MudoSkills said:

Edit: Nope

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zeemumu said:

Masturbation involving another person is mutual masturbation, and the confessor mentioned it as one of his steps on the banjo-laden road to incest.

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Arkos said:

"I tell you, I emptied my entire ballsack into my sister."

Welp

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

Jesus Christ.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

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CesspoolofHatred said:

We're about to see something terrible, aren't we?

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

Maybe

BTW, someone post this article for me if it already hasn't been. I think it's worthy of discussion.

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/11/29/magazine/the-serial-swatter.html?referer=

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

Jesus Christ.

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So, I was raised away from my cousins(im a dude btw) I would visit them maybe once a month if not less. I do have a big family though so it was not always with the same cousins. So anyway, I ended up getting hired at my now job. I started hanging with my girl cousin whenever I could and drink with her whenever I had to do a late start. One day we got so wasted that I ended up making out with her. Of course, she is a great looking girl. And I was out of it. I remember small bits of her resisting but eventually giving in. Idk things escalated and we started fucking in her living room..no one saw, I did leave her a hickey and her housband would be home later that day(he works night shifts). We tried taking it off with a spoon or Chapstick with semi-decent results. Anyway my younger cousin came in and noticed it and said wtf is that and we just said I did that pinch game on her neck to fuck with her..anyway my younger cousin was a little skeptical but nothing came of it. So anyway, a couple of weeks later I invited her over to my place to drink, and we started talking about it if it was an accident or how we both felt about it.. So we went at it again..this time with no distractions. Idk im into her but maybe its the fact that its in secret? I know it's wrong so I try to avoid hanging alone with her but she always tells me when are we hanging out alone once again. Haha. Crazy but thats my confession.

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I was never really close to my grandparents on my father's side. They lived up north, we were down south, and our visits were infrequent.
Everyone got together when my father died and I got to spend some time with them. I get along with them and love them... they are nice people for the most part.

... But I found out they hate cats. That's ok I guess, a lot of people don't like cats (their loss). However, I found out that my grandpa once discovered a bunch of kittens in his yard and killed them by putting them in a bag and suffocating them with gas. No remorse or second thoughts... they were just annoying pests to him.

I was heartbroken to hear of this. It was when he was much younger and I don't know if he did something like that ever again, but every time I speak to him now (not often, mind you) I think of this and am angry and sad on the inside. I grew up with LOTS of cats and can't imagine anyone doing this to a bunch of adorable, helpless kittens. My mom seemed repulsed as well. I'm glad my dad didn't inherit that hatred... now that I think of it, no one on that side of the family has a cat.

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CesspoolofHatred said:

Man, so much incest this year.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

WARNING. WARNING. WARNING.

The confession that I am about to post is not for the faint of heart. It's been sitting in the box for a long time, and I've been debating whether or not to put it up. I've decided to post it.

That said, I am warning you now. Do not click on this one if you don't have a strong stomach, are easily triggered, or love animals. Please, please, please do not click on this if you like animals.

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dreamcastmaster said:

Really, the warning is worse than the story, it's not even a confession it's a story about someone else's actions. It's nothing like bunny crushing which is what I assumed it would be. Just humane pest control.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

WARNING. WARNING. WARNING.

The confession that I am about to post is not for the faint of heart. It's been sitting in the box for a long time, and I've been debating whether or not to put it up. I've decided to post it.

That said, I am warning you now. Do not click on this one if you don't have a strong stomach, are easily triggered, or love animals. Please, please, please do not click on this if you like animals.

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I want to talk a bit about myself
English is not my native language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes and inconveniences or confusing terms i use+ my eccentric way of writing
They often say that collage years is the best years of life
To me, that was one huge lie, my life went all downhill from there.
When I was a kid, I was often considered to be one of the best students in the school, my grades were so high, I entered national competitions ,I thought I was smart , I loved my life back then
There was only one thing that was strange about me, I was timid and an introvert person in general

It didn't bother me so much because I had a loving family, great parents, really good friends whom I really like and still communicate to them to this day, they were wonderful

Then come college
And I was forced to study in my country, and leave my family and friends behind
Did I say that I was raised and born in a country that was not my home country?
Anyway they didn't allow me to study with my friends and family in my city because I was a filthy foreigner
It didn't bother me at first, because that means I have a chance to meet people like me, build myself and become independent and all that
Problems is , they deducted my scores and didn't allow me to apply to the collage I want because I was a filthy resident who didn't live in his home country – I don't know the exact term-, racism everywhere for me!

Anyway, because what they did, I was short just 0.1, from my preferred collage, the best one, I applied to another one with shitty facilities and so far away from my home, they didn't even have dorms! My High school had much better buildings and stuff, they don't even have emails I can use for registering on gaf! Madness!
But it doesn’t matter , this collage is highly regarded, and education is the most important part, they have high regarded lecturers and profs etc.
That’s what they said to me anyway.

So, my first year was good, I did really well in exams, and even though I am not social person, I found a friend who was just like me with his circumstances –lived and raised outside and had to return to study etc.-

The thing is, oddly enough , he had to move out from collage and go to somewhere else, it's like my happiness was just snatched away from me in a cruel way
It doesn't matter though, I just have to go on in my life, I finished my first year without problems.

Then came the 2nd year.

I had some nasty health problems that resulted in my absence for a while, as a result , my grades dropped a bit and failed at 1 subject, but the problem was not here, the problem is, the staff coordinator forced me to repeat the whole year! Because I failed at 1 subject, I felt devastated,it was a huge shock to me, to have a year without doing anything or advancing at all, I hated myself, I had to lie a bit for my parents but they found out about it anyway and they were shocked too, my mother cried a lot for me, I hated that feeling, that I disappointed them that much, all because of 1 little subject.

Anyway, fast forward to 1 year later, I repeated the year , with new collage mates who did already formed their social circles and I was left alone with no hope of making friends with any of them, my grades were even worse than before, but the real surprise was that I discovered that my grades in the previous year didn't guarantee me repeating at all! But because that prof. he forced me to repeat the year for literally nothing! He decided arbitrarily that my grades were not enough to advance without any need to do that in the first place……he basically wasted a whole year of my life for nothing….. I felt angry, depressed, loathed myself, and lost any motivation I had to study, I hated the collage, the exams, the lecturers , anything that remind me of collage in anyway, I feel like I have been traumatized by this ordeal.

So, with my third year, I was supposed to register like usual, but they said I should go to the academic office /staff office to meet a certain professor to discuss the matter, he didn't appear in my first visit because he was supposed to be busy, nor the 2nd or 3rd or 4th or 5th or 6th visit or…… eventually, I gave up.

Now I don’t bear to go to collage at all, not being able to go to classes like normal , plus whenever I go I just feel like shit just from listening to the crowd talking smartly about lectures and whatnot , this feeling is unbearable , I feel like I just became a stupid person, it feels like I can't do anything, can't memorize anything, I feel like I am not worthy in being in collage at all, I feel like I just hit a wall, I can't advance anymore, and it pains me sooooo much that I can't fulfill my dream of being a doctor, I feel like my life is basically over, I know this sounds ridiculous because I am still 22 years old and still a young person, but I just feel like I can't do anything right now even if I WANT to do it, some days I wake up and say to myself": Go study right now! You can do it! You used to be able to do it in the past!" but no matter what, no matter if I tried to do that in library or anywhere else, I just can't concentrate anymore, whenever I try to study, I just remember all the bad things that happened to me that was related to collage and give up.

I feel really stressed right now with just the mere mention of anything related to collage, assignment , school work, seminar, semester , university, class, lecture, medicine, etc. ,like for example just reading someone randomly on GAF saying that he is busy because of school work and can't play any game fill me up with dead and stress and self-loathing.

Now I am certain that I am pretty much expelled , I don't want to go and confirm it, I don't have the guts to do it, it's not like they care for me at all anyway because how they dealt with me and ignored me, I hate the mere sight of collage right now.
But my problem is…I don't want to give up! I don't want to hate studying , i want to continue, I want to achieve my dream, I don't want to be a disappointment to my parents and more importantly…myself

Sometimes I think of going to another collage but the problem is, there is no guarantee that I will become better, maybe I will just repeat the same mistakes, after all I don't think I can handle collage and academic staff anymore, I lost any self confidence I had, I don't have any self-esteem any more ,I feel like I lost my memorization skills, I lost any knowledge I had in the past, I even feel like my vocabulary is reduced and I can't talk well at all or express myself in a good way like a normal human being, I feel like I am an autistic person, maybe I really am, I can't interact with humans naturally and I prefer to be alone.

And it pains me to no end, I failed to raise to expectations of my parents after they were so proud of me, but I can't tell them that, they still think I am doing okay, I don’t want to pain them or let them suffer , I want to solve this problem myself, but I feel stressed whenever I hear my phone ringing and see their names, because I had to act like everything is okay and lie to them, I feel like shit, I hate answering my phone, and when I don’t they get mad and send me harsh messages telling me I am a cold person who don’t care about them….
I feel like I have a mobile phobia if that is a real thing……

The worst thing is…I feel like everything happened to me in the end was because of me, I can write all I want about my backstory and all that but in the end It is my fault, I wasn’t healthy enough, I didn’t have a strong personality, I was too kind, maybe I wasn’t smart enough, maybe videogames affected me, maybe medicine is not suited for a person like me, maybe I was too introverted for my own good, maybe I wasn't a social person enough, at least I will have some support and not and up alone, maybe maybe maybe maybe….

My future is bleak, I can't see myself achieving my dream, there is no way I can do it even if I have some hope and didn’t give up on it entirely , I wish I can just disappear I don’t want to die or commit a suicide –don't worry about that, suicide is dumb-, but I feel like i lost my will to live…

Anyway, I talked a lot and dragged this a bit, and it is clear my language is shitty and there is no cohesion in what I said , my mind is just like that, sorry for that, I don’t expect anyone to care about a loser and a pathetic person like me anyway, or help me in any real way –even though I want to-, I will most likely get insults instead, that’s okay, I deserve it anyway , I would love to get some help but I know it is impossible , at least I want to get some help on how to improve my expression skill and how to write like a pro..or a regular gaf member,I will appreciate it.
And before anyone says I should go to psychiatric , there isn't anyone available in where I live unfortunately, so this isn't an option.

looks like i wrote i giant wall text, that wasn't my intention ,Sorry for wasting your time and thank you for reading!

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

WARNING. WARNING. WARNING.

The confession that I am about to post is not for the faint of heart. It's been sitting in the box for a long time, and I've been debating whether or not to put it up. I've decided to post it.

That said, I am warning you now. Do not click on this one if you don't have a strong stomach, are easily triggered, or love animals. Please, please, please do not click on this if you like animals.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

I had this amazing follow up from Impregnator, and it has somehow vanished from the inbox.

Where the hell did it go

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Dryk said:

Which one? The one their fiancee's carrying, the one their lover is carrying or the one their other love is already raising?

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

Jesus Christ.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

WARNING. WARNING. WARNING.

The confession that I am about to post is not for the faint of heart. It's been sitting in the box for a long time, and I've been debating whether or not to put it up. I've decided to post it.

That said, I am warning you now. Do not click on this one if you don't have a strong stomach, are easily triggered, or love animals. Please, please, please do not click on this if you like animals.

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I've thought about sending this in for years. I had sex with my teacher. A lot. It began while I was in high school and only 15 years old. She was roughly 30 years older but was incredibly hot. I looked more manly than boyish even though I was only 15. No reason to spell it all out but the sex was amazing.

The fun would not last forever as my parents had some suspicions and they eventually found out along with the school and my classmates. I was so angry with my parents for putting an end to it and I threatened to leave home often. The only reason they didn't press charges was because they assumed I would never forgive them for it and leave. I really wanted to. I was convinced I was in love with this woman and that she was going to leave her husband for me. I developed stomach ulcers while going through all this and cried every day for a while. Despite my parents threatening to send her to jail if she contacted me again, she reached out to me anyways and I to her. Cell phones were just becoming mainstream and email wasn't really something I had so I didn't have many options on how to get ahold of her. Called her from a pay phone once. This whole ordeal really took it's toll on me and I was waiting to turn 18 so we could be together. I found out that she and her husband were on vacation while I was 17 and it pissed me off mightily. I don't know why but shortly after hearing that I just said "fuck it" and let it go. I still remember when I realized some time later that the ulcers were gone and how good it felt to be returning to normal.

Almost 20 years have gone by since then and in some ways I still feel messed up mentally. I'm happily married and have a beautiful child now. Life is beyond great. However, there are times were the memories of what went on and those feelings of "love" and abandonment come back. Very briefly and it has gotten better as time passes. Part of me wants closure but I don't think we always get that in life. I'm not even sure what closure means really. I'm some ways I wish she would have left me alone in the first place and at other times I wish she wouldn't have stopped reaching out to me. Sometimes I want her to pay for what she did. I know I was taken advantage of and a lot of times it's hard not to blame myself because deep down I knew better than to engage in that kind of thing. I still have a thing for "older" women but I don't struggle in anyway with being faithful to my wife.

I've often thought about seeing a therapist over the years. I've finally talked to someone recently that has helped me heal and have some form of closure. I wish I hadn't waited so long, though. It feels good to write this out.

More than anything I wish I hadn't put my parents through this. I know this entire thing was beyond agonizing for them and I didn't help matters in the way I pushed them away at the time. As much as I cried about all this I know my mom cried more and probably lost a lot of sleep. I should also mention my brother. He was younger than me and I know he felt like he got set aside for a few years. He did in some ways and I hate that this was part of his childhood. We have a great relationship now and I love all of my family dearly. As I got older I realized how great my parents were in how they handled it and I thanked them for what they did and apologized for being a real jerk during that time.

I grew up really fast going through all of this and feel like I missed out on the last portion of being a kid. I'm happy with who I am now, though. I made it through and life as it stands today is pretty great.

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dreamcastmaster said:

Really, the warning is worse than the story, it's not even a confession it's a story about someone else's actions. It's nothing like bunny crushing which is what I assumed it would be. Just humane pest control.

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-Deimos said:

I was expecting way worse from that description.

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Dishwalla said:

I mean it's still a terrible thing, but old timey people did stuff like that back then.

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EskimoJoe said:

Yeah, I gotta say, I was expecting some heart-crushing, soul-scarring terror. It was sad, sure. But that was probably overhyping it.

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Tinfoilhatsron said:

Remember that one in the 2012 one with Ronito, the guy who did that stuff to those kittens? That one was way, way worse because it was from someone in first person. Go back and read it.

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liliththepale said:

I'm not going to say that's the tamest confession we've had all month, but it's certainly a strange time to reinvoke the trigger warning.

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I did 8 years in a state pen. Amateur mistake got me arrested.

I was 19 at the time, and it was '93. lost my job and about to lose my apartment, I had no other solution to my problems. A friend (bob) and I we turned to robbery. Bob and I started small, liquor stores, gas stations, etc. over the course of a year we did like 9 stores. It was decent money for the time but, a short term solution to a long term problem.

First bank we hit we managed to get about $80k. pretty fucking good but, our luck ran out at the second. Talk about completely unlucky we were successfull, we had walked out with about $100k and were speeding to our safe area when we got pulled over. We had gotten stuck in traffic when a patrol car passed us. Thought for sure we had made it when it passed by but, nope suddenly it stopped turned on it's lights and sped towards us. Game over, we were fucked. Bob bolted out of the car and took off running but, ended up getting hit by a car. We had lost everything. Cops get out point their guns at us and slam us to the ground.

It was bound to end anyways. We had been ID'd at the last bank we went too so the Police now had suspects. So we were fucked regardless if we had hit that bank or not. Was going to get like 20+ years but, my parents got a good lawyer and I got off with 10, 8 for good behavior. Bob fucking snitched on me in exchange for a reduced sentence. Dunno what happened to the fucker after don't care either.

I only regret getting caught. Prison taught me how to be a better criminal and that I wasn't "cut out" for this shit. None the less I sometimes look at a gas station and think how easy it'd be hit it up. Am I a bad person? No, I never hurt a single person. Our guns weren't even real guns (thats actually one of the key reasons I wasn't doing serious time) to begin with. We never had any intention of hurting anyone.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

I guess it's just me then. I'll just go ahead and remove the tags. Maybe I just have a dead animal thing.

I have some confessions still here that I was setting aside... they're all trigger warning confessions. I think I've subconsciously been avoiding posting them :/

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ShinRPGamer said:

I don't think you want to put them all up in one go if you do decide to post them. I think you should get to uploading some of them sooner rather than later.

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Am I a bad person? No.

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Am I a bad person? No, I never hurt a single person. Our guns weren't even real guns (thats actually one of the key reasons I wasn't doing serious time) to begin with. We never had any intention of hurting anyone.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

This guy's lucky he wasn't shot.

lol. You got 80K cause you lost your job and apartment, decided that wasn't enough, tried to steal a hundred K, went to jail, and didn't even learn your lesson?

Danny Ocean, you are not.

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I'm a member of a hate group and a Teacher. Known as you guessed it the Ku Klux Klan. Let me preface by saying: I have reasons, and I'm not proud of it.

My family wasn't well off, we were poor, and this was all we could afford. My father lost his job at the office, and had to make do working as a mechanic, and my mom couldn't finda job. We lived in a very bad area of the inner city, in a rat infesed apartment. It wasn't safe to walk outside, it wasn't safe to be anywhere there, specially if you were white. We were the only whites on the block, and as such treated like dirt. Nobody looked out for us, nobody cared about us. At school I was bullied everyday by my peers. I was constantly getting into fights, constantly in trouble with the law because, I had nothing to lose. When I was 13 a few guys from school followed me home. They broke into our apartment during the middle of the day, and robbed us at gunpoint. Police were unsympathetic telling us "Choose to lie with animals. Don't be suprised if you get bit". We were left to our own devices.

There was a light though, it got better. About a year or so later after the robbery; my dad got an offer working at a bank at another city. He'd be making more then what he was making now (we'd still be struggling with money but, he had the chance to improve) and frankly life would be better. At first it was a struggle, we struggled to fit in, we struggled but, it was better here and our lives were better off for it. Life was good here, I was around my people, my dad was moving up the ranks (by final year in HS he was branch manager and making nice $$$) and my mom landed a new job as a counselor for the local middle school. A better man would have reflected upon this, used to to understand the plight of others but, I didn't I was among my "people" and that combined with my fathers racism and experiences taught me to hate blacks. It didn't help many of my friends were openly racist themselves, and the people I associated with were all white. It is said you are what your enviroment is, and I never had the chance to grow. I left home after school and went to a prestigous university.

One day while I was home visiting my dad invited me to spend the day with him and his "friends". I didn't know who they were, or why theyd want to talk to me but, frankly I was happy to meet them. My dad had a lot of friends in high places, said some of them could get me jobs if I wanted. Sure, I'd meet them but, how could I have know I was gunna join the KKK? I was 20 when I joined, and I never regreted it. They weren't the rednecks you see on TV< or in the media. Some of them were Police Officers, some were business owners, even doctors. It wasn't anything sinister, it was basically just a bunch of old white men talking about how our race was in danger. I lapped up every minute of it though.

But me being part of a hate group isn't the full story. Heres the part where I tell you why I feel I need to confess. I'm a teacher at HS, and frankly I'm not sure I should even say this. Last year I had a black student named "T", he was a football player and looked urban, and yet he was so smart and had so much potential. I tutored him reluctantly everyday because his coach wanted him too, and I was a Teacher and couldn't say no. I hated him, I hated the way he talked, the way he smelled, and just the way he looked: like an animal. Yet, I sympathized with him. He came from poverty, dad murdered his mom for money, gang, etc. He came to live with his uncle here and to go to school and one day play pro-football. Guy had a rough life like me, and was trying to make a difference. He had excellent grades but, it was math he struggled in.

He was brilliant despite his intial apperances and he had a goal in life. T tried so hard to pass, and I tried so hard to fail him without getting in trouble myself, I didn't like his race and I didn't want another entitled black getting money off his betters. It made me sick to see this "monkey" get extra help, while other more deserving didn't. I tutored him because, I was a Teacher I couldn't refuse him. He had one final chance: a final exam and if he passed he'd graduate. I was always split on him: i hated him for being black and yet I admired him for overcoming his difficulties in life to try and better himself. He blew it, T was poor even among the poor in this city. The test was stated for 9AM, and he was late. I was always looking for excuses to fail him, and this was my one chance. He missed the test because, he was late. Next day coach got the prncipal to reconsider it, and give him the test. I told them I would but, it had to be altered to be harder. They reluctantly agreed but, theyd have to "review it" first.

They approved of it, and I let the kid take the test. He passed by one point but, I found a loophole. The directions instructed he write out the problem in FULL or else it would be wrong. The answer was right but, I decided to "alter" the answer by erasing a few decimals and numbers to make it wrong. Each questionwas 10 points, and he had 7/10 right, soooo....now he had a 60 and that was failing. He failed and was not able to graduate, when he got the resuts back he wept. I didn't feel good, I felt so disgusted with myself. I didnt' see him as an animal but, as a human, a boy weeping as his future was ruined before his eyes. I didn't reverse the grade and he had to repeat his senior year. He never did get too as he dropped out the next year. I don't know why he dropped, he wasn't in my class next year, and despite my efforts he could have passed wih straight As.

You know what I'm ashamed of what I've done. I was young and stupid when I joined and geniunely bought into their BS about race superiority. When I saw T crying despite everything he had done, perhaps the one thing I always lacked: a heart grew. I started thinking more and the more I talked to many of the, the more I interacted with them the less enamoured I became with them. Only a few were "smart" most were just idiots fueld by hate. Yet still I supported them, I attended rallies, I posted on white power forums, I did everything I could to defend whites. I regret hating them, I rergret being a racist but, I feel it's too late for me to change. I wish I could have been born in a different life honestly. I'm still a teacher and thankfully with modern day attitudes towards race a lot of scrutiny is placed on me if I treat blacks and whites differently. I hope maybe one day I can change, maybe one day I can atone but, old habits die hard.

I know theres a place in hell reserved for me.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

This is gonna be the last confession of the night. The world is full of terrible people, and some of the worst of them are banal as fuck.



If this is true:

You're a fucking monster.

If this is false:

You're a fucking racist.

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Cloyster said:

Guy who tried to pretend to be a black person that hates white people, take notice. This is how you do it.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

This is gonna be the last confession of the night. The world is full of terrible people, and some of the worst of them are banal as fuck.

If this is true:

You're a fucking monster.

If this is false:

You're a fucking racist.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

Okay, I'm done for the night. That last one ticked me off.

Day 27 over. We're going till... Tuesday night. I currently have something like ten in the pipe worth posting. A few of them I've discounted. Been looking over some confessions and I'm beginning to think it's one person writing a few different things.

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Cloyster said:

Wait hold on, now I'm curious.

What are the tells? Sentence structure, grammar, subject matter?

Do you plug them into a word counter that checks for similarities?~

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

"I was never really close to my grandparents on my father's side."

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

"I found out that my grandpa once discovered a bunch of kittens in his yard and killed them by putting them in a bag and suffocating them with gas."

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RionaaM said:

Damn, another story about incest. Poor grandmother...


...OK, at least it's not incest.

Still sad and bad and ugly, but you know this thread is messed up when I'm kinda relieved to see some animal cruelty instead of yet more incest.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

Just a feeling I get. I had the same feeling after sifting through a few Confessions last year and realized they were from the same guy. Same feeling. But yeah, sentence structure, grammar, subject matter, it's all very similar. If it is the same person, posting these confessions is a disservice to people who are actually suffering.

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LowlySmokeGuy said:

I'm guessing mine will never be posted. Kind of surprised. It's kind of stupid, but not overly disgusting like some of this other shit, and it's definitely not evil.

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daveo42 said:

Well that sucks if someone's actually doing that. Now I'm curious about what the subject matter is if they are all the same. Seems like incest isn't on that list.

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NotTheGuyYouKill said:

Jesus Christ.

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Professor Beef said:

Hopefully mine isn't falsely flagged as fake.

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