• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Why is it considered transphobic to not want to date somebody who is trans?

Woo-Fu

incest on the subway
Jan 2, 2007
17,339
7,074
1,555
Phobic - having or involving an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something.

Transphobics need support and understanding for their condition, not vilification.

SJWs hoist by their own petard on that one.
 

Teslerum

Member
Nov 29, 2018
2,009
3,519
435
Don't let retards dictate what is wrong or right. People can date whoever the fuck they want
They can, but if they choose the wrong person despite your warnings and then use you as a tool for whining 24/7 while having no intention of listening to you and ending their relationship they can also do something else.

*Random off-topic Rant*
 
Last edited:

Amory

Member
Jul 10, 2008
10,839
872
980
Connecticut
I don't think even most trans people would say it's transphobic to not want to date a trans person. At that point you're blatantly assuming that humans can just pick who they're romantically attracted to, and those who can't are bigots. Idk if that's the hill to die on.

I guess for some trans people, if your #1 objective at all times is to be recognized as your assumed gender by the rest of society, you would have to consider it transphobic for other people to not want to date you for being trans. Otherwise your dating life is restricted to "people who are cool with dating a trans person" rather than "people who want to date you as a man/woman". To not want to date a trans man/woman is to recognize that trans men/women are different from biological men/women. And to some trans people that would be unacceptable.

For me personally I will of course use a trans persons chosen pronouns and I try to treat everyone I meet with the same respect. I have yet to meet a trans person for whom that wasn't sufficient to work with or otherwise interact with.

But at my core, do I see a trans female as fundamentally the same as a biological female, to the point where I'd date or marry either interchangeably? No.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Goro Majima

Ailynn

Faith - Hope - Love
Jan 1, 2017
1,753
9,194
905
Tennessee, USA
Not that I had any choice, but I'm transgender...or what was originally called transsexual. My condition is a birth defect brought on by prenatal exposure to Diethylstilbestrol. I suppose I'm what some people now call "trans-medicalist", because I subscribe to the idea that being transgender usually involves gender dysphoria. It sure did for me, at least before I underwent hormone replacement therapy and surgery.

That said...is it "transphobic" if someone doesn't want to date me? Should I be angry if someone isn't attracted to me strictly because I'm trans?

No way!

It's ridiculous to think so. No one has the right to attraction from anyone. Really, it just screams embarrassingly narcissistic entitlement to think otherwise.
 
Last edited:

CAB_Life

Gold Member
Dec 12, 2019
673
1,627
495
Toronto
christianadrianbrown.com
This is currently a huge issue in the LGBT community—especially when it comes to lesbians (you tell a gay man he needs to get used to “mangina” and the result is a nigh universal fuck off). It’s predominantly centred around delusions and narcissism and the presumption that everyone else sees you as your gender (or should, by social compulsion) and therefor should be attracted to you as if you were said gender. Even though in real life attraction doesn‘t work that way, and a person who’s considered ”beautiful” to one, can be repugnant to another. Then we add the echo chamber of social media in the mix and we’re left with a volatile and destructive scenario where blue-haired bearded “transbians” are trying to bully gay women for sex or aggressively colonizing their spaces.

I should note that there are genuine gender dysphoric people (trans) and they should most certainly be treated with care, respect and understanding. But there’s a huge swath of autogynopheliacs that are mingled in with the movement, too, and they’re ruining it for everyone involved.
 

captainraincoat

Gold Member
Nov 15, 2010
4,684
6,658
1,220
It’s called being an idiot

Just because someone has a different view on something does not make them a nazi/transphobic ect....part of what makes people great is they have different life experiences and the ones that cast the stones usually don’t have this.

a certain purple forum is full of these idiots
 
  • Like
Reactions: Elcid

Dacon

Member
Apr 24, 2011
3,543
3,562
1,070
Houston, Texas
I disagree on the "people are idiots" part, i.e. only psychopathic sacks of shit would attempt to force guilt heterosexuals into dating trans people with the penalty of being labelled "transphobic" for failing to comply.

It's time to call a spade a spade & stop indulging very sick, disturbed creatures who belong in an asylum.
No, there's definitely idiots who just parrot this shit without thinking about what they're saying because people have convinced them it's the right thing to do.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Elcid

IDKFA

Member
Jan 15, 2017
662
855
435
It isn't transphobic if you do not want to date a trans person, regardless of what the far-left attack dogs say.
 

Saruhashi

Member
Oct 2, 2018
2,922
7,189
570
Not trying to start anything, just genuinely curious. I've been noticing more that people are being labeled transphobic for not wanting to date somebody who is trans, but in my mind, this is how I think about it...

If you only want to date the opposite sex, you're straight, but are you homophobic? If you only want to date the same sex, you're gay, but are you heterophobic? I guess I don't understand the reason why not wanting to date somebody who is trans is considered transphobic, and not just preference, like the above two scenarios.
To be honest this is only really a problem for people who either over-share personal stuff or people who define themselves by their sexuality and talk about it all the time.

I mean, how and where and when is this question coming up and why isn't the answer "my sex life, gender identity and preferences are none of your fucking business"?

Would you date a trans person?
"Depends on the person. It's none of your business actually."

The whole thing is like a form of "cancel baiting" or ban baiting or something.

You find a person who is very very openly a lesbian and never shuts the hell up about it and you openly bait them into saying that they don't want cock. Then you berate them for transphobia.

If people kept that kind of shit quiet then there would never be an issue.

I am too old for this shit and also married for years so it doesn't affect me.

If I ever found myself in that situation though I'd just be ready with really really personal insults if I ever had to reject a transwoman.

"He agreed to go on a date with me but when he found out I was trans he went cold."

No bitch. I liked you but your shitty sense of humour and fucking boring personality put me off. Also maybe consider mints.

Easy.

I never understand how people find themselves wrapped up in these dramas. Just keep your orientation to yourself mostly and tell people that shit is none of their business.
 

ruvikx

Member
Jan 12, 2018
1,738
3,466
445
No, there's definitely idiots who just parrot this shit without thinking about what they're saying because people have convinced them it's the right thing to do.
Calling them "idiots" is too kind, i.e. it suggests there's no real harmful intent, just idiocy.

Based on the past decade of radical leftist cancel culture & their constant attacks on normalcy, I'd say they're pretty freaking deliberate in their intent to cause harm.
 

Majmun

Member
Dec 15, 2005
21,327
31
1,425
NeoGaf
There's a difference beteween social and sexual. I wouldn't mind a trans president or having trans people around me.
But I'm just not interested in them sexually.

If you're against the social part, then yes, you're a transphobe. The sexual part not.
 

DigitalScars

Member
Jun 16, 2019
62
74
190
Glasgow, Scotland
If you are a heterosexual man, who doesnt want to date a transwoman, it implies that a transwoman is different / less than a woman.

Basically you are saying a transwoman is not a 'real woman'.

Thats the optics of it anyway
I'm probably going to sound like a right dick here but they are not real women.

Don't get me wrong if going through thr change makes them happy and makes them feel comfortable in their own skin more power to them and I'd be respectful but they are not real woman. They cannot give me children.
 
Last edited:

Dacon

Member
Apr 24, 2011
3,543
3,562
1,070
Houston, Texas
Calling them "idiots" is too kind, i.e. it suggests there's no real harmful intent, just idiocy.

Based on the past decade of radical leftist cancel culture & their constant attacks on normalcy, I'd say they're pretty freaking deliberate in their intent to cause harm.
I'm not talking about leftists or radicals dude. I'm talking about normal people who have been duped into thinking this nonsense is moral.
 

ruvikx

Member
Jan 12, 2018
1,738
3,466
445
I'm not talking about leftists or radicals dude. I'm talking about normal people who have been duped into thinking this nonsense is moral.
Those so-called "normal people" you mention just happen to be... leftists or radicals. Both generally go hand in hand, i.e. transgender activism (certainly when it's about the topic of guilt-forcing heterosexuals to date transgenders) is an SJW thing.

I don't believe there's a single real "normal person" in the world who'd be okay with this.
 

UnNamed

Member
Dec 21, 2006
1,130
1,713
1,365
Somewhere in Bananaland
Because being transphobic, homophobic or racist is an opinion in 2020.

Like white people with tan is racist because is POC's cultural appropriation. This have sense if racism is my opinion. Otherwise it's just an incredible bullshit.
 
Dec 15, 2011
10,418
30,508
1,175
Of course, we're already skipping over the first fallacy present in the OP's question (not accusing OP here) which is the use of the term "phobic" and "phobia" when projecting a judgement onto others.

Per dictionary definition:
"A phobia is a type of anxiety disorder defined by a persistent and excessive fear of an object or situation."

Of course 'trans' is not the only word that 'phobic' and 'phobia' get attached to in this way, but the dishonest framing is the same. People employing such terms to justify their own positions whilst dismissing the positions of others are corrupting language for sensationalism - and allowing it to become weaponised.

Ironically, it's such people that are creating the issue due to intolerance of others - yet they rely on their projection of intolerance to bluster their targets and their critics into acquiescence.

Hence the term "crybully".
 

Mohonky

Member
Jan 19, 2007
11,831
1,639
1,445
I'm probably going to sound like a right dick here but they are not real women.

Don't get me wrong if going through thr change makes them happy and makes them feel comfortable in their own skin more power to them and I'd be respectful but they are not real woman. They cannot give me children.
I suppose a counter to that point is; not all women with female reproductive organs can give you a child, does that mean they aren't real woman?

I'm not judging (either with my previous post or this one), just pointing it out.

Personally, I couldnt date someone who was transgender. There is still an something within me that does not find it something I can be attracted to, but then theres plenty of women who Im not attracted to either.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DigitalScars

quickwhips

Member
Jan 26, 2009
7,831
3,144
1,240
39
Delaware
Not trying to start anything, just genuinely curious. I've been noticing more that people are being labeled transphobic for not wanting to date somebody who is trans, but in my mind, this is how I think about it...

If you only want to date the opposite sex, you're straight, but are you homophobic? If you only want to date the same sex, you're gay, but are you heterophobic? I guess I don't understand the reason why not wanting to date somebody who is trans is considered transphobic, and not just preference, like the above two scenarios.
Because your racist! #cancelhim sex is sex why do you care how hideous the thing sucking on your wang is?
 

Super Mario

Mario Mario
Nov 12, 2016
3,180
5,161
655
There are two worlds:

- The SJW internet of fake issues
- The real world

Aside from a few crazies, no one in the real world is mad at you for not wanting to date a trans person.
 

GeorgPrime

Member
Jan 9, 2020
1,515
1,805
420
Not trying to start anything, just genuinely curious. I've been noticing more that people are being labeled transphobic for not wanting to date somebody who is trans, but in my mind, this is how I think about it...

If you only want to date the opposite sex, you're straight, but are you homophobic? If you only want to date the same sex, you're gay, but are you heterophobic? I guess I don't understand the reason why not wanting to date somebody who is trans is considered transphobic, and not just preference, like the above two scenarios.
If someone calls it "Transphobic" because your personal taste differs from theirs, thats the moment you ignore that person and tell that person to fuck off. xD
 
Last edited:

thefool

Member
May 31, 2020
178
288
285
Only someone completely fucked up thinks that.

If you don't date ugly, are you uglyphobic?
 
Last edited:
Mar 3, 2020
324
505
330
JK has your back.



Although I'm really hoping she gets revenge on Radcliffe when they come to make the Harry Potter sequels and has Harry turning up as a Trans woman.

if you think about it, after mouthing off, he can't really turn it down now.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Peggies

Fbh

Member
Dec 6, 2013
14,436
8,992
960
It isn't. It's just the usual SJW/Woke trend of getting more and more extreme in what they call "...phobic" .... "...ist".

15 years ago a racist was someone who was antagonistic towards specific people based on their race.
But in 2020, you are apparently also a racist if you expect people to be on time.

It's the same with transphobic. It has gone from an actual hatred of trans people to just being anyone who says they wouldn'd date a trans person, or anyone who suggest a trans woman isn't 100% identical to a biological woman.

They've expanded and overused these terms so much that they have made them loose any meaning or gravity.
 
Last edited:

nush

Gold Member
Oct 16, 2017
7,911
19,371
775
A long haul flight from wherever you are.
It isn't. It's just the usual SJW/Woke trend of getting more and more extreme in what they call "...phobic" .... "...ist".

15 years ago a racist was someone who was antagonistic towards specific people based on their race.
But in 2020, you are apparently also a racist if you expect people to be on time.

It's the same with transphobic. It has gone from an actual hatred of trans people to just being anyone who says they wouldn'd date a trans person, or anyone who suggest a trans woman isn't 100% identical to a biological woman.

They've expanded and overused these terms so much that they have made them loose any meaning or gravity.
Or "micro aggressions".
 

Johnny Silver

Member
Oct 24, 2018
202
342
290
If you are a heterosexual man, who doesnt want to date a transwoman, it implies that a transwoman is different / less than a woman.

Basically you are saying a transwoman is not a 'real woman'.

Thats the optics of it anyway
Does a transwoman have the "baby maker"? People marry because they want the satisfaction of creating a family and someone that will outlive them, they want heritage.

Does a transwoman have the x chromossome at the end?

Does a transwoman have the body type of a real woman, no matter how many medical interventions he goes through?

If no, then it's not a wonder that they don't have the same value as a real woman.
 
  • Like
Reactions: DigitalScars

Goro Majima

Member
Sep 2, 2007
30,783
3,064
1,465
Anyone who shames you for not having sex with people you don't find attractive are subtly pro-rape.
People who shame others for that also don’t have the best interests of trans individuals at heart.

Everyone, including trans people, deserve to be loved wholly and unconditionally in a relationship and not because you’re being made to feel that way to appease a particular movement or score feel good points.
 

GamingKaiju

Member
Oct 24, 2014
1,047
1,214
580
No absolutely not.

Coming at this from a hetro stand point, if you are dating a girl then you testing the waters for compatibility, sexual attraction, mutual understanding and a potential future that could include children is it Transphobic to want any future children that share you and your partners dna, no I don't think it is transphobic.
 

Komatsu

Gold Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,069
2,156
790
Between Chicago and NYC
The vast, overwhelming majority of LGBT people won’t shame you for your dating preferences, whatever these may be. Those who think otherwise either have never met a trans person in their entire lives or are spending too much time on tumblr.

There are crazies, of course, but that is the case with every single community under the sun, from birdwatchers to the Amish.
 

KiNeMz

Member
Aug 6, 2019
644
963
350
Stop taking all the assistance medication and where do you lay naturally? Only a rare amount of people will fall in a place where they dont know. Also a rare amount will fall in an area where they think it does not fit. But what is worrying these days is people thinking that the slight sense of attention to the opposite sex is somewhat an indication that they are trans and are living in the wrong sexed body.
 

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Feb 28, 2014
8,287
792
750
Don't listen to internet trannies who are constantly in hysterics about every imagined slight and "microaggression." No one picks who they're attracted to. If you don't want to fuck trannies, don't fuck trannies. If some tranny tries to force you to fuck them, we have a word for that. It's called rape, and it's a crime.
 
  • LOL
Reactions: Elcid

Outlier

Neo Member
Nov 9, 2020
22
30
110
It shouldn't matter to you what others think of who you're not attracted to.

It really is that simple. In a world where our choices are bountiful, there is no room for questioning why we don't want to date specific people.
 

Elcid

Gold Member
Jul 27, 2018
2,755
4,105
620
Dude if you’re dating a woman and she has a dick then it’s a woman’s dick, totes not gay to deep throat that thing and get a facial FROM A WOMAN. Just do it and post it online with the caption “I’M NOT TRANSPHOBIC!” See how many Reddit upvotes you get!
 
Last edited:
  • LOL
Reactions: Kamina and Foamy