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[Martinski43]

Okay so reviews for the movie event of the year has started to arrive.

http://ew.com/movies/2017/10/20/geostorm-review-ew/

What if Armageddon but weather? That seems to be at least one of the half-baked pitches that led to Geostorm, a disastrous disaster movie that is actually quite low on the disasters to its own detriment.

Rating: D

http://www.azcentral.com/story/ente...ss-not-enough-gerard-butler-review/779809001/

Let's be honest: You don't go into something like ”Geostorm" thinking it's going to be great. But there are things you expect to see, and actually hope for. For instance, Gerard Butler swaggering around for a couple of hours as a wisecracking action hero? Sign me up. Whiz-bang visual effects depicting the destruction of major cities around the globe? Neat-o! But when the movie can't even fulfill those relatively meager pleasures, you're left with a big, boring mess like ”Geostorm." It's an action movie without an exciting moment. It's a special effects flick with chintzy visuals. And it's a Gerard Butler vehicle without enough Gerard to go around.

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

https://www.avclub.com/the-ridiculous-geostorm-gives-new-meaning-to-the-term-1819709151

In the tradition of KFC's Famous Bowl—famously described by Patton Oswalt as ”a failure pile"—comes Geostorm, which attempts to be every possible apocalyptic weather-based disaster movie at once. Set just a few years from now, it imagines that the world's nations have collaborated to build a vast system of satellites that somehow prevent the most catastrophic effects of climate change. Unfortunately, the system gets hacked, and the satellites are turned against humanity, creating weather events far more extreme than anything Mother Nature can concoct. A sudden heat wave causes underground Hong Kong gas mains to explode, sending cars skyward on fireballs. Tsunamis of cold literally turn beachgoers into ice statues, frozen in mid-stride as they flee. People are crushed by enormous boulders of hail. And these are just isolated incidents—unless someone regains control of the satellite system, its attacks will eventually trigger a chain reaction, leading to a global ”geostorm" that could wipe out much of the human race.

Rating: D+

http://variety.com/2017/film/reviews/geostorm-review-dean-devlin-1202595240/

When it comes to the issue of global warming, the world divides into two camps: those who believe in science, and those who adopt an actively skeptical position toward other human beings' ability to interpret and in any way impact what nature has in store. An inanely spectacular disaster movie — though perhaps ”spectacularly inane" would be more apt — from the producer of ”Godzilla" and ”Independence Day," Dean Devlin's ”Geostorm" attempts to have it both ways, treating a gang of scientists who've ”solved" the problem of global warming as its heroes while exploiting how little its target audience knows about the subject to supply an extreme-weather clip reel with contributions of variable quality from a dozen different visual effects houses.

Rating: 10 of 100 (Metacritic)

http://www.metacritic.com/movie/geostorm
Currently 19 of 100

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/geostorm
Currently 21%

 

[Rvaan]

This thing is out now? GREAT! Now the adds will stop! I'm free!

 

[Succinct Verbosity]

When I first saw the trailer for this I honestly believed it was like a joke trailer from Tropic Thunder.

 

[shaneo632]

Getting drunk now to go see it later. Looks awful, can't wait.

 

[Shalashaska]

I saw the poster and thought Inception was coming out again in theatres.

 

[NealMcCauley]

Still reviewing better than Snowman. I doubt anyone involved was expecting that.

 

[TangoAlphaLima]

Honestly better reviews than I would have assumed from the quality of the trailers.

 

[jph139]

GEOSTORM is, if nothing else, the greatest movie title of the decade.

 

[Martinski43]

Review from a swedish paper. Google translated, so.

http://www.gp.se/nöje/film/katastroffilm-bortom-all-räddning-1.4752440

Here it has been chosen back and forth with the premiere date. It's never a good sign. The film company Warner does not seem to really know what to do with the Geostorm disastrous movie, which cost a real slant to record but which is sadly acted, coherent, plotty and aptly, which will spread very quickly.

Rating: 0 out of 5.

 

[Devilgunman]

I knew it’s gonna be shit. Ads about this movies are all over my social media. That’s the bad sign.

 

[MadLaughter]

The ScreenCrush review is pretty great:

The 90-odd minutes before that are a different kind of terrible; the kind that makes you question your decision to travel 45 minutes to a theater in Bayonne, New Jersey at 9:45 on a Thursday night to watch the directorial debut of Dean Devlin, one half of the writing team that gave us Stargate, Independence Day, and the bad Godzilla with Matthew Broderick. Devlin’s work behind the camera here makes it immediately clear why he spent the previous 25 years of his career not directing things. Geostorm is so punishingly bad it makes Independence Day: Resurgence look like Last Year at Marienbad. (Or at least its less well-known sequel, Last Year at Marienbad: Resurgence.)

It gets pretty spoilery though, but who cares. It's Geostorm.

 

[Tankard]

It must be terrible but i will enjoy it nonetheless.

 

[Surfinn]

Review from a swedish paper. Google translated, so.

http://www.gp.se/nöje/film/katastroffilm-bortom-all-räddning-1.4752440

Rating: 0 out of 5.

Damn

a 0

 

[Violence Jack]

Heard GAF talking about this movie for a while, yet haven't seen a single ad for it.

 

[Transistor]

It must be terrible but i will enjoy it nonetheless.

Yep. I ain't gonna pay to see it though. I'll wait until netflix

 

[shaneo632]

Still reviewing better than Snowman. I doubt anyone involved was expecting that.

Only 17 reviews though. Bet it sinks.

 

[Permanently A]

It's sad that this movie is getting marketed to hell and back but blade runner is gonna be a flop

 

[norm9]

Looks fun. I'd see this before Blade Runner.

 

[Martinski43]

This thing is out now? GREAT! Now the adds will stop! I'm free!

I have also been bombarded with ads for it when watching NFL.

 

[MadLaughter]

Looks fun. I'd see this before Blade Runner.

Read the reviews. Most say that the disaster movie has barely any disasters in it.

 

[yanipheonu]

As a lover of schlock disaster films, I can't wait for this movie lol

 

[Slayven]

I hope there is this line in the movie

"There is a storm a brewing........a Geostorm"

 

[Pop-O-Matic]

Guess we'll just have to settle for the OTHER "future tech goes crazy and causes disasters" film this year.

 

[Ridley327]

I hope there is this line in the movie

"There is a storm a brewing........a Geostorm"

Not that exact line, but they do specifically call the disaster a Geostorm in the trailer.

 

[kadotsu]

Kermode makes it sound like it's the final piece I needed for my triple feature alongside Gods of Egypt and Book of Henry.

 

[Sgt. Kabukiman]

I just love the fact that somebody greenlit a movie called Geostorm.
I look forward to renting it. And I mean that 100%.

 

[Insane Metal]

This looks like crap. Also, it has Gerard Butler + Ed Harris + Andy Garcia.

Will see this tonight with the GF, can't wait lol

 

[Slayven]

Guess we'll just have to settle for the OTHER "future tech goes crazy and causes disasters" film this year.

What the hell is a redivider?

 

[Martinski43]

Guess we'll just have to settle for the OTHER "future tech goes crazy and causes disasters" film this year.

Did they hire the artist who did the Spiderman homecoming poster?

 

[Surfinn]

I just love the fact that somebody greenlit a movie called Geostorm.
I look forward to renting it. And I mean that 100%.

Kinda reminds me of a similar self awareness that Snakes on a Plane had. Only that movie was entertaining

 

[yanipheonu]

I hope there is this line in the movie

"There is a storm a brewing........a Geostorm"

Straight from the trailer.

"There's a potential for catestrophic weather events on global scale."
Dramatic music sting
"...A Geostorm."

The hacks play it completely straight XD lol

 

[Elitist1945]

I don't bother with disaster movies anymore. 2012 set the bar too high for disaster flicks. And I mean that. 2012 was a legit good disaster movie, and can't be topped.

 

[Slayven]

I just love the fact that somebody greenlit a movie called Geostorm.
I look forward to renting it. And I mean that 100%.

Perfect lazy sunday afternoon viewing.

 

[Surfinn]

Geostorm trailer got a lot of laughs in the theater I was in.

The CGI looked fucking wonky

 

[Skel1ingt0n]

Buddy and I agreed to get shit faced and go to a matinee sometime after opening weekend (as to not distract anyone who actually wants to see this) and just do our own Mystery Science Theater.

Movie looks like absolute ass.

 

[timetokill]

Kinda reminds me of a similar self awareness that Snakes on a Plane had. Only that movie was entertaining

Snakes on a Plane wasn't actually intended to be named that in the end though, it only stayed that way because the internet heard about it and latched on.

 

[Martinski43]

Buddy and I agreed to get shit faced and go to a matinee sometime after opening weekend (as to not distract anyone who actually wants to see this) and just do our own Mystery Science Theater.

Movie looks like absolute ass.

Sounds like something i would be down with.

 

[NealMcCauley]

Busty in the BO thread heard you can tell what's original and what's re-shot by looking at Butler's stubble.

Only 17 reviews though. Bet it sinks.

No doubt.

 

[The Elite]

They should have just made a GI Joe weather dominator movie instead.

 

[Rvaan]

Busty in the BO thread heard you can tell what's original and what's re-shot by looking at Butler's stubble.

Could this be worse than Kate Mara's wig in F4?

 

[the anime man]

Movie looks fucking incredible. I can’t wait.

 

[jack_package_200]

 

[Sgt. Kabukiman]

Kermode makes it sound like it's the final piece I needed for my triple feature alongside Gods of Egypt and Book of Henry.

Oh god, this is now one of my favorite Kermode reviews. "More stupid than Angels & Demons." I can't wait.

Perfect lazy sunday afternoon viewing.

Yep. Devlin & Emmerich (and Gerard Butler to a lesser extent) were born to make our sunday afternoons a lot more fun.

 

[SamuelSupreme]

Sigh, im getting dragged to this for a reunion with friends....the options were this and IT and I couldn't convince anyone else to choose the better movie.

 

[Martinski43]

 

[Surfinn]

Snakes on a Plane wasn't actually intended to be named that in the end though, it only stayed that way because the internet heard about it and latched on.

Right

But it's still self aware

 

[StopMakingSense]

I'm hoping for something along the lines of a new The Core

I mean I know it won't be, but that's the hope.

 

[Sweeney Tom]

lol at this not only having better reviews than The Snowman, but it not even being close (14% difference on RT)

 

[Alebrije]

So it seems Blade Runner will keep the best sci-fi movie of the year.

 

[Martinski43]

lol at this not only having better reviews than The Snowman, but it not even being close (14% difference on RT)

The Snowman is a huge disappointment for me, was legit looking forward to it.

The previous movie based on a Nesbö book was legit good af. Headhunters. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1614989/