BigEvilTurtle
Banned
Sure. Change it if it doesn't mean much in terms of your heritage anymore. Gruber is.. pretty bad. Just please change it to something that sounds awesome.
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Couples inventing a new last name when getting married...
- Thread starter Cagey
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FelixOrion
Poet Centuriate
This tradition of naming (patronymic) is not rescricted to iceland either. The son, sen, dotter are traditionally nordic iirc. Like Lief Erickson, son of Erick the red, right?
SquiddyCracker
Banned
The neat thing is that you can even follow the matronymic convention if you so wish (e.g, taking your mother's name, and then adding son/dottir).
My partner and I have been married for a few years, but we still discuss this. She does not want to take my last name, and I am 100% okay with this. I don't give a shit. I'd take her last name (since it is really cool looking) but she doesn't particularly want to keep that name either. We've discussed a portmanteau or making up something new. We're not having children, so I couldn't really care less about family lineage or anything.
ZeroGravity
Member
It's a pretty bad idea. Not at bad as people who fucking hyphenate their names together, but still, it's bad.
I'd never change my last name, for any reason (and I don't even particularly like my last name - but it's still my name).
I'd never change my last name, for any reason (and I don't even particularly like my last name - but it's still my name).
True Underdog
Member
Grübèr
-ImaginaryInsider
Member
If we also take into account people's terrible choices in baby names...
Future Ancestry.com entry:
- John Smith
- Ellen Smith
- Robert Smith
- Rebecca Smith
- Hemi Discostick
- Bacardi Discostick
- Adamantium Bazinga
- TeamJacob Bazinga
Future Ancestry.com entry:
- John Smith
- Ellen Smith
- Robert Smith
- Rebecca Smith
- Hemi Discostick
- Bacardi Discostick
- Adamantium Bazinga
- TeamJacob Bazinga
Fuck hyphenation. Portmanteaus are the kind of contrived shit I don't like. I don't think I'm changing my last name. I don't like my last name, but I don't want or think I should change it. I'll give her the option to do whatever.
My hangup is that I know my dislike of changing my last name is something I can't rationally explain (it's just "I'm the male" stuff), and that lack of logic irks me.
My hangup is that I know my dislike of changing my last name is something I can't rationally explain (it's just "I'm the male" stuff), and that lack of logic irks me.
GraveHorizon
poop meter feature creep
Change your last name to Spider-Man.
EDIT: Spidermanbazooper.
EDIT: Spidermanbazooper.
slightconfuse
Banned
McMahon-Hemsley
Bury all other families
Bury all other families
You Are Viewtiful
Member
You know what to do OP
I have my dad's last name, and I am going to change that ASAP when I get married (also because it's common as all hell and makes people think that I am Mexican). The current GF is alright with that idea and said that we should just make up something wacky, like Sir. She might be the one.
TOP SHOTTA
Member
That is too grand a question for me to answer here. Just be traditional with the name thing for fuck sake. I speak as the man, by the way if it wasn't clear. My advice is to do what has been done for hundreds of years. You get married, you take the guys' name. If she doesn't like that then don't fucking get married. That may seem traditional but that is how I am, and how I was rasied. My name isn't the coolest either but she had to deal with it and said she liked the name, just like I told her she didn't look fat even when she did on occasion.
We lie sometimes to get along. We have to suck it up sometimes and do what we don't want to. Like not being able to have sex with anyone else. Tell her that. If she doesn't like your name just tell her you don't like that you won't be able to sleep with your college girlfriend and you don't like that but you are going to comply.
Have her change her name because the processes are in place to do it, and the processes are in place to undo it for a woman. Women do that all the time, there is a specific line for it at many DMV's. Then the kids keep your name, allowing names & generations to flow normally (in terms of the family tree continuity). Changing both of your names to some made up name or hyphenated bullshit is so new age it will make people around you want to slap you two in the face. Face slapping is a common knee jerk reaction to stuff like that and.... psst.. women with hyphenated names... everyone secretly hates that too but don't tell anyone.
Plus starting off like that - shit you might as well cut your balls off, put them in a jar and put the jar on her desk. I say that as a guy who's ex wife did that by other means (lying, money fights, and lots of other stuff) and I am still trying to figure out what to do with my balls now that I have them back. And I BARELY have them back.
I have SO much advice to anyone getting married, going through trouble, or even getting divorced. My one attempt at marriage has failed. It sucks that I now know what it would have taken to fix things, but it would have taken like 5 years of rewinding, re-living and general hindsight to make it work. The earliest mistake I made was giving her too much control. Her mistake was taking it and getting greedy with power. Do the math.
EDIT: There is absolutely nothing wrong with the name Gruber.
Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.
I have an idea. Stop ring shopping. Tell her you thought about it, and you considered your options if you're not going to be traditional, and you decided that if you weren't going to go full-traditional then rings don't seem necessary.
I think a lot of us guys know what you mean though. I wouldn't change my last name.
My parents separated when I was young.
Didn't maintain a relationship with dad and couldn't justify asking my wife to take that last name when even I didn't feel a connection to it.
So I asked mom if she would be ok with me taking her maiden name.
She was ok and honored.
Wife and I took that name. One of the best choices I've made.
Didn't maintain a relationship with dad and couldn't justify asking my wife to take that last name when even I didn't feel a connection to it.
So I asked mom if she would be ok with me taking her maiden name.
She was ok and honored.
Wife and I took that name. One of the best choices I've made.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
It's just a really widespread tradition. If the tradition was that men took the last names of their wives to be then you'd probably feel wrong about not taking her name.
There's nothing wrong with following tradition when it is harmless, nor is it anything wrong with not following it as it is indeed a harmless and pointless tradition.
change it... who cares, it's only a form of identification and you and your wife should feel good about it... and your *potential* children will appreciate it too
Although I usually don't care to conform just to get along with others in this case to me..it's like clock time...
it is a man made construct as is a name and we decide how to identify with it, it does not define us.
Although I usually don't care to conform just to get along with others in this case to me..it's like clock time...
it is a man made construct as is a name and we decide how to identify with it, it does not define us.
EYEL1NER
Member
I think Gruber is a fine last name.
If my wife wanted to keep her last name, I wouldn't have cared. If I had a good reason to change my last name, I wouldn't do it. But something about "Baby, I want us to have the same last name, but your last name sucks" wouldn't sit well with me.
I think my wife dropped her second middle name (her mother's maiden name), moved her father's last name to that spot, and threw mine in at the end. I don't know though, that might have been her middle name and she had two first names, not sure. She has 4 parts to her name though.
If my wife wanted to keep her last name, I wouldn't have cared. If I had a good reason to change my last name, I wouldn't do it. But something about "Baby, I want us to have the same last name, but your last name sucks" wouldn't sit well with me.
I think my wife dropped her second middle name (her mother's maiden name), moved her father's last name to that spot, and threw mine in at the end. I don't know though, that might have been her middle name and she had two first names, not sure. She has 4 parts to her name though.
Why? Seems like a perfectly reasonable concern to me.
Gotta be thankful that our country doesn't need last-name changes. Some people (rich people still do this) used to do something like this:
Name of the spouses:
Juan Perez Lopez.
Maria Rodriguez Sanchez.
New name of the wife, María Rodriguez Sanchez de (of) Perez. Apparently some women found offensive using the "of" prefix because of "we don't belong to men" and whatnot. I totally didn't know that you could pick a "new last name" though, there are some horrible Spanish last names that would be great with changing, I suppose. Gruber, on the other hand, isn't that bad.
I would have been named Armandonsson. Huh.
Name of the spouses:
Juan Perez Lopez.
Maria Rodriguez Sanchez.
New name of the wife, María Rodriguez Sanchez de (of) Perez. Apparently some women found offensive using the "of" prefix because of "we don't belong to men" and whatnot. I totally didn't know that you could pick a "new last name" though, there are some horrible Spanish last names that would be great with changing, I suppose. Gruber, on the other hand, isn't that bad.
That is interesting indeed. Now I understand Icelandic names better.
I would have been named Armandonsson. Huh.How horrifying.
LOL
Devolution
Member
Gonna change ours to "And the Revolution."
God forbid you are mistaken for a Mexican.
triplestation
Member
grunkreeptruck
andthebeatgoeson
Junior Member
Gruber? Really? Not even like some weird Polish concoction with 14 z's?
PetriP-TNT
Member
I can't judge and would totally do this if I had no care about my family name/history. However, I have great pride in my name, my history and all that. I take pride in passing that to my children so I won't change my name in this lifetime.
But if I changed it, perhaps the last name of Cock might be fun.
But if I changed it, perhaps the last name of Cock might be fun.
you took my post
If his name was Hitler or Michael Bolton, I would understand. Gruber is fine.
Dr.Palutena
Member
Really? You must live a very sheltered life then .
vas_a_morir
Banned
I own Quest 64. Shall it forever remain forgotten.
Intentional omission of Die Hard 2? Good man.
vas_a_morir
Banned
I got to thinking: is my name unusual and ethnic enough to work for NPR? Seems like everybody's name you hear on NPR is like "I'm Jakkum Qwulplowin with NPR" or "I'm Bu Kowndaggle." If I applied to work for NPR, I would change my name to something like "Pullosklomp Nurrkliou"
My last name is boring and paints me as Hispanic/Japanese which I don't really want since I don't even look like either.
My boyfriend's is some odd German last name he doesn't care for.
We're both going to choose a different name, most likely from other people in our family tree to kind of keep it in one family at least.
My boyfriend's is some odd German last name he doesn't care for.
We're both going to choose a different name, most likely from other people in our family tree to kind of keep it in one family at least.
freenudemacusers
Member
We did this. Well, technically it was an old family name in her side, but w/e. Before the bro brigade comes in and calls me pussified or something a) my biological father abandoned me at 4, and b) my stepfather was physically and emotionally abusive to myself and my mother. So why would I keep either of those? Just because?
Beyond this, legally, it's no different than changing a name. You probably cannot do it officially at the wedding, since most states have it set up for the wife to assume the husband's name, or the reverse, or a hyphenation. But really, it's not a huge legal issue, potential family drama aside.
Beyond this, legally, it's no different than changing a name. You probably cannot do it officially at the wedding, since most states have it set up for the wife to assume the husband's name, or the reverse, or a hyphenation. But really, it's not a huge legal issue, potential family drama aside.
Winterfang
Banned
Yo can do that? Oh my God. Yes!!! My family is full of murderers, dealers and thugs so I'll love to get rid of that last name forever.
I don't see why this would be an issue AT ALL.
Making your own lineage is perfectly viable option if your family's lineage is of no importance to you.
I mean ultimately almost all family names came from somebody creating their own new lineage line. Or do people here think all our current names have been in existence since forever?
To help with this you can slightly change your existing name, use a landmark, your fathers name with a add-on, your profession (here in holland there's alot of people with the surname Bakker, or Baker in English).
I guess Willemson would be a good alternative for myself since I'm not particularly fond of my own surname. We'll see where it ends. With my previous girlfriend I would have had no trouble taking on her surname (Lawrence) at all.
//edit//
I also don't think Gruber is that bad at all. Really nothing at all compared to my own surname.
Making your own lineage is perfectly viable option if your family's lineage is of no importance to you.
I mean ultimately almost all family names came from somebody creating their own new lineage line. Or do people here think all our current names have been in existence since forever?
To help with this you can slightly change your existing name, use a landmark, your fathers name with a add-on, your profession (here in holland there's alot of people with the surname Bakker, or Baker in English).
I guess Willemson would be a good alternative for myself since I'm not particularly fond of my own surname. We'll see where it ends. With my previous girlfriend I would have had no trouble taking on her surname (Lawrence) at all.
//edit//
I also don't think Gruber is that bad at all. Really nothing at all compared to my own surname.
FunkyPajamas
Member
There was no Gruber in Die Hard 2, I think that's why it was omitted.
I wouldn't do it,. You are better off keeping your name, have your wife keep her name and give both your surnames to your kids. Unless you are ashamed of your roots or want to make it a pain for your ancestors to trace their lineage, I don't see why you'd do this.
But if you do pick a new last name, make sure it's awesome.
But if you do pick a new last name, make sure it's awesome.
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