• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #194 - "On The Edge"

Status
Not open for further replies.
M

mu cephei

Member
Theme: On The Edge

Word Limit: 2000

Submission Deadline: Friday 5th August 11:59 PM Pacific

Voting Deadline: Monday 8th August 11:59 PM Pacific

Optional Secondary Objective: Time

Interpret however you like, but for example: begin at the end; narrate from beyond the grave or outside human time; use flashbacks or flashforwards (for suspense or threat); play with the pace via proportion of summary to scene; use slow time for something that would actually occur very quickly and extend the description to draw attention to important events. etc.

Submission Guidelines:

- One entry per poster.
- All submissions must be written during the time of the challenge.
- Using the topic as the title of your piece is discouraged.
- Keep to the word count!

Voting Guidelines:

- Three votes per voter. Please denote in your voting your 1st (3 pts), 2nd (2 pts), and 3rd (1 pt) place votes.
- Please read all submissions before voting.
- You must vote in order to be eligible to win the challenge.
- When voting ends, the winner gets a collective pat on the back, and starts the new challenge.

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge FAQ
Previous Challenge Threads and Themes
 
C

Cyan

Banned
On the edge, off the edge. Over the edge. Over the limit. Overtime. On time. On the time.

Fun times.
 
D

Derwind

Member
I'm going to see if I can do something. I always plan to write something but end up failing and not submitting anything.

But this time I will do it!

I hope.
 
C

Cyan

Banned
I'm tempted to do some kind of time travel shenanigans. But there are so many other neat things you can do with time, as the OP lists out. Maybe something totally non-chronological. Or looping. A recursive story!

I don't know what that even means.
 
D

Derwind

Member
Cyan said:
I'm tempted to do some kind of time travel shenanigans. But there are so many other neat things you can do with time, as the OP lists out. Maybe something totally non-chronological. Or looping. A recursive story!

I don't know what that even means.
Click to expand...

I'm thinking different isolated events creating a really cool narrative in a similar vain to Cloud Atlas.
 
C

Cyan

Banned
Wait I already have a pretty solid idea for this. Though usually thinking of something this fast means it's something everyone else has thought of too.
 
R

RoyaleDuke

Banned
So here is part of it, let me know what you guys think.

The title is, The Haunter of the Dark.

Haunter of the Dark


1.
Over the Top

“Get up son, get up and get over that fuckin’ trench right now” A man yelled over the noise and constant thunder of shells, he watched as another soldier fell back into the trench, half his body missing and his entrails hanging out.
“Get up and get your gear, get ready to go over the top, and go or I will fucking shoot you, you bloody cowardly scottish bastard,” The lieutenant, was aiming his webley revolver at a young soldiers head, the soldier just sat there, a million miles away from everything.
“Do you hear me soldier? Campbell you will snap out of it and go over the top, or be labeled a coward and executed immediately, do you hear me Campbell?” He screamed, spit flying from his lips, the men behind him watching as it carried on, they had all seen it too many times before and cared very much for their own lives.

The shells continued to burst over the top of the trench, men continued to die as they stormed over muddy edges and the walls of trench fortifications and were raked with machinegun fire or blown apart into torsos and arms. The shell holes were littered with the dead of hundreds, we dared not try to retrieve them or meet their fate as well. The noise was incredible, it was as if being caught in the middle of the most unimaginably violent thunderstorm, and the force of each explosion could be felt as a concussive wave pushed and batted you around like leaves in the wind. He watched as the lieutenant began to slap and beat Campbell with his revolver and hands, at one point the revolver butt had cracked the skin above his eyebrow, he continued to sit there unphased, lost miles away from this God forsaken war. He’d seen it too many times already and he hadn’t even been here for more than a week. He couldn’t hear anything as the shelling picked up in intensity, and he saw that Lieutenant was motioning to other soldiers in the trench, clearly speaking to them. He tried to crawl closer, and then a shell smacked Cordroy in the head killing him instantly. He curled up into a ball, if he was going to be blown apart he didn’t want to see it coming. He dreamt of home and getting away, he missed his mother and her soft voice, the breakfast of blood sausage and mash, her flowing fiery red hair. He waited and yet there was nothing, he didn’t see angels, he didn’t see any devils and he was somewhat certain on some level that he was alive. He didn’t smell the wonderful smell of hearth and home, hay and fresh dewey smell of summer in Ireland. He smelt the all to familiar smell of onions and garlic, the tell tale overwhelming smell of the taint of gas, the smell of acrid smoke, and of death, broken earth, and decaying flesh. He looked up from the floor of the trench as he felt someone yanking him to his feet, and he could hear slightly but moreso that was when he saw it. The lieutenant screamed, held the revolver against Campbell’s temple and pulled the trigger, what was left of Campbell’s mind hit the backside of the trench and he slumped over, smiling. He would cry if he had anything left, if he felt anything besides fear, it was not his turn to go over the top but soon, soon he too would surely join the many hallowed dead laying in their craters, caught on their barbed wire, dying in their war. The hun had set up defenses the likes we had not yet seen, miles of barbed wire, mines, and machinegun crews as far as the eyes could see, and the artillery had been going on for days. Of course we gave them it all back in full, hours and days of shelling, firing large shells and gas shells into the enemy fortifications.
Click to expand...
 
C

Cyan

Banned
Freeza Under The Shower said:
Is it a Soul Reaver (2) fanfiction?
Is it a superhero-style character?
Click to expand...

You mean Dark Souls? That's what everyone here seems to do fanfics of. :p Never played those games, though.

No, but thinking about it it's a little bit similar to a Borges story. I'll have to think of a good way to remix the ideas.
 
C

Cyan

Banned
Writing hangout in about half an hour now lol. Standard quick recap: it's on Google Hangouts, and the format is ten minutes of chat, then thirty minutes of writing with mics muted, repeated until we've gone for two hours. Webcams aren't required, though several of us will have them. Mics are recommended but also not required, as you can use the text chat.

The hangout link is (quote to see):
 
D

dangerbyrnes

Member
welp, no mic working is annoying. i didn't really need to write today though, will try to get it for next time.

i know i can text chat, but i might as well just do that here, lol.
 
C

Cyan

Banned
dangerbyrnes said:
welp, no mic working is annoying. i didn't really need to write today though, will try to get it for next time.

i know i can text chat, but i might as well just do that here, lol.
Click to expand...

Heh, yeah, sorry it didn't work out. Definitely hope to see you next time!
 
R

RoyaleDuke

Banned
Goddamnit I forgot about the hang out.

:(

Does anyone like the beginning of my story?

Anyone?

hello?

I've made some more progress but I will have to ante-up in the next couple days to get it finished.
 
F

FlowersisBritish

fleurs n'est pas britannique
Eh, we don't usually respond to stories until the end. We're kind of weird where this is kinda a competition but we're all really chill about it... but still competing. Sometimes I think Cyan would shiv a person to get rid of the competition. That guys like at an 11 all the time.

Anyway, I think it's fine. The first part is the strongest, but through out I think it is weakened by the heavy use of adverbs. Also, the next part would probably be strengthened by breaking it up. I sometimes do heavy paragraphs too, and to break them up i tend to try and divide each paragraph by a different thought/theme/focus.

Side note: maybe it's the nature of biweekly challenges, but I feel like it's been forever since Ashes has been here?
 
M

Mike M

Nick N
Yeah, these threads tend to be pretty dead until six minutes after the deadline for submission has passed and everyone takes advantage of the fact that no one's a stickler about deadlines
EXCEPT FOR ME!
. It's not super conducive to workshopping a piece before submission.

Speaking of which, I have no idea how to end mine...
 
F

FlowersisBritish

fleurs n'est pas britannique
Heh remember that challenge Mike made everyone write Batman fan fiction? Man we havent had a super weird challenge in like... Four months?
 
M

mu cephei

Member
You mean I could have compelled everyone to write Berserk/ Stargate Universe crossover fanfiction? What a wasted opportunity!
 
A

Ainsz

Member
I say this everytime but man the word limit was a killer. So much stuff cut out :( Anyway, glad to be posting a story here again. Hope you enjoy it.

Fish Bowl at 1993 words, excluding the titles.

Let me know if the link works ok ;)
 
N

Nezumi

Member
Not sure if I'll be participating this week. I have an idea and everything but a good friend of me is visiting and at the moment it looks a bit like she is finally having the psychic breakdown she has been working on for some years now...
 
R

RoyaleDuke

Banned
I spent the night trying to get this mostly finished, not too much more but I need some sleep damn.

Just need to bring it back around for the ending. Sounds like a lot but trust me you guys will hopefully like the complete result. I have until 11:59 PM afterall. ;D

The Haunter Of The Dark

Synopsis:

The year is 1916.

A trench in Verdun.

A Detective in rural America.

A terrifying menace.

They all come together, to form the guts of a mystery that should not be solved.

Charlie O'Donnel is a simple farmer from the countryside of Ireland, when his brother dies in the trenches of the Somme during the summer, he is sent to Verdun as winter comes and the fight turns desperate. In the trenches O'Donnel learns firsthand the horrors that left nothing of his brother, and yet there is something else in the trench. Something much worse.

In the rural town of Larkham, Rhode Island, a series of bizarre and seemingly otherworldly murders occur in the quiet hamlet, as Detective Roger Ennistrad works desperately to stop the murder, he soon realizes things are not as they seem.

What haunts the dark corners of our world? what stalks in places we cannot see?
Click to expand...
 
T

Tangent

Member
Nezumi said:
Not sure if I'll be participating this week. I have an idea and everything but a good friend of me is visiting and at the moment it looks a bit like she is finally having the psychic breakdown she has been working on for some years now...
Click to expand...

:(

Is she... on the edge?
 
M

mu cephei

Member
Eh well, he said he didn't get it finished. That link is blank (URL=title), I assumed he was going to edit in the entry link when he was done, and as he didn't...

but I'll put it under ?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Would you guys like to participate in a little community-driven gaming challenge?
15
1K
DelireMan7 replied
Neogaf GOTY 2022 | Free upgrade for all platforms | Release Notes v1.0
43
4K
gunstarhero replied
Starfield Devs Q&A Session
37
3K
Hendrick's replied
NeoGAF's Street Fighter character ranking!
29
3K
22:22:22 replied
  • Locked
NeoGAF GOTY 2021 |OT| Voting thread (Up: Closed)
|OT| 2
86
11K
PharaoTutAnchAmun replied
Top Bottom