-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
A colony of ants living inside my Amazon Kindle
- Thread starter longdi
- Start date
- Status
Ban Puncher
Member
Grizzlyjin
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
You should probably stay away from Kafka until you get this situation under control.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Doctoglethorpe
Member
Whelp, page 3 has taken a dark turn, time to evacuate.
Ban Puncher
Member
Theonik
Member
That's actually the original meaning. It's a computer bug because the first documented case of one literally involved a bug getting in the system.
Ban Puncher
Member
hydrophilic attack
Member
that seems a very antagonistic approach
JEEZ
People need to start tagging links with bugs photos in them. I nearly flew out of my chair.
I think I'm gonna have a heart attack.
How does this even happen? From what I'm reading it looks like these monsters are strictly downstate.
You people can call us northerners crazy all you want for living through blizzards, but I'd take a few feet of snow every year if it means insects can't infect my life like that.
The first frost of the year is one of my favorite times. I get to sit here knowing the insect population just dropped by millions overnight.
Reverend Funk
Comfy Penetration
do the ants harm any of the electronics? if not you might as well let them hang out
Any Questions
Member
What have I been reading. I need to get another distraction
The Artisan
Member
explain it, then.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
Terro is like catnip for ants.
Hitlersaurus Christ
Banned
Thanks, ants.
Thants.
Thants.
Eye for an Eye
Member
pigeon interrupted
Member
OP hasn't heard of the amazon maintenance ants. Kiss that warranty goodbye.
congratulationsyouplayedyourself.gif
congratulationsyouplayedyourself.gif
NHarmonic.
Member
Would have been better with spiders.
How About No
Member
Mineshaft_Gap
4077th
fuck this whole earth
i dont like killing but with ants there can be no quarter. the fuckers are nothing more than the hand of the hive mind, brainless chemical following bio drones. their deaths are necessary in the eternal fight against the zerg menace
i need to clean my kitchen, those motherfuckers are about to be back in business this time of year. READY THE BLEACH
SuperEpicMan
Banned
What if your kindle has always had ants in, and the words are actually ants in formation under the screen. They are planting subliminal pro ant messages in your books :0 :0
Alcoremortis
Member
They pack into electronics until they short circuit something.
Ravensmash
Member
As someone who loves my Kindle, this is fucking terrifying.
MrCunningham
Member
If your Kindle is still under warranty, just fill up a sink full of water and dump it in. It should fry those ants instantly... or drown them depending on how much juice is left in the battery. Call up Amazon and tell them your Kindle is 'broken' and RMA for a new one.
Nikodemos
Member
They're immune to fire ant venom and their colonies have multiple queens for increased survivability?
Damn, seems like nature finally invented the perfect ant.
evil solrac v3.0
Member
you should be thanking ants for all that they do for the environment. they are the true lords of this here planet.
Netherscourge
Banned
Terro works great.
That stuff wiped out every ant on my property for half a summer.
That stuff wiped out every ant on my property for half a summer.
Netherscourge
Banned
Don't worry.
Thanks to global warming, fire ants and all other insects and cold blooded creatures will be migrating northward.
And bringing all their crazy shit with them.
formasymphonic
Member
This is what happens when you used WEP instead of WPA2 btw, weak encryption lets anyone in.
Im not sure how long they have been drilling ant tunnels inside my Kindle, but it still works.
Using Terro ant bait, hopefully some worker drone will bring it to the queen.
Im surprised Kindle is so spacious inside. Will an army dead ants stink up my Kindle?
I'm curious how your living conditions are that this actually happened.
Dash_Riprock
Member
What the fuck are you people doing to your electronics? Cleaning them with honey!?
OfTheOverflow
Member
This is actually pretty interesting
The Real Abed
Perma-Junior
This totally explains why I keep seeing random ants appear on my MacBook seemingly out of nowhere. If I thought it wouldn't kill the machine I'd spray it with the ant spray I got.
If only I could blame them for my broken keyboard but it's been broken for almost 2 years and I've only started noticing the ants recently.
Dear Kindle,
You've been the best companion I could've hoped for since the day you arrived from Amazon. You made me smile when I needed an emotional lift, you let me watch shows whenever I wanted (
), and we had some great memories playing Android games and browsing forums.
But now you have ants. I don't understand how you got them because I'm always so careful with you. I never leave you near bugs or discarded food. I've never spilled jelly, jam, syrup or honey on you. But in the end it doesn't matter. I can't go on like this.
I've tried to use you knowing there are thousands of ants crawling around inside of you while you're on my lap. I know it's probably a little unfair that I'm doing this knowing you have hundreds of little white eggs growing in you, and little ant pupae developing and being fed at all times, 24/7. I even bought some ant killing bait from Amazon, ironically the same place where you were born.
So this is the end. I thought about opening you up, but I don't really know how. So I'm just going to drown you in a bag, and put you in the recycling bin tomorrow night. It's the only way to be sure. Amazon said they are going to send me a new Kindle Fire HD without ants. I can't wait.
Sincerely,
longdi
You've been the best companion I could've hoped for since the day you arrived from Amazon. You made me smile when I needed an emotional lift, you let me watch shows whenever I wanted (
maybe even a little porn too?
But now you have ants. I don't understand how you got them because I'm always so careful with you. I never leave you near bugs or discarded food. I've never spilled jelly, jam, syrup or honey on you. But in the end it doesn't matter. I can't go on like this.
I've tried to use you knowing there are thousands of ants crawling around inside of you while you're on my lap. I know it's probably a little unfair that I'm doing this knowing you have hundreds of little white eggs growing in you, and little ant pupae developing and being fed at all times, 24/7. I even bought some ant killing bait from Amazon, ironically the same place where you were born.
So this is the end. I thought about opening you up, but I don't really know how. So I'm just going to drown you in a bag, and put you in the recycling bin tomorrow night. It's the only way to be sure. Amazon said they are going to send me a new Kindle Fire HD without ants. I can't wait.
Sincerely,
longdi
itwasTuesday
He wasn't alone.
This would makes for a good ebook.
Amazon self publishing is calling.
Amazon self publishing is calling.
- Status