Would going to church and their events be easier places to meet people? End of last year my girlfriend went to prison, and the girl I got with after died in a car wreck running from the cops so i got clean its been a couple of months and I'm looking for anything something new. Its like real hard to meet people staying out of motels and that scene. I have been to church before but idk how to talk to people there. I think I'm depressed gaf I've even considered scientology cuz their YouTube video seemed so helpful
Wow, you've had it rough. I'm sorry for that.
We are all on our own small little boats. We row the boat. The boat is not in a good shape. It's leaking here and there. There could be ropes and weights and whatever else that can be put on the boat in all kinds of manner that makes it not easy to row the boat.
In the distance you see something. It's a way bigger boat. It's a cruise ship! It could be able to save you from this situation. However, in distress you might think it's just an illusion. Or you could start looking the other way and not lay your eyes on that ship at all anymore. Your own little boat is still leaking, so obviously something should be done about it. Now you have to have faith that the bigger ship exists, that it is not an illusion. And you have to have faith that the existence of that ship is what will save you. When you do that, you will naturally start to row your boat towards the ship. A wind might help you get a bit closer but you still have to row the boat. You row the boat by yourself but you wouldn't be doing that without the existence of that ship and without your faith in that ship. It would possibly help too that you fix a few of the leaking holes on your own boat and get rid of the other things on the boat that slows it down.
While the faith in the ship and the existence of that ship doesn't make you be completely trouble free, it will naturally give you strength to row the boat a bit harded a bit longer and it makes you naturally want to avoid creating more of those leaking holes and accepting more of those troubling ropes and weights that slow you down. You might get another leaking hole at some point or you might pick up some useless stuff that floats on the sea, but whenever you set your mind back on that ship, you will get a bit more strength and willpower to get closer to the ship and leave the things that slows you down.
At some points you could even feel you are as strong as that ship and you find yourself rowing the boat like you were the amazing cruise ship you see in the distance. Obviously you are not as strong but at some points you feel you are and that will get you forward again.
Now, you could say in this analogy the ship can be your own personal goal and just a wish for self improvement instead of it being God/Christ. That you don't have to believe in supernatural and metaphysical to use this kind of a mental play to get you to a better place in your life. However, I would say that making the ship be an established thing like God/Christ is much more effective than making it be your own personal place of mind because as we all know we as humans fall down very often and we change our minds over and over again. In 20 years you might not be even nearly the same person you are now so if that ship is based on who do you think you are and who do you think you should be, it will probably vanish at some point and move in a place where it's tougher to approach. With it being this established thing (God/Christ) that has been the same, is the same and will be the same, it will always be there in that same spot and it will always be approachable in the same way it always has been.
Letting the object of you faith to be God is already a good and helpful thing but letting it be Christ and choosing Christianity out of all the religions there are is even better because it's the only one that at its core lets you admit your shortcomings and lets you acknowledge the horrible potential you have had, still have, and forever will have to make your and other lives miserable - yet it still accepts you. Christianity is not a religion for people who are good and flawless. It's a religion for people who are broken and corrupt. In other words, it's the religion for all of us. It's the only one where saying "I have a serious problem" is the key to the whole thing - and I'm sure you have already said that several times in your life. And as you have done that already, the door is open so why not take a step and look inside.
If you take a literal step into a church, be aware of where you are and who are you with. There are people and places who are willing to use a broken person for their personal gain. You are under no obligation to stay in that church. You have every right to leave. If you feel you are being pressured to stay or they start talking about money a bit too much, there is a change that place is not for you. I would say you see a safe and genuine mindset of a believer in a person who is glad to be able to talk to you even for that one time. They wouldn't require or force you to talk to you day after day. They would probably be happy to do so, but they would be happy to offer their help and companionship even if it was just for one time. So maybe go and have a talk with a pastor in some church. You can talk about things online too but I think it's very helpful to be able to talk with a person by saying your things out loud. As you said it's not easy to find people outside of your old scene that wasn't good for you, but a pastor in a church will be there and will definitely talk with you. So if you feel there aren't people you can find, a pastor is at least one person you will be able to find and who most certainly doesn't belong to whatever scene you have been able to dig yourself out of and who is used to and willing to talk to any more or less broken person there is.