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I drank 20 pints of Guinness last night

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R

Rubbish King

The gift that keeps on giving
and ended up at the bar I work in

You'd think as a barman I'd have grasped the concept of knowing your limits and would learned from the drunk buttholes I have to throw out occassionally

BUT NO

I:

  • Hit on the barmaid
  • Asked my boss for better wages
  • Made my boss's dad poke my bum because I felt like he needed to know about my buns of steel
  • Pulled some bird who was dressed like mario, can't even remember what she looked like
  • I announced that I am a bi-sexual
  • I don't know how I managed to get the last four or five pints, so I assume I scrounged off someone
  • Punched someone in the dick

Where are you hungover GAF? Anyone have any drunken adventure stories they could share to cheer me up?

also

hangover-not-drinking.jpg
 
M

MacNille

Banned
One time I woke up in my sister bed. I sleep at the end of the bed and she and her friend notice a big mass at the end. When they woke me up, I notice that I had no clothes. The weird thing, is that I remember that I went to my bed. I most have sleepwalked.

Edit. I didn't had sex with them.
 
P

PirateKing

Junior Member
MacNille said:
One time I woke up in my sister bed. I sleep at the end of the bed and she and her friend notice a big mass at the end. When they woke me up, I notice that I had no clothes.
Click to expand...
Inb4 avatar quote.

Don't pull a Dragon Balls now, what happens next?
 
R

Rubbish King

The gift that keeps on giving
The worst part is that I have work an 8pm, and I'm taking over from the barmaid I hit on


FUUUUCK MY LIFE


ComputerMKII said:
How are you still alive?
Click to expand...
I'm not sure if I am
MacNille said:
One time I woke up in my sister bed. I sleep at the end of the bed and she and her friend notice a big mass at the end. When they woke me up, I notice that I had no clothes.
Click to expand...
This, this makes me feel much better..

Good job
Brazil said:
Did your boss' dad like the buns of steel, though?
Click to expand...
He is a sixty-something racist homophobe dude, I imagine he did not.
theytookourjobz said:
20 Guinness? Jesus man. You've got an iron stomach. Congrats.
Click to expand...
thankyou, it's the worst superpower ever
 
K

Kerned

Banned
How old are you? If I drank 20 beers at my age (37) I think I would have a hangover for the rest of my life. Going to work tonight would be out of the question. Maybe when I was in my 20s I could have still pulled that off. Either way I feel your pain. I've had a lot of "oh no, I did what?!" mornings in my life.
 
S

Sickboy007

Member
I lost my friends in Berlin's metro at new years eve, woke up in a wagon with a cheeseburger in my pocket where my cell phone was supposed to be, ate the burger and went clubbing.
 
B

Bedameister

Member
How do you remember all that stuff? Or did someone tell you everything

I could have some stories that would make you feel better but I don't want to tell them, sorry.
 
N

NinjaFridge

Unconfirmed Member
MacNille said:
One time I woke up in my sister bed. I sleep at the end of the bed and she and her friend notice a big mass at the end. When they woke me up, I notice that I had no clothes. The weird thing, is that I remember that I went to my bed. I most have sleepwalked.

Edit. I didn't had sex with them.
Click to expand...

Doom_Bringer, is that you?
 
R

Rubbish King

The gift that keeps on giving
Kerned said:
How old are you? If I drank 20 beers at my age (37) I think I would have a hangover for the rest of my life. Going to work tonight would be out of the question. Maybe when I was in my 20s I could have still pulled that off. Either way I feel your pain. I've had a lot of "oh no, I did what?!" mornings in my life.
Click to expand...
I'm 20

Give me some stories breh, help me with my pain
Sickboy007 said:
I lost my friends in Berlin's metro at new years eve, woke up in a wagon with a cheeseburger in my pocket where my cell phone was supposed to be, ate the burger and went clubbing.
Click to expand...
This is awesome
Bedameister said:
How do you remember all that stuff? Or did someone tell you everything

I could have some stories that would make you feel better but I don't want to tell them, sorry.
Click to expand...
image.php

I spent the day being nursed at my friends house and every now and again another thing I did would pop up in my head... I'd scare the shit out of her everytime as I'd shout FUCK repeatedly until the thought went away
 
S

Sn4ke_911

If I ever post something in Japanese which I don't understand, please BAN me.
It's weird but i'm not hangover anymore after a drinking night, is this a good or bad sign?
 
J

Joe

Member
I responsibly mixed in waters between my pints of German beer and shots of Irish whiskey, talked to a few girls, got a phone number, now laying in bed hangover free. Like a god damn professional.

(I relate to your antics all too well though OP, I've been there many a times)
 
G

Grimsen

Member
MacNille said:
One time I woke up in my sister bed. I sleep at the end of the bed and she and her friend notice a big mass at the end. When they woke me up, I notice that I had no clothes. The weird thing, is that I remember that I went to my bed. I most have sleepwalked.

Edit. I didn't had sex with them.
Click to expand...

If you don't remember going, you probably wouldn't remember coming, either.
 
W

Wilsongt

Member
No crazy stories from me when I get drunk. I do, however, send drunk texts that I regret the following morning. I really need to hide my phone away when I drink.

I also think I'm starting to get to the point where I can't drink as much as I used to and be over the next morning. I always wake up with the shakes and feeling bleh and sluggish.
 
S

Spider from Mars

tap that thorax
I killed a 40 of Steel Reserve in like 4 minutes after already having a few drinks and it only took like half an hour for me to throw up after some intense dancing. I was pretty proud I made it to the 30 minute mark.

I also threw up in a urinal once.
 
T

tapedeck

Do I win a prize for talking about my penis on the Internet???
20 Guinness and you're still functioning? Damn son...that's next level ish, way out of my league. I can slam Tequila shots with the best of em though.
 
R

Rubbish King

The gift that keeps on giving
Joe said:
I responsibly mixed in waters between my pints of German beer and shots of Irish whiskey, talked to a few girls, got a phone number, now laying in bed hangover free. Like a god damn professional.
Click to expand...
I salute you sir
Wilsongt said:
No crazy stories from me when I get drunk. I do, however, send drunk texts that I regret the following morning. I really need to hide my phone away when I drink.

I also think I'm starting to get to the point where I can't drink as much as I used to and be over the next morning. I always wake up with the shakes and feeling bleh and sluggish.
Click to expand...
I do this ALL the time.

many feels
 
R

Rubbish King

The gift that keeps on giving
Spider from Mars said:
I killed a 40 of Steel Reserve in like 4 minutes after already having a few drinks and it only took like half an hour for me to throw up after some intense dancing. I was pretty proud I made it to the 30 minute mark.

I also threw up in a urinal once.
Click to expand...
I admire that, a man with real goals
tapedeck said:
20 Guiness and you're still functioning? Damn son...that's next level ish, way out of my league. I can slam Tequila shots with the best of em though.
Click to expand...

I can't do any shorts

krameriffic said:
20 pints is just a fuckton of volume, regardless of what it is. That's 2.5 gallons of beer. Not sure if I buy it.
Click to expand...

Why lie


lol
 
H

happypup

Member
My drunk stories are all lame, though I did drink most of a bottle of tequila on my 21st birthday after reading shogun, and I pretended to be samurai for a bit. I was told it was pretty funny.

I also thought I was in the matrix after watching the matrix on shrooms when the matrix came out. I ended up in the bathtub trying to pull the hose in my mouth out. That was my only 'bad' trip.
 
D

Disagree Guy

Member
Went to a New Year's party dressed as Sporty Spice (my other friends were the other spice girls)

Drank two bottles of Eastenders wine (for real) which tasted like raisins. Can't remember much after that but I remember singing 'could you be loved' by Bob Marley instead of the usual new year tune.

I woke up in my bed, my clothes completely tore to shreds with scary spice asleep on the floor. I had scratches all over my body and bits of twig and leaves in my bed and in my hair.

Still to this day don't 100% know what happened or how I got home.

Woke up without a hangover though.
 
R

Rubbish King

The gift that keeps on giving
Chichikov said:
I guess it's good you picked one of the weakest beers out there.
Click to expand...
It's 5% that's premium lager strength
happypup said:
My drunk stories are all lame, though I did drink most of a bottle of tequila on my 21st birthday after reading shogun, and I pretended to be samurai for a bit. I was told it was pretty funny.

I also thought I was in the matrix after watching the matrix on shrooms when the matrix came out. I ended up in the bathtub trying to pull the hose in my mouth out. That was my only 'bad' trip.
Click to expand...

I'm fine with the funny nights, one time I left the pub, fell asleep outside a house, pissed myself, lost my keys and ended up sleeping on the floor of the pub I had been drinking at as a result
 
A

Ace Harding

Member
Not to call you out OP but Guinness is one of the lower calorie, lower alcohol beers available. If you're going to drink 20 beers, that's a good one to choose.
 
B

Boney

Banned
How can you remember exactly how much you drank? And all the things you did as well

Also it doesn't sound too bad except for the part about your boss's dad. Which I'm pretty sure they're just gonna make fun of you forever though.
 
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