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Which games have stories written by toddlers?

Ebidramon

Banned
Have you ever played some game, with story so dumb, and insulting to your IQ, that it seemed like company went to kindergarten, or wherever little kids gather, and told those children to write the plot for the game?

Which game was that?
 

M1chl

Currently Gif and Meme Champion
I struggle to name which game isn't. Well Guardiands of the Galaxy was written well, but outside of that. At least from close history, I don't know.
 

SlimeGooGoo

Party Gooper
Not sure about gaming but i'd say your "efforts" of creating threads come pretty close.
Ice Cube Movie GIF
 

Zannegan

Member
Mirror's Edge actually made me laugh out loud when it got to the final "twist." I don't want to spoil it here for those who care, but the main character's shock at an enemy maneuver that was so obvious and inevitable is hilarious.

Fun gameplay. Absolutely braindead story.
 
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Diablo 3 has the dumbest, most predictable kindergarten-tier story I've ever seen in a modern video game. Bad guy shows up, tells you all about what they're planning to do, including how to foil their plans, then act all shocked when you do just that, before telling you all about their next plan. Same shit every single act.
 

Edgelord79

Gold Member
Diablo 3 has the dumbest, most predictable kindergarten-tier story I've ever seen in a modern video game. Bad guy shows up, tells you all about what they're planning to do, including how to foil their plans, then act all shocked when you do just that, before telling you all about their next plan. Same shit every single act.
Ya thats something that's not present in any other game, Marvel or Bond movie. Very unique to Diablo 3.
 
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Jadsey

Member
Yep - all JRPGs have completely garbage writing.

In fact, it’s an insult to toddlers to compare them.
 
Ya that'd something that's not present in any other game, marvel or bond movie. Very unique to Diablo 3.
What's your problem? I didn't say it was objectively the dumbest story ever, just the dumbest I've ever seen in a modern game. If there have been any major releases in the past decade with stories and dialogues as dumb as Diablo 3's then I thankfully haven't played them.
 

negator2vc

Neo Member
Depend on the genre.
For some games (for ex. Doom games or many action/shooter games) a dumb story is just fine.
In fact the opposite can be equally bad.
 

Atrus

Gold Member
Mario:
Save princess. Princess in another castle. Saved Princess.

Streets of Rage:

I’m pretty sure the stories for 1 and 2 are only a couple lines long. When 3 and 4 expanded them, the plots sound like something a toddler would create.

Many entertaining retro games have little to no story to speak of.
 

Edgelord79

Gold Member
What's your problem? I didn't say it was objectively the dumbest story ever, just the dumbest I've ever seen in a modern game. If there have been any major releases in the past decade with stories and dialogues as dumb as Diablo 3's then I thankfully haven't played them.
No problem at all. The reason you gave though was generic and could be applied just as liberally to most games and media.
 

Azurro

Member
Extreme left? The thread is about toddler level stories, not whiny toddlers that can't handle uncomfortable themes and feel the need to whine about it.

I can certainly handle "uncomfortable themes" but I do admit, I'm really bad at handling woke themes and badly executed plot points. ;)

I mean, super buff lady that needs no man on Trenbolone sandwiches? Hanging out with the omg what a victim trans character, best duo in a storyline ever! Not to forget the actual bigot sandwiches. :p
 

amigastar

Member
Grim Fandango
Just kiddin' :p
Many Japanese rpgs have a cheesy dialogue, so my vote goes to japanese games.
 
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No problem at all. The reason you gave though was generic and could be applied just as liberally to most games and media.
Maybe, but so what? OP just asked people to post games with stories that could have been written by a toddler. Diablo 3 definitely qualifies, and the possibility that other games or even movies are just as dumb or even dumber doesn't change that.
 

Knightime_X

Member
Bad corny stories is what makes games great.
Metal Gear Rising's story comes to mind.

Boring stories are usually attached to boring games.
 

Banjo64

Gold Member
99% of stories in video games, even the “citizen Kane of gaming” ones.

The Metal Gear Solid series is one of the best examples for this thread.
Only mainstream ‘omg dis story is so good’ game that I agree is actually class is the original TLOU. Probably the best serious narrative in gaming. Knew when to use the unspoken word.
 
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