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Woman Who Made £37,000 A Week Selling Farts Hospitalized For Trying To Fart Too Much

InfiniteCombo

Gold Member
37,000 a week? we live in the worst timeline.
It really is. I've sometimes thought the term "simp" is overused/misused, but if it wasn't for their existence, her profitability doing THAT kind of thing would not be remotely possible.

So yeah, simps are at fault for this. She's just playing the game. "Don't hate the player, hate the game" as the saying goes.
 
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poppabk

Member
I just admire her commitment, work ethic and moral fortitude. It's not like she couldn't have totally faked her farts and no-one would have been any the wiser, nor would anyone but the weirdos who bought this have cared if they found out. So the way she committed to providing these weirdos her genuine farts is nothing short of amazing.
 

Vagswarm

Member
I just admire her commitment, work ethic and moral fortitude. It's not like she couldn't have totally faked her farts and no-one would have been any the wiser, nor would anyone but the weirdos who bought this have cared if they found out. So the way she committed to providing these weirdos her genuine farts is nothing short of amazing.
Good point. I'm guessing she never thought to do that, lol.
 

Vagswarm

Member
Some real perverts would know and tell others, ruining her sales. If you wanna sell your farts online you gotta go all in on it. Business 101.
Lmao. I was just thinking, what if someone was able to tell if they were fake? Like, "I've purchased 200 jars and this one smells nothing like those!" Then continues to explain the difference in detail. I hate people.
 
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Jsisto

Member
Will a fart even retain its scent if sealed in a jar? How much of the fart will escape into the atmosphere before it’s even sealed?
 

haxan7

Volunteered as Tribute
Will a fart even retain its scent if sealed in a jar? How much of the fart will escape into the atmosphere before it’s even sealed?
Ever almost vomited because you farted a really nasty one closed up inside a small car? Now imagine that whole thing is quickly sealed up inside a space 500x smaller.
 
A business that literally sells hot air.

Gotta respect that personalised quality control.

"I think that certain foods produce better smelling farts, so I usually tend to go with the smoothies as opposed to things such as cabbage and eggs."
 

Tschumi

Member
[redacted] is cute, Japanese and has a great ass, her farts sound like trumpet blasts and don't stink... Farts all the time ... She could totally make bank doing it in lingerie online rofl
 

Shambala

Member
Can you imagine a postal worker curiously opening a jar and smelling it 😂 .. Like wtf is this shit 😂😂
 
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This reminds me of a Dexter's Lab episode, where Dexter felt so bad he thought he was dying, but it turns out he just had the biggest fart stuck in his belly. At the end he rips out one so big that he shakes the earth.
 
I just admire her commitment, work ethic and moral fortitude. It's not like she couldn't have totally faked her farts and no-one would have been any the wiser, nor would anyone but the weirdos who bought this have cared if they found out. So the way she committed to providing these weirdos her genuine farts is nothing short of amazing.
Annu Kapoor Bollywood GIF


and

Work Soldier GIF by U.S. Army
 

jshackles

Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the capability to make the world's first enhanced store. Steam will be that store. Better than it was before.
I just admire her commitment, work ethic and moral fortitude. It's not like she couldn't have totally faked her farts and no-one would have been any the wiser, nor would anyone but the weirdos who bought this have cared if they found out. So the way she committed to providing these weirdos her genuine farts is nothing short of amazing.
That's why you have to buy two jars, one to open and one to keep....

Or so I've been told.
 

NickFire

Member
Normally, I would be absolutely horrified at the prospect of girls farting to find out people pay money to smell farts.

But not this time chaps. Oh no, not this time. Instead, I need to figure out how to keep the farts from escaping a mason jar. Need to build up a big stockpile and become the neighborhood secret Santa next year.
 

Ozarkx

Banned
Just imagine, Antiques Roadshow decades from now…

Appraiser: “What we appear to have is an important influencer’s fart; still contained inside this jar.
From what we can tell, only 20 of these were bottled in this exact manner during their “Disney phase.”

*Directs pointer*

The clasp of the jar, upon closer inspection, appears to still be hermetically sealed.
This means it’s worth significantly more than the original price of $1400.00.

This is the Tiffany’s of flatulence.
An absolutely breath-taking piece and I’m delighted you’ve brought it in today.”
 

poppabk

Member
Just imagine, Antiques Roadshow decades from now…

Appraiser: “What we appear to have is an important influencer’s fart; still contained inside this jar.
From what we can tell, only 20 of these were bottled in this exact manner during their “Disney phase.”

*Directs pointer*

The clasp of the jar, upon closer inspection, appears to still be hermetically sealed.
This means it’s worth significantly more than the original price of $1400.00.

This is the Tiffany’s of flatulence.
An absolutely breath-taking piece and I’m delighted you’ve brought it in today.”
Next up we have a USB stick with a very interesting NFT on it.
 

RoboFu

One of the green rats
And if you believe that you would probably
buy a fart from someone….
 
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Yoboman

Member
What a dumbass. She could surely take a dump and bottle dozens of fart scents per load

She could even start mass producing farts and shits ona factory line, nobody would know if they are really her farts

Women have no business sense
 

jufonuk

not tag worthy
Anyone on GAF want to buy my farts ? I’m a man with a beard. Anyone ?

I could sell pictures of my feet. Anyone like hair on the feet ?
Slightly badly cut toenails ?
Anyone with that weird fetish

EviLore EviLore you want in on this opportunity?

Animated GIF
 
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haxan7

Volunteered as Tribute
Anyone on GAF want to buy my farts ? I’m a man with a beard. Anyone ?

I could sell pictures of my feet. Anyone like hair on the feet ?
Slightly badly cut toenails ?
Anyone with that weird fetish

EviLore EviLore you want in on this opportunity?

Animated GIF
that's one way to go
 
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