nightez said:
Right if you actually bothered to read what I typed. I actually said in certain societies it is the norm to get married at an early age. I did not say she agreed or it is right, to be harmed or abused in anyway.
And it doesn't really matter that it is the norm to get married at an early age, cultural relativity is bullshit. There are also norms regarding female genital mutilation, it is fucking bullshit too.
nightez said:
Is that why the legal age is as young as 13 in some countries?
Oh please, the age of consent has nothing to do with the age you can be considered mature enough to marry. The age of consent is usually lower in order for teenagers to have sex with each other without any legal repercussions.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ef/Age_of_Consent.png
In general, civilized countries have AoC over 15, with a few outliers such as Japan and parts of South america, which do have additional laws and current law reforms aiming to heighten the age of consent.
nightez said:
You have been a child in a totally different society. Brought up in completely differently manner, with totally different norms and expectations placed upon you. Where I grew up and how I was brought up. We had to grow up much faster and we had to responsible from a very early age. Trust me by the time I was 13, I was far more mature and than any 13 year old growing up in the west. I was happily taking care of an entire family and making important life decisions.
You have no idea where I've grown up.
And it isn't relevant where I grew up, anecdotes aren't useful here. No girl is ready to take care of an entire family by the time she is 13, no 13 year old girl should be pressured into a marriage and possible family she will be stuck in for the rest of her life.
Nor should she have the choice to get into such an situation, if she really want it she should be able to wait until she is 18-20 and her body at the very least has gotten fully developed, making any complications during birth less likely.
nightez said:
That has not been my experience when I travelled around the world. Yes they are instances of abuse and forced marriages. But that is not always the case for everyone.
Wow, you are aware of the horrors that occur right underneath your nose, and yet you argue for this broken culture? Is it really that much of a sacrifice to let the girl grow up and not be intimidated or pressured by family and parents into a marriage?
Will it really be that much of a loss if you cannot marry someone until they are 18?
nightez said:
You place yourself on a high pedestal. However they are no universal truths. What is 'right' to you, is not 'right' to someone else.
I do not place myself on a pedestal, I merely see a pit of evil that need be destroyed.
I am not telling you what is right or wrong, I am telling you to work the humanity that you hopefully have inside yourself and try to actually empathize and put yourself in these situations.
[
Warning, do not read the following if you have a weak heart]
You are a frail and innocent girl, your parents have been talking about how nice this old man is, and how they think you should marry him. How he will give you and your parents a lot of gifts, and take care of you so well. You are naive, you love and trust your parents, so surely they wouldn't put you in harms way.
They make you excited about the nice dress you're gonna wear at the wedding, and you've not yet seen this man you're gonna marry soon. You are not told about sex, you are not told about the agony of childbirth, about how you will labor in his household for the rest of your life - with no escape. You think this old man is a little weird, why would he marry you when he could marry a full grown "woman", you try to quell your doubts because your parents have been talking about the wedding so much, your sister have been telling you how beautiful you will look in your dress.
You can't wait till you can show off to your mother and sisters in it, and taste all the nice food they'll make for the wedding, and you are blocking out any doubt, any fear you have. The more you meet him the weirder you feel about him, he is older than your own dad, he looks dirty and he looks at you in a way you don't like. You are afraid of telling you parents of these thoughts, you nod and you try to smile - a life with gifts and nice clothes can't be that bad right?
Then at your wedding night you are expected to have sex with him, you haven't been told what precisely sex is, you've only heard rumours and embarrassed conversations from your female relatives. You know you're expected to do something, your mother has told you to follow your husbands commands. He is touching you with his hands and you don't like it, he is wrinkly and he smells, he reminds you of your father - but your father never did this. He takes off your clothes, you are paralyzed, you are scared.
You are embaressed, you don't want him to see your private parts, you try to shield yourself. But he is too strong, he holds you down and you cries, you try to shake yourself free but he is too strong.
You cry and you tell him to stop, but he slaps you hard and tell you that he is your husband, that you have to obey him. You don't want any of this, you are shaking and trying to crawl away, but he is too big and too strong. His breath stinks against you and you close your eyes and pray to God to help you.
But he isn't helping you. He is touching you down there, you don't dare look, you just try to struggle and move. He hits you everytime you let out a sound.
And you are in pain, he is hurting you, you tell him he is hurting you.
He has his way with you while you cry and scream in pain.
Afterwards he tells you, you did good that you are a good bride.
But you don't feel good, you feel so dead inside, you feel
dirty.
You wish you were never born.
nightez said:
That's your opinion. My own society sees things differently. Like I mentioned before my own grand mother probably got married very young - as was common in the early 1900s. She was the happiest woman I've ever seen or met. They were married until the end of their lives. There has never been a divorce in my family, and in the local community where I grew up it was unheard of.
Good for you.
nightez said:
These are completely separate issues. No one said its OK to kill.
Of course not.
You make me sick.
