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Never compliment a fat co-worker

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N

NintendosBooger

Member
I made the mistake of complimenting a fat girl at work last week, and I’ve been paying for it ever since.

It all started last week. She plodded into my office wearing a cute skirt that she had no business wearing in the first place. She asked me if I liked her new dress, and I said it was cute. Then she goes on by saying that it would probably look better if she dropped a few pounds, and being the gentleman (aka idiot), I replied, “You look good the way you are. You want to look like boney Britney?” (She was the HOT receptionist)

I knew when her face lit up that I messed up.

Ever since then she’s been doing cute, stupid shit. She now struts when she passes by my office doorway, and when she comes to talk to me, she rocks her hips whenever she talks about “being naughty.” Worse, she intentionally pauses for a few seconds outside my door with her backside facing me before she finally goes out of sight. It’s disgusting.

I’m not the bad guy here, I didn’t lead her on.
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
Play the Ween song 'Big Fat F*ck' every time she walks by your office. She'll get the idea soon enough.
 
H

Hooker

Member
Hahaha, this is amusing.






Get "caught" by her while you're talking up/flirting with boney Britney. You can even let BB in on it, she'll understand ;)
 
T

tedtropy

$50/hour, but no kissing on the lips and colors must be pre-separated
Just put a saddle on the middle of your desk the next day and say nothing about it the entire day. Act as though you don't even see it as people come and go. She'll figure it out and you won't have to use any pesky words that got you in the middle of this situation to begin with. Also, everyone in this thread is going to hell. Satan is seriously printing this page out for his archives.
 
S

Surreal

Member
beto said:
You might want to drink before going into work, beer goggles might help
Click to expand...

simgoggles.jpg

The goggles, they do nothing!
 
W

whytemyke

Honorary Canadian.
:lol you can be nice to fat coworkers, but you gotta make sure it's about stuff that they can't take as you wanting them to butter your balls.

like, instead of "you look fine the way you are" you say something like "If you think you should, go for it." another good way to go about it is to use an anecdote with a significant other (real or not). Girl says "Oh I must smell like ham today" and you say "that's like my girlfriend, but without the hammy smell, tubby."
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
whytemyke said:
Girl says "Oh I must smell like ham today" and you say "that's like my girlfriend, but without the hammy smell, tubby."
Click to expand...
:lol Who says they smell like ham?
 
N

Nerevar

they call me "Man Gravy".
NintendosBooger said:
It all started last week. She plodded into my office wearing a cute skirt that she had no business wearing in the first place. She asked me if I liked her new dress, and I said it was cute. Then she goes on by saying that it would probably look better if she dropped a few pounds, and being the gentleman (aka idiot), I replied, “You look good the way you are. You want to look like boney Britney?” (She was the HOT receptionist)
Click to expand...

what hte ****? Was this girl your wife? Why did you treat her like that in the first place?
 
G

GilloD

Banned
I went to school with a transgendered girl/boy who made compliments a minefield. You could say, "Oh D, you look pretty today" and she/he'd get mad because he/she was a boy that day. Or you could say, "Oh D, you look handsome" and she/he'd get mad because he/she was a boy that day.

STFU AND TAKE THE COMPLIMENT. But sorry about tubs stopping by the office. Just leave a trail of M&Ms leading away from your office and in circles. Better, have them lead to a bowl somewhere far away from your office. She'll be there all day
 
G

GSG Flash

Nobody ruins my family vacation but me...and maybe the boy!
:lol

This thread is awesome, but NB's situation is exactly the reason why I don't talk to fat girls. Unless you wanna start something with the girl, who is usually attention craved, then don't talk and if she asks personal questions, just reply with simple one word answers.
 
T

tedtropy

$50/hour, but no kissing on the lips and colors must be pre-separated
NintendosBooger said:
She told me she was about 240 (this was months ago, but she hasn't changed much since then)
Click to expand...

She's almost two of me! HAWT!
 
D

Dynamite Shikoku

Congratulations, you really deserve it!
But seriously, you should handle this delicately. I've heard fat people can go into a rage where they have the strength of 10 men.
 
C

Coal

Member
Ask her if she has any friends. Usually fat girls have at least one pretty friend so go for that instead.

If you don't believe me, listen to the Steven Lynch song "Big Fat Friend".

Trust me.
 
B

BlueTsunami

there is joy in sucking dick
metdroid said:
But seriously, you should handle this delicately. I've heard fat people can go into a rage where they have the strength of 10 men.
Click to expand...

I've heard this too

You know what you should really do? Go to her desk, get on top of the desk, pull your pants down and take a large deuce on top of her keyboard. If shes doesn't get freaked out by that, than shes a keeper.
 
B

bionic77

Member
Maybe it is because I am married and almost 30, but what is the big deal? Eventually she will get the idea that you don't like her. I really believe in Karma and I have been in situations like this. You should just continue being nice.

And since we are on the subject of big women. Why are some guys really attracted to big women? I had a friend at grad school who used to be in the Navy. And this guy was a filthy whore in every sense of the word. I went out with him a few times and I swear to God he would turn down some ridiculously hot women and always go home with the umm bigger girls. We asked him why once and he claimed that fat girls are better in bed. And since he was the only Navy guy I know, are all guys in the Navy filthy whores?
 
B

BlueTsunami

there is joy in sucking dick
Himuro said:
mealternatebiggercp4.png
Click to expand...

:lol

bionic77 said:
And since we are on the subject of big women. Why are some guys really attracted to big women?
Click to expand...

Because they like to take it in the bum. And when your smacking thighs to asscheecks, theres nothing more reassuring than bouncing off two large pieces of meat. Skinny girls just jab you with their ass bones.
 
N

Ninja Scooter

Member
bionic77 said:
Maybe it is because I am married and almost 30, but what is the big deal? Eventually she will get the idea that you don't like her. I really believe in Karma and I have been in situations like this. You should just continue being nice.

And since we are on the subject of big women. Why are some guys really attracted to big women? I had a friend at grad school who used to be in the Navy. And this guy was a filthy whore in every sense of the word. I went out with him a few times and I swear to God he would turn down some ridiculously hot women and always go home with the umm bigger girls. We asked him why once and he claimed that fat girls are better in bed. And since he was the only Navy guy I know, are all guys in the Navy filthy whores?
Click to expand...

more cushion for the pushin or something like that. I hear Big Ben is a chubby chaser.
 
N

NintendosBooger

Member
I can tell from the responses that none of you went through the same experience. Does Cubsfan still frequent this place? I'm sure he has some good input that doesn't involve photoshopped pics and corny punchlines.
 
B

BlueTsunami

there is joy in sucking dick
NintendosBooger said:
I can tell from the responses that none of you went through the same experience. Does Cubsfan still frequent this place? I'm sure he has some good input that doesn't involve photoshopped pics and corny punchlines.
Click to expand...

I did once. It was horrifying and often results in introverted nightmare sequences.

It was this real obese girl, short, stubby and round. She would sit at the table I would put my head down to sleep at in the morning (at school before classes) to talk to me. I often did the yep, mhmmm, ok sounds to here to be nice, I had no ill will towards her. Until she started talking about sexual acts she would have with her boyfriend in the park.

Thats when I scadoodled out of that vocal relationship. Certain "big" girls are cute but like being way to ****in skinny, theres way to ****en fat.
 
P

Pellham

Banned
NintendosBooger said:
I made the mistake of complimenting a fat girl at work last week, and I’ve been paying for it ever since.

It all started last week. She plodded into my office wearing a cute skirt that she had no business wearing in the first place. She asked me if I liked her new dress, and I said it was cute. Then she goes on by saying that it would probably look better if she dropped a few pounds, and being the gentleman (aka idiot), I replied, “You look good the way you are. You want to look like boney Britney?” (She was the HOT receptionist)

I knew when her face lit up that I messed up.

Ever since then she’s been doing cute, stupid shit. She now struts when she passes by my office doorway, and when she comes to talk to me, she rocks her hips whenever she talks about “being naughty.” Worse, she intentionally pauses for a few seconds outside my door with her backside facing me before she finally goes out of sight. It’s disgusting.

I’m not the bad guy here, I didn’t lead her on.
Click to expand...

Jesus, just be honest next time. I have no qualms telling a fat coworker that he or she is fat. And if they complain to HR, I just tell them I was telling the truth.
 
B

bionic77

Member
Himuro said:
How big are these girls? My limit is 170 lb.
Click to expand...

It has been awhile but none of them were 240 pounds. I am guessing none of them weighed much more than 170 (if that). The guy knew what he wanted when it came to sex though because he was such a manwhore. He made it seem like serving in the armed services was just one gigantic orgy with prostitutes and skankbags.
 
M

MrDaravon

Member
To build on an earlier comment, tell her that you think fat girls are cute, they don't become really hot, like girlfriend hot until around 400 pounds. If she goes for it, she'll be dead or unable to work by the point she actually gets there.
 
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