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Is this what anxiety feels like?

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GaryD

Member
I've started a new job as a team leader of a group of great people in an IT role. One of the guys made an easy mistake and now we have to fix it. Really not that big a deal in the scheme of the world's problems.

This is the first time I've been formally in charge of a team and when shit hit the fan I felt like shit. I wasn't at all angry, like I said easy mistake to make, and needing to own up wasn't a big deal. But I couldn't stop feeling the pressure today, I had aweful indigestion, quick pulse and felt physically sick.

Is this anxiety and do people deal with this daily? If so I can't help but feel sorry for sufferers. How do you deal with it? I'm generally a really chill guy and do yoga but breathing made no difference.

I said to my boss I won't let my work get in the way of family so I need to be aware of this. I know this is only a one off but I feel a little freaked out.

To my team's credit we all banded together and backed each other up. I won't get too hung up on the issue but I think I will struggle to organise a response to the issue. This is somewhat new territory for me, so the nerves are expected, but I can't shake that feeling. Hopefully it drives me to come back and respond harder.

Anyone been in similar pickles; how did you work though it?
 
L

luchadork

Member
One of us! One of us! One of us!

I've had it for so long its just a part of me that I have to keep in check. Exercise, meditation, eating healthy, just accepting that sometimes you'll feel anxious and getting on with it.
 
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Zakalwe

Banned
It's like a mix of uncontrollable excitement and abject horror.

Meditation has helped me deal with it a great deal.
 
M

magnetic

Member
Ah, the vague sense of impending doom, that there's something about to go wrong but you don't know what it is or when it's going to happen.

Like a smoke alarm that gets triggered by bits of dust every couple of hours.

Meditation helped me as well, but only after discovering that style where you simply accept and allow every single sensation as it comes, neither pushing away nor grasping on to it.
 
H

HotHamBoy

Member
Anxiety for me is either an overwhelming sense of dread or the feeling that I have no desire to do anything at all, even something as simple as listening to music or watching tv. I just get paralyzed with indecision and not knowing what to do with myself.
 
N

NoblesseOblige

Banned
Realize no matter how much something f' up you'll be dead all the same had it not f' up. Then everything become blase.

I don't really have any stress related anxiety.
 
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CecilRousso

Member
GaryD said:
Anyone been in similar pickles; how did you work though it?
Click to expand...

When it comes to work situations, I just stopped caring. Not as in that I didn't do my work, or didn't work towards a solution, but rather "shit happens, so what?".

That might not help other people, but I have been a worrying person at work before, and reminding myself that shit happens and will continue to happen in IT, has both made me more efficient, and more confident.
 
S

spineduke

Unconfirmed Member
GaryD said:
This is the first time I've been formally in charge of a team and when shit hit the fan I felt like shit. I wasn't at all angry, like I said easy mistake to make, and needing to own up wasn't a big deal. But I couldn't stop feeling the pressure today, I had aweful indigestion, quick pulse and felt physically sick.
Click to expand...

Those are stress based reactions (which are often caused by anxiety) - anxiety is best described as a feeling of dread, or internal panic. A feeling of lack of control over a situation can make you anxious.

Anyone been in similar pickles; how did you work though it?
Click to expand...

I did hypnotheraphy, my ex who suffered a more extreme form of anxiety went on medication (antipyschotics), but she still had to manage her stress levels through breathing and meditation techniques. A support network (trusted friend/family) can also help if you're incapacitated.
 
C

Caramello

Member
Yep that's anxiety and yes it sucks. Hopefully for you it's a once in a while thing and not daily like mine and many others. Also it's good that you can point to a trigger, unfortunately anxiety isn't always that simple.
 
S

Stasis

Member
Yep.

Feeling it right now, for no reason, an hour before I officially wake up for work. It woke me up, in fact. People are describing it in different and accurate ways so far here. I like the examples.

It's also quite difficult to explain to people who don't have it and never have. It can be pretty crippling and paralyzing even with regards to what most would consider very normal situations and/or tasks. I absolutely despise it. Mine comes and goes. I'm normally pretty chill too, especially socially and outwardly, so when it does occur I can hide it from all but my closest friends and my girlfriend of 8 years. She heard me wake up now and knows. Today won't be easy.

Interesting timing on seeing this thread. As others are saying... diet, exercise, meditation and if necessary medical help or psychological help. I've changed my life situation a few times too. Like jobs. Good ones. That's less fun to do but mental health and family life needs to come first.
 
R

red731

Member
Yes, this is anxiety.

I needed to leave my previous work in the trial period because commuting there, my heart would be beating like it never was, my stomach shrank....

I don't want to get killed by my own body if I can ease the pressure.

Now I feel anxiety only when shit hits the fan or I must talk with my manager, above our team lead and us, coordinators.

Sweating, heart pounding, not wanting to eat, feeling nauseous and me wanting to get out without saying anything to anyone.

Life and well being comes always first.
 
G

GaryD

Member
Good tips all around thanks. People on the meditation train can anyone recommend some good books?

Acceptance is something I work hard towards but seem to miss the mark.

I have had the no care attitude before in IT but it some respect that seemed to be to my detriment. Probably as I get my head around the role more, more care factor will probably drop 😉
 
D

daviyoung

Banned
Sounds like anxiety to me. It's basically an ever-escalating cocktail of panic and adrenaline and happens to me when I'm completely lost without a solution to a problem. Can't imagine how crippling it can be in chronic sufferers.
 
M

MBR

Banned
Sounds like you handled it well. When I'm responsible for a group and someone does badly, it's really easy for me to find some way to lay the blame on myself, even when it's obvious that I could've done nothing to prevent the faults. Because I know this, it's also getting easier to stop and realise that other people's responsibilities are not mine; although being able to have someones back is a good quality to have, without at the same time putting the blame on yourself.
 
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MarkMclovin

Member
Being the leader of an IT team means you going to be put on the spot all of the time keeping services running during BAU for the client/s you work for. What can go wrong will so what you do as a manager depends on how you and your team handles it down the line.

Be proactive. Have processes in place for each type of scenario that can go wrong on a high priority case. That way, all that has to be done is follow it and a lot of pressure will be relieved.
 
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Zakalwe

Banned
GaryD said:
Good tips all around thanks. People on the meditation train can anyone recommend some good books?

Acceptance is something I work hard towards but seem to miss the mark.

I have had the no care attitude before in IT but it some respect that seemed to be to my detriment. Probably as I get my head around the role more, more care factor will probably drop 😉
Click to expand...

Not sure about books. I go to a Buddhist centre in Bethnal Green, London once a week. Not a Buddhist, but they have a free meditation session every Wed that is a life saver.

Maybe check your local area for similar.

If anyone reading suffers from this and lives in London and would like more info, please PM me. I know how crippling anxiety can be and this has helped me a great deal.
 
A

Apathy

Member
Different levels of anxiety. At one of my lowest points, I had anxiety that came over me that felt like I had a gorilla sitting on my chest and felt like the world was closing in on me. That was not fun
 
C

chicko1983

Member
happens all the time to me.

I'll have brilliant days, where I am authoritative and confident. People in the workplace will look to me.

Then I'll find something I can't complete on my own, or worry about money or health. And then I'll be a wreck who can't sleep and goes into his shell.

Just remember that as a team leader, there will be times where you think shit has hit the fan, but when you are in a team, everyone will bandy together and 99% of the time, things will work out.

Always be honest with your superiors, tell them what happened and that despite you attempting to hit the deadline, you may be a day late.

And never blame it on one individual in your team. Because if your team members find out you threw one of them under the bus, you will lose the trust of all of them.
 
K

Kthulhu

Member
The closest I've felt to feeling anxiety for a long period of time was when I took a programming class that I absolutely flunked no matter how hard I tried.

I constantly felt stressed and upset, it even started affecting my performance at work to the point where I was threatened with termination.

Thinking back on it, I really should've dropped the class, but I constantly felt like I could turn it around, even when I knew I couldn't.
 
Mohonky

Mohonky

Member
Yeh thats anxiety and I feel that every time I go out.

Hiw do I deal with it? I havent, I lost ocver a decade of my life tooo it and ita still going
 
S

SlickShoes

Member
I suffer from Anxiety as well and it's mostly the overwhelming dread type.

What you described does fit the symptoms, when I am feeling anxious I can't enjoy anything, I lose my appetite, i feel like my heart is beating out of my chest, I can't sleep properly, usually all I can do is distract myself with something.

I am going to be moving from the UK to Switzerland at some point later this year and none of that move or quitting my job is giving me anxiety, moving our pet dog though is constantly making me feel like human garbage, the process of settling him in to a new house makes me feel anxious beyond words. This is completely irrational as it's 5 months away and there is nothing at all I can do about it until it happens but trying to tell my brain that is a much more difficult thing.
 
MsKrisp

MsKrisp

Member
It sucks, but this sounds like anxiety caused by pressure at work and a new situation for you. Most likely, as you get used to things, these situations at work will cause less anxiety and stress, and in the mean time just chill out when you can get away from work and do something that takes your mind away from there. If it doesn't ease up and you job makes you consistently anxious because it's high pressure, there are a lot of techniques you can try to use to calm and soothe yourself (breathing, meditation, mental exercises, etc), as well as medication.
 
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shawnbuddy

Member
Anxiety, if it has a rational cause, is a normal human emotion. You've felt it before, I would think. I would hope. A better way to describe what happens when real outside pressures are too much and make you sick is stress. If you feel exaggerated anxiety or anxiety for no reason then maybe you have an anxiety disorder, but it sounds like in this case you were more worried about the project because you're new to your role, it caused you stress and you got sick.
 
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soxinthebox

Member
From my experience it gives me tunnel vision, can't focus on anything, heart rate goes mental and I feel crushing despair. I can recognise it's happening at the time but I have no way to snap out of it.

Not sure if that matches other people's experiences but it's happened to me on multiple occasions (usually when I've fucked up something or if I'm hungover).
 
S

Shadowhelper

Banned
Yeah, sounds like classic work anxiety.

How do you cope? Well it depends how stressful your job really is. Everyone has a breaking point.

But, honestly, I beat it by just being healthy. The healthier you are, the less easily you can achieve anxiety. Being healthy raises your breaking point significantly, and raises the threshold of arriving at anxiety. If you smoke, drink, or do other drugs, that will increase your anxiety. Certainly stimulants, niccotine, even, caffeine can cause anxiety to increase.

Smoking, causes your heart to race, and weakens your heart and lungs. So when you feel pressure, the thereshold to outright anxiety is greatly lowered. Smoking produces much of the sensations of anxiety. If you feel the sensation of anxiety, your mind will actually feel anxiety.
 
C

CitizenCope

Member
Alcohol has been about the only thing that's helped me with it lately. I'm aware that is a horrible way to deal with it though.
Tried a couple of drugs prescribed by my doctor but had bad reactions to both.
Was prescribed Ativan for a flight I had taken recently. The few pills I had remaining I took upon my return. That was probably the best week I've had this year. I need to get back to the doctor.
 
A

Android18a

Member
I had a big anxiety attack out of nowhere a few weeks ago. I was just at work, then my heart felt like it had a cold shiver, then I got really hot, sweaty and felt 'wrong'. Then my arms and legs got tingly, and I got the symptoms of being about to pass out (like hearing and vision going fuzzy). Lasted about 5 minutes and then slowly went back to normal.

I had a smaller attack about two hours after that.

Saw my doctor, she ran some tests and listened to my heart rate etc, got prescribed a weeks worth of tablets. At the time of the attack I thought I was legit about to die, it was terrifying. Since then I've had a few 'flutters' but nothing like the initial attack.

Anxiety/panic attacks are a bitch.
 
C

Catdaddy

Member
Yep, have it daily whether something is going at work or not. Sucks but it’s the reality I live in, I discuss with my family and a therapist, helps some but sitting here after a three day weekend, should be relaxed but alas not so…. I made my boss aware of my condition and there are times, when I have to step away and go out to my car for 15-20 minutes to decompress, that helps a lot during the workday.
 
6

6.8

Member
CecilRousso said:
When it comes to work situations, I just stopped caring. Not as in that I didn't do my work, or didn't work towards a solution, but rather "shit happens, so what?".

That might not help other people, but I have been a worrying person at work before, and reminding myself that shit happens and will continue to happen in IT, has both made me more efficient, and more confident.
Click to expand...
Yup. The subtle art of not giving a fuck is important.
 
M

magnetic

Member
GaryD said:
Good tips all around thanks. People on the meditation train can anyone recommend some good books?

Acceptance is something I work hard towards but seem to miss the mark.

I have had the no care attitude before in IT but it some respect that seemed to be to my detriment. Probably as I get my head around the role more, more care factor will probably drop ��
Click to expand...

"Get out of your mind and into your life" by Steven C. Hayes is THE book I recommend for a modern approach to mindfulness based self help. It´s the perfect fusion of western therapy and eastern approaches of observing the flow of your mind without getting caught up in it.

The very basic idea in this book is that it´s easy to try to avoid certain parts of our experiences - like anxiety, worry, fear - and that this avoidance only causes these aspects to grow in intensity. By learning how to be aware of these feelings and thoughts instead of trying to push them away we can realize that thoughts and impulses don´t need to control our entire lifes.
 
I

itsc4z

Neo Member
I suffer from it daily, although it's not mega intense on a daily basis. The worst for me is when I'm out of my comfort zone as well as doing stuff I've done before such as getting the bus to my local town with a mate, getting in my car after leaving work (fear of traffic), flying and just long journeys in general.

Cinemas are a no go for me too and this is down to having a massive panic attack as a kid at one.

I also get really anxy about time slots. Got to be at work by 9am. Got to meet my mate @ 7pm. I always make sure I leave early though to beat this one.

Not so much anx, but I hate it when you arrange to meet someone at a certain time, all the hours leading up to it I can't enjoy, because that time slot is situated at the front of everything, it's annoying as fuck.

I'm at a point where I can manage it but I think the worst for all sufferers is that fear which comes out of no where. You can be perfectly fine one minute and the next a massive attack just comes out of nowhere and you start sweating like fuck, your hearts pounding and it's very hard to calm down.

I wish I could be one of those people who have no trouble getting on a train / plane to some random location to take a holiday.
 
D

DigitalRicket

Member
Sounds like it. For me I do public speaking and I also read in public to about 100 or more people on a fairly regular basis. Unfortunately, my anxiety has gotten so bad when I read that my arms and elbows physically shake as to make it difficult to read without me trying my hardest to stop it from happening. I tend to grip my phone or book, whatever it is I'm reading, as hard as I can to counteract the shaking. It's such a grueling battle and I've felt like I'm going to die while doing it. It's something I've just come to accept and am actively seeking help to better myself since it's beginning to be a bit debilitating.
 
D

DonShula

Member
GaryD said:
Good tips all around thanks. People on the meditation train can anyone recommend some good books?

Acceptance is something I work hard towards but seem to miss the mark.

I have had the no care attitude before in IT but it some respect that seemed to be to my detriment. Probably as I get my head around the role more, more care factor will probably drop 😉
Click to expand...

Heh, I don't think the solution is quite "stop giving a fuck." It's more knowing that regardless of the outcome of your actions, you will physically and emotionally be OK.

As you handle more challenging scenarios at work, and you survive them all, you'll learn to deal with them better. If this is the first time you've had that feeling, you're probably in pretty decent shape, all things considered.
 
mhayes86

mhayes86

Member
GaryD said:
I've started a new job as a team leader of a group of great people in an IT role. One of the guys made an easy mistake and now we have to fix it. Really not that big a deal in the scheme of the world's problems.

This is the first time I've been formally in charge of a team and when shit hit the fan I felt like shit. I wasn't at all angry, like I said easy mistake to make, and needing to own up wasn't a big deal. But I couldn't stop feeling the pressure today, I had aweful indigestion, quick pulse and felt physically sick.

Is this anxiety and do people deal with this daily? If so I can't help but feel sorry for sufferers. How do you deal with it? I'm generally a really chill guy and do yoga but breathing made no difference.

I said to my boss I won't let my work get in the way of family so I need to be aware of this. I know this is only a one off but I feel a little freaked out.

To my team's credit we all banded together and backed each other up. I won't get too hung up on the issue but I think I will struggle to organise a response to the issue. This is somewhat new territory for me, so the nerves are expected, but I can't shake that feeling. Hopefully it drives me to come back and respond harder.

Anyone been in similar pickles; how did you work though it?
Click to expand...

1st bolded: You're new to a management position (I assume?). It will take some time to adjust, but you'll get better at it. It sounds like stress, unless you're dreading going to work with expectations of doom every day as a result.

2nd bolded: Welcome to IT! It's a challenging, yet rewarding field to be in, but when shit hits the fan, it can be incredibly stressful.

3rd bolded: Sounds like you have a pretty good team if you all are willing to work together to solve a problem. Don't sweat it, and learn from the mistakes.
 
S

SlasherJPC

Banned
Yep that is a sense of anxiety. I suffer pretty normally and it got so bad over the last few months Ive had to go on paxil. A few weeks on it was hell but now it seems to be leveling out. I was constanty feeling my heart rate, panic feeling, worried, etc. Now I'm much less stressed and feeling better.
 
R

RockAction

Member
HotHamBoy said:
Anxiety for me is either an overwhelming sense of dread or the feeling that I have no desire to do anything at all, even something as simple as listening to music or watching tv. I just get paralyzed with indecision and not knowing what to do with myself.
Click to expand...

Thanks for making the thread, OP.

Reading through your post and some of the replies, especially the above quotes, I realise I have experienced similar traits.

I've been wondering what's been off recently as it feels more biological than mental but doctors have told me i'm fine and now i realise it could be anxiety.

I've a lot on right now between full time work, part time study so no time to myself, my friend dying (present tense), myself paying an extortionate rent and travel costs to live/work in London (which basically leave me without any income) my boyfriend living in Norway, my family living in Ireland...

So i figured the past six months of apathy, stress and sleep problems were because of all of the above and just shrugged it off but last night i got into bed and was going to read but i got this anxiety i guess about the prospect, not even sure what, like am i reading the right book, should i be reading or should i try sleeping, should i do something else etc etc i literally ended up just watching giantbomb videos for hours because it felt comforting, but then i feel that i've wasted the time

Not to mention constant dread that i'll fuck my studies up because of work or fuck my work up because of studies or fuck my relationships up because all i do is work or fuck my health up because all i do is work and stress

I'll need to read into this more, thanks for highlighting it.

Good luck to you OP and the others in this thread dealing with it
 
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