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NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #144 - "Entrance"

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I figured I would give this a shot and have just jumped over 2000 words with the story maybe 2/3 done.
Time to finish it off and grab the shears.
 

Mike M

Nick N
Extra long weekend meant I lost two revision passes.

I suppose I could have done them anyway, but... Ehhhhhh...
 

Iceman

Member
right there with you Beaniedude.. projecting at 3000 words for my short (as is my custom). But I optimistically will have time to produce a theatrical cut for submission. I've produced the mood I was hoping to achieve - and I'm experimenting with a (nearly) strict third person point of view that I'm hoping will prove vital to the impact of the climactic scene.

Now let me adjust this stick that I've place up my own bum...
 

Ourobolus

Banned
I'm gonna have to pound this out on Thursday. Urgh. I'm going to have to do a massive amount of research on squirrel wizardry.
 

Nezumi

Member
I still haven't started writing and my copy of MK8 arrived early... Hopefully I'll be able to put it down long enough to get something done. Especially since I already have an idea that I'm rather fond of.
 

B-Dubs

No Scrubs
I came in just over 1000, but I've still got a few days to edit or come up with something new that'll take me over 2000 :lol
 

itsinmyveins

Gets to pilot the crappy patrol labors
Oh, it's not over? Was sure it said that the deadline was the 27th and gave up a few days ago when I thought I wasn't gonna make it in time! Then maybe I'll actually try to finish this one – I'm 1000 words in so why the hell not!?
 

sqwarlock

Member
Been a busy couple of weeks and I haven't had time to start on this until just now. Two sentences in, and the secondary objective has already been broken without me realizing it right away. Stupid no death rule.
 

Ourobolus

Banned
Been a busy couple of weeks and I haven't had time to start on this until just now. Two sentences in, and the secondary objective has already been broken without me realizing it right away. Stupid no death rule.
Mwahahahaha...yes...find conflict elsewhere...mwahhaha...
 

sqwarlock

Member
Not killing characters is not that hard, people.

It's not that I killed a character, not at all. What I did was mention that my character must have, in a past life, pissed off someone who, when they died, became a god whose sole purpose was to annoy my character for eternity.

I mean, It's not a major death, but it still counts in my eyes and I've already changed it to remove the death reference.
 
I enjoyed writing this. I know it's not the best but I haven't written anything for ages so it's always great to whip out the keyboard and type. I hope everyone here loves rushed endings! (1993 words)

Harry and the Letters
The clock struck twelve. It was an ominous sound, one that Harry did not care for. He watched the pendulum swing back and forth, back and forth, never ceasing in its ultimately futile endeavour to break free of the confides of the glass casing. Maybe there was a lesson in all of it? Maybe he was meant to have grown as a human? Moved on? Harry certainly felt like he should have learnt something from these past few years but it all felt so… similar. It all felt the same.

He put down the drink he had been nursing as the last of the tolls echoed into the darkness. Your drinking will be the death of you, you know? The words came sudden and cut through the darkness lodging deep into his heart. God, he missed her. God, he was alone. Sally never approved of his drinking but then she didn’t approve of much these days. She couldn’t, not after he had lost her. It had been years since the great lion outbreak took Sally from him but for Harry it seemed like it happened just yesterday. Harry let out a defeated chuckle. “She loved the lions,” Harry mused, “Loved them to death. It was… what was it? Irony.” He took another sip of his drink, “Nah, that’s not the word.”
He sat in silence as the pendulum swung back and forth, back and forth. “Doesn’t matter,” he concluded, “Nothing matters. Not anymore.”
And yet, that wasn’t true. Something did matter and that’s what annoyed Harry. He glanced down to the table by his side and picked up the letter. He didn’t know why, he had poured over its contents time and time again hoping to glean meaning from the pages but every time he had returned defeated. He opened up the letter once more and read:

Dearest Harry
I will be amongst the moor on the night of our union.
Yours
Sally


And that was it. Harry was outraged by the letter. It had arrived through the letter slot a few days earlier which was weird because the postman didn’t deliver to his house. Harry had to send Charles down to the nearest town once a month to pick up the letters and supplies from the post office. Originally Harry put it down as a prank some kids had put together to try and get the ‘Big Old Scary Hermit’ out of his house but who would hike all the way out here to do that? And who knew that their marriage anniversary was approaching, that it was in fact tonight? Harry shook his head. It always came back to the handwriting. There was no mistaking it, the handwriting was that of Sally’s. The way she looped the “o”s and crossed the “t”s was unmistakable. Harry could spot it anywhere. Sally had to have written it. But then why the secrecy? If she had written it then why not enter the house instead of just slotting it through the door? Why was she waiting on the moor? Where in the moor? The moor was a big place.
Harry sighed with frustration. It didn’t matter anyway. Sally couldn’t have written the letter, not after he had lost her all those years ago. It was just a stupid prank by stupid kids. Nothing more. And yet there he stood by the double doors that opened onto the porch, teetering at the line that defined inside and outside, safety and danger. Harry could go out there now, go to the moor, just to be sure. He had to know, no matter how slim the chance that it could be Sally, he had to be sure. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if we never tried and yet…
It had been three years now. Three long years. Ever since the outbreak Harry had kept to himself mostly. Charles would drop by every now and again with supplies so it gave Harry no reason to venture past these double doors. Agoraphobia. That’s what the quacks called it but Harry ignored them. He wasn’t scared of leaving his house. He just… didn’t need to.
But now he needed to so why was it so damn hard? Harry let the doors swing inwards under the force of the wind. The rain buffeted his face but he kept his ground. He forced himself to stare into the night, to steel himself for the step he was about to take.
But the step never came. Harry was disgusted at himself. He couldn't bring himself to go outside, to enter the unknown. He punched the wall. "Pathetic", he murmured.

There was a rustle in the surrounding bushes and a man dragged himself onto the road. His leg was limp and bleeding. Harry suspected he was seriously hurt but couldn’t make out anything else in the blinding rain.
“Help me.” Croaked the man above the howling storm.
Harry hesitated. He glanced at the imposing double doors that marked the entrance to his house. He wanted to help. He truly did but…
“Help me.” Croaked the man again. “Please.”
The stranger was slowly dragging himself towards the porch. His hands clawed into the dirt as he inched closer and closer. Harry could see he was covered in cuts and bleeding quite badly. He probably had taken a blow to the head. But how? And why now of all times?
“Why won’t you help me?” Gasped the stranger.
Harry stood nervously by the doorway. He shuffled his feet from side to side and glanced at the door again. “I’m sorry.” Harry shouted. “I’ll just be… I just have to…”
He trailed off, “I can’t!”
“What!?”
“I can’t.” Repeated Harry.
“You can’t?” came the incredulous reply.
“Hey don’t call me that.”
“Are you… I’m bleeding here!”
“Wait… just hang on!”
Harry fled back into the house leaving the cursing man behind him. Charles wasn’t due for another few days and that man probably couldn’t survive that long. Harry ran to the kitchen to grab some supplies before heading back to the entrance. “Hold on!” Shouted Harry, “I’ll throw you this rope.”
“Are you serious?” came the reply but closer than Harry expected. He turned and saw the stranger propped up against the door frame, bleeding on his porch. “Now I don’t suppose…” Started the stranger, “I’m losing a lot of blood.”
Harry came to his senses and helped the stranger to his study. Sally had always badgered him to learn rudimentary first aid but he never did. He never found the time, at least that’s what he told himself. He leafed through the first aid boxes he had gathered.
The stranger looked at Harry reading a bottle, “What are you doing?”
“I don’t know.” Admitted Harry.
“Look, give me that. Give me that! Alright well I should be glad that at least one of us knows rudimentary first aid. Now I want you to run down and fetch me some water. Actually no, do you have any brandy? That would be better. Yeah, the whole bottle. Oh and a mirror while you’re out there. Actually get me some water too. I’ll probably need it later. Tell you what, there’s a very high chance of me going into hypovolemic shock, I have lost a lot of blood, so if you happen to have an IV drip anywhere that would great if not, well… Call the hospital too could you? Actually don’t, they’re probably already in there. Just grab the stuff. Thanks.”
Harry slowly stood up. “W...what?” He stammered.
“Brandy, Water, Mirror. Go!”

The clock struck three. Harry was relieved in a way. The stranger, who had identified himself as George had managed to patch himself up, God knows how, and had assured Harry that he was in a stable condition. When Harry enquired as to how he knew this George had replied “Because my throat is a little hoarse!” much to the amusement of George and only George.
Harry slipped back into the room. “So George,” Harry said, “Do you mind telling me how you came to be here?”
George shifted in the couch so that he could see Harry. “Look, whatever your name is. I’m truly grateful for your help. Really I am, but right now I need some sleep, rest and shut eye. So a few hours would be great as I recover from a near fatal wound.”
“It’s Harry.”
“What?”
“My name is Harry.”
“Well goodnight Har-” A wave of realisation passed across George’s face which quickly gave way to a pained expression. “Oh no.” He muttered to himself. “You’re Harry. You’re the one the letters talked about.”
“Letters? What letters?”
George pulled himself so he was sitting upright and swiveled towards Harry. “Look.” he began, “I’m a part of the Lion Tamers Association, the first line of defence between us and the lions. Now before you write me off as crazy keep in mind that I have taken a lot of drugs recently so if anything I’m delirious.”
Harry pulled up a chair and sat down. “Go on.”
“Three years ago there was a massive lion outbreak across the globe. Lions came out from nowhere and ran rampant through our cities.”
“They said it was the hormones leaking down from the weather balloons.”
“They’re idiots. It was a group of highly trained Lion Sympathisers that had mastered the art of hypnotism. They had spent years slowly entrancing Zoo Keepers and Lion Tamers from all across the globe to unleash lions onto the human populace at a designated time so that lion kind could reclaim their rightful place at the head of the world. Unfortunately for them they forgot that humans had access to ranged weaponry and the uprising didn’t last long. I agreed to the hush up mainly because of the money. They gave me a lot of money. You keeping up?”
Harry managed a “Huh.”
“So there weren’t many Lion Tamers left anymore because they had all gone crazy. I was fine though. My dad taught me how to block a psychic attack when I was a boy. Anyway, a year or so back I noticed something on the television that caught my eye. This senator was petitioning for open air lion sanctuaries which I thought was mighty strange. Anyway, I did some digging, everyone that was backing that had only recently come into power with no other political history behind them which could only mean one thing.”
“The Lion Sympathisers became senators.”
“What? No. The Lions are masquerading as senators. Only logical explanation really. You can tell when they lick their lips.”
“What?”
“So I get this letter a couple of days back. Telling me that they had proof. No idea how they knew I knew but hey don’t bite a gift horse in the mouth and all that. They gave me these GPS coordinates and told me to meet them there. Said a guy called Harry could help.”
Harry brushed that piece of information away and asked “What was the letter signed?”
“‘S’, just the letter ‘S’.”
The moments ticked by. “So I figure,” continued George, “How are you going to help me?”
Harry stood up slowly and glanced at the grandfather clock by the entrance. There was still time. “Excuse me,” Harry muttered and walked downstairs amidst the cries for answers.
"If everything George said was true, which was a big if, then maybe Sally had something to do with that tragic day three days ago. In that case maybe she was... I mean, she could be. I have to be sure.” Harry thought.
And so Harry took a step through the massive double doors which was really an entrance into the unknown in order to find his lost wife who may or may not be alive and who may or may not be working for the lion sympathisers who may or may not exist and hence grow as a character.
 

Nezumi

Member
Count me out. There's just too much going on here (friends visiting) for me to be able to sit down and write a story. The rest of the weekend is super busy as well and I wouldn't have time to read all the stories anyway.
Sucks because I liked what I have planned for this quite a bit. But maybe I can use it for one of the next challenges.
 

Ourobolus

Banned
Don't forget, guys. I'll post the submissions at 8:00AM PST tomorrow. I might give a little leeway if it's a few minutes after or something, but voting begins then!
 

Mike M

Nick N
Count me out. There's just too much going on here (friends visiting) for me to be able to sit down and write a story. The rest of the weekend is super busy as well and I wouldn't have time to read all the stories anyway.
Sucks because I liked what I have planned for this quite a bit. But maybe I can use it for one of the next challenges.

I too am out :(

Too much stress going on for me right now. Can't settle down enough to focus on writing a story.
New theme: Exit
 

B-Dubs

No Scrubs
Don't forget, guys. I'll post the submissions at 8:00AM PST tomorrow. I might give a little leeway if it's a few minutes after or something, but voting begins then!

I'm hoping to get mine in tonight. The middle portion needs a redo and the end could use some tightening up.
 
53955-Kramer-the-bet-Im-out-gif-TD4u.gif


I have never participated, but I do enjoy reading you guys's stuff.
 

Narrator

Neo Member
"Uncontested"

To be here now amongst the masses is fascinating. Whistles and hoots come from all around, while others scream and shout obscenities at the top of their lungs. This horde, so full of anger and emotion gives birth to a sick monster, a dark entity, filled to the brim with energy and showing no signs of stopping.

Being practically crushed by the hundreds around me wasn't nearly as bad as the heat being radiated by the thousands upon thousands of warriors breathing heavily and sweating profusely feinding for action. We all stood there, hungry for battle and thirsty for blood.

Their leader makes his way to the center and begins to shout. He calls out our leader and waits. We stand patiently, but when he doesn't appear he begins to mock him, telling us that he doesn't have the fortitude to stand face to face with his enemy. He stands there in front of all of us and begins to tell lies about or leader and continues to slander his name!

This sick monster begins to become uneasy. We look at each other for a sign, but nothing. Are we just to stand here as their leader spews these fabrications? Cocky now, he struts across the battlefield as if he has already achieved victory. Where is he, where is our great leader? Is he testing our loyalty? Dedication?

Enough! In the middle of their leaders words it happens. The glass shatters. It can be heard to the furthest of ranks. He has arrived! Those six strings might as well have been war drums pounding. This monster, so full of energy, bursting at the seams finally explodes. The roar was deafening. Our leader charges the enemy; and we follow. We watch as their leader stands there in disbelief, and with one lightning quick strike he falls to his knees. Lights out. Silence overtakes us and the sound of the body echoes. We erupt in cheers that can be heard from miles away and watch as our leader approaches the body and stands over it. He raises his hand and points out to us and ranted "Because Stone Cold said so!".
 

Mike M

Nick N
Spent all evening watching the Detroit Tigers stomp the Mariners, I'll upload in a bit. WE UPLOAD RIGHT NOW.

Nobody Dies Today
1,836 words, usual password

Taking that secondary objective seriously.
I don't know if this is parody, or fan fiction with the serial numbers filed off.
 

Ashes

Banned
So I'm going to post a difficult story. Perhaps it won't be a difficult story for you to read [who knows really?], but this is just a head's up.

Regulars will know that I tend do this in a cold distant fashion. So this warning is more for lurkers and newcomers. Seek help if it affects you.
 

Cyan

Banned
I'm going to post a crappy story. I thought it might be aight but I didn't develop the idea nearly as much as I needed to.

[/disclaimers]
 

itsinmyveins

Gets to pilot the crappy patrol labors
How many hours left to submit? I think I'm close to rushing this one in, but yeah.. It'd feel good to finally submit something. I've written countless of beginnings for various challenges here :p
 
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