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[Vylash]

Infertile women are women. I would prefer to not date an infertile women, as being a biological father is a big dream of mine.

I would also have some difficulty eating a pussy made of rearranged penis bits, at least at first.

just when I thought this thread couldn't get any worse

what's with the obsession so many of you have with making transgendered people feel subhuman? why is treating everyone with dignity so hard?

 

[liliththepale]

just when I thought this thread couldn't get any worse

what's with the obsession so many of you have with making transgendered people feel subhuman? why is treating everyone with dignity so hard?

Treating with dignity ≠ being attracted to.

 

[Mask]

I really don't care about if someone has changed gender or anything like that, love is love, and if you love them, you love them.

As far as I'm concerned, no difference between born or reassigned.

 

[M3d10n]

Jesus christ. It's easy to see why these threads get so heated.

Am I a bigot for wanting to become a biological father without resorting to a 3rd party?

Or are you saying they stopped using penis and scrotum tissue in mtf srs?

just when I thought this thread couldn't get any worse

what's with the obsession so many of you have with making transgendered people feel subhuman? why is treating everyone with dignity so hard?

I'm sorry, could you elaborate? What did I say that makes someone feel less than human? Do I need to want to marry you to be able to treat you with dignity?

I didn't even use the terms "real woman" or "biological woman". I just really want to have kids with my genes and a woman who can't provide for that moves way down in my potential mate list. This includes cis women too, of course and is something I bring up very early on. This changes nothing in my respect for them as people and women.

 

[jillytot]

Typically the scenario is presented as you find someone physically and emotionally attractive, you really like this person, but stop/wont date them when you become aware they are trans. The question then becomes what does that do to change your perception of them and why.

It's an appeal for the absolute truth. Does someone say they support and accept trans individuals honestly, or the end do they internally still think of them as a man or woman, and offer support because they feel it's the right/good/socially responsible thing to do but can't actually bring themselves to accept and believe it.

I think this is the best wording i've seen on the topic so far. This!

 

[Cipherr]

Jesus christ. It's easy to see why these threads get so heated.

These topics are always short lived because people are unreasonable. You have the ignorant lot on one side that are just offensive for no reason, not to mention hateful. Then you have the lot that absolutely refuse to respect that someone can have a preference to date a woman who can bear them biological children or whatever. Its always that same impasse. Then the insults come and the topic locks.

Jumping on M3d for wanting biological kids is fucking stupid, and you should seriously feel bad if you are taking part in it.

Jumping in the thread and blaring some bullshit about "if yer born a man yer a man to me hyuk" is equally stupid and you should seriously feel bad if that is your only contribution to the discussion.


Hopefully we can all agree that the restroom thing is pretty silly though. I don't think theres anything wrong with unisex restrooms. I think that whole thing is just a construct that we started as a species, and now we are stuck with it because its 'normal'.

 

[Rajack]

To some of you: I get it that your sexual tendencies lean away from us for whatever reasons that are uniquely your own, but that does not give you a free and full license to disparage us or otherwise declare us lesser or inferior to cisgender women and/or cisgender men. The degree of hate that some of you are displaying, be it with thinly veiled politeness makes this place all the lesser. I thought this place was more civilized towards transgender folk than this.

 

[Izuna]

To some of you: I get it that your sexual tendencies lean away from us for whatever reasons that are uniquely your own, but that does not give you a free and full license to disparage us or otherwise declare us lesser or inferior to cisgender women and/or cisgender men. The degree of hate that some of you are displaying, be it with thinly veiled politeness makes this place all the lesser. I thought this place was more civilized towards transgender folk than this.

Where is this done? I remember a single post that does this and that guy got banned.

 

[M3d10n]

Hopefully we can all agree that the restroom thing is pretty silly though. I don't think theres anything wrong with unisex restrooms. I think that whole thing is just a construct that we started as a species, and now we are stuck with it because its 'normal'.

The restroom thing is stupid, yes. If you're a woman/man under the law, you go to the restroom that matches it.

But we're a few centuries too early for unisex restrooms. Rape and sexism sexual assault against women is still a huge issue. Not to mention it would take "cruising" to a whole new level.

 

[Nether!]

I honestly have never given a shit.

All the women in my life have been adorable little fucks, whether they've had cocks or not - I don't care,

If I'm attracted to a woman, that's it. That's all I care about.

I'd they're attrated to me - they're straight women that like gross straight men, regardless of genitals. Ha!

 

[Jaffaboy]

To some of you: I get it that your sexual tendencies lean away from us for whatever reasons that are uniquely your own, but that does not give you a free and full license to disparage us or otherwise declare us lesser or inferior to cisgender women and/or cisgender men. The degree of hate that some of you are displaying, be it with thinly veiled politeness makes this place all the lesser. I thought this place was more civilized towards transgender folk than this.

There's undeniably been progress though. When I joined GAF there was a 'trannysurprise' meme for when someone would make a browser screencap. Attitudes are slowly changing, and that's for all social issues. I think it's going to take a long long time for the majority of people to fully accept trans women as nothing different to cis women, and the same for trans men as nothing different to cis men. People saying they fully support trans people's life choices but wouldn't date them is still a step in the right direction compared to the much more negative attitudes of even 5-6 years ago. If you're expecting more than that from some people, I'm afraid you're expecting too much and it's no wonder people who think this progressively are getting frustrated.

 

[Soph]

Topic's bigotry reaching an all time high, and I can't really phrase my words well since I'm quite dumbfound on information here as well. And that's why my next fling is going to be with a trans mtf or ftm, it has been decided. The hardest part will actually be seeking such precious individuals as it's not written on their foreheads, I reckon asking everyone if they are trans at the start of flirtation would not net any results either.

I think you all should be more open to ideas, a human is a wonderful animal with so many possibilities, toning people down to basic forms is just asking for trouble.

I also found out I do discriminate, even though I don't want to, not against people with different sexual orientations or formations, but against people hellbent on being ignorant. I value those people less for some reason, I'm a bigot as well now.. thanks guys.

 

[MilkyJoe]

The restroom thing is stupid, yes. If you're a woman/man under the law, you go to the restroom that matches it.

But we're a few centuries too early for unisex restrooms. Rape and sexism sexual assault against women is still a huge issue. Not to mention it would take "cruising" to a whole new level.

When I was in Taiwan there were unisex toilets in the Karaoke bar I was in. Open plan, no stalls, no urinals, just a room full of toilets in two rows facing each other. The most bizarre this about this was not them being unisex nor the lack of stall walls, but the fact there were two doors into the place, one for men, one for women...

 

[Fried Food]

I get the impression there are a lot of people playing devil's advocate or just straight up trolling in this thread. I find it supremely hard to believe that this many straight males would knowingly date a transgendered woman. Now befriending the woman is an entirely different matter.

 

[BobbyRobby]

No one is entitled to the attraction of another. I understand having frustration, but you should never take it out on people.

hopefully the increasing acceptance and internet will facilitate those who do desire trans people to meet their matches, but yeah, it's still difficult I imagine

 

[Nephtis]

Topic's bigotry reaching an all time high, and I can't really phrase my words well since I'm quite dumbfound on information here as well. And that's why my next fling is going to be with a trans mtf or ftm, it has been decided. The hardest part will actually be seeking such precious individuals as it's not written on their foreheads, I reckon asking everyone if they are trans at the start of flirtation would not net any results either.

I think you all should be more open to ideas, a human is a wonderful animal with so many possibilities, toning people down to basic forms is just asking for trouble.

I also found out I do discriminate, even though I don't want to, not against people with different sexual orientations or formations, but against people hellbent on being ignorant. I value those people less for some reason, I'm a bigot as well now.. thanks guys.

uh

seeking out & having a "fling" with a transgender person for the sake of showing a point, rather than because you're simply attracted to that person is more offensive, I think.

 

[Amalthea]

I get the impression there are a lot of people playing devil's advocate or just straight up trolling in this thread. I find it supremely hard to believe that this many straight males would knowingly date a transgendered woman. Now befriending the woman is an entirely different matter.

Now saying that it's simply not your preference to date trans*women is one thing. It's ones own opinion.

But saying that men who state that they would must be trolls because... you know ewww, "transgendered" women.

That goes a bit far.

Would you think if every straight man had be so grossed out by trans*people as some think, that they would even be able to troll about being open to date them?

Some people are simply open.

 

[fanboi]

These topics are always short lived because people are unreasonable. You have the ignorant lot on one side that are just offensive for no reason, not to mention hateful. Then you have the lot that absolutely refuse to respect that someone can have a preference to date a woman who can bear them biological children or whatever. Its always that same impasse. Then the insults come and the topic locks.

Jumping on M3d for wanting biological kids is fucking stupid, and you should seriously feel bad if you are taking part in it.

Jumping in the thread and blaring some bullshit about "if yer born a man yer a man to me hyuk" is equally stupid and you should seriously feel bad if that is your only contribution to the discussion.


Hopefully we can all agree that the restroom thing is pretty silly though. I don't think theres anything wrong with unisex restrooms. I think that whole thing is just a construct that we started as a species, and now we are stuck with it because its 'normal'.

Should I read that as 'You are stupid if you can't find a transgender person attractive'?

 

[Soph]

uh

seeking out & having a "fling" with a transgender person for the sake of showing a point, rather than because you're simply attracted to that person is more offensive, I think.

I'm not showing a point, I want to know more

 

[Nephtis]

I'm not showing a point, I want to know more

That's fair. I think.

 

[KiwiLannister]

Should I read that as 'You are stupid if you can't find a transgender person attractive'?

That's not at all what that post was saying.

Although you are lying to yourself if you are saying you find transgender women attractive as a straight guy. I'm not saying you might not be weirded out if you knew that they were transgender, but nobody is able to tell the difference in a lot of cases where they're beautiful just like cisgender women.

Some stupid arguments being thrown around on both sides in here. I understand people that are invested heavily in this topic would definitely be offended and get very upset at things they're reading here, but the arguments on the last page - specifically lexi claiming everyone was a hypocrite because we would hate our girlfriends to get pregnant; yet we seem to want to be biological parents - are just anger without much thought behind them.

I can definitely see why people get upset reading this though, must suck for most people (especially on a left leaning forum like Gaf) to not fully accept you :/

Try to think about how your comments actually would sound to someone who is trans before you post a rant about how you don't want to go down on them or whatever bothers you about them since it just makes them feel terrible.

I honestly think the number one reason for most people, assuming they met a transgender person they found attractive and were compatible with etc., would be the social stigma. I imagine a lot of friends and family wouldn't be so understanding, and it would seem like a big sacrifice to make if you had to make them aware of the fact that your partner was transgender. It sucks how that is reality but I think for a lot of people they would just think it's not worth it. Really would depend on your social circle whether or not that would be a problem. Personally it would be quite hard for me to deal with and I'd probably struggle doing it. Would depend on how open they were about their being transgender to other people. I think it would be easier if very few people knew about it.

 

[M3d10n]

In retrospect, I think I might have hit a nerve or two with the "rearranged penis bits" thing. The srs is expensive, painful and takes a long time to achieve, so calling it "rearranged penis bits" indeed sounded very rude and I apologize.


I imagine a trans person, out of sheer necessity, reflects far more on things like gender, sexual development and attraction than most cis people like me who take things as granted, which is why such things can be blurted out without much thought.

I think this might be one of the complicated parts of the struggle for trans acceptance: it involves getting people who never had to think much about such things to reflect and deconstruct them, and that's not easy.

For example, if you ask heterosexual men "if a gorgeous woman had a penis, would you suck it?" and "why not?", they would need to do some deep reflection on how their attraction works to properly answer the second question. Is it because they view it as a male part? Is it because they find the penis itself off putting? They'd need to question what is it that attract them in females and what is it that repels them from males, something not a lot of people are up to.

 

[Platy]

I get the impression there are a lot of people playing devil's advocate or just straight up trolling in this thread. I find it supremely hard to believe that this many straight males would knowingly date a transgendered woman. Now befriending the woman is an entirely different matter.

This post ended way diferent than I expected when I read the begining =P

 

[Nephtis]

In retrospect, I think I might have hit a nerve or two with the "rearranged penis bits" thing. The srs is expensive, painful and takes a long time to achieve, so calling it "rearranged penis bits" indeed sounded very rude and I apologize.


I imagine a trans person, out of sheer necessity, reflects far more on things like gender, sexual development and attraction than most cis people like me who take things as granted, which is why such things can be blurted out without much thought.

I think this might be one of the complicated parts of the struggle for trans acceptance: it involves getting people who never had to think much about such things to reflect and deconstruct them, and that's not easy.

For example, if you ask heterosexual men "if a gorgeous woman had a penis, would you suck it?" and "why not?", they would need to do some deep reflection on how their attraction works to properly answer the second question. Is it because they view it as a male part? Is it because they find the penis itself off putting? They'd need to question what is it that attract them in females and what is it that repels them from males, something not a lot of people are up to.

I wonder how it would be if the person was born with both, a penis and a vagina. I think there's some cases where the parents choose to leave the child with both, and let the child make a decision which gender they want to go with later in life.

 

[LosDaddie]

I wouldn't knowingly date a transperson, no. Also, I highly doubt I wouldn't be able to tell the person had a sex change.

And there's nithing wrong with that. I'm all for Civil Rights for all people

 

[QuickSilverD]

I wonder how it would be if the person was born with both, a penis and a vagina. I think there's some cases where the parents choose to leave the child with both, and let the child make a decision which gender they want to go with later in life.

that does sound like the most sensible solution for that sort of situation

 

[JonathanNemo]

I imagine a trans person, out of sheer necessity, reflects far more on things like gender, sexual development and attraction than most cis people like me who take things as granted, which is why such things can be blurted out without much thought.

I appreciate that you're taking a step back here and thinking upon things. There's more range to the transgender identity than I think you realize.

What helped me was to have friends who had gone through various phases of medical process to reassign their gender. And really, what is required for that identity and to make it happen, that's not a fixed step process that every person who could be identified as transgendered needs to follow and there's not really an end point to which they've "transitioned". There's quite a bit of variety in terms of gender identity.

I've had my own share of clumsy, sorta boorish moments trying to understand that. It's neat, I have tremendous respect for people who can make these decisions and go through with it. But it's also something that takes a lot of listening, and some respectful questions, and some serious reevaluation of what we consider to be gender identity today.

I think this might be one of the complicated parts of the struggle for trans acceptance: it involves getting people who never had to think much about such things to reflect and deconstruct them, and that's not easy.

For example, if you ask heterosexual men "if a gorgeous woman had a penis, would you suck it?" and "why not?", they would need to do some deep reflection on how their attraction works to properly answer the second question. Is it because they view it as a male part? Is it because they find the penis itself off putting? They'd need to question what is it that attract them in females and what is it that repels them from males, something not a lot of people are up to.

Yes, and I think back to high school where "gay" was slung around as an insult and a term to express displeasure. Many don't seem to grow out of that phase.

There's been progress in changing our cultural acceptance of these matters, but we still have so far to go in terms of respect and mutual understanding.

 

[THRILLH0]

Your logic is that as a post-op transgender woman you are the final word on the authenticity of surgically created vaginas and the rest of us are clueless.

If that logic follows then I - as a father - have the right to tell you you've got no fucking clue what you're talking about on this topic right?

I wanna back down from this a little bit. I can acknowledge that when you've gone through something as emotionally difficult as gender reassignment surgery then you've got every right to be both proud of the result and sensitive to any criticism of it.

I feel like when I post in these sorts of threads I choose to focus on the wrong thing and I think that gives an inaccurate representation of where I stand on these issues. I realise this is "but I have black friends" territory but in my personal life i've actively campaigned for LGBT rights and believe that i'm genuinely empathetic to transgendered people.

I'm insightful enough to know that I would have difficulty getting into a romantic relationship with a post-op female and perhaps that does make me a hypocrite. I strongly believe however that it does NOT make me a bigot and when people compare it to racism or homophobia it just rubs me the wrong way. For that reason, I end up making somewhat defensive posts that represent me as being anti-transgender.

Whatever, this is some bullshit rambling but these threads generally degenerate into "for" and "against" camps and i'd really like to plant my flag in the "for" camp.

 

[Petrie]

There's undeniably been progress though. When I joined GAF there was a 'trannysurprise' meme for when someone would make a browser screencap. Attitudes are slowly changing, and that's for all social issues. I think it's going to take a long long time for the majority of people to fully accept trans women as nothing different to cis women, and the same for trans men as nothing different to cis men. People saying they fully support trans people's life choices but wouldn't date them is still a step in the right direction compared to the much more negative attitudes of even 5-6 years ago. If you're expecting more than that from some people, I'm afraid you're expecting too much and it's no wonder people who think this progressively are getting frustrated.

This isn't "progressive", it's flat out wrong. There are not the same as cis men and women, and science can't yet make it so they are. I can treat them with respect and still not be interested in dating them based on the things they lack compared to a cis individual. This is not offensive nor is it bigoted.

 

[KiwiLannister]

I get the impression there are a lot of people playing devil's advocate or just straight up trolling in this thread. I find it supremely hard to believe that this many straight males would knowingly date a transgendered woman. Now befriending the woman is an entirely different matter.

Not at all. I would have zero problem from an attraction standpoint. They are women, I like women.

Are you that scared about your sexuality that you wouldn't consider it? Assuming she was beautiful, feminine, as attractive as any other woman.

I wouldn't knowingly date a transperson, no. Also, I highly doubt I wouldn't be able to tell the person had a sex change.

And there's nithing wrong with that. I'm all for Civil Rights for all people

You would be surprised. You only notice trans people who don't pass perfectly. If they pass perfectly you never notice it in the first place so you can't really tell how many pass etc. Basically it's a sort of confirmation bias.

 

[Daingurse]

I get the impression there are a lot of people playing devil's advocate or just straight up trolling in this thread. I find it supremely hard to believe that this many straight males would knowingly date a transgendered woman. Now befriending the woman is an entirely different matter.

The fact that this is your impression really says a lot, kinda insulting IMO. Who are you to judge what people find attractive? Not everyone has your view on things. There's nothing wrong with not being attracted to trans people, I don't think we have much control over what we are attracted to, but dont try and question what I am attracted to. I consider myself straight, and have definitely found some trans woman attractive. Pre-op, post-op, wouldn't make any difference if I found the woman attractive.

 

[Moff]

This isn't "progressive", it's flat out wrong. There are not the same as cis men and women, and science can't yet make it so they are. I can treat them with respect and still not be interested in dating them based on the things they lack compared to a cis individual. This is not offensive nor is it bigoted.

what if science could though?
what if in a few years we were able to let MtF be pregnant? what if we could recreate the perfect sex organs? would you be able to date them or start looking for other characteristics they "lack"?

 

[Petrie]

what if science could though?
what if in a few years we were able to let MtF be pregnant? what if we could recreate the perfect sex organs? would you be able to date them or start looking for other characteristics they "lack"?

I would have no issue. I have no issue finding them attractive, and earlier in this thread went as far as to say that my issue is I adore eating pussy, and science can't yet properly replicate that experience, which is a dealbreaker for me. It also does not feel the same way as the typical pussy, there are differences we can't yet achieve.

I don't even want kids, so the reproductive organs are a non-issue for me, and I do have experience with both pre and post op females during my lifetime.

 

[Menome]

has anyone ever in the history of gaf said they would date a transgender

I already have, does that count? I knew her as a woman because that's who she is. Sure it was a bit of a shock finding out who she used to be, but I liked her for her. That's all that mattered.

 

[John Kowalski]

I already have, does that count? I knew her as a woman because that's who she is. Sure it was a bit of a shock finding out who she used to be, but I liked her for her. That's all that mattered.

yes, it counts

you're a cool b

 

[SquiddyCracker]

Mimic which physical part downstairs ?
In the same way that there are penis of all shapes and sizes and colors and reactions, there are vaginas of all shapes and sizes and colors and reactions

Well, I guess the biggest challenge would be to recreate vaginal walls that can contract and hold onto objects inserted into the vaginal canal. Lubrication would be a smaller challenge, as while it looks like constructed vaginas can self-lubricate, they do not self-lubricate at the same rate as a non-constructed vagina.

 

[Petrie]

Well, I guess the biggest challenge would be to recreate vaginal walls that can contract and hold onto objects inserted into the vaginal canal. Lubrication would be a smaller challenge, as while it looks like constructed vaginas can self-lubricate, they do not self-lubricate at the same rate as a non-constructed vagina.

Nor do they squirt, and I don't give a fuck if it's pee or whatever else, it's different, and it is my favorite thing to make my current girlfriend do.

 

[Cheech]

To some of you: I get it that your sexual tendencies lean away from us for whatever reasons that are uniquely your own, but that does not give you a free and full license to disparage us or otherwise declare us lesser or inferior to cisgender women and/or cisgender men. The degree of hate that some of you are displaying, be it with thinly veiled politeness makes this place all the lesser. I thought this place was more civilized towards transgender folk than this.

I've been on GAF (amongst many other forums) for a long time, and believe me when I say that this is one of the best curated forums I visit.

There's a really, really big gulf between hate and ignorance. Part of the burden of any minority is engaging people on topics such as this and turning their perceptions around. Sure, it seems like a drop in the bucket, but that's how most progress is made.

I typically stay out of topics such as this, but posts like yours bother me because I honestly don't see the hate. Just ignorance. Nobody is calling you inferior, at any rate; no more than anyone not blue eyed, blonde haired, and male is inferior.

 

[EmpressInYellow]

I'm insightful enough to know that I would have difficulty getting into a romantic relationship with a post-op female and perhaps that does make me a hypocrite. I strongly believe however that it does NOT make me a bigot and when people compare it to racism or homophobia it just rubs me the wrong way. For that reason, I end up making somewhat defensive posts that represent me as being anti-transgender.

It doesn't make you a bigot - though note that transphobia is so widespread, so ingrained in western culture, so ubiquitous, that someone implying you may hold transphobic attitudes is...well, to be honest, it's a bit like them suggesting that you breathe oxygen. Many/most trans people have to overcome internalized transphobia in themselves thanks to years and years of social conditioning, media bombardment, etc. It is very difficult to live in western society and not have at least SOME internalized transphobia.

Which doesn't make it good, or anything, and it's generally a pretty good practice to try to work through it as much as possible. Also, obviously, there are degrees, some of which are genuinely pretty inexcusable. But anyway, you get my point, I hope.


So back to what I was saying - it doesn't make you a bigot, but for a lot of us, it does kind of...raise the specter of some pretty ugly stuff, notably the "everyone is just humoring me while smirking/rolling their eyes behind my back" kind of stuff I mentioned earlier. It's the idea that, sure, people may go through the motions, make the correct sympathetic noises, etc., but they don't really buy it. They don't really think of you as a woman (or a man, for those trans men out there). It's just a polite fiction, something like "Do I look fat in this?" extrapolated to a fundamental aspect of our identities.

And...I mean, there's really nothing we can do about it. We can't police people's thoughts, and even if we could, it'd be kind of a crappy thing to do. We can't read minds (thank god). It's often not even something that the other person is doing consciously - it's just that damn social conditioning again.

So, yeah, it sucks. Hell, even the subject of this thread - in essence, "Would you date a trans person?" - is a little dehumanizing, because it's just another instance of us being the "other", the off-brand version, the almost-but-not-quite.

 

[Union Carbine]

There is a great deal of thought, but you are correct in the absence of compassion; I tried to be as unemotional as possible in contexts such as this, namely, that of a public forum. And while that comic is amusing enough that I'm going to bookmark it, it is not really applicable, as this thread is a perfectly reasonable location in which I can ask for such explanations. If you are unwilling to read my posts, feel free to refrain from doing so, but please do not tell me that I must leave because you disagree with them. That defeats the entire purpose.

No right to what? Engage in critical thinking? Form my own opinions rather than memetically repeating a slew of designated statements?

garrulous
adjective gar·ru·lous \ˈger-ə-ləs, ˈga-rə- also ˈger-yə-\

1: given to prosy, rambling, or tedious loquacity : pointlessly or annoyingly talkative
2: wordy <garrulous speeches>

 

[Dai Kaiju]

I wonder how many people other than myself came into this thread with the intention of contributing to the discussion, read the first page, and thought to themselves... "Nope."

I am so incredibly confused. For example, I didn't even know cisgender was an actual term and had to google it. I heard it for the first time on South Park and figured it was a joke that I didn't get.

 

[Faustek]

I get the impression there are a lot of people playing devil's advocate or just straight up trolling in this thread. I find it supremely hard to believe that this many straight males would knowingly date a transgendered woman. Now befriending the woman is an entirely different matter.

Hmm, not playing devil's advocate now just retelling a story from 10+ years back.

We're in Thailand, in Phuket i think. Can't really remember. Anyway, friend gets this genius idea that we should visit a bar with dancers. We go, have fun, some of us even join the stage to dance. Everything was pretty fun. Well this friend actually managed to talk this dancer there to join him in the private room. They go and everyone in the bar is laughing as they leave. We wonder why and the mama there says she was a Trans woman(sorry but I don't know any better word and I don't know if they take offence to it either). Well we laugh and keep on partying. I can work a effing pole ladies and gentlemen, even with my stature I think I was sexy as fuck.
Anyway, dude comes back about 45-60m later and we all look at him and he says with the most nonchalant voice "well I already paid for her" and "it was new and fun".

No one of us really cared. Just another fun story of stupid shit we friends can share and as far as I know he has always been straight and he still is.

I am so incredibly confused. For example, I didn't even know cisgender was an actual term and had to google it. I heard it for the first time on South Park and figured it was a joke that I didn't get.

I know that feeling. Sometimes I think the world is just passing me by and the only thing I can do is to keep my mouth shut and try to see the good in everyone and just accept that we're all different. Even when I find it strange(those scarring tattoos are just..)I just need to remind myself that this world is big enough for everyone and that we all need hugs. And pancakes.

 

[Mumei]

Hmm, not playing devil's advocate now just retelling a story from 10+ years back.

We're in Thailand, in Phuket i think. Can't really remember. Anyway, friend gets this genius idea that we should visit a bar with dancers. We go, have fun, some of us even join the stage to dance. Everything was pretty fun. Well this friend actually managed to talk this dancer there to join him in the private room. They go and everyone in the bar is laughing as they leave. We wonder why and the mama there says she was a Ladyboy(sorry but I don't know any better word and I don't know if they take offence to it either). Well we laugh and keep on partying. I can work a effing pole ladies and gentlemen, even with my stature I think I was sexy as fuck.
Anyway, dude comes back about 45-60m later and we all look at him and he says with the most nonchalant voice "well I already paid for her" and "it was new and fun".

No one of us really cared. Just another fun story of stupid shit we friends can share and as far as I know he has always been straight and he still is.

I know that feeling. Sometimes I think the world is just passing me by and the only thing I can do is to keep my mouth shut and try to see the good in everyone and just accept that we're all different. Even when I find it strange(those scarring tattoos are just..)I just need to remind myself that this world is big enough for everyone and that we all need hugs. And pancakes.

On this forum, use "trans woman" or "trans man" as necessary. Ladyboy is highly offensive, similar to terms like "she-male" or "he-she" or the like.

 

[Petrie]

On this forum, use "trans woman" or "trans man" as necessary. Ladyboy is highly offensive, similar to terms like "she-male" or "he-she" or the like.

Is it offensive when he is quoting someone though? I mean, those were the words said.

 

[Erin S Kittens]

See, this is why we can't have nice things. I know some of you are going to take objection to this and tone police me to avoid addressing the message, but let's just call it what it is. This thread is a monument to pervasive cisgender male privilege from a group of people who won't acknowledge it exists and don't understand how fucking evil it is to live in this world full of oppressive, ignorant people as a trans individual. So many people in this thread, speculating about what it's like to be transgender, projecting all of their misguided preconceptions and prejudices into it, just having a huge privileged circlejerk, trying to take the role as the gatekeepers to our humanity. Desexualizing us, ignorantly defining us, ignorantly attempting to speak to our experiences, going off outdated stereotypes. This thread is completely fucking littered with uneducated opinions from people who dare to tell trans-identified individuals that their perspectives and experiences have no place in this conversation. People calling for things that are a 'little bigoted' to be glossed over rather than called out. Even the cisgender people who seem to mean well are, largely, not educated on the subject and feeling free to speak to the trans experience as if they are. It's disgusting and disturbing. Cissexism and transphobia (particularly transmisogny) are problematic, bigoted societal norms, and so many of you are perpetuating them and acting as if it's legit to be an oppressive asshole.

A significant portion of the transgender community prefer to partner up within the queer/trans community for a lot of different reasons, but having an astronomically higher chance of being treated and seen as a human being instead of a litmus test for all your fucking insecurities and ignorances is high on that list.

Is it offensive when he is quoting someone though? I mean, those were the words said.

The person Mumei was quoting asked for clarification.

 

[Mumei]

Is it offensive when he is quoting someone though? I mean, those were the words said.

He said he didn't know a better word to use. I was answering that question. That's all. Obviously, I'm not going to ban someone simply because they quoted someone else's language accurately.

 

[Aiustis]

See, this is why we can't have nice things. I know some of you are going to take objection to this and tone police me to avoid addressing the message, but let's just call it what it is. This thread is a monument to pervasive cisgender male privilege from a group of people who won't acknowledge it exists and don't understand how fucking evil it is to live in this world full of oppressive, ignorant people as a trans individual. So many people in this thread, speculating about what it's like to be transgender, projecting all of their idiot preconceptions and prejudices into it, just having a huge privileged circlejerk, trying to take the role as the gatekeepers to our humanity. Desexualizing us, ignorantly defining us, ignorantly attempting to speak to our experiences, going off outdated stereotypes. This thread is completely fucking littered with uneducated opinions from people who dare to tell trans-identified individuals that their perspectives and experiences have no place in this conversation. People calling for things that are a 'little bigoted' to be glossed over rather than called out. Even the cisgender people who seem to mean well are, largely, not educated on the subject and feeling free to speak to the trans experience as if they are. It's disgusting and disturbing. Cissexism and transphobia (particularly transmisogny) are problematic, bigoted societal norms, and so many of you are perpetuating them and acting as if it's legit to be an oppressive asshole.

A significant portion of the transgender community prefer to partner up within the queer/trans community for a lot of different reasons, but having an astronomically higher chance of being treated and seen as a human being instead of a litmus test for all your fucking insecurities and ignorances is high on that list.

I agree with all this.

 

[CapitalismSucks DonkeyBalls]

See, this is why we can't have nice things. I know some of you are going to take objection to this and tone police me to avoid addressing the message, but let's just call it what it is. This thread is a monument to pervasive cisgender male privilege from a group of people who won't acknowledge it exists and don't understand how fucking evil it is to live in this world full of oppressive, ignorant people as a trans individual. So many people in this thread, speculating about what it's like to be transgender, projecting all of their idiot preconceptions and prejudices into it, just having a huge privileged circlejerk, trying to take the role as the gatekeepers to our humanity. Desexualizing us, ignorantly defining us, ignorantly attempting to speak to our experiences, going off outdated stereotypes. This thread is completely fucking littered with uneducated opinions from people who dare to tell trans-identified individuals that their perspectives and experiences have no place in this conversation. People calling for things that are a 'little bigoted' to be glossed over rather than called out. Even the cisgender people who seem to mean well are, largely, not educated on the subject and feeling free to speak to the trans experience as if they are. It's disgusting and disturbing. Cissexism and transphobia (particularly transmisogny) are problematic, bigoted societal norms, and so many of you are perpetuating them and acting as if it's legit to be an oppressive asshole.

A significant portion of the transgender community prefer to partner up within the queer/trans community for a lot of different reasons, but having an astronomically higher chance of being treated and seen as a human being instead of a litmus test for all your fucking insecurities and ignorances is high on that list.

It's this kind of malice and vitriol that prevents others from taking your perspective and empathizing with you. Again, you are lumping all of the cisgendered (I can't stand that word) males into one category of being thoughtless implicitly bigoted assholes.

As one of those cisgendered males, how fucking dare you? I try my damndest to be as empathic as possible to every race/creed/gender imaginable. But when I am continually highlighted as a bigot, racist, transphobe, or whatever it infuriates me.

Try understanding that we are not all alike. I give you and others that same benefit and it's really egregious when that same respect is not returned because you fell insulted by a handful of people and choose to extrapolate that to a whole population.

 

[King Cobra]

She was born a girl, but with a gender sex (primary and secondary sexual characteristics) that didn't match up with her gender identity (how her brain is wired).

Please don't lie, He was born a male and went through hormone treatment to make himself appear more feminine.

 

[Petrie]

He said he didn't know a better word to use. I was answering that question. That's all. Obviously, I'm not going to ban someone simply because they quoted someone else's language accurately.

I was genuinely asking. I just wanted to know if you need to edit such things in a quote or not. That's all.

Appreciate the clarification!