brief background, and i'll try to avoid being too livejournal:
i'm an only child and moved from england with both of my parents to australia at 8 y/o. consequently, i grew up with almost zero other family.
i'm now about to turn 30 and have had a terrible relationship with my father since i was a teenager. the last legitimate conversation i had with him was about a decade ago, and we speak for about thirty seconds when we see each other 2-3 times a year.
my father has always been a very insecure, aggressive, and controlling man: he was not particularly physically violent, but the psychological abuse was fairly significant. with the exception of grades, he never showed any particular interest in me as a kid (e.g. by attending one of my basketball games or something), and would typically spend most of his time outside gardening which i believe remains his one sole hobby. i vaguely remember playing soccer with him when i still lived in england, but that's about my only positive childhood memory of him.
sadly my mother had a number of serious health issues growing up, and seeing her live under his thumb always made me resent him further. conversely, i have always been very close with her and despite my parents' sometimes turbulent ups and downs, their relationship seemingly improved in the last 5ish years and they remain married. this unfortunately causes issues some obvious for her, because the tension between me and him is very obvious to anyone. uncomfortable and awkward silences are common.
TLDR - maybe i'm having a quarter-life crisis since i'm torn between trying to make an effort to reconnect, or just letting sleeping dogs lie entirely. people having a shitty relationship with their parent/s is somewhat common, but i'm curious if anyone has ever salvaged a relationship with their mother/father/guardian they thought was too far gone?
i'm an only child and moved from england with both of my parents to australia at 8 y/o. consequently, i grew up with almost zero other family.
i'm now about to turn 30 and have had a terrible relationship with my father since i was a teenager. the last legitimate conversation i had with him was about a decade ago, and we speak for about thirty seconds when we see each other 2-3 times a year.
my father has always been a very insecure, aggressive, and controlling man: he was not particularly physically violent, but the psychological abuse was fairly significant. with the exception of grades, he never showed any particular interest in me as a kid (e.g. by attending one of my basketball games or something), and would typically spend most of his time outside gardening which i believe remains his one sole hobby. i vaguely remember playing soccer with him when i still lived in england, but that's about my only positive childhood memory of him.
sadly my mother had a number of serious health issues growing up, and seeing her live under his thumb always made me resent him further. conversely, i have always been very close with her and despite my parents' sometimes turbulent ups and downs, their relationship seemingly improved in the last 5ish years and they remain married. this unfortunately causes issues some obvious for her, because the tension between me and him is very obvious to anyone. uncomfortable and awkward silences are common.
TLDR - maybe i'm having a quarter-life crisis since i'm torn between trying to make an effort to reconnect, or just letting sleeping dogs lie entirely. people having a shitty relationship with their parent/s is somewhat common, but i'm curious if anyone has ever salvaged a relationship with their mother/father/guardian they thought was too far gone?