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Who are the biggest shitheads co-workers you've ever had?

Mondai

Member
Mine was a doozy , we served together and I am still baffled how he didn't get kicked out sooner, he would literally get in trouble every day, but these are the big incidents, I am not sure how he didnt go to jail for the first one:

- He was caught partying with underage girls , all of them were drunk and he had a gun with him (and he was waving it around)
- He went on leave, lent his car to a friend who then proceeded to do a drive by shooting (his car was taken by the police for a year)
- He went on leave on another occasion and was legally AWOL for 5 days, when he came back , he claimed he missed 5 flights back to our base (Nobody bought that shit excuse, who the fuck misses 5 flights?)

He finally got kicked out when he pissed hot (weed) but he did it on purpose , which was extra dumb because he only had a few months left in his contract, he lost all his rank and left as a fuzzy , and I think he got an Other than Honorable Discharge (which is not good).


The other one was not as bad, he was actually a good guy but on one of his deployments , he got caught stealing oil drums and selling them to the Iraqi Army.
 

Doom85

Member
I just have had people take credit for my work. Nothing like what you have described.

AJUMP23’s true identity exposed:

rogue one GIF by Star Wars
 

BigBooper

Gold Member
The worst wasn't all that terrible compared to most. When I was a lot younger I worked at a manufacturing factory with a production line and this woman worked upstream from me, so when she caused problems it directly affected my work. I don't know if she was actively using but her brain had been turned to mush from drugs or alcohol and she could never do her job properly. For five months our team had to put up with her screwing up. Somehow she always had a sob story that the line boss believed, so despite costing the company a ton of money with defects and line stoppages, she managed to survive until several on our team put in requests with management to be transferred to a different team. They finally got rid of her.

For those of you not familiar with a production line, her not doing her job put a huge burdon on everyone in the next step of production. We had less than a minute to do one assembly and move on to the next, so constantly having to catch up reduced the time you had available. It was a rough five months.
 

Dark Star

Member
Back in my college years I worked part time at a tax return service company. I had a manager who stole like $600 from the company safe on a Friday night. She was fired Monday morning lol.

The supervisor who caught her wanted me to step up and take her place but I didn’t need the extra work or hours. I could have run that joint pretty well if I stuck with it TBH.

Morals/principles wise, she was a POS for doing that, and looking back on it, I can’t believe how stupid someone can be to steal money from their workplace when daily cash reports are tracked and sent to corporate every night.
 
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Kenpachii

Member
College that found it fun to stalk under aged girls on the internet while at work with the most deplorable shit.
He also had a hobby of death treating people at work he didn't like.

Didn't took long before the cops came knocking at his door.
 
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nush

Gold Member
College that found it fun to stalk under aged girls on the internet while at work

I had one colleague that came to our office onetime and looking out the window saw the schoolgirls leaving for the day walking down the road that you could see from our window. He made some "ohh schoolgirls" comment we took as ironic dark humor at the time. But then every day after that, at that exact time he'd find an excuse to be in our office and at the window.

We told him to just fuck off when we worked out he was actually having a daily afternoon perv at underage girls.
 

cormack12

Gold Member
Dude who got arrested shortly after leaving for using hidden cameras in a tanning salon (or this dr), though I didn't work directly work him - more ran projects for their dept.

 
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Mistake

Member
I used to work with one guy who was always super stressed out and bossy. I don’t know why he acted like that, but he was my favorite person to mess with. He’d ask me to get something and I’d pretend not to see it, or tell me to do a small job and I’d deny he ever told me
 
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I remember my first real job. I worked in a political role (just low level) And we were going into an election. Well, it’s an unwritten rule that you help out before and after work on elections when you are in a role. It’s no biggie and is usually super fun. It often runs a bit late and overlaps a bit with work. You just need to make that time up else where which everyone does.

Anyways, this one lady decided that as I was a bit late she would tattle to my director (who was actually with me in the war room…) that I was late a few days. Well, needless to say it didn’t reflect poorly on me but she tried several times to get me fired behind my back. I only knew her for a few days before she started this stuff too.

I have truly no idea why but that lady just hated me. I’m sure I did something that just bugged her but she never told me. I just started to make sure other people knew her for what she was.
 

Winter John

Member
Never had too many shithead co workers. Had more than a few crazies. The most memorable one was this girl who was an actual kleptomaniac. She’d steal your shit, hide it in her locker then come up a few hours later apologizing, embarrassed as hell, and tell you she’d stolen your shit. Nobody minded too much. We all knew she couldn’t help herself. The most interesting thing was she had like phases where she’d steal a certain type of thing. One time it was shoes, another time it was bread rolls. Eventually one of the bosses figured out a real good solution. He put a combination on her swag locker and gave everyone the number to it. That way she could steal our shit and we could get it back without embarrassing her.
 

AJUMP23

Member
I did have a college roommate who was a moron. He had porn all over the room. This was a fairly small room we shared. One night he had a girl over, and they woke me up, I hear her say "Oh [name deleted] I'm in your bed I could just die". I took this opportunity to say, "if you two don't stay quiet I can arrange that." I never heard her or saw her again. I knew who she was on campus, but she would never look at me after that incident.
 

DGrayson

Mod Team and Bat Team
Staff Member
Mine was a doozy , we served together and I am still baffled how he didn't get kicked out sooner, he would literally get in trouble every day, but these are the big incidents, I am not sure how he didnt go to jail for the first one:

- He was caught partying with underage girls , all of them were drunk and he had a gun with him (and he was waving it around)
- He went on leave, lent his car to a friend who then proceeded to do a drive by shooting (his car was taken by the police for a year)
- He went on leave on another occasion and was legally AWOL for 5 days, when he came back , he claimed he missed 5 flights back to our base (Nobody bought that shit excuse, who the fuck misses 5 flights?)

He finally got kicked out when he pissed hot (weed) but he did it on purpose , which was extra dumb because he only had a few months left in his contract, he lost all his rank and left as a fuzzy , and I think he got an Other than Honorable Discharge (which is not good).


The other one was not as bad, he was actually a good guy but on one of his deployments , he got caught stealing oil drums and selling them to the Iraqi Army.

Lol which country did this happen in (the bolded)
 

chromhound

Gold Member
Right now there's one of my coworkers that wipe his ass full of shit and put it in the washroom garbage. We remove one of the garbage and he decided to do it in another washroom
 

intbal

Member
Small office.
Entire payroll was the manager, his secretary, the technician, and me.
I was the salesman. Worked on commission. Another part of my job was managing inventory. If there were no customers in the store, I was always in the stock room or managing records.
The secretary, who only had to do any actual work at the end of the day, would hover around the front door, waiting for customers to approach. She muted the door bell, so I couldn't hear it, then would poach my commissions.
She got caught and prosecuted for writing hot checks after 4 months on the job.
 

Dural

Member
I don't really consider this guy a shithead, I think he was purposefully trying to get fired because of being moved to second shift. He was the first shift supervisor of the operators when I started at my current job, I talked to him daily, we got along quite well. After about a year and a half he got moved to the second shift supervisor and the plant superintendent's son was now the first shift supervisor. After a few months on second shift one of the operators told the plant superintendent that the supervisor and another guy were partying, drinking, getting high, and having girls over. He'd also just disappear for hours at a time. They ended up firing him, but I was told he had another job lined up and was just waiting to be fired.

Same job, when I first started I would find gloves under my desk and my chair in front of the opening to my desk. I would put the gloves on top of some cabinets, but every morning they'd be back. I asked some of the guys about it and they said the third shift supervisor, the plant superintendent's son from above, was probably sleeping under my desk and using the pack of gloves as a pillow.
 

DadEggs

Member
never knew any true asshole coworkers. have heard a few stories. but so far i've missed out on interacting much with any, just typical grumpy curmudgeons.

that said, unsure if this was done maliciously, but at a company beer night at the studio, someone put a full turd in the bathroom's vanity drawer.
 

German Hops

Gold Member
At the place I work now, there is a guy in his 50's who is always negative and talks about "the divorce" all the time. He doesn't call his ex-wife a psycho, but he claims the divorce is why he is always depressed and unhappy. Like I really want to hear about his personal problems endlessly.

I've dealt with all sorts of irritating personalities and I've learned to just ignore many of my co-workers. I have the mindset that I am only there for a paycheck, I do my job well, and if the other people don't like me that is their problem.
 

Sgt.Asher

Member
At a retirement home there was a caregiver for a week that would dissappear during shifts(found sleeping on residents beds), stole from residents, and sold a roll of tickets to a demetia resident for 50 bucks. She also didn't bathe, and was most likely on meth.

She was the worst caregiver i remember, though it is astounding the amount of absolute shit people that are in elder care.
 

Redneckerz

Those long posts don't cover that red neck boy
Me.

I'm a fucking Nazi at work and will make sure you know when you're not putting in enough effort.
Same for the most part. My main philosophy is to be proud of the work you are delivering. So the projects i take on - They just work and they work good. Co-workers projects? There is always something that doesn't work. That's my win right there. No matter how much they complain about my work ethics - or how i do at work - In the end i return a fully documented project, ready to use.

And you can tell that annoys them because people operating on success never get the praise they should have. Idiots who do trivial things? ''Hey good job!''

Not that it matters to me - Knowing that i deliver the goods is good enough for me.

Aside co-workers, i have two, and they differ radically in behavior:
  1. My direct co-worker is like Snorlax with a drama queen attitude. The man had 2 weeks of holiday, but no, he called for one more because he felt sick. Dude returns today and first thing he mentions is ''I didn't sleep well, i have a sleepy foot and oh no, now my back also hurts.'' . He was granted to leave at 14.30 to see a doctor. Mind you, he leaves normally at 16.00 - an hour sooner than everyone else here. Why the appointment couldn't be made at 16.15, i dunno, but hey, there you go. This is aside the usual things these co-workers don't do - Like actually working. But this guy doesn't get nearly as much in my way as the second one.
  2. This is a direct co-worker but from a different department near to me. This dude is an absolute Chad and subscribed to ''How can i make this about me'' and ''Its okay if i do it'' magazines. He leaves no moment unescaped to make it about himself. The thing is, he actually puts in work - But his registration of such events is absolutely deplorable. So he does a ton of practical work - But not the paperwork. The rules are bent to his own liking - Leaving an hour earlier without informing anyone whilst being the main technician for the day? Sure thing! But if you were to do it, boy, you are in a world of hurt. All the things he criticizes other people for, are things he doesn't do himself. Two-faced.
 
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Spaceman292

Member
Never had too many shithead co workers. Had more than a few crazies. The most memorable one was this girl who was an actual kleptomaniac. She’d steal your shit, hide it in her locker then come up a few hours later apologizing, embarrassed as hell, and tell you she’d stolen your shit. Nobody minded too much. We all knew she couldn’t help herself. The most interesting thing was she had like phases where she’d steal a certain type of thing. One time it was shoes, another time it was bread rolls. Eventually one of the bosses figured out a real good solution. He put a combination on her swag locker and gave everyone the number to it. That way she could steal our shit and we could get it back without embarrassing her.
That's weirdly endearing tbh
 

MachRc

Gold Member
About 9 years ago when we were all on copper (internet) my office complained to me about crawling internet speed. I noticed our office of 23 people were sharing .4 megabytes of bandwidth.
I checked our DNS firewall, and noticed we were blocking wayyyy too much pornography from this one mac address.

So I found this on a co workers computer


I had to fire the dude on the spot.

The big boss told me, we arent "prudes"...."make sure its porn"..So then I open the file...




covered with a sticky note pad so no one can see from the doorway...nice and skeezyyy


The worst part was...This f*cker was here like less than a year ..
I had to clean up his crap once we kicked him out..



Im moving and cleaning and notice all this crap behind his desk... like WTF is that....
all this dust crap behind his desk.

I looked close and finally saw that this crackhead had chewed and spit
all his finger nails behind his computer desk ..
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK
 
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isual

Gold Member
i'm the real OG low. i'll take a shower at work, take a shit at work, take the food. i don't like office politics and i am just here for work and $.
 
Got bullied by a guy in primary school, and then at the first job I got out of college he was conveniently also there. Continued to be the biggest piece of shit on the planet to me and a lot of other women in the office he thought he had the right to talk shit to

He used to pull the rankest girls ever which he deserved

Rest in pieces Mr David
 
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IDKFA

Member
Many.

The woke leftists are the worst.

This. I've worked with people who members of The Communist Party of Britain. Their views were absolutely insane and spent ages trying to convert me to their fucked up ideology.

Some points I found intriguing, such as the idea to abolish all forms of law enforcement, replaced by a system with citizens who've been drafted by the state to patrol the streets with just melee weapons. However, that's where it ended and ultimately I found them terrifying.

Luckily I moved out of that area and don't have to deal with their terrifying and laughably insane vision of the future.
 

lethial

Member
Working in construction I'd say 4 out of every 10 tradesmen\women are racist, homophobic, far-right shitheads. Just the other day a project manager went off to me about all the ethnic groups he doesn't like because a variety of diarrhea reasons.
 
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Ownage

Member
This. I've worked with people who members of The Communist Party of Britain. Their views were absolutely insane and spent ages trying to convert me to their fucked up ideology.

Some points I found intriguing, such as the idea to abolish all forms of law enforcement, replaced by a system with citizens who've been drafted by the state to patrol the streets with just melee weapons. However, that's where it ended and ultimately I found them terrifying.

Luckily I moved out of that area and don't have to deal with their terrifying and laughably insane vision of the future.
Many woke leftists work in non-profit. Most are women too. No hate. Just an observation. It's like... avoiding a bad part of town. Just don't go in that direction and you'll be okay.
 
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Mr Hyde

Member
I don't think I ever worked with a bonafide shithead. Some have been lazy and unmotivated but other than that, nope can't think of anyone. I feel grateful for that. I really value good co-workers.
 
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Billbofet

Member
I managed a woman years ago that had been in her role for over ten years and felt she deserved more. Not because she was smart and used her experience to better the role/department - because she did not at all - but simply because she been doing stuff longest.
She set up a meeting with me a week prior to her official, annual review, I think, to give me an ultimatum. She started the meeting essentially threatening to leave if her demands were not met and she wanted a HUGE raise, so I better plan for it in the official review in seven days.
Her big threat, after talking in circles about how much she was in demand by other companies and departments within our current company (she was not at all I assure you) was to make a minimum of $45K!!!. She demanded this or she was ready to head out the door.
The great news to her was that she was already making $55K and had been for nearly two years due to raises being put on hold at the time.

I left the job not too long after that, but I took every opportunity to highlight that I was willing to cut her pay at any time and share it with the rest of the team as her demand/threat was so generous. She actually got a kick out of it too and realized how fucking dumb and unprepared she was.
 
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