A powerful manyour bossinvites you to discuss business after hours in an intimate setting. You feel uneasy. The man has crossed the line before, singling you out, blowing you kisses, whispering softly in your ear. But to turn him down would be an insult. And lets face it, youre a little intrigued. Someone powerful is paying attention to you.
The date is arranged at a swanky spot: the Beverly Hills Hotel or the Green Room at the White House. They both have bedrooms nearby which makes you a little nervous. Still, you assume others will be there. But when you arrivesurprise! its just the two of you. The waitstaff is discreet. You note: Two Navy stewards waited on us, only entering the room to serve food and drinks.
Your instincts tell you somethings up, but its hard to put into words. The one-on-one setting
was, at least in part, an effort to have me ask for my job and create some sort of patronage relationship. Bingo! This is not business as usual.
Theres an ulterior motive.
The powerful man starts asking questions: Do you like your job? Do you want to keep it? You think your hard work and dedication makes the answers obvious. Still, you respond, I love my work, and want to keep at it. The powerful man nods. Then it happens: he moves on you like a bitch.
I need loyalty, he says. I expect loyalty. He lays out the quid pro quo: you make him happy, hell make you happy.
Youre stunned. You know you should storm away from the small oval table. Instead, you sit paralyzed. Later, you recall, I didnt move, speak, or change my facial expression in any way during the awkward silence that followed. This is typical. When threatened, the nervous system sometimes goes into a freeze response. You assess the risk and determine that fight or flight doesnt help you. Staying put does.