Why do I feel like smart women never date people less intelligent than themselves?

[Stencil]

I feel like I never see obviously intelligent women with a partner who is purely attractive in a physical sense and nothing more. Whereas, with men I feel this is commonplace, the "trophy-wife" thing.

Are "trophy-husbands" even a thing?

 

[EloquentM]

Generalizing and all that jazz.

 

[EdibleKnife]

If cartoons and sitcoms have taught me anything, they do.

 

[John Dunbar]

i'd love to be a trophy husband. unfortunately i'd be a third place in a local cock fight at best.

 

[criesofthepast]

I look like a Greek god and my gf is a doctor. I am still in school. She is way smarter than me. OP wrong.

 

[gryz]

they're smart enough to know better.

although I have a BS and my wife has a PhD so im technically the stupid one

 

[sfedai0]

They can smell out the betas.

 

[nilbog21]

competence is the biggest turn on for women..so why would they date someone they regard as stupid.

edit: also women in general are smarter than men :/

 

[Kevtones]

it's an exact science, sorry bro

 

[Slayven]

I feel like I never see obviously intelligent women with a partner who is purely attractive in a physical sense and nothing more. Whereas, with men I feel this is commonplace, the "trophy-wife" thing.

Are "trophy-husbands" even a thing?

Cougars?

 

[Mully]

Not a trophy in the slightest, and I'm certain all of the women I've seriously dated, were smarter than me.

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

Eccentricity with a dash of intelligence can win over them eggheads. I usually date them smart girls, you probably talking about them boys dumb as rocks though.

 

[bjork]

Sometimes it's all part of the game.

 

[Deified Data]

According to OP I must be smarter than my wife. I must rub it in her face when I get home.

 

[Opiate]

Almost by definition, doesn't this need to be not true?

Let's say I'm a highly intelligent man who marries a woman who is much less intelligent. This means that I'm off the table for those intelligent women to take. And for every other intelligent guy who marries a woman of lower intelligence, there are less of these men available in the pool.

In other words, this is more or less a zero sum game.

 

[teruterubozu]

I'm a dumbass compared to my wife.

 

[gryz]

In other words, this is more or less a zero sum game.

if you assume that every person is paired up with another person, which is clearly not the case

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Almost by definition, doesn't this need to be not true?

Let's say I'm a highly intelligent man who marries a woman who is much less intelligent. This means that I'm off the table for those intelligent women to take. And for every other intelligent guy who marries a woman of lower intelligence, there are less of these men available in the pool.

In other words, this is more or less a zero sum game.

Classic Opiate.

 

[MadSkillzBahamut]

Almost by definition, doesn't this need to be not true?

Let's say I'm a highly intelligent man who marries a woman who is much less intelligent. This means that I'm off the table for those intelligent women to take. And for every other intelligent guy who marries a woman of lower intelligence, there are less of these men available in the pool.

In other words, this is more or less a zero sum game.

Well the OP isn't suggesting that intelligent men are exclusive with trophy wives, but that intelligent women are exclusive with men of equal or higher intelligence.

 

[Opiate]

if you assume that every person is paired up with another person, which is clearly not the case

It's why I said "more or less." You'd need to argue that the available pool of men at any given time is disproportionately dumb, while the available pool of women would need to be disproportionately intelligent. It's possible, just less likely.

 

[Shaanyboi]

What woman wants to date an idiot?

 

[tino]

I listen to this movie podcast, one of the host is a film critic in Portland (he is pretty dumb since as a film critic he has not seen any Hitchcock movies), and he married a medical doctor.

That's all I can think off for now.

 

[Falcs]

My wife is way smarter than I am.
I don't think it's uncommon.

 

[gutter_trash]

people seem to confuse academic intelligence with smarts

two different things.

someone who is academically intelligent can be a complete moron on their personal finances, taking care of themselves and dealing with people

 

[Face it Tiger..]

I'd love a chick who could do my taxes, or balance my cheque book.


But why would they date me..other than the fact that I'm handsome

Spoiler

citation needed

 

[ToxicAdam]

Date? Sure. Marry? Probably not.


Also, 'intelligence' is a tricky metric. I know people that have Masters degrees and aren't any smarter than your typical high school graduate. They were just very determined and had the resources/lifestyle to see it through.

 

[WalkMan]

I have several female friends that are highly intelligent and well off in their careers - they date thugs. Something to do with personality and not having competition/comparison in a relationship. Actually the guys they date are kind of ugly too, so I guess it's more of a novel thing - they wanted something very different.

 

[SteveWinwood]

I have several female friends that are highly intelligent and well off in their careers - they date thugs. Something to do with personality and not having competition/comparison in a relationship. Actually the guys they date are kind of ugly too, so I guess it's more of a novel thing - they wanted something very different.

yo hook me up man

 

[akira28]

I would laugh.

 

[terrisus]

they're smart enough to know better.

Came here to say this.

 

[Zocano]

I know I'm a trophy boyfriend, that's for sure.

 

[Bloodrage]

In NYC it's the complete opposite. They want their man to be as dumb and illiterate as humanly possible. When asked why, "it's sexy." Happy parenting!

 

[ComputerMKII]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy

 

[entremet]

What a crazy generalization.

 

[SillyEskimo]

Hypergamy may be at least part of the reason.

 

[kick51]

you feel that way because that's just what you've seen, but it's hardly the norm. I've acted a lot dumber than I am...well, prob about every time I've gotten with someone.

It's not just "acting dumb" though. there's some complex details about power balance and art of war type shit that i can barely even put into words.

 

[Kurita]

I feel like my gf is smarter than me though.

 

[Stencil]

you feel that way because that's just what you've seen, but it's hardly the norm. I've acted a lot dumber than I am...well, prob about every time I've gotten with someone.

It's not just "acting dumb" though. there's some complex details about power balance and art of war type shit that i can barely even put into words.

You mean, being coy?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy

from the Wiki:

Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up") is the act or practice of marrying someone of higher caste or status than oneself. Although the term is not gendered, it is generally used by social scientists to refer to women marrying higher-status men, rather than to men marrying higher-status women.

[...]

Social learning theorists, however, say women value men with high earning capacity because women's own ability to earn is constrained by their disadvantaged status in a male-dominated society. They argue that as societies shift towards becoming more gender-equal, women's mate selection preferences will shift as well.

So it's just a matter of time, eh?

Good post though; pretty much exactly what I was looking to read on the topic. Thanks MKII!

 

[Ahasverus]

Do you?

 

[Mister Wilhelm]

You don't know enough smart women.

 

[speculawyer]

And tall women are not keen on dating men shorter than them.

 

[Beardz]

OP, what do you mean by "intelligent"?

 

[lmpaler]

I was recently dating this girl for roughly a month and I left because she was an idiot.

My god the sex was fantastic. She was down for whatever I threw at her, but when the sex was over and it came time for a healthy conversation, there was nothing. It was me talking and her listening and never being able to really utter a word unless it was about typical girl stuff.

Intelligence is extremely attractive in a woman so I imagine it is the same way with women for men. If you are a dumbass and can't hold your own, she should leave you behind

 

[Symphonia]

Well, if they're anything like me, it's because they like to be able to have and maintain an intelligent conversation with their partner. Nothing annoys me more than not being able to sit down and discuss something in detail with a SO.

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

Intelligence in a guy is super hot, and it's one of the qualities I value most in a man other than his sense of humor. I know I'm getting pretty cliche, but my friends would probably agree with me that they like smart guys.

As to the reasons why, for me, it's simply that it's easier to have conversations with smart guys. I consider myself pretty intelligent, and I am drawn to people who share that with me. Relationships are easier if both people are on the same page intelligence-wise.

 

[SteveWinwood]

Men are known for trophy wives. Women are known to keep a pool boy around. One of these is infinitely smarter than the other.

wait the pool boy is smart right

 

[SmackDaddy]

Iuno, sometimes in the "getting to know you" phase, you like to have stuff to talk about. If that isn't there, then... ehhh they 'gon date someone else.

 

[anarckitty]

I feel like my gf is smarter than me though.

That's because she is.

Spoiler

=P

 

[kick51]

You mean, being coy?

nah, it's never quite that simple. that's part of it, but I guess it depends on who you're talking to.

 

[lethial]

My gf is a doctor and I'm in the trades.