Why do women put up with beautifying for others?

[Two Words]

Make-up, high heels, expensive hair maintenance, uncomfortable tight clothing, body hair shaving/waxing, perfumes, purses, lack of pockets, etc.

This stuff seems like a lot of added work, and most of it is typically for pleasing others. It seems pretty unfair that I can get out of bed, brush my teeth, wash my face and armpits, throw on some deodorant and I generally won't be looked down for my appearance as a man. I'm sure a lot of women, and even men, enjoy looking nicer and don't mind the work. But it feels like men have it as an option and women have it as an unwritten social rule. I'm surprised how this unwritten social rule still exists in our modern society.


So how do women feel about that? I only hear women talk about it whenever feminism is brought up, and that generally only gets out the stronger feminist opinion out. So I'd I'd like to ask women that feel these social pressures, how do you feel about it? Regardless of whether or not you like to do any of these things, how much does it bother you that you are expected to do it?

 

[CitizenVectron]

The same reason men shave and put on suits: because you feel good when others like your appearance.

 

[V_Arnold]

Social constructs are hard to just shake off.
They are deeply ingrained in your everyday routines.

One needs to fight *really* hard and even realize that that is what drives them to do thing XYZ.

 

[braves01]

What makes you think they aren't beautifying for themselves, at least partially?

 

[Finaika]

They do it for themselves.

 

[Two Words]

What makes you think they aren't beautifying for themselves, at least partially?

Read the OP.

 

[anarckitty]

The same reason men shave and put on suits: because you feel good when others like your appearance.

True.

 

[ComputerMKII]

I know women who don't.

 

[hipbabboom]

Well... we DO live in a society where people take their time to get to know who a person is inside before making objective fair and balanced decisions that won't impact the life of the person in question.

...I'm not sure why either OP.

 

[Mariolee]

Men have their own make up.

 

[Two Words]

The same reason men shave and put on suits: because you feel good when others like your appearance.

Right, but nobody looks down on men for not shaving wearing suits outside of formal business occasions. That's the part I am talking about.

 

[Ferrio]

Right, but nobody looks down on men for not shaving wearing suits outside of formal business occasions. That's the part I am talking about.

Neckbeards.

 

[BeatResetsTheWorld]

Right, but nobody looks down on men for not shaving wearing suits outside of formal business occasions. That's the part I am talking about.

Bull-fucking-shit
Where do you think the term neckbeard came from? Yeah, it's not as prevalent as with women, but saying nobody is blatantly not true

 

[IncandescentPrecept]

They do it for themselves.

This... so that others can find them beautiful.

 

[zruben]

They do it for themselves.

.

 

[braves01]

Read the OP.

I honestly think women don't get looked down on for just throwing on jeans and a t-shirt nowadays for casual situations. I think you might have a point if makeup is included though, even "natural" makeup.

 

[kirblar]

Right, but nobody looks down on men for not shaving wearing suits outside of formal business occasions. That's the part I am talking about.

They most definitely look down on them if they're overweight.

 

[Two Words]

Neckbeards.

Neck beards are not criticized for not shaving. It's criticizing the kind of beard they can grow. Nobody criticizes people for growing a real beard.

 

[shinobi602]

Right, but nobody looks down on men for not shaving wearing suits outside of formal business occasions.

You're making a ton of assumptions and generalizations right there. I don't think you speak for everybody.

 

[Massive Duck. C.M.]

Bad premise.

Your opinions are not facts

 

[Two Words]

I honestly think women don't get looked down on for just throwing on jeans and a t-shirt nowadays for casual situations. I think you might have a point if makeup is included though, even "natural" makeup.

Any make up. What's the common reaction to a girl with naturally hairy arms, for example.

 

[zruben]

Neck beards are not criticized for not shaving. It's cruising the kind of beard they can grow. Nobody criticizes people for growing a real beard.

when someone calls you "neckbeard", 90% of the time will be a critique about your lack of grooming skills.

 

[unholyrevenger72]

because you feel good when others like your appearance.

This only works with people with positive self esteem.

 

[Two Words]

You're making a ton of assumptions and generalizations right there. I don't think you speak for everybody.

Yes, the entire point is that generally men are not looked down on it for it. I'm talking about trends, not absolutes.

 

[BeatResetsTheWorld]

Neck beards are not criticized for not shaving. It's cruising the kind of beard they can grow. Nobody criticizes people for growing a real beard.

Yeah, no. They most definitely are. Men who can't grow full beards and don't shave are generally looked down upon. Not shaving is also seen as "unkept" in professional settings.

 

[FINALFANTASYDOG]

Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty

http://www.amazon.com/Survival-Prettiest-The-Science-Beauty/dp/0385479425

This has pretty much been solved...

Survival of the Prettiest argues persuasively that looking good has survival value, and that sensitivity to beauty is a biological adaptation governed by brain circuits shaped by natural selection.

Because those who care are those genes get passed along my friend,

 

[Crossing Eden]

Neck beards are not criticized for not shaving. It's criticizing the kind of beard they can grow. Nobody criticizes people for growing a real beard.

What world do you live in where neckbeards are not criticized for their grooming skills?

 

[Winterfang]

I spend a lot of time and products to make me myself presentable to society. It starts with good hygiene, then cream for my ashy skin, gel so my hair stays in place, keep my face trimmed and shaved, deodorant is very important, lip balm for dry lips, tear drops for red eyes, modern clothes etc.. if I look terrible, I'm just doing a disservice to society and distract people for their daily lives by looking at my unkempt ass.

 

[unholyrevenger72]

when someone calls you "neckbeard", 90% of the time will be a critique about your lack of grooming skills.

No, it's derogatory remark of man's lack of masculinity. Thick facial hair is a sign of Masculinity the world over.

 

[shinobi602]

Yes, the entire point is that generally men are not looked down on it for it. I'm talking about trends, not absolutes.

I wouldn't even say that's a trend. It's not that difficult to understand really. Humans are animals, in nature animals beautify themselves or do functions to attract the opposite sex, it's no different with human beings, both for males and females.

 

[NEOPARADIGM]

I thought a "neckbeard" was when you let the hair on the back of your neck grow out too long.

Learn something every day.

 

[Ferrio]

No, it's derogatory remark of man's lack of masculinity. Thick facial hair is a sign of Masculinity the world over.

No.... no it's not.


"2. Derogatory term for slovenly nerdy people who have no sense of hygene or grooming. Often related to hobbies such as card gaming, video gaming, anime, et. al."

 

[entremet]

Much of these centuries old practices--make up isn't new--have their origins in simulating female attraction/arousal--red lips, blushed cheeks, high heels accentuate hips and butt, tight clothing shows off hourglass figure, etc.

I dated a girl who loved makeup even though she was amazingly beautiful without it. She thought it was great for self expression.

 

[Crossing Eden]

No, it's derogatory remark of man's lack of masculinity. Thick facial hair is a sign of Masculinity the world over.

Huh? Since when do people call people neckbeards to make fun of their masculinity? OT, men and women groom themselves for society, social activities or doing pretty much anything is generally better if you groom and make yourself look presentable. It's not just a thing women have to deal with, if a man or a woman don't groom, keep up hygiene then they certainly won't be very popular. And you should visit my university, almost every woman here wears casual clothing. This is the first time i'm hearing that apparently women are looked down upon for wearing a t-shirt and jeans, I must have missed that since i've seen them do so my entire life.

 

[Two Words]

So the gist of the responses I am getting is "Because they like it and men are also expected to beautify themselves too."


I think the amount men are expected to beautify is far, far, far less than women. The difference is so vast that the comparison just feels disingenuous. And plenty of women do and don't like to do it. I'd wager a significant amount don't like it, but put up with it as an expectation. And the whole point of the question was why do women put up with the expectation.

 

[pinkurocket]

Make this a post on Tumblr and you're gonna have a field day with the replies you'll get.

 

[Futureman]

It still seems pretty optional for women to me. I got ready with my lady this morning and the only thing really different was a couple extra make up minutes. She doesn't need to shave her face either

 

[Two Words]

I wouldn't even say that's a trend. It's not that difficult to understand really. Humans are animals, in nature animals beautify themselves or do functions to attract the opposite sex, it's no different with human beings, both for males and females.

I didn't ask why do men like women dolling themselves up. I asked why do women put up with the expectation.

 

[Winterfang]

No, it's derogatory remark of man's lack of masculinity. Thick facial hair is a sign of Masculinity the world over.

What? It just because it looks ugly and patchy and unkempt. Even when I absolutely not in a mood to shave or trim, I get read for my neck beard and instantly look better.

 

[anarckitty]

I thought a "neckbeard" was when you let the hair on the back of your neck grow out too long.

Learn something every day.

That is really gross.

 

[Ferrio]

I didn't ask why do men like women dolling themselves up. I asked why do women put up with the expectation.

Because like all human beings we like to be accepted by others, especially the other gender?

It isn't a hard question to answer.

 

[Winterfang]

I thought a "neckbeard" was when you let the hair on the back of your neck grow out too long.

Learn something every day.

That's a nape, I get some of those hairs and hate it. But I can't trim myself there.

 

[zruben]

No, it's derogatory remark of man's lack of masculinity. Thick facial hair is a sign of Masculinity the world over.

No dude... I swear to you that it's about lack of grooming skills...

when you grow a beard, you're not supposed to let the ugly and uneven beard that grows on your neck, you're supposed to shave it so it looks awesome and uniform.

 

[shinobi602]

I didn't ask why do men like women dolling themselves up. I asked why do women put up with the expectation.

Good question, and this isn't even a question a male can (or should be able to) answer really. The answer to this will differ with every woman you ask.

 

[Moral Panic]

The same reason men shave and put on suits: because you feel good when others like your appearance.

This. Whether it is male or female it is the same, the feeling that you look good is really...... nice.

 

[Trax]

Neck beards are not criticized for not shaving. It's criticizing the kind of beard they can grow. Nobody criticizes people for growing a real beard.

So they still make fun of their appearance.

 

[Two Words]

(Personally)

7. Purses- These are awesome...? I can carry so much stuff in it, especially to sneak food into a movie theater.

Purses definitely have their moments like that. From my limited experiences seeing women with purses, they seem like a really inefficient method of carrying stuff. I often see women having a hard time finding stuff in their purse. Then again, I guess purses become a lot more cumbersome when you are carting more things to handle some of the stuff talked about in this thread.

 

[Zombine]

I'm a well kept dude. I do it because I like it and it makes me feel better. I love the routine of working out, shaving, putting on good cologne, and just generally eating healthy.

I know you mean well OP, but it's up to them, and most girls just enjoy looking and feeling nice like I do.

 

[Two Words]

Good question, and this isn't even a question a male can (or should be able to) answer really. The answer to this will differ with every woman you ask.

I was asking women.

 

[Moral Panic]

Neckbeard was a descriptor for when people get so fat the fat on their neck acts as a beard for their face. Somehow it got changed because people just assumed it was different. Same with trolling, many people thing it has something to do with the fantasy troll under a bridge but it refers to a fishing technique.