• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

New giant lizzard species discovered: as big as a grown man, armed with two penises

Status
Not open for further replies.

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Here comes the reptiloid porn?

http://www.news.com.au/world/specta...s-biologists-say/story-e6frfkyi-1225850704208

702623-varanus-bitatawa.jpg


BIOLOGISTS have reported the discovery of a spectacular species of giant lizard, a reptile as long as a full-grown man is tall, and said it is endowed with a double penis.

The secretive but brightly-coloured beast, a monitor lizard, is a close cousin of the komodo dragon of Indonesia.

But unlike the fearsome dragon, it is not a carnivore, nor does it feast on rotting meat.

Instead, it is entirely peaceable and tucks into fruit.


Dubbed Varanus bitatawa, the lizard measures two metres in length, according to the account, published by Britain's Royal Society.

It was found in a river valley on northern Luzon Island in the Philippines, surviving loss of habitat and hunting by local people who use it for food.

How many of the lizards have survived is unclear.

The species is almost certainly critically endangered, and might well have disappeared entirely without ever being catalogued had a large male specimen not been rescued alive from a hunter last June.
 

KevinRo

Member
This reptile will be worshiped as a God.

Anything that can literally fuck two females at once deserves to be a deity.
 

speedpop

Has problems recognising girls
And who says that being a vegetarian is a sign of weakness!?

This big guy has two cocks and he eats fruit exclusively.
 

neorej

ERMYGERD!
Veggy and two penisses? Better not tell my GF about this, she might switch me to an all-veg diet.
 

Tntnnbltn

Member
Bob Loblaw said:
50pe6q.jpg


I like how they bulletpointed that third factoid :lol
news.com.au's three dot-point summaries always make me think of The Onion's "Nation Shuddes At Large Block Of Uninterrupted Text"
"Why won't it just tell me what it's about?" said Boston resident Charlyne Thomson, who was bombarded with the overwhelming mass of black text late Monday afternoon. "There are no bullet points, no highlighted parts. I've looked everywhere—there's nothing here but words."
 

bigswords

Member
It's Monster Hunter time, time to sharpen the sword and crave these majestic 2 dicks so that I can craft my double penises armor.

Damn I almost misread the quote

Instead, it is entirely peaceable and tucks into fruit.

I was wondering what kind of monsters that uses it's double penis to fuck fruits.
 

Chuckie

Member
Monocle said:
oh noes dont tell the furries

Do they call those 'lovers of reptiles' furries too btw? Considering they don't have fur.


This beast can FHUTA and FHUTV at the same time. How awesome is that for him.
 

Monocle

Member
bigswords said:
It's Monster Hunter time, time to sharpen the sword and crave these majestic 2 dicks so that I can craft my double penises armor.
Only if you can get to the peins before I have them installed as handlebars on my new bike!

ab5dhi.jpg


Edit:
Tence said:
Do they call those 'lovers of reptiles' furries too btw? Considering they don't have fur.
Err, scalies then? I don't know the preferred nomenclature!

This beast can FHUTA and FHUTV at the same time. How awesome is that for him.
Or DP all by himself. :O
 

Brashnir

Member
Monocle said:
Err, scalies then? I don't know the preferred nomenclature!

And now with a Big Lebowski reference, I'm saddened that this thing was found in the Phillippines and not China, or we could call it a China-saur.
 

RevenantKioku

PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS oh god i am drowning in them
evil solrac v3.0 said:
smh@humanity, hunting them for food..... what a joke....
Honestly, I want to know what everything taste like.
 

Amir0x

Banned
it's so amazing to me that animals this big still go undiscovered

I want this double dildo reptile as a pet. Too bad it's so endangered :(
 

Sill4

Member
Amir0x said:
it's so amazing to me that animals this big still go undiscovered

I want this double dildo reptile as a pet. Too bad it's so endangered :(
What's fucked up,s they were known about....but only as snacks for the locals.

Makes me wonder what other species have been exterminated in the past 20 years that we will never know about.
 
evil solrac v3.0 said:
smh@humanity, hunting them for food..... what a joke....

Manny Pacquiao's dad ate the family dog. At least eating one of these lizards woul;dn't have caused as much heartache.
 

Al-ibn Kermit

Junior Member
yeah I've heard of these double penis'/penii (wtf the plural is) before with other reptiles, they're called hemipenes as the article points out.

The thing is that they actually wouldn't be able to do two chicks at the same time because the reason that they have two plural is penis because they have to alternate each time. yeah, I'm sorry if I ruined any furry fantasies out there.
 

Monocle

Member
Tence said:
I thought that was DP...... my God... what IS DP then?????
No, you were right. I was just thinking that he could use the same entrance, as it were, and, well...

I am sitting at my desk. I am discussing dual lizard peins on the NeoGAF. What is the world coming to!?
 

xMk2x

Banned
Tence said:
That sounds about right!

Do we have any furries and/or scalies on Gaf? We could ask them?
There is/was one. He is/was into dragons and shit. Wait, a quick search brings up this guy. In that thread I found the name of the guy I was initially thinking of, Kaijima. By the sounds of things there are a couple dragon guys on here.

Also, from just reading the thread title I was picturing an upright lizard with two giant penises as arms.

Finally, someone mentioned Bad Dragon in the other thread I just linked to. :( I've gotta see a man about a Wallaby. ;(
 

CassSept

Member
Amir0x said:
it's so amazing to me that animals this big still go undiscovered
Especially if it's of such size. It may not be huge, but a two-meters long reptiles wouldn't seem that hard to spot. Too bad it's endangered, I hope they can be saved from extinction.
 

Tarazet

Member
Al-ibn Kermit said:
yeah I've heard of these double penis'/penii (wtf the plural is) before with other reptiles, they're called hemipenes as the article points out.

The thing is that they actually wouldn't be able to do two chicks at the same time because the reason that they have two plural is penis because they have to alternate each time. yeah, I'm sorry if I ruined any furry fantasies out there.

This man is correct. Hemipenes are common for reptiles (but not alligators or crocodilians). They both work, so there's no reason why they couldn't be used at the same time, I suppose!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemipenis
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom