it happens all sorts of ways. Picking her up and just throwing her onto the bed is a pretty good start. Making a really good diner for her also a great way. Or you know just straight telling or asking for it.
I find that no change in mood is necessary. When you're with someone who wants you, they are always game. Sometimes when I'm driving with my wife, I'll reach over and tweak her nipple to get a giggle out of her. The other night we were watching TV. Our son was upstairs sleeping. The show we were watching was over and she was about to go upstairs to bed. So I said, "Hold on a sec..." and crawled over to her side of the couch and started kissing her. I stroked her neck a bit, ran my fingers through her hair, then let my hands wander. Before you know it, her clothes are coming off, as are mine. We had some fun in the living room then ran upstairs to have more fun in the bedroom.
This is by no means a routine. It's different every time. There's just no elaborate preparation. Chemistry between two people means you don't have to trick each other into sex with some subtle ploys.
As for after, sometimes we use towels, but usually we clean ourselves up in the bathroom. She tends to go first since the majority of the mess is on her when we're done.
Maybe I wrote too much in the OP so people skimmed a bit. I'm not over thinking anything. I just thought about my past and noticed some "steps" or "tactics" or whatever you want to call them that I usually use and wrote em down.
I meet her Grandmother. We laugh for hours reminiscing about the old country, eating ribbon candy and dancing the Charleston.
I promise things I have no intention of ever doing.
We go out for a late lunch, I packed up the picnic basket the night before.
As the sun sets, we look into each others eyes. I begin to chew the fish sticks with my mouth open.
I tell her that sweater looks awful on her. She begins to lose interest.
I pretend to choke on a mouthful of Cheetos.
After she gives me CPR, I suggest we go to the Holiday Inn. It's right up the street.
I need to stop at the Walgreens on the way to pick up my prescription. And dog food.
She waits in the car.
We finish checking in, but only after she agrees to pay for half the room. It's only fair.
As we climb the stairs to our sensual love grotto, I get that funny feeling, that rush of exhilaration...and shame.
I need to change my pants. And get a refund for the room.
She looks upset about something.
I ask for a ride to IHOP.
With each syrupy bite, I am VERY satisfied.
I'll start to speak more forcefully, personally, and interact more directly. For example, should she ask, "you know what I wanted earlier today?" my response isn't, "what?" My response is (remembering to pause for 1/2 - 1.5 seconds) "tell me what you wanted" with direct eye contact and stroking the bass.
I can see how this looks ridiculous written down. stupid surely. Not like I can prove the effect it has or positive comments I've gotten about the way I talk. but its effect is clearly visible..always works