First off I don't mean to offend anyone, and this is by no means a stealth brag thread. In fact accusations of a cry-for-help thread would be more accurate, although I now find the following story quite humorous.
Storytime
- I was closing my tab at this thing called Dance MF (a huge hipster dance fest thing that happens in Cincy), when this guy approaches me and offers to by me a drink.
- He asks if I was gay before he bought it, I say no, but he buys it anyway.
- He made more advances on me but for some reason I got irritated and made my way to the exit.
- Now keep in my mind I'm pretty drunk and have already tried and failed in all of my some twenty advances on women at the bar/club.
- Anyway as I'm leaving, this other guy grabs my hand, and he says "where are you going honey, come sit down with me."
- He's about 6'2" with thick blue eye shadow, quite attractive, yet extremely flamboyant.
- I sit down, I think to myself, maybe I should give this a shot. Maybe my constant strikeouts with women are a sign...
- We're talking and all of these guys are approaching, and he says get lost, I'm talking to my boyfriend while grabbing my shoulder. I kind of laugh it off like I'm watching myself in 3rd person.
- I say what, and he says hush. He grabs my hand again, and for some reason I yell, "You're strong!..." In a super effeminate voice.
- So finally he asks where I live and I say down the street, but I get cold feet and tell him my roommate is weird about me having company.
- But he invites me to his house instead. I try to explain that I'm not really gay and that I have to get up early, but I guess he senses my curiosity.
- But he promises we'll just snuggle,and in the back of my head I think if I can't get with a woman, maybe I should give this thing a try.
- So I'm in the taxi with this guy, and I'm freaking out. I realize I won't be able to have sex with him and that somehow snuggling seems more intimate than having sex to me.
- Thus, I make up a lie that my roommate left her keys. The taxi swings by my house and I get out. He says, "Hurry back sweetie."
- I run up into the bathroom and just sit in silence in pitch darkness thinking about the predicament I've gotten into, as the taxi begans blowing over and over again nonstop for about five minutes.
- And I realize I need to go out and tell him the truth: I'm not really gay, just lonely and pathetic.
- He's pissed, but he tells me to give him a call when I figure things out.
FIN
...Anybody ever get themselves into a similar situation, *fishes for empathy*
Storytime
- I was closing my tab at this thing called Dance MF (a huge hipster dance fest thing that happens in Cincy), when this guy approaches me and offers to by me a drink.
- He asks if I was gay before he bought it, I say no, but he buys it anyway.
- He made more advances on me but for some reason I got irritated and made my way to the exit.
- Now keep in my mind I'm pretty drunk and have already tried and failed in all of my some twenty advances on women at the bar/club.
- Anyway as I'm leaving, this other guy grabs my hand, and he says "where are you going honey, come sit down with me."
- He's about 6'2" with thick blue eye shadow, quite attractive, yet extremely flamboyant.
- I sit down, I think to myself, maybe I should give this a shot. Maybe my constant strikeouts with women are a sign...
- We're talking and all of these guys are approaching, and he says get lost, I'm talking to my boyfriend while grabbing my shoulder. I kind of laugh it off like I'm watching myself in 3rd person.
- I say what, and he says hush. He grabs my hand again, and for some reason I yell, "You're strong!..." In a super effeminate voice.
- So finally he asks where I live and I say down the street, but I get cold feet and tell him my roommate is weird about me having company.
- But he invites me to his house instead. I try to explain that I'm not really gay and that I have to get up early, but I guess he senses my curiosity.
- But he promises we'll just snuggle,and in the back of my head I think if I can't get with a woman, maybe I should give this thing a try.
- So I'm in the taxi with this guy, and I'm freaking out. I realize I won't be able to have sex with him and that somehow snuggling seems more intimate than having sex to me.
- Thus, I make up a lie that my roommate left her keys. The taxi swings by my house and I get out. He says, "Hurry back sweetie."
- I run up into the bathroom and just sit in silence in pitch darkness thinking about the predicament I've gotten into, as the taxi begans blowing over and over again nonstop for about five minutes.
- And I realize I need to go out and tell him the truth: I'm not really gay, just lonely and pathetic.
- He's pissed, but he tells me to give him a call when I figure things out.
FIN
...Anybody ever get themselves into a similar situation, *fishes for empathy*
