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[Giard]

So I am sitting in front of my computer at 2 am, contemplating my bowl of Lucky Charms cereal. Why are the marshmallows hard? Marshmallows are supposed to be soft, fluffy. Am I just "unlucky" with my Lucky Charms? Every box I bought had those hard marshmallows. Curious, I go to wiki to try and find an answer.

Marshmallow fluff and other slightly less firm marshmallow products generally contain almost no gelatin

Taking this to the other extreme, do Lucky Charms marshmallows have a huge quantity of gelatin, making them extremely firm? Are there a lot more of marshmallow kinds I don't know about? Are they dehydrated, originally made with water? Or can it be that they aren't marshmallows at all? Just some sort of sugary confection?

This is the kind of question everybody asks themselves, but no one wants to ask others because they'll look stupid. I'm doing it, GAF. Help me find the answer.

 

[Alien Bob]

How can we create world peace?

How can we end world hunger?

What is the purpose of life?

Is the world really ruled by a Lizard Illuminati?

Why are these marshmallows SO HORDE!?

 

[Frank the Great]

im pretty sure the lizard illuminati just likes his marshmallows like that

 

[Barnolde]

Because leprechauns arouse them.

 

[TemplaerDude]

lucky charms are disgusting. and the marshmallows are just fucking nasty feeling and tasting.

 

[Odysseus]

lucky charms are disgusting. and the marshmallows are just fucking nasty feeling and tasting.

so, better without milk, right?

 

[Defuser]

If you choke on it and survive...you're lucky.

 

[White Man]

Those are bits of leprechaun cartilidge, not marshmallows.

 

[aoi tsuki]

Why are twentysomethings eating childrens' cereal? Are they still magically delicious?

 

[Odysseus]

cereal is just too convenient. particulary when dry.

i've long championed, and i might have even mentioned here in this very forum, the idea of living off cereal. who has the time to cook? who wants to waste all that money eating out? get all your nutrients from dried cereal in a variety of flavors.

it doesn't all have to be sweet. that's right, it's time expand the selection. meat and potatoes? spaghetti dinner? pizza? all that and more!

yes, it's meant to be. it has to happen. if it's good enough for our pets, practically members of the family, it's good enough for us.

purina people chow. it's what's for dinner.

 

[demon]

I miss kids cereal. I stopped eating it when I accepted that it's basically dessert for breakfast.

 

[Defuser]

Why are twentysomethings eating childrens' cereal? Are they still magically delicious?

It's still food....

 

[Giard]

I...I guess they are made out of leprechauns.

Spoiler

This was supposed to be serious

 

[aoi tsuki]

It's still food....

Yeah, but they're made for kids. i'm not talking about the packaging and marketing and whatnot, but the fact that they're generally oversweetened, artificially colored and flavored, and simpler in flavor and texture to appease the simpler tastes buds of kids. You may as well just do it right put your favorite cookies in milk and eat up. i'm seriously not trying to knock anyone's tastes, but that's the truth.

 

[Giard]

NVM What I just said!

BREAKTHROUGH: I have discovered on the Lucky Charms wiki that the marshmallows are called "Marbits".
When searching "Marbits" on Google, I got on this website:
http://marbits.com/

Is he someone, like me, who wanted to know the truth? Is the answer on this page or on the Lucky Charms Wiki that it links to? Did he give up?

Determined, I continue my search to arrive on The Boxtop Cereal Newsletter.

A "marbit" is that colorful shaped marshmallow found in numerous cereals aimed at kids, like Lucky Charms. John Holahan, a Genral Mills VP, invented marbits in 1963. The idea came to him when he cut up a few orange marshmallow "Circus Peanuts", stirred them into a bowl of Cheerios, and enjoyed the result.

That must be digusting. Anyways, I have discovered the origins. It is true that Circus Peanuts do have an unusual texture compared to normal marshmallows.

Marbits are made of sugar, corn syrup, and gelatin

Is this the answer? Let's compare to the original marshmallow recipe given on Wikipedia:

The marshmallow a confection that, in its modern form, consists of sugar or corn syrup, beaten egg whites, gelatin that has been pre-softened in water, gum arabic, and flavorings

Is it the lack of beaten egg whites? Is the gelatin used for Marbits not been pre-softened in water? Is it the gum arabic?

We are getting close, don't let me down people.

 

[Oldschoolgamer]

Why are twentysomethings eating childrens' cereal? Are they still magically delicious?

Yes. I get mesmerized by the cinnamon sugar swirls in every bite.

 

[Pokeylongo]

Why are twentysomethings eating childrens' cereal? Are they still magically delicious?

I eat handfuls of Honey Bunches of Oats and tell myself it's healthy because it doesn't have cartoon characters on the box. But yeah, delicious cereal is basically sugar + carbs with a side of sugar.

 

[echoshifting]

It's still food....

Only in the loosest sense of the word.

 

[CB3]

Yeah, but they're made for kids. i'm not talking about the packaging and marketing and whatnot, but the fact that they're generally oversweetened, artificially colored and flavored, and simpler in flavor and texture to appease the simpler tastes buds of kids

OH TEH NOOOOS IM ENJOYING THINGS MADE FOR KIDS!!!! ITS SO WRONG!

By that logic, anyone over 13 playing games like mario or zelda or sonic should grow up and be made to play EXTREME GAMES like BMX XXX because its what we are suppose to play. I mean because its aimed toward the 18-24 demographic, right? We shouldnt even think about watching any old disney movies because they are not meant for us anymore.... Nope. Just Titties and Gore from here on out!


wow...

 

[OmniGamer]

OH TEH NOOOOS IM ENJOYING THINGS MADE FOR KIDS!!!! ITS SO WRONG!

By that logic, anyone over 13 playing games like mario or zelda or sonic should grow up and be made to play EXTREME GAMES like BMX XXX because its what we are suppose to play. I mean because its aimed toward the 18-24 demographic, right? We shouldnt even think about watching any old disney movies because they are not meant for us anymore.... Nope. Just Titties and Gore from here on out!


wow...

Yeah I don't get that logic either...does ice cream not taste good anymore simply because it tasted good to you as a child? Are cheeseburgers, hot dogs, chocolate, etc, "kid's food". Rather than call cereal "kiddy" food, why not just call it "all-ages" food? Geeze, taste is taste, I don't care what the perception of a particular food is, if i like it, i'll eat it and enjoy doing so.

 

[Crayon Shinchan]

Rather than call it kids cereal, the term: Slowly inducing death through childhood obesity Cereal should be used.

It's a more accurate term.

 

[spoon!]

Weetbix is a man's cereal.

 

[Takuan]

I just figured they were freeze-dried or something.

 

[acidviper]