terrisus
Member
AKA. Now I have a better chance of dying. Yay!
So, most people here have probably heard me complain at some point or another about my various health issues. If not, the basic idea is, had cancer in 2011, and a stroke in 2013. While the cancer is relatively under control (it was able to be removed surgically, and has a very low risk of recurrence), the stroke is more of an issue. Especially given that I'm only 32, it's pretty much guaranteed happen again at some point get my life. And doctors have said that it could be the same, worse, leave me paralyzed, in a coma, or dead.
Frankly, the dead part doesn't worry me at all. If I'm dead, I'm dead. And at that point nothing matters too much, now does it? It's that other stuff that concerns me. Basically, one of my biggest fears in life has always been being stuck in a situation where I can't say or do anything, but was aware of everything that was going on and was still able to be thinking. Basically, I would be laying there just thinking "Kill me. Please kill me," but with no way to actually communicate it.
Back when I was in eighth grade, back around 1996, my English teacher stressed the importance of having a Living Will. Of course, at that point I was 14 years old, hadn't had either of these major issues to deal with, and that was pretty much one of the furthest things from my mind.
Unfortunately, of course, all of these health issues have brought everything back to the front of my mind. And no matter how unlikely that the doctors say that different stuff like this is, the fact that they are giving me actual solid percentage chances of this happening is quite disconcerting to me. And while it's plenty easy for everyone else to say "Don't worry about it, don't think about it, just live your life, and whatever happens happens," that's much harder to do when you're actually in the position of having to do it, and especially with all these thoughts on my mind.
Of course, lucky me, living in the US, this country never seems particularly eager to let people die. However, making a living will involves actually going to a lawyer and paying a lawyer, and that hadn't happened so far. Yesterday, however, we did finally get down to a lawyer and put together a living will. So now at least they're not going to keep me in some kind of suspended state or anything, and my wife at least has power to tell them to just cut me off completely (with my father being the secondary in case something happens to her as well).
Well I still have a bunch of things on my mind, and a bunch of things to worry about, this is at least one less thing that will need to be weighing on me. Dying really is the least of my concerns - as I said, if I'm dead, then I'm dead. And, frankly, I would rather them err on the side of having me be dead, since, even if I may have wanted something a bit different... Well, I'm dead.
So, yeah, the main purpose of this is to recommend to other people that they probably should consider putting together a living will as well. Even if someone is in perfect health, you never know what is going to happen and when something is going to happen. Not telling other people what choices to make in it - maybe other people would want to be kept "alive," that's their choice. But, it's much better to actually be prepared ahead of time as opposed to stuck and not being able to do anything at all.
So, most people here have probably heard me complain at some point or another about my various health issues. If not, the basic idea is, had cancer in 2011, and a stroke in 2013. While the cancer is relatively under control (it was able to be removed surgically, and has a very low risk of recurrence), the stroke is more of an issue. Especially given that I'm only 32, it's pretty much guaranteed happen again at some point get my life. And doctors have said that it could be the same, worse, leave me paralyzed, in a coma, or dead.
Frankly, the dead part doesn't worry me at all. If I'm dead, I'm dead. And at that point nothing matters too much, now does it? It's that other stuff that concerns me. Basically, one of my biggest fears in life has always been being stuck in a situation where I can't say or do anything, but was aware of everything that was going on and was still able to be thinking. Basically, I would be laying there just thinking "Kill me. Please kill me," but with no way to actually communicate it.
Back when I was in eighth grade, back around 1996, my English teacher stressed the importance of having a Living Will. Of course, at that point I was 14 years old, hadn't had either of these major issues to deal with, and that was pretty much one of the furthest things from my mind.
Unfortunately, of course, all of these health issues have brought everything back to the front of my mind. And no matter how unlikely that the doctors say that different stuff like this is, the fact that they are giving me actual solid percentage chances of this happening is quite disconcerting to me. And while it's plenty easy for everyone else to say "Don't worry about it, don't think about it, just live your life, and whatever happens happens," that's much harder to do when you're actually in the position of having to do it, and especially with all these thoughts on my mind.
Of course, lucky me, living in the US, this country never seems particularly eager to let people die. However, making a living will involves actually going to a lawyer and paying a lawyer, and that hadn't happened so far. Yesterday, however, we did finally get down to a lawyer and put together a living will. So now at least they're not going to keep me in some kind of suspended state or anything, and my wife at least has power to tell them to just cut me off completely (with my father being the secondary in case something happens to her as well).
Well I still have a bunch of things on my mind, and a bunch of things to worry about, this is at least one less thing that will need to be weighing on me. Dying really is the least of my concerns - as I said, if I'm dead, then I'm dead. And, frankly, I would rather them err on the side of having me be dead, since, even if I may have wanted something a bit different... Well, I'm dead.
So, yeah, the main purpose of this is to recommend to other people that they probably should consider putting together a living will as well. Even if someone is in perfect health, you never know what is going to happen and when something is going to happen. Not telling other people what choices to make in it - maybe other people would want to be kept "alive," that's their choice. But, it's much better to actually be prepared ahead of time as opposed to stuck and not being able to do anything at all.
