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American Parenting is governed by fear and it's ruining our children

L

low-G

Member
If you live anywhere other than a town population 300-10,000 it's literally impossible for kids to walk home from school in most cases.

The city I live in now isn't even large and the school she would go to is ~5 miles away and it's mostly highway. No sidewalks most areas.

So, all this is a non-starter.

When I was a kid we lived in a small town and I did walk home from school...
 
F

Frozenprince

Banned
I ran into a corner shop to grab milk and left ky toddler at the time in the car with the engine running. It was 65 degrees outside.

I come out 45 seconds later to a woman calling the police on me.

My kid learns by doing. If he falls he falls if he fails he fails. I allow him to be himself and encourage him to do what comes to mind as most natural and explore new avenues and experiences. But good god some of the parents out there. Not only are they hovering to a ridiculous degree, but they hover by proxy over other people's children.
 
D

daxy

Member
WraithBringer said:
Perhaps I didn't stress how much more common these events are becoming. Children weren't safe at the Arianna Grande concert. There's a lot of people who worry for the welfare and safety of their children more than ever.

I'd like to clarify that isn't purposefully being used distastefully as an example but given a child from my town died in that concert, it's shocking to think just how unsafe places have become that are supposed to be safe.
Click to expand...

It's not that these events have become more common, it's that reports of such events have proliferated through the 24 hours news cycle and the democratization of reportage through social media. It's an illusion. Western society is safer than it ever has been.
 
M

Ms.Galaxy

Member
PantherLotus said:
Can you fucking imagine letting a 9 year old little girl walk home by herself every day?
Click to expand...

I mean, I walked home from school everyday since 1999 (at 6-7 years old). My mother didn't seem to be worried or paranoid at all. She trusted me enough to know that I shouldn't accept anything from strangers and to be in crowded streets. Hell, by the time I was 13, she already trusted me to walk around in the dark.
 
S

superdeluxe

Member
I love the comparison between Netherlands and the United States. I'm guessing those kids in the Netherlands have sidewalks. We have no sidewalks here.
 
Sunster

Sunster

Member
Hari Seldon said:
I completely agree. The lack of community anymore is a big factor in this. If you don't know any of your neighbors, you don't know if you can trust them.
Click to expand...

Did America ever have this? I can't think of a time. Apart from close knit minority communities.
 
Hari Seldon

Hari Seldon

Member
I also blame 24/7 news coverage causing the majority of the fear. Growing up in the 80s, I had extreme freedom. When I watch shit like Stranger Things, how the kids were just completely mobile on bikes in the suburbs, no helmets at all, that is exactly how I grew up. I was buying cigs for my grandpap at the corner store at 10 years old lol. Everyone I knew was like this. The big change happened right when CNN hit, first Iraq War. Everyone was glued to these outlier shock news events and people naturally became fearful.
 
P

Poor GRIMES

Banned
Ms.Galaxy said:
I mean, I walked home from school everyday since 1999 (at 6-7 years old). My mother didn't seem to be worried or paranoid at all. She trusted me enough to know that I shouldn't accept anything from strangers and to be in crowded streets. Hell, by the time I was 13, she already trusted me to walk around in the dark.
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Fudgepuppy said:
We can't allow 15 year olds to be out alone?

I walked home from school every day, and so did all of my friends. I'm born 91, and lived in a pretty well populated suburb. Did this from age 6 and up.
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Are you men? 🤔
 
T

TheLostBigBoss

Banned
WraithBringer said:
Perhaps I didn't stress how much more common these events are becoming. Children weren't safe at the Arianna Grande concert. There's a lot of people who worry for the welfare and safety of their children more than ever.

I'd like to clarify that isn't purposefully being used distastefully as an example but given a child from my town died in that concert, it's shocking to think just how unsafe places have become that are supposed to be safe.
Click to expand...

Do you have actual data showing a spike in children violence, or are you just literally basing your fear because you watch the news every night and think death and deatruction is right around the corner.

Because people can feel what ever they want, doesnt mean those feelings are based on anything factual
 
K

Ketch

Member
RangerX said:
It certainly wouldn't happen in my country. I often see kids aged 6 and up walking home from school. It's completely normal and certainly wouldn't get you reported.
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muu said:
In Oregon it's considered Neglect if your kid is 11 or under. I believe similar laws exist elsewhere. There's several of these types of stories, here's a case of supposed neglect where a 10yrold and 6yrold walked home w/o their parents.

I do believe helicoptering is excessive these days but the law sure doesn't help to strike a compromise.
Click to expand...


I'm actually from Oregon and could have easily been reported. I didn't know the age was 11 and believe my daughter is basically mature enough to walk on her own. The state doesn't agree though.
 
M

Meowster

Member
muu said:
In Oregon it's considered Neglect if your kid is 11 or under. I believe similar laws exist elsewhere. There's several of these types of stories, here's a case of supposed neglect where a 10yrold and 6yrold walked home w/o their parents.

I do believe helicoptering is excessive these days but the law sure doesn't help to strike a compromise.
Click to expand...
Wow. I didn't know laws like this existed - my sister used to walk me to my elementary school when I was very little and we were around the same age as the children in that article. Not even that long ago since I'm 22.
 
B

benicillin

Banned
Hari Seldon said:
I also blame 24/7 news coverage causing the majority of the fear. Growing up in the 80s, I had extreme freedom. When I watch shit like Stranger Things, how the kids were just completely mobile on bikes in the suburbs, no helmets at all, that is exactly how I grew up. I was buying cigs for my grandpap at the corner store at 10 years old lol. Everyone I knew was like this. The big change happened right when CNN hit, first Iraq War. Everyone was glued to these outlier shock news events and people naturally became fearful.
Click to expand...

You are definitely onto something here. The 24 hour news cycle and their motto of "if it bleeds it leads" make the world seem a lot more dangerous than it is.
 
G

Glix

Member
WraithBringer said:
Perhaps I didn't stress how much more common these events are becoming. Children weren't safe at the Arianna Grande concert. There's a lot of people who worry for the welfare and safety of their children more than ever.

I'd like to clarify that isn't purposefully being used distastefully as an example but given a child from my town died in that concert, it's shocking to think just how unsafe places have become that are supposed to be safe.
Click to expand...

The concert has nothing to do with this. Children were just as unsafe supervised as they were unsupervised there.

So we just shouldn't let children out of the house ever? Because something might happen?

One thing I didn't see addressed is the guilt. Parents I know are overprotective because even if the chance is .01% of something bad happening when the kid walks home... if it does, they will still blame themselves and their lives will never be the same.

All that being said, starting when I was 9 I would walk/bike home from school every day. Around 1989. And I'm better for it.
 
X

Xando

Member
Hari Seldon said:
I also blame 24/7 news coverage causing the majority of the fear. Growing up in the 80s, I had extreme freedom. When I watch shit like Stranger Things, how the kids were just completely mobile on bikes in the suburbs, no helmets at all, that is exactly how I grew up. I was buying cigs for my grandpap at the corner store at 10 years old lol. Everyone I knew was like this. The big change happened right when CNN hit, first Iraq War. Everyone was glued to these outlier shock news events and people naturally became fearful.
Click to expand...

I agree. People gotten overly paranoid (not only with their kids but in general) thanks to the insane 24/7 fear mongering in TV
 
M

mrklaw

MrArseFace
PantherLotus said:
Can you fucking imagine letting a 9 year old little girl walk home by herself every day?

That's just one example of this boomer finding yet another reason to blame gen x and younger parents for fucking everything.
Click to expand...

The more 9 year olds that walk home by themselves each day, the safer it is for 9 year olds to walk home on their own. The danger comes when they're the only one walking alone, or ironically from increased traffic from all the parents driving their kids to and from school
 
A

AntraxSuicide

Banned
TheLostBigBoss said:
So one horrible thing happens and everyone freaks out?

One incident doesnt mean kids arent safe.
Click to expand...

Yeah but it's risk/reward for people. You see parents on the news one time who lose a kid to something preventable and it fucks them up for years.

Take the walking to school example: it's the risk of injury or death to the kid versus the reward of not having to drive a few extra minutes. When you frame it that way, people tune out the stats that car accidents are more common than kidnappings.
 
Z

Z3M0G

Member
Holy shit this thread... I have a 2yo girl and don't know what to think...

When I was 6, I was all over the fucking place. My mom had no clue where I was.

Now don't get me wrong... I grew up in the sticks... I live in a nice suburb in a small city now, so things might be different. But I see kids on my street running around playing together all the time. And I want that for my own child when she is a few years older.
 
B

BioHazard

Member
Guarantee there's a significant overlap between the people saying "of course I would let my infant walk home from school unaccompanied! Stop being so scared!" and those that comment on news stories of abductions, etc. "Where were the parents? How could they be so negligent, they should be arrested!"
 
F

Frozenprince

Banned
Z3M0G said:
Holy shit this thread... I have a 2yo girl and don't know what to think...

When I was 6, I was all over the fucking place. My mom had no clue where I was.

Now don't get me wrong... I grew up in the sticks... I live in a nice suburb in a small city now, so things might be different. But I see kids on my street running around playing together all the time. And I want that for my own child when she is a few years older.
Click to expand...

Your child will be fine. Teach her to be safe and be smart and trust that your parenting sticks.
 
T

TheLostBigBoss

Banned
AntraxSuicide said:
Yeah but it's risk/reward for people. You see parents on the news one time who lose a kid to something preventable and it fucks them up for years.

Take the walking to school example: it's the risk of injury or death to the kid versus the reward of not having to drive a few extra minutes. When you frame it that way, people tune out the stats that car accidents are more common than kidnappings.
Click to expand...

Yes, thats the entire point of this debate. Sheltering kids to extremes over statistically unlikely events for the sale of parents own feelings and extreme parinoia.
 
G

greepoman

Member
I've heard this complaint since the 90s and is there anything besides anecdotal evidence? Because this article is just more of that.

Are these childen really doing poorly compared to others? Seems like society has been doing fine ever since these kids have grown up and joined the workforce. And this is statistics wise not outrageous news headlines-wise.
 
Duxxy3

Duxxy3

Member
muu said:
In Oregon it's considered Neglect if your kid is 11 or under. I believe similar laws exist elsewhere. There's several of these types of stories, here's a case of supposed neglect where a 10yrold and 6yrold walked home w/o their parents.

I do believe helicoptering is excessive these days but the law sure doesn't help to strike a compromise.
Click to expand...

Good grief...

Parents really aren't even allowed to raise their own kids.

I'm just glad I grew up before all of this changed.
 
D

DonShula

Member
Suburban sprawl is as much to blame for this as America's culture of fear. I grew up ten minutes walking time from my elementary school and walked there. My kids live several miles from their school and the sidewalk ends at the entrance to the housing addition. It's simply not possible for a lot of kids to have this freedom anymore, regardless of whether the parents want them to have it. I have to get everybody into the car to go to a damn park. Same if we want to bike further than our own subdivision. My fault for moving there (truly) but so many things are different now.
 
Hari Seldon

Hari Seldon

Member
Sunster said:
Did America ever have this? I can't think of a time. Apart from close knit minority communities.
Click to expand...

Yeah I think so, back when people got a job and expected to retire at the same company. Moving around much back then wasn't as common I wouldn't think.
 
S

Snowman Prophet of Doom

Member
I can absolutely imagine a 9 year old walking home by herself, wtf? We live in literally the safest society ever created by humans, a kid walking home from school by themselves is fine, assuming they are of average mental competence and not living in an unsafe area.
 
F

Ferrio

Banned
BioHazard said:
Guarantee there's a significant overlap between the people saying "of course I would let my infant walk home from school unaccompanied! Stop being so scared!" and those that comment on news stories of abductions, etc. "Where were the parents? How could they be so negligent, they should be arrested!"
Click to expand...

Well prove it then, otherwise stop making baseless assumptions.
 
J

Jeronimo Jones

Member
Distance, neighborhood, and age of child, should all be factored in. I'm not going to say that I'd be willing to let a 9 year old walk to and from school at this point when I don't even have a kid or know those factors.

The US is geographically diverse, even in the small town where I grew up, our house was on a highway with no sidewalks or side streets and miles from every school I ever attended as a kid. Some people lived even farther out, some lived much closer.
 
T

Tertullian

Member
BioHazard said:
Guarantee there's a significant overlap between the people saying "of course I would let my infant walk home from school unaccompanied! Stop being so scared!" and those that comment on news stories of abductions, etc. "Where were the parents? How could they be so negligent, they should be arrested!"
Click to expand...

Someone scroll through the post histories of the people saying "Of course this article is right! Filthy American helicopter parents!" Bet you can find at least one who was like "where were the parents when that kid got into that gorilla enclosure! How dare they take their eyes of a single one of their children for literally 10 seconds! Burn them at the stake!"
 
M

Ms.Galaxy

Member
Poor GRIMES said:
Okay cool. I just wanted to know because I wanted to see if the opinions would shift had the genders been swapped. I know a lot of my girlies didn't walk alone ever because of their own personal fears of being victimized
Click to expand...

To be honest, my case is different. Mom didn't have the time to walk or drive me to school. She is a single mother who immigrated to the U.S. in 1997, our family didn't help her and she spent most of the time working two jobs and going to college. She raised me as best she could under all this and she trusted me enough to walk to and from school every time.

Even after I was kidnapped and raped (that was not by a stranger but by my own mother's "boyfriend"), she still trusted me to walk home alone. The biggest change to happen after that incident was that she felt that she couldn't trust other adults in her household alone with me and trusted me to be home alone when she was away at night or at the college.
 
F

family_guy

Member
PantherLotus said:
Can you fucking imagine letting a 9 year old little girl walk home by herself every day?
Click to expand...

I was 5 and remember going to a kindergarten that was at the front of our neighborhood. My dad walked me to school the first day and that was it. I had to remember how to get back to our house.
 
T

TheLostBigBoss

Banned
Tertullian said:
Someone scroll through the post histories of the people saying "Of course this article is right! Filthy American helicopter parents!" Bet you can find at least one who was like "where were the parents when that kid got into that gorilla enclosure! How dare they take their eyes of a single one of their children for literally 10 seconds! Burn them at the stake!"
Click to expand...

There is a difference between keeping an eye on kids in a crowded place you're not familiar with and letting your kids play in local parks or walking to school.
 
J

Jenov

Member
Really just depends on the area you live in and the distances involved. Like mentioned before, if there are highways to get to school, you obviously wouldn't be able to have your child walk. But a school or a park a few blocks from home, sure thing.
 
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