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Dinosaurs attacked Noah's Ark (during an epic Angel battle)
- Thread starter Mengy
- Start date
- Status
Where is this from?
History of the World: Part 1
I was thinking that. His dinosaur story shares similarities to this also. I thought he was influenced by those stories, but he seems to strangely contradict them.
as you said, there are stories of the fallen angels who not only defiled humans, but the animals also. They begot giants and monsters through unnatural acts. I don't know why he doesn't use that. Not that it would necessarily give it more credence, but it would be at least more theologically consistent.
http://www.gnosis.org/library/dss/dss_book_of_giants.htm
katsubento
Member
I've never been more excited to see a movie that isn't real than I am right now. Hollywood make this please.
SolidusDave
Member
I have to agree here.
This makes me think he's really just trolling.
Unknown One
Member
I haven't subscribed to a thread in a while. Great stuff hahahahah
thesoapster
Member
Hahaha I hadn't heard that one growing up.
Santerestil
Banned
It's just my imagination, or he's really implying that pigmies and dwarfs are inferior to "normal" humans?
Barkley's Justice
Member
"based on a true story" lol...thread is classic.
Mengy
wishes it were bannable to say mean things about Marvel
Aw hell yeah. I'm telling you, this has summer blockbuster written all over it. As soon as I turned the page and read it to myself like ten times I knew I had stumbled onto Gold stuff!
Xal-Shoota
Member
This is all in Diablo IV.
SonicMegaDrive
Member
Was Abraham Lincoln there as well?
BruceLeeRoy
Banned
0_o this is the most amazing idea I have ever heard!
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
So, if this Jurassic Ark project ever comes out, we have a family of giant humans, leading an army of animals (are Mammoths on our side?), and helped by an army of angels, fighting an army of dinosaurs led by another army of fallen angels/demons, all this in the middle of a giant flood killing the average sized humans?
Shit's fucking awesome.
Shit's fucking awesome.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
SolidusDave
Member
FlyingTeacup
Member
All is awesome. But so far, it is lacking aliens.
Mengy
wishes it were bannable to say mean things about Marvel
Okay, this morning I had a chance to take a few quick pics of some of the book's highlights. It's 60 pages long, so this is only a sample of the glory that is contained within. Click the pics to see the full size versions.
Here is my copy of the book, published in 1997:
Here are the pages talking about the dinosaurs attacking the Ark during the Flood:
Here he is illustrating how true science has proven that evolution is a lie, based on the dust thickness on the moon and the size of our sun:
Here he proves how the Bible does indeed talk about dinosaurs:
Here he reasons out how True Christians have been hoodwinked, including the Pope, because scientists are just deceivers who want to make us think that God is a liar:
And this is the last page where he pleads with us to spread the word of how creation scientists have proven that the Bible is factual evidence that disproves evolution:
For as crazy as the book is, I freaking love it. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading it, it's made me laugh out loud at some of it's pages, and I plan on keeping this little treasure for the rest of my life. It's ironic how for my gf the book takes on an entirely different meaning and context than it does for me.
Although, truthfully, even she wonders about where the whole dinosaur / angel battle around the Ark came from. She finds it less humorous and awesome than I do though...
Here is my copy of the book, published in 1997:
Here are the pages talking about the dinosaurs attacking the Ark during the Flood:
Here he is illustrating how true science has proven that evolution is a lie, based on the dust thickness on the moon and the size of our sun:
Here he proves how the Bible does indeed talk about dinosaurs:
Here he reasons out how True Christians have been hoodwinked, including the Pope, because scientists are just deceivers who want to make us think that God is a liar:
And this is the last page where he pleads with us to spread the word of how creation scientists have proven that the Bible is factual evidence that disproves evolution:
For as crazy as the book is, I freaking love it. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading it, it's made me laugh out loud at some of it's pages, and I plan on keeping this little treasure for the rest of my life. It's ironic how for my gf the book takes on an entirely different meaning and context than it does for me.
Although, truthfully, even she wonders about where the whole dinosaur / angel battle around the Ark came from. She finds it less humorous and awesome than I do though...
hydragonwarrior
Member
Yes, and he will be played by AHNOLD SHWARTZENEGGER!
EmCeeGramr
Member
If you're trying to debate that mankind was formed out of clay in 7 days 6,000 years ago, then your best OPTION is to KEEP SHOUTING, LOUDER and LOUDER, UNTIL YOU'RE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS!!!
PhoenixSFT
Member
Why is the "Scientist" dressed like 60-year-old Charlie Brown?
Nameless
Member
I happen to be in possession of a forbidden scroll. This scroll is very very old and very very wise. This scroll tells the story of how at God's behest, the Angels, to create their wings, robbed the dinosaurs of their feathers. The Dinosaurs weren't thrilled by this as you might imagine. Given the size of the average dino-brain they weren't very anything, emotionally, except now pissed off at the Angels and the God who sent them. Before "The Extraction"(as it was often referred to in reptilian circles) The Dinosaurs were peaceful feathered vegan creatures, most of their limited brain power dedicated to simply frolicking the Earth. After The Extraction that all changed. Out of their featherless rage grew razor sharp teeth, claws, & fiery temperaments. Violence, cannibalism, wrath and as a result suffering now existed in place where they were previously foreign. Satan, lone rebel against The Kingdom of Heaven finally had an ally. He introduced the Dinosaurs to the dark forces of evolution and through it the Dinos became more efficient and adaptive. More dangerous. With Satan harnessing their raw savagery the Dinosaurs were unstoppable.
Angel casualties were great... each angelic death filled God with incomprehensible sorrow & remorse. These were, of course, God's first and favorite creations. Vowing an Angel would never again lose its life, God pulled them from the battlefield and, rather hastily, created Humanity to inherit His war against the Dinosaurs. While Humans shared much of their godly aesthetic with the Angels, they were given none of the power. God had hoped instead we would overwhelm the Dinosaurs with sheer volume, similar to how locusts fall upon fields of vegetation. This only lead to more dead bodies. More dead bodies than ever before. So many dead bodies. Call it cowardice, call it knowing when you're fucked, but Man went into hiding, seeking caves for refuge. Nothing now stood in the way of this Devilish Dinosaur Hoard's dominion over the Earth...or so it seemed.
Noah had no way of knowing the magnitude or ramifications of his task and he wasn't really concerned with them; the Almighty had commanded him to construct an Ark and he would do so to the best of his abilities. It was only months later, as the seas were swallowing the Earth, that Noah wondered if his faith would have remained steadfast & unquestioning were he aware of God's plan to destroy the Dinosaurs by destroying mostly everything, from the beginning. He couldn't know for sure. By the time the waters had receded any & all physical trace of the Dinosaurs had disappeared-- hidden deep beneath the Earth. Any mention of them in His Holy texts were prohibited with no exception-- the Dinosaurs' entire existence literally and figuratively...buried.
Angel casualties were great... each angelic death filled God with incomprehensible sorrow & remorse. These were, of course, God's first and favorite creations. Vowing an Angel would never again lose its life, God pulled them from the battlefield and, rather hastily, created Humanity to inherit His war against the Dinosaurs. While Humans shared much of their godly aesthetic with the Angels, they were given none of the power. God had hoped instead we would overwhelm the Dinosaurs with sheer volume, similar to how locusts fall upon fields of vegetation. This only lead to more dead bodies. More dead bodies than ever before. So many dead bodies. Call it cowardice, call it knowing when you're fucked, but Man went into hiding, seeking caves for refuge. Nothing now stood in the way of this Devilish Dinosaur Hoard's dominion over the Earth...or so it seemed.
Noah had no way of knowing the magnitude or ramifications of his task and he wasn't really concerned with them; the Almighty had commanded him to construct an Ark and he would do so to the best of his abilities. It was only months later, as the seas were swallowing the Earth, that Noah wondered if his faith would have remained steadfast & unquestioning were he aware of God's plan to destroy the Dinosaurs by destroying mostly everything, from the beginning. He couldn't know for sure. By the time the waters had receded any & all physical trace of the Dinosaurs had disappeared-- hidden deep beneath the Earth. Any mention of them in His Holy texts were prohibited with no exception-- the Dinosaurs' entire existence literally and figuratively...buried.
Captain Tuttle
Member
So this is what happened to Charlie Brown when he grew up? And he kept his sweater?Okay, this morning I had a chance to take a few quick pics of some of the book's highlights. It's 60 pages long, so this is only a sample of the glory that is contained within. Click the pics to see the full size versions.
Here is my copy of the book, published in 1997:
Here he proves how the Bible does indeed talk about dinosaurs:
Here he reasons out how True Christians have been hoodwinked, including the Pope, because scientists are just deceivers who want to make us think that God is a liar:
And this is the last page where he pleads with us to spread the word of how creation scientists have proven that the Bible is factual evidence that disproves evolution:
For as crazy as the book is, I freaking love it. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading it, it's made me laugh out loud at some of it's pages, and I plan on keeping this little treasure for the rest of my life. It's ironic how for my gf the book takes on an entirely different meaning and context than it does for me.
Although, truthfully, even she wonders about where the whole dinosaur / angel battle around the Ark came from. She finds it less humorous and awesome than I do though...
Who knew?
Edit: Beaten!
Author is definitely not a troll. As I said before, I went to a very fundamentalist Christian school for most of my life. We were taught all the same bullshit (except for the mega-battle between dinosaurs and the Arc). The moon dust, the sun, the fact that everything in the Bible must be literally true or it's all a lie, etc. Standard operating procedure at this point.
We need to make this happen.
I do visual effects.
Oatmeal does Editing...
Sounds like we have a good writer...
We need camera/sound/sets..etc.
Boss Doggie
all my loli wolf companions are so moe
This is why I always look up on the person's religion before dating that person, but it sure did some nice results
Holy shit at the comics hahahahaha!
Holy shit at the comics hahahahaha!
We need to make this happen.
I do visual effects.
Oatmeal does Editing...
Sounds like we have a good writer...
We need camera/sound/sets..etc.
I can score it.
Piercedveil
Member
The images are so awesome lol. I would watch this movie!
Powdered Toastman
Member
None of these dinosaurs drawn seem to have any feathers... I call fake!
BlackGoku03
Member
I love how on GAF:
Christian = Creationalist
and
Atheist = Science
No possible way there's a gray area.
Christian = Creationalist
and
Atheist = Science
No possible way there's a gray area.
This is going straight into my special Amazon wishlist for comedy gift books to give to my highly educated literary/feminist/atheist friends, along with "The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas", "How to Cook with Sperm" and "How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?"
bggrthnjsus
Member
i just bought this book on amazon
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