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NeoGAF's Poetry Corner - #123 "Chaotic Neutral"
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panama chief
Member
For a second I thought it said pottery corner. Was looking forward to some kiln work 
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
Hmm neat. Maybe I'll give these a shot. I've recently been thinking about giving poetry a try, but have no idea how line work.... well.... works? D:
weemadarthur
Member
Well, hello again, poetry corner.
Subbed to this new thread. We'll see if I can write for the theme.
Subbed to this new thread. We'll see if I can write for the theme.
ElectricBlanketFire
Member
Hello. This is about having a newborn and an almost 3-year-old.
"When The Sky Was Nine"
six seventeen september
six fifteen july
there are letter blocks in bed
a book with captains that we read
christmas lights above your head
we will take a walk
by the diamonds and a lake
just as soon and she awakes
lift her up and kiss her face
that is how we keep them safe
a blue umbrella by the door
a secret room beneath the floor
a fine physicians number stored
the bravery is gone
though for him I will pretend
do my best when I attend
to her joy, a medicine
i remember
when the sky was nine
when you werent exactly mine
and then you were
"When The Sky Was Nine"
six seventeen september
six fifteen july
there are letter blocks in bed
a book with captains that we read
christmas lights above your head
we will take a walk
by the diamonds and a lake
just as soon and she awakes
lift her up and kiss her face
that is how we keep them safe
a blue umbrella by the door
a secret room beneath the floor
a fine physicians number stored
the bravery is gone
though for him I will pretend
do my best when I attend
to her joy, a medicine
i remember
when the sky was nine
when you werent exactly mine
and then you were
FelixOrion
Poet Centuriate
Oh shit, we back.
Sorry for letting this die, family. I'll try to make amends.
Sorry for letting this die, family. I'll try to make amends.
The poetry thread died for our sins.
weemadarthur
Member
I'll have a contribution, it just needs more work.
weemadarthur
Member
.
Last edited:
Hispanic! At the Disco
Member
I don't really write poems but I want to support threads like this so I wrote something before bed
These shackles bind me like a dead man
They give me life they give me freedom
Like the cursed I can't resist them
Lest I die I cant be freed
In these chains I have true power
Yet memories tear through my heart
Limitless I have no bounds
Until my chains are broken
All day long I resist restraints
They give me peace they give me strength
I fight and run all my days
From these chains that give me life
These shackles bind me like a dead man
They give me life they give me freedom
Like the cursed I can't resist them
Lest I die I cant be freed
In these chains I have true power
Yet memories tear through my heart
Limitless I have no bounds
Until my chains are broken
All day long I resist restraints
They give me peace they give me strength
I fight and run all my days
From these chains that give me life
disappeared
Banned
I put on a coat and my hat to go out
it was hot in the house
felt like going outside
2am
I looked up at the stars, they were doubled
I breathed heavy, held my breath,
tried to make them all single
sat there and watched
worried about my heart,
Pictured death
wondered if I still had vodka
thought about the softness and the wind brushed up against the trees
Listened to that,
In and out and in and out
Thought about how much a knife through the heart would hurt
Thought about what the last song I wanted to hear
But I couldnt decide
Thought about one last lay
with Stacey
she was good for it but she wanted her own time.
Selling the house and getting her son out.
She needed time.
Theres no glory in waiting for the walls to fall in,
smelling your own farts,
smiling, laughing at a joke she told you three years ago.
Imagining picking up all those cigarette butts and dog shit on a promise to the landlord.
We did it.
She dressed up like Harley Quinn on Halloween, painted my face like the Joker
and that was a good time.
We didnt even have a kitchen, in that basement. Just a mini fridge and we put all our dishes in a cardboard shelf unit. But it lasted and we lasted until May
When our landlord, Kathy - bless her soul - kicked us out
I drank all the wine she gave us. And you - Jess - I remember you got pissed being sober.
Thats what the stars all doubled reminded me
A sweet girl from Kelleher
be safe
take care
it was hot in the house
felt like going outside
2am
I looked up at the stars, they were doubled
I breathed heavy, held my breath,
tried to make them all single
sat there and watched
worried about my heart,
Pictured death
wondered if I still had vodka
thought about the softness and the wind brushed up against the trees
Listened to that,
In and out and in and out
Thought about how much a knife through the heart would hurt
Thought about what the last song I wanted to hear
But I couldnt decide
Thought about one last lay
with Stacey
she was good for it but she wanted her own time.
Selling the house and getting her son out.
She needed time.
Theres no glory in waiting for the walls to fall in,
smelling your own farts,
smiling, laughing at a joke she told you three years ago.
Imagining picking up all those cigarette butts and dog shit on a promise to the landlord.
We did it.
She dressed up like Harley Quinn on Halloween, painted my face like the Joker
and that was a good time.
We didnt even have a kitchen, in that basement. Just a mini fridge and we put all our dishes in a cardboard shelf unit. But it lasted and we lasted until May
When our landlord, Kathy - bless her soul - kicked us out
I drank all the wine she gave us. And you - Jess - I remember you got pissed being sober.
Thats what the stars all doubled reminded me
A sweet girl from Kelleher
be safe
take care
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
Gonna throw my hat into one of these. Maybe a few more after that too
Clean Air
I cleaned out the attic today.
Suitcases filled with nothing anecdotes.
Boxes of Christmas decorations too heavy for
Light doesn't wander way up here, so all our shameful,
little mistakes become big enough to fill
Dust sits over too many memories. Even when
I blow them off, I try hard to remember,
"Right, the fair!" I laugh all alone. "In retrospect,
smoking was a bad idea." It's
Behind a box is a window I never knew.
I open it and light pours, dust migrates, the
I turn to look back, So much better
again.
Clean Air
I cleaned out the attic today.
Your attic, our attic,
my attic.
Suitcases filled with nothing anecdotes.
Boxes of Christmas decorations too heavy for
once a year.
Light doesn't wander way up here, so all our shameful,
little mistakes become big enough to fill
your old coat.
Dust sits over too many memories. Even when
I blow them off, I try hard to remember,
"When was this?"
"Right, the fair!" I laugh all alone. "In retrospect,
smoking was a bad idea." It's
a sad chuckle.
Behind a box is a window I never knew.
I open it and light pours, dust migrates, the
breeze is nice.
I turn to look back, So much better
not empty, but clean.
I can breath
Blargonaut
Banned
A Round
oh yes
why not
oh yes
why not
YesNOnoNOYes
Member
i likey wee mad's and hispanic's :>
very lovely works, everyone
very lovely works, everyone
weemadarthur
Member
I shamelessly lifted this explanation from an old thread:
Disappeared, do you want to put in a timer for the standard voting period? And thanks so much for bringing back the poetry.
Disappeared, do you want to put in a timer for the standard voting period? And thanks so much for bringing back the poetry.
weemadarthur
Member
Contributors
Electricblanketfire .... When the Sky Was Nine
Weemadarthur ....... Destinies
Hispanic! At the Disco .... Untitled
Disappeared ... Untitled
FlowersisBritish .... Clean Air
Lucini .... Untitled
Blargonaut .... A Round
Electricblanketfire .... When the Sky Was Nine
Weemadarthur ....... Destinies
Hispanic! At the Disco .... Untitled
Disappeared ... Untitled
FlowersisBritish .... Clean Air
Lucini .... Untitled
Blargonaut .... A Round
weemadarthur
Member
Electricblanketfire .... When the sky was nine
I liked this. The rhythm and assonance are nice. I like the title without understanding it. The last line cutting off the previous rhyme scheme is poignant.
Hispanic! At the Disco .... Untitled
I like this, especially if you never/hardly ever wrote a poem before. Thematically it goes from death to life, which is optimistic, and you keep your tone together with word repetition. Hope you come back.
Disappeared ... Untitled
This feels really honest, and brave
FlowersisBritish .... Clean Air
Really good at place setting. I can feel the whole thing.
Lucini .... Untitled
<3 succinct, poignant
Blargonaut .... A Round
Blarg, I love you man. I've seen you do better poetry in a random insult though. Even playing it mentally in two voices in my head, I can't put your contribution in my list.
1. Electricblanketfire
2. FlowersisBritish
3. Lucini
I liked this. The rhythm and assonance are nice. I like the title without understanding it. The last line cutting off the previous rhyme scheme is poignant.
Hispanic! At the Disco .... Untitled
I like this, especially if you never/hardly ever wrote a poem before. Thematically it goes from death to life, which is optimistic, and you keep your tone together with word repetition. Hope you come back.
Disappeared ... Untitled
This feels really honest, and brave
FlowersisBritish .... Clean Air
Really good at place setting. I can feel the whole thing.
Lucini .... Untitled
<3 succinct, poignant
Blargonaut .... A Round
Blarg, I love you man. I've seen you do better poetry in a random insult though. Even playing it mentally in two voices in my head, I can't put your contribution in my list.
1. Electricblanketfire
2. FlowersisBritish
3. Lucini
disappeared
Banned
Let's make the deadline...
September 11th.
September 11th.
weemadarthur
Member
Here, I stole this too. Thx FIB!
But lurkers are encouraged to vote, yes? I'm not a regular per se.
But lurkers are encouraged to vote, yes? I'm not a regular per se.
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
Really? That late? Not complaining, just used to the story threads where we got like 3 days to read 16,000 words sometimes. And that's only if the regular show up.
Anyways
1. ElectricBlanketFire
2. Disappeared
3. Weemadarthur
ElectricBlanketFire
Member
Thank you sir! The title is a reference to when Pluto was still a planet (nine planets). Shortly after it became a dwarf planet, we started dating.
Will give my thoughts in a bit:
1) Disappeared: Untitled
2) Weemadarthur: Untitled
3) FlowersisBritish: Clean Air
Haha Poetry Corner has always had a tendency to have super late deadlines and a million extensions.
weemadarthur
Member
Time to vote late and hope the OP counts it!
weemadarthur
Member
i likey wee mad's ........1
and hispanic's :>...............1
Wee has decreed the point spread if that's ok with everyone
very lovely works, everyone
Weemadarthur..................7
Flowersis british...............5
Electricblanketfire.............7
Hispanic! ......................1
Lucini...........................1
Disappeared..................5
One of my points is unclassified so I'll defer to Electricblanketfire if nobody objects.
HORRORSHØW
Member
What the shit?
We back?!
We back?!
ElectricBlanketFire
Member
Ah shucks. Thank you kindly, but we can be gentlemen and call it a draw if you'd like.
weemadarthur
Member
We cannot do that. For there can be only one. (To make the next thread). Perhaps we can go with pistols at dawn? Choose your second and have them contact mine.
ElectricBlanketFire
Member
Oh jeez...winner gets to pick the theme?
Alright then. I suppose I'll take the crown this time.
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
So was there ever a new theme or what?