of others that you think that your input is necessary every single time anyone says anything? How nice must it be to have all of the answers all the time despite a complete and utter lack of personal experience.

But I'm pretty sure this topic has completely run its course now that we have Bluntman up there saying that there's no purpose when women talk, and D Dunki back in the thread calling us all liars and insisting that we never get physically assaulted for saying no despite multiple women and men telling him that he has no fucking idea what he's talking about.

probalby last post in this thread...

I called you a liar because you lied to people (not in this thread but in situations). How can you even be "offended" by this? That was the only time I called you a liar and I never called you one for your experiences or feelings.

I also said that there is no statistical evidence for your feeling and that it is not a common or nation wide problem when you see 2-3 articles a year. And I never said that women do never get assaulted I said that the chance is pretty small to get physically assaulted while or after rejecting a man on the street, bar etc.

I am sorry but the "shut up and listen without asking" does not work for me. What I want is a honest discussion and debate and that people actually learn about each other be it gender, be it race etc. I always questioning things. I always asking for evidence and I will never just believe anything anyone says. That is not how I was raised and this has nothing to do with you being a women or whatever stupid reason.

 

[Autoignition]

probalby last post in this thread...

I called you a liar because you lied to people (not in this thread but in situations). How can you even be "offended" by this? That was the only time I called you a liar and I never called you one for your experiences or feelings.

I also said that there is no statistical evidence for your feeling and that it is not a common or nation wide problem when you see 2-3 articles a year. And I never said that women do never get assaulted I said that the chance is pretty small to get physically assaulted while or after rejecting a man on the street, bar etc.

I am sorry but the "shut up and listen without asking" does not work for me. What I want is a honest discussion and debate and that people actually learn about each other be it gender, be it race etc. I always questioning things. I always asking for evidence and I will never just believe anything anyone says. That is not how I was raised and this has nothing to do with you being a women or whatever stupid reason.

EDITED BY MR. GRUMPY

 

[Future]

I always asking for evidence and I will never just believe anything anyone says. That is not how I was raised and this has nothing to do with you being a women or whatever stupid reason

Horrible approach to civil discourse right there. Not that you have to fall for everything anyone has to say, but it is important to consider that you just may not know everything. People do experience things that go unreported and may not exist on Wikipedia. And when there are multiple people, from multiple sources, saying the same thing it may be time to consider why it is being said. And the answer isn’t always: “welp they are wrong”

The statistics for sexual assault rates based on chance circumstance is often quoted as being less than assault from someone the victim knows. This is true. And odds that my house gets burglarized may be equally low. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to lock my door, and it doesn’t mean that someone calls the police because of suspicious activity that they should be assumed incorrect because of statistics.

The concept of being in danger or at risk is hard for men to understand because honestly we usually do not feel it. You may have felt it when you were a kid with bigger bullies out there. But women are smaller, lighter, and surrounded by people that can overpower them at any moment no matter their age. It’s a different world, and you should be more akin to listening to gain some insight.

I too have a sister that has told me some fucked up shit. None of it will be searchable on google

 

[Douche McBaggins The 3rd]

Wow this topic went to hell in three pages. Listening never seems to work. Everyone gets that rage up in here. Topic seen its apex and i am sure this topic has no chance of recovery.

 

[Blam]

1. Most of these I would agrue happens in a group. So the guy has some certain social pressure based on the group.

Which is also why it's much harder to come back and tell someone like that to fuck off, or even to stop. Because you'll get the guys/females friends to come back at you as well. I'm saying this from personal experience of it happening.

2. He does not know how to communicate which makes his social skills meaningless We also know that people aka men with more testosterone have limited social skills they also evolve speech patterns way later than girls or kids with less testosterone. So this kind of "agressivnes could also influence it.

Just because they don't know how to communicate does not mean that they should do it regardless.

 

[Douche McBaggins The 3rd]

Which is also why it's much harder to come back and tell someone like that to fuck off, or even to stop. Because you'll get the guys/females friends to come back at you as well. I'm saying this from personal experience of it happening.

Just because they don't know how to communicate does not mean that they should do it regardless.

That actually brings in quite the interesting question.

1. It's always easy to tell someone to fuck off. It's just a test to see how callous someone is. Naturally women are supposedly kinder then men, so it's not in them to be callous. I've seen this happen and there are times where there's a time for getting mad and a time for blowing it. It's kind of a test to see how cool you can play it off. At least that's what happens in these social situations.

2. But what if that person knows how to communicate and does it anyways? There's the societal peer pressure to do something stupid. For those men that are more socially awkward, it's from a place of nervousness, naitevete or just not knowing. For someone that's adeptly skilled at it, it's almost like a test to see how far they can push something to see what can be done that goes just over the edge of socially acceptable while keeping that fine line and not getting called out too much as an asshole. There's play to be done on both sides and women can play the game too, but it is a rather different game that does need to be played.

It's kind of like watching a really fucked up romantic comedy with a twist on a shit filled perspective when you really think about it.

 

[Mr. Grumpy]

This thread is deemed to be of absolutely no value now, irrelevant of the original intent when creating it. Due to that it's being locked. The topic itself was not the issue which here means that this is being done due to what happened inside the actually thread.

Thank you.