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I think I'm getting fired on Thursday.

22:22:22

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
I also told the mustachioed fat security dude who looked like Richard Jewell "Was Mary Veckers an actual whore and was upset that Fido found out?".
All I got was a blank stare.
Lies No GIF
 

German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief

j0hnnix

Gold Member
German Hops German Hops

Just list the company as a reference with your bosses name, but a friend's number.


That is literally how I got the job I have now. 6yrs in and they have never realized it.
If you really don't want the job because of uncomfortable interview, but they still ask for references provide fake boss name Mike Hawk and send them to star bucks or dominos.
 

German Hops

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief
I cuss like a sailor at work. Maybe I should rein it in.
You should be good if you work at a construction site or other blue collar environment.

When you work in a stuck up office, though, these people are softer than unicorn shit.
Any little thing will cause them to get hurt feelings.
That's my perspective, though.
I'm not saying the person didn't have a right to get offended.
That said, I'm glad I'm gone, to be honest.
 
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You should be good if you work at a construction site or other blue collar environment.

When you work in a stuck up office, though, these people are softer than unicorn shit.
Any little thing will cause them to get hurt feelings.
That's my perspective, though.
I'm not saying the person didn't have a right to get offended.
That said, I'm glad I'm gone, to be honest.
You have to be a professional from the time you clock in to the time you clock out and it’s that simple because your reputation is always on the line.

If you plan to work white collar jobs for a living you have to be professional or else your always going to have a hard time. This is the deal you make when you decide to collect money from a corporation.

No one is your friend at work so don’t try and talk to them like that because your reputation is always on the line and it will back fire.

This is the soul sucking part of working at those type of jobs. But if you just do your job, do what is asked of you and go home you will last longer at these jobs.

Co workers can be nosy, jealous and bat shit crazy but if you don’t give them enough ammo to hurt you they will usually leave you alone.
 

Eotheod

Member
This thread is making me reconsider the language I use at the office.
Just don't be a cunt really. Read the room, if you can, and just don't say stupid shit. Best advice I ever got was "if you wouldn't say it in front of your mother then you wouldn't say it in front of colleagues."

Granted, I live in Australia so quite literally our workplaces encourage larikin behaviour and taking the piss so 🤷
 
You should be good if you work at a construction site or other blue collar environment.

When you work in a stuck up office, though, these people are softer than unicorn shit.
Any little thing will cause them to get hurt feelings.
That's my perspective, though.
I'm not saying the person didn't have a right to get offended.
That said, I'm glad I'm gone, to be honest.
I work in software dev lol.
 

Brigandier

Member
I am sick of saying this to people but I'll say it again.

The vast majority of people you work with are NOT your friends, Don't treat them like a friend, don't speak to them like a friend either, Don't divulge anything about your life or your real friends lives to them etc etc.

Just keep it simple, polite and professional and like another poster said read the room with your choice of words around people especially women or SJWs and good lord especially the blue purple green haired variants, Try to just say hello and bye to these types unless absolutely necessary.

If you need to talk about stuff that badly and need to swear and be a jerk wait til your break and phone a buddy and call him a fucking cunt and put the phone down or something 🤣
 

Ownage

Member
You have to be a professional from the time you clock in to the time you clock out and it’s that simple because your reputation is always on the line.

If you plan to work white collar jobs for a living you have to be professional or else your always going to have a hard time. This is the deal you make when you decide to collect money from a corporation.

No one is your friend at work so don’t try and talk to them like that because your reputation is always on the line and it will back fire.

This is the soul sucking part of working at those type of jobs. But if you just do your job, do what is asked of you and go home you will last longer at these jobs.

Co workers can be nosy, jealous and bat shit crazy but if you don’t give them enough ammo to hurt you they will usually leave you alone.
Watch out for the jealous part. They can be vindictive, as you now see, if they see you have more or live better than them. And beware outshining the boss.
 
I am sick of saying this to people but I'll say it again.

The vast majority of people you work with are NOT your friends, Don't treat them like a friend, don't speak to them like a friend either, Don't divulge anything about your life or your real friends lives to them etc etc.

Just keep it simple, polite and professional and like another poster said read the room with your choice of words around people especially women or SJWs and good lord especially the blue purple green haired variants, Try to just say hello and bye to these types unless absolutely necessary.

If you need to talk about stuff that badly and need to swear and be a jerk wait til your break and phone a buddy and call him a fucking cunt and put the phone down or something 🤣
the people i work with i wouldn't call them friends but we're quite a close group and all get on with each other really well and i'd go out of my way to help them out even outside work hours. we all know personal shit about each other and can talk openly about anything. but yeah it's best just to think people you work with don't give a fuck about you and and will happily fuck you over.

remember, everyone is only there because they're being paid to be there. not because they want to be with you.
 
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Thaedolus

Gold Member
After a couple drinks at a team building I once told a VP to “shut up you’re not the boss of everyone” …but I did it in a Napoleon Dynamite voice and everyone laughed.

Remember folks: you can get away with anything if it’s funny enough
 

Northeastmonk

Gold Member
I am sick of saying this to people but I'll say it again.

The vast majority of people you work with are NOT your friends, Don't treat them like a friend, don't speak to them like a friend either, Don't divulge anything about your life or your real friends lives to them etc etc.

Just keep it simple, polite and professional and like another poster said read the room with your choice of words around people especially women or SJWs and good lord especially the blue purple green haired variants, Try to just say hello and bye to these types unless absolutely necessary.

If you need to talk about stuff that badly and need to swear and be a jerk wait til your break and phone a buddy and call him a fucking cunt and put the phone down or something 🤣
At my last job, the team would give me grief for taking some extra time during seasonal onboarding. I did the majority of onboarding and I liked the people. One lady use to hand me an envelope with $100 in it. She did that because she knew I spent extra time with her. She was a very nice person. I miss her more than my actual team. They’d get up, walk out of the room, and go speak to the boss if you didn’t follow their orders. After a while, the whole team type of attitude went away. I liked the people around me more than my coworkers. I think you need to be friendly enough to work around and you need to be able to be real without being a fake person. Otherwise, the position will gradually eat at you and you’ll hate going to work. I agree, there are times where you’ll feel them push you under the bus. It’s good to protect yourself.
 

AJUMP23

Gold Member
I am sick of saying this to people but I'll say it again.

The vast majority of people you work with are NOT your friends, Don't treat them like a friend, don't speak to them like a friend either, Don't divulge anything about your life or your real friends lives to them etc etc.

Just keep it simple, polite and professional and like another poster said read the room with your choice of words around people especially women or SJWs and good lord especially the blue purple green haired variants, Try to just say hello and bye to these types unless absolutely necessary.

If you need to talk about stuff that badly and need to swear and be a jerk wait til your break and phone a buddy and call him a fucking cunt and put the phone down or something 🤣

They are Colleagues, not Friendleagues.

I have a great team that works for me and I would say some friends, but I'm in charge and we respect each other. Except for one guy, he is a jerk to everyone, but I don't want to get rid of him, because he does good work. He just sucks at communicating.
 

Bernoulli

M2 slut
Just don't be a cunt really. Read the room, if you can, and just don't say stupid shit. Best advice I ever got was "if you wouldn't say it in front of your mother then you wouldn't say it in front of colleagues."

Granted, I live in Australia so quite literally our workplaces encourage larikin behaviour and taking the piss so 🤷
It depends
With some you can use any language, but some just want to find a reason to fire you and get triggered by anything
Trigger Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
 
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