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Spring-Loaded · Dec 22, 2012

Thankfully, I haven't smelled anything too awful in my life. Considering how the sense of smell is most directly linked to memory, I figure this would be an interesting issue to discuss.

A friend of my dad worked in a maximum security prison in the wing where the truly disturbed inmates were held. There was a guy who had to spend 23 hours a day in his cell and there were two doors that led to the cell. One had to be locked while opening the other, but there were little window in the doors that had bars in them, no glass/plexiglass.

The inmate had pocketed a plastic bag at some point and he defecated and urinated into the baggie, then held onto it for a while. One day, my dad's friend when to give the prisoner his food. The inmate placed the bag in his mouth and when my dad's friend walked through the first door, the inmate spat the contents all over him.

He said it was the worst smell he had ever smelled.

The worst thing I've ever tasted is a tie between this awful mall smoothie and a Cherry Coke sucker some girl was selling as part of a fund-raiser in high school. The sucker tasted like no other food I know of. If I had to liken it to a feeling, it'd be like despair mixed with active suffering. I took the smallest sip of the smoothie since my friend bought it and remarked that it tasted bad. I almost fell out of shock; it was a taste that was indescribable; it didn't taste like chemicals, but didn't taste like anything else either. Just awfulness...

osnake · Dec 22, 2012

Prune Juice.

DominoKid · Dec 22, 2012

My grandma cleaned chitlins for people

Yeah.

Deleted member 81567 · Dec 22, 2012

I work at a doctor's office, and occasionally help Physical Therapy in the back by putting on electric stimulation pads on patients.

A few weeks ago, a patient came in and I proceeded to put the stim pads on his lower back. Right when I tried to pick up his shirt, a vile stench of shit permeated to my nose. I was forced to just put the pads and come back to salvage anything that was left later. Upon my return, the pads were covered in shit, and I had to put on 2 layers of gloves to throw them out.

He also had a weird, distinct mix of weed/dirtiness on him. It was intolerable, and whenever he comes in for Therapy, I have to leave the office for a few mins.

BlackJace · Dec 22, 2012

I volunteered at a nursing home in high school.
The pee and poo smells, man. So fucking pungent.

spindashing · Dec 22, 2012

The smell of a dead body.

Fou-Lu · Dec 22, 2012

Taste? I remember once at a party it was decided to use my can as an ashtray while I was on the phone. Fucking disgusting.

DonMigs85 · Dec 22, 2012

Hákarl

FelixOrion · Dec 22, 2012

Rotting carcass

squidyj · Dec 22, 2012

FelixOrion said:
Rotting carcass

please tell me you're talking about flavor.

freenudemacusers · Dec 22, 2012

taco bell

rando14 · Dec 22, 2012

Cauterized flesh during surgery.

richiek · Dec 22, 2012

I went to a bank ATM where a homeless guy was sleeping. The funk/odor coming from him was so overpowering I almost puked. I gagged and exited immediately. There were other people using ATMs like nothing happened. I have no idea how they could stand the stench.

FelixOrion · Dec 22, 2012

squidyj said:
please tell me you're talking about flavor.

Flavor and smell are closely intertwined.

Correctomundo · Dec 22, 2012

I grew up on a horse ranch. When I was younger, my family had a little pet Vietnamese pot-bellied pig. She was a great pet, but being a pig she would naturally devour everything she could.

Thanksgiving day came and the entire family was gathered at our place. My grandmother accompanied my mother down into the basement freezer to pick up some of the things stored down there for holidays. While rooting around in there, they found 2 or 3 cartons of frozen eggnog - with an expiration date a full 2 years prior.

Now the stuff had been frozen all this time, but no one seriously expected any human to even attempt to taste it to see if it was salvageable. However, we figured the pig wouldn't mind.

They set the pig out on the back porch and tossed out all manner of food detritus for her to pick at. Old dinner rolls, over-cooked meats, slightly spoiled fruit, and those 2 or 3 blocks of frozen eggnog. She was a pig, so she didn't pick at anything. She ate it all with glee.

We watched her eat the eggnog blocks. She bit at them, and licked them, and eventually worked her way through each, and happily lapped up the melted nog that had accumulated in the porch. She seemed fine.

We continued to monitor her for any signs of trouble for the next couple hours, but there was no indication she even felt slightly odd. She ate her dinner shortly after the rest of the family had left for the night and happily curled up on the couch next to my father, which was one of her favorite things.

It was about 10pm, now, and my father was watching one of his shows with the pig sitting next to him, face toward the back of the couch, and covered in her blanket. My brother and I were just getting ready to head out to feed and water the horses for the evening. We had just turning toward the door, when my father let out this insanely loud shout. We turned to see him standing with his arms up, and some thick, beige liquid dripping from his side. He turned to the pig and grabbed her to get her off the couch before any more damage could be done, but the force of his hands caused her to lose her contents again. A small pool spilled out on to the cushions. She yelled and hopped out of his grasp, and then ran toward the steps going to the front door. She stopped just shy, and stood there, hanging her head.

Poor little thing. We felt bad for her. We knew it was the eggnog disagreeing with her, but we decided to help my dad clean up before we headed out. He went to the bathroom to clean himself, and we pulled the cushions out, scooped what little bit of the foul stuff we could into a plastic bucket to throw out, and then started to unzip the cushion covers so they could be put in the wash.

But that's not the climax of the story. You see, she was standing over there in the walkway, head hanging low because she was not even remotely done. Just as my dad came out of the bathroom, she seemingly unhinged her jaw, and the most odious, most disgusting, most vile chunky fluid gushed forth and slopped onto the floor like some kind of triple-thick milkshake of absolute sickness. It didn't even spread out that well, just continued to pile up in a central hill with little chunks of dough snowballing down the side before rolling out of the main pile and onto the surrounding floor.

The smell was bad enough, but we went right to duty to clean it. I shit you not, I couldn't get within 2 feet of it. My eyes instantly watered. My stomach lurched violently, threatening to add to the mess. My nose actually tried to physically seal itself. My throat dried out and my intestines twisted. It took every fiber of strength I could muster to approach the pile and begin scooping it into the paper towels. Every. Fiber.

It was so awful, so unbelievably rancid, that it burned a permanent memory into the darkest recesses of my being that bursts forward with all the momentum of a derailing freight train. Even recalling this story has made me dry heave several times.

I like to think I've got a pretty iron constitution. I've smelled rotting dead bodies that didn't offend me like this. Cleaned stables. Had three children of my own. And while I'm not ready to proclaim that this is the worst smell in the history of ever, I am in no hurry to find that which could top this.

Oh, the pig got better and lived a long and eggnogless life for the rest of her days.

C-Drive · Dec 22, 2012

Taste:

Canned biscuits, cooked according to label. Remove from fridge after a few hours of cooling. Add cheap Pimento Cheese. Place 5-10 shelled peanuts on the pimento cheese. Microwave until very warm.

I was a kid when me and a friend tried this in an attempt to create some sort of breakfast from the things in my kitchen - and I've never been tempted to try it again.

AKingNamedPaul · Dec 22, 2012

In 6th grade I shared a locker with this fat kid named William. I stopped using the locker for a few months and I went to use it one day....My eyes were watering and I felt like my nose was on fire. To this day I have no idea what he did to that locker, but it was by far the worst thing I've ever in life smelled.

MuggerMD · Dec 22, 2012

I agreed to help my friend and his wife pick up a used fridge/freezer they found on Craigslist. We got it to their home and opened the freezer door and there was a horrible funk to it. Everything looked clean. After going threw it more we found in the ice storage compartment a severely spoiled bag of 'frozen' broccoli. It should be noted they bought the fridge in the middle of summer.

Easily the worst smell I've ever smelt. They kept the fridge(was kept in the garage) and the funk stayed in it for years. They constantly had to put new boxes of baking soda in it to absorb the stink.

Redford · Dec 22, 2012

Cilantro. Come at me.

Ctrl A1t Elite · Dec 22, 2012

Fumes from putting soap in a microwave. That shit hung around for literally weeks.

Velvet Cyberpunk · Dec 22, 2012

There was a homeless guy who lived in my hometown. He was a Viet Nam vet and was pretty messed up by what he saw over there. When he came home he could never get it together. He couldn't keep a job, his family abandoned him, etc. He even got kicked out of a boarding house he was staying at for free because he refused to bathe. Everyone knew about him and most people would give him money or buy him food. He was an okay guy just really quiet and withdrawn. Well one day I saw him at the grocery store and had to get in line behind in at checkout. I was just standing there when this stench hit me. It was seriously the worst smell I have ever smelled. I can only describe it as a mixture of feces, urine, rotting flesh, amonia, garbage, and hot vomit. I almost started heaving. It was so bad I was nauseated for hours afterward. I think it must have been years since he'd washed. So gross. One day he just disappeared. I think he died, and I always felt bad for him. I cannot imagine what it was like to live with that kind of fear and paranoia.

rexor0717 · Dec 22, 2012

Redford said:
Cilantro. Come at me.

Wtf is this shit

Don't you say cilantro

Sadsic · Dec 22, 2012

piss left on the floor in the summer for a few days

Oppo · Dec 22, 2012

spindashing said:
The smell of a dead body.

It really is uniquely horrifying. You just intrinsically know what it is.

Correctomundo, fantastic post, thanks for that.

Avixph · Dec 22, 2012

A while back I thought up horrible smells but one became all to real. My brain associated the color green with this smell, so for a weak I gagged when I saw the color green.

Esch · Dec 22, 2012

fresh offal

SerArthurDayne · Dec 22, 2012

Dead body that had spent a couple of days in the water. Unpleasant.

Coeliacus · Dec 22, 2012

Vomit and rotting things including carcases make sense of course... it's just your body telling your primitive mind not to put that shit in your mouth. Anything that makes me want to vomit hits the top of my list, and it's usually the distinct rotten egg smell. I was surprised how rancid irrigation water smells. I was so caught off guard I had to choke back a bit of vomit.

I love Correctomundo's pig story.

LuCkymoON · Dec 22, 2012

rotting flesh and any sulfur containing gasses.

freenudemacusers · Dec 22, 2012

when we first got him from the shelter, my dog once shit in the house and ate it, puked it up and ate that, then had terrible diarrhea on the floor and puked again. did not smell good. i felt pretty sad for him, since he was obviously made to be upset about pooping etc by whoever had him before.

ffdgh · Dec 22, 2012

Coconut.....

Escape Goat · Dec 22, 2012

sex panther cologne

Kilrogg · Dec 22, 2012

Durian: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian

Very powerful, very invasive smell. Only smell in the world that has ever literally made me run away.

bozeman · Dec 22, 2012

You should get a whiff of my house slippers right now.

Taste? Back when Harry Potter first hit, Jelly Belly made some Harry Potter inspired jelly beans. Mixed with edible flavors were gross flavors. Among those were earthworm, booger, dirt, and vomit. On a dare, I popped in a few vomits. Absolutely disgusting. I immediately spit them out and dry heaved for minutes.

Jezabel · Dec 22, 2012

Teh Hamburglar said:
sex panther cologne

Like a diaper full of Indian food

KevinRo · Dec 22, 2012

I forgot what it is but it was one of those pinkish colored jelly beans with brownish/red dots on it.

FUCKING DISGUSTING.

I stay away from weird fucking flavored jelly beans ever since. Fuck those giant plastic containers.

coldvein · Dec 22, 2012

i dont know about the WORST, but i smelled something bad the other day.

i was at the dentist and he was "smoothing" down some of the little chips in my front teeth... as the tooth was getting ground down, it smelled so fucking bad. like concentrated burning hair and toenails.. shit was foul

Hilbert · Dec 22, 2012

When in the back of your fridge you find a container of old pinto beans. They have gone so old there are white streaks running through. You are compelled for reasons you don't understand to open the lid and take a sniff. You instantly retch, almost vomiting.

Any Mexicans here will know what I am talking about.

TUROK · Dec 22, 2012

I once microwaved some pieces of bacon that were spoiled, but I didn't know. It honestly smelled fine to me, although it looked really greasy and slippery.

When I came back to the kitchen I was assaulted with a pungent stench that made me dry heave like I was trying to force my stomach out of my body. I started panicking and ran towards the microwave, shut it off, and opened it. Big mistake. Opening it up only magnified the stench and made it seep into every crevice in the kitchen and living room. I had to run out of the apartment and leave the door open.

I was honestly freaking out that the smell would never leave, that I'd have to buy a new microwave, and scrub and Febreze the hell out of the kitchen, but surprisingly, the smell dissipated within an hour.

Still, that was the Devil's Bacon. I threw the plate away because I didn't want my memory of bacon to be tainted.

Phonomezer · Dec 22, 2012

An unclean groin.

freenudemacusers · Dec 22, 2012

Phonomezer said:
An unclean groin.

how unclean are we talking

Flynn · Dec 22, 2012

I hate the smell of old transmission fluid. Once you get it on your hands it is hard to get rid of the smell.

Phonomezer · Dec 22, 2012

macuser1of5 said:
how unclean are we talking

Buildup on the underware unclean. I was very disappointed.

raindoc · Dec 22, 2012

spindashing said:
The smell of a dead body.

approx two weeks dead in his bed, in summer, no windows open.

balddemon · Dec 22, 2012

rotten whey proten + milk left in your car the whole day in the middle of the summer.

also, when a woman's vagina smells like shit. nearly puked during foreplay.

luckyboyceo · Dec 22, 2012

The last time I was in Mexico I was given a local alcoholic beverage called Pulque which not only tasted atrocious, smelled equally bad. The worst part was that the smell stayed on my hands and fingers until the next day, so sleeping was next to impossible. It smelled like rotten eggs.

It's clearly one of those acquired tastes the locals dig that my American tastes just weren't accustomed to.

Charles Foster Kane · Dec 22, 2012

The worst smell was when I found a bag filled with rotten cas in an old shed. I don't know the name of the fruit in English, it's this:

It was below some straps of old clothes. For days I had gotten a hint of a gross smell but couldn't find the source, until one day when I looked in the shed. Believe me, it was a powerful smell. The bag was filled with rotten/dead maggots.

I tell you, shit and dead rats/animals smell nicer than that. Thinking of that smell makes me cringe. It got stuck in my brain. I doubt anything can smell worse.

Decaying maggots.

Cyrillus · Dec 22, 2012

Smell? Having to clean cheese out of a refrigerator that had been unplugged for 1 month in the middle of 90°F+ summer temperatures. Just long enough to be thoroughly rotted, but not long enough for the fragrant chemicals to dissipate. Fridge was unopened during that month too, so the stank was sealed in there.

Taste? Fuckin prednisone. Gross-ass tasting medicine.

Dinosur · Dec 22, 2012

I started out college to become a forensic pathologist so a buddy who worked in the funeral home let me come watch a couple embalmings. One of the bodies farted. It might not be the grossest smell I'll ever experience, but definitely the weirdest.

Red · Dec 22, 2012

I've worked alongside a lot of sick people and chemicals, but the one thing that comes to mind is how every new pack of deli-sliced turkey smells like a fart when you open it.

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