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NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #199 - "Ritual"

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mu cephei

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Theme - "Ritual"

Word Limit: 2500

Submission Deadline: Friday 14th October by 11:59 PM Pacific.

Voting Deadline: Monday 17th October at 11:59 PM Pacific.

Optional Secondary Objective: Opposition/ Antagonism

Have someone or something actively work against your protagonist/ have two (or more) opposing parties/ ... actually I'll just pinch a quote from Robert McKee's 'Story': "The Principle of Antagonism: A protagonist and his story can only be as intellectually fascinating and emotionally compelling as the forces of antagonism make them."

Submission Guidelines:

- One entry per poster.
- All submissions must be written during the time of the challenge.
- Using the topic as the title of your piece is discouraged.
- Keep to the word count!

Voting Guidelines:

- Three votes per voter. Please denote in your voting your 1st (3 pts), 2nd (2 pts), and 3rd (1 pt) place votes.
- Please read all submissions before voting.
- You must vote in order to be eligible to win the challenge.
- When voting ends, the winner gets a collective pat on the back, and starts the new challenge.

Important side note: A lot of our regulars like to write out short critiques/comments for the stories, but you can always opt out by simply adding a note like "I'd prefer no critiques" in the post where you submit your story. We're an understanding group and respect that not everyone wants comments on their work. Above all, we just want to read your story.

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge FAQ
Previous Challenge Threads and Themes
 
Despite not giving any commentary myself, I would like to thank everyone for providing it last round. Doubt, given my track record for bitching a lot but not actually entering, that I will enter, but maybe I can do something else, and that is bring up what rituals are as conceived of by Bronislaw Malinowski. I will look it up in Magic, Science, and Religion for the exact quote.

But the basic gist as I remember it is that despite a 'magic' component, rituals among tribes are more meant to re-establish the 'natural' order of things through the narrative of the ritual. It goes to invoking a sense of control of people on their conditions (despite those being random), or being denied something by a greater -divine- power.
You could easily go with a Man versus God plot in this context. Or shaman versus god, perhaps.

Which is obviously very different from what the West has made out of them, particularly when monotheistic religions became increasingly rule-based and less magical, ultimately even mechanized and / or commodified. For example: the rituals you see in typical fantasy fiction are kind of a hybrid (and kind of racist...), where non-magic rules suddenly get turned into an exchange rate for things that otherwise not apply. A magic system is in that sense highly commodified, where magic has a clear price. Which is not how tribal 'magic' works in real life.

Which means that other, more unexpected rituals are around in Western countries. Like standing in line for something. For what? Nobody knows, but standing in line is normal! So that's basically a Western, disenchanted version of a ritual in its original variant. Shaving, showering, even taking the car for a drive you don't need to do but do so constantly anyway, all counts. Which is not to say that all habits therefore count. It has to be aimed at restoration of the order of things / the cosmos / first-order of nature. The way things are, or are (even) meant to be, and in some cases aimed at going to be (like a cult based on a doomsday prediction, or a ritual and mantra aimed at delusional odds of personal success, like buying lottery tickets and assuming that certain events are signs of good fortune to come on the lottery).

You might go for a Hannibal Lecter / Dexter Morgan type having to deal with someone constantly interrupting their ritual in killing or something. Or a gambler sticking with his gambling ritual to the point of ruin (there is an actual fallacy called 'gambler's ruin' if you're interested).

At any rate, I hope that this might be helpful to know somehow. The idea of disenchantment (the basis for the secularization thesis) comes from Max Weber, but unfortunately he hasn't exactly wrote a lot on it directly. His only direct definition in Wissenshaft als Beruf (1996 [1919]: p. 17) is:

(...) dass es (...) prinzipiell keine geheimnisvolle unberechenbare Mächte gebe, die da hineinspielen, dass man vielmehr alle Dinge - im Prinzip - durch Berechnen beherrschen könne. Dass aber bedeutet: die Entzauberung der Welt. Nicht mehr, wie der Wilde, für den es solche [unberechenbaren] Mächte gab, muss man zu magischen Mitteln griefen, um die Geister zu beherrschen oder zu erbitten. Sondern technische Mittel and Berechnung leisten das.
Click to expand...

I've quoted this from a dissertation on the topic. No name because I don't want google to start pointing to this.
But, for those who can't read German or are not used to thinking in philosophy / sociology terms: the idea is that 'the world', that is the mental world that people live in, has become increasingly devoid of spirits or other unseen movers, and more mechanized into a stone-cold soulless calculability where everything (alle Dinge) in principle can be controlled by calculation, which is what I bolded.
(yet, even in that world, magic slips back in through the back door. Like people assuming they can influence reality directly - the secret- or assuming properties on thing that do not apply there - living code, sentient machines, etc-, so ritual formation returns in a different way anyway. Also people like being with people, even if they have to believe weird things for the sake of belonging. Like religions, and other flat-earthers).

A related term would be [scientific] Materialism, where all things have mass and casual patterns, with no room for spiritual matters. Any kind of rule-based exchange is a form of Materialism in that sense. But in fiction you can usually not give a precise measure all the time, so it tends to switch over to Magical Realism, where magic is real but not fully rule-based, so no proper exchange rate applies (most Japanese Shounen have this, and the inconsistency in 'power level' that comes with it). In D&D and video games however, you can have that exact 'spend X, get Y' rule system and you get Magical Materialism, where magic exist as a class of objects and is completely tied to a rule-based exchange rate.

Well, my work here is done. Hope that wasn't a bit too much. :|
 
FlowersisBritish said:
Yeah, I'm not going to be able to finish this time around. Might have some critiques later, but don't count on it. To maybe guilt myself into it later, gonna talk a bit about my story, because there is a story behind it and I think maybe people can take some value from it.

So I got into an argument about Show Don't Tell with my roommate, and it essentially went, "I think it's overused advice, whenever I hear it, its not really being specific enough to help." And she said, "its great advice. You don't like it cause you do so much Tell and not enough Show!" and after some back and forth like that, I figured out what she meant essentially was she(and a great number of people I noticed) seem to not be able to get into a story without descriptions of characters/scene/ect ect. So I've been trying for more descriptions lately(cause even though I don't take criticism well in the moment, I do listen) and wanted to try and Tell as little as possible with a story. The idea was to make a story that was a confusing mess because you could never figure out what was going on, and from feedback it seemed to have backfired(So woot people liked the story, but also damn it?)

The story is about an abortion. She had sex with a guy, but when he found out he ditched. Tomorrow is the day, and the whole family is tense.
and I wanted to try and get all that across through subtext only. Seems like it worked for the most part(damn it). I was trying to emulate Hills Like White Elephants by Hemingway, which was also about abortion but in a very indirect way. While he went for subtle clues in the dialogue, I tried to use similes(I lean on them most whenever I think Show) and tried very hard to hint at the whole story without ever saying it.

Anyway, I brought this up because the whole thing turned into a really interesting writing exercise. I'd wholeheartedly recommend everyone to try and write a story in the vein of "Hill Like White Elephants" at least once. See how much you can hint at and how little you can actually say at the same time. For me, it became a test to see how much backstory I could include without actually Telling the backstory. For you? Who knows until you give it a try.
Click to expand...
Along these lines, I recommend Charles Baxter's The Art of Subtext. It's short, to the point, and immediately helpful.
 
Our bi-weekly ritual regularly scheduled hangout is go in an hour and a half. Standard details will be posted half an hour in advance.
 
Writing hangout in about half an hour. Standard quick recap: it's on Google Hangouts, and the format is ten minutes of chat, then thirty minutes of writing with mics muted, repeated until we've gone for two hours. Webcams aren't required, though several of us will have them. Mics are recommended but also not required, as you can use the text chat.

The hangout link is (quote to see):
 
Maybe I should do this before writing my novel in november....I'll probably pass since I'm going to do a lot of prep for my book in the next two weeks
 
Is anyone else just burning out right now? I've been starting and stopping a bunch of little things for this one and nothing is sticking with me.

Side note: this does not bode well for Nano...
 
Yeah, I'm squeezed almost dry. I don't know how you guys who've been doing this for years manage it. I'm not doing Nano though, so I'm really really really looking forward to the break, I'm hoping that will set me up for the next year of challenges!

I have no ideas yet and my emergency backup idea doesn't fit the secondary >.<
 
I've got time aplenty, the will to overcome my crippling self-doubt and actually sit down and write is my limiting factor. :P
 
giphy.gif


Like you're not old hat at this.

The oldest of hats.

Like... a tricorn or something.
 
Mike M said:
Ideas are easy for me, time is my limiting resource.

Can't even imagine what I'd be doing if I was a bachelor.
Click to expand...
Your boat looks like my boat.

I have more ideas than I can realistically work with, and way less time than I'd like to work with them.
 
Cowlick said:
Kinda hating my writing at the moment. Not sure if I can submit this round. :/
Click to expand...

Sometimes you got to just tell that internal critic to shut the hell up. And submit.

Edit: Speaking of rituals. Please note the following template for entries:

entry.jpg
 
Ashes said:
Sometimes you've got to just sit in that chair and write.
Click to expand...
Sometimes... easier said than done. I was using google docs on my phone for a while, getting a line down here and there, since I never had long enough to sit comfortably and write. Now that my son is 15 months and more aware of what I'm doing (and when I'm not paying attention to him...) even that trivial screen time is usually off the table. I've been reviewing the past few weeks to triangulate where I habitually squander free time, so I can use that time productively in the future, but there is not much wasted. The only significant chunks were used to watch political debates with my wife. I could have used that time to write. But I chose not to. I think following the US election this season is more prudent.

I at least have some partially finished stories for the recent challenges I haven't entered. Figure I can always go back and work on those later.
 
It's been a while and I've been trying to find time for these (much less Nano).

Is 200 going to be before or after NaNo though?
 
I'm out again. Still have no idea and I don't think I'll get one and manage to write and finish the story in the next five hours and after that I probably don't have any time left since I'll be going on a trip for a couple of days. And this time I have to do the driving so no typing in the passenger seat either :/
Well, probably would not have time to read the entries anyway.
 
Red said:
Sometimes... easier said than done. I was using google docs on my phone for a while, getting a line down here and there, since I never had long enough to sit comfortably and write. Now that my son is 15 months and more aware of what I'm doing (and when I'm not paying attention to him...) even that trivial screen time is usually off the table. I've been reviewing the past few weeks to triangulate where I habitually squander free time, so I can use that time productively in the future, but there is not much wasted. The only significant chunks were used to watch political debates with my wife. I could have used that time to write. But I chose not to. I think following the US election this season is more prudent.

I at least have some partially finished stories for the recent challenges I haven't entered. Figure I can always go back and work on those later.
Click to expand...

Tough gig. At my busiest stretches, I find myself whiling away time by 'writing' - shower, during breakfast, walks etc..
 
Ashes said:
Tough gig. At my busiest stretches, I find myself whiling away time by 'writing' - shower, during breakfast, walks etc..
Click to expand...
I still do this too, but lately it's been disconnected notes, images, and themes more than a concerted idea. It must be possible though, right? People still keep their hobbies once they have children—I assume. I haven't figured out the balance yet.
 
Null Hypothesis

For the record, I do not share the opinions of the main character that southern California is "all that" and that the entirety of Canada can be localized as "bumfuck Canada."

#entry
 
Make the job of collecting entries instantaneous! And since I am not jaunting off to another country this weekend it will be effortless. I think. It should work. In theory.

-

I love the story I'm writing. Sadly I don't think it will work so well when others read it - I can already tell that much. But that's okay. Very rarely do I write something for myself.
 
bell book and candle
cast the other out
the weak one, the meek one, the one who never dares

ring now the bell
mortify the soul
brush aside excuses, sanctify your goal

close now the book
separate the self
sit the bench in judgment, call guilt upon yourself

quench now the candle
expurgate the mind
winnow errant pieces, those you'll leave behind

fiat fiat fiat
now the rite is done
pretend that there were two of you, and now is only one
 
Hmm. Missed a couple. Dammit!

Will add the rest manually when I wake up. But at least the script works nice enough. Took a thousandth of second.

Next step - create it so that anybody can run it!

Edit: 12pm BST isn't usually the cut off point for anybody new coming to the thread. Feel free to enter over the next couple of hours. I'll add you up when I wake up.
 
Entry coming shortly... not a proper one, to use a cliche like getting blood from a stone.

#entry

Life on Mars

Sorry for not following the format, couldn't work out how to add the title field to the edit.
 
> see thread
> get excited
> spend all morning developing a story
> hours later happen to check date
> "wait... yesterday was the 14 October?"
> *charlie brown walk*
 
Ashes said:
I love the story I'm writing. Sadly I don't think it will work so well when others read it - I can already tell that much. But that's okay. Very rarely do I write something for myself.
Click to expand...

Sometimes when I consciously or unconsciously write for someone else, I muck up the story even more. Perhaps my style or content or voice is less honest. Maybe you are the other way around, though.

Also, thanks for the template about how to submit entries. I forgot the "#entry" the first time. And a title, but I don't think I can go back and edit the title.
 
1. FlowersisBritish
2. Mike M
3. Ashes

Gobsmacked by Cowlick - I really enjoyed this but the ending didn't make sense to me, the choking scene is written as him really choking, from his pov, as far as I can tell. Also even if he was pretending, that's a little too unkind to his family. But up till then it was great, there are some lovely bits like 'a foodie with a bloggie', and all the descriptions of the food were hilarious.

The Coral Circle by FlowersisBritish - this was great. A few things: killing Mikale was a bit abrupt, and doing it via another sailor was pretty unnecessary, and was only there to demonstrate it for the finale. Also typos :( Great characters, wonderfully atmospheric as usual, quite exciting to read, the showdown at the end was great, though I was hoping for a bit more of a reveal of the gods.

Null Hypothesis by Tangent - behavioural ecology was one of my favourite units at university. I really enjoyed this story. I would have liked her research explained more! The ending made me laugh.

Anathema by Cyan - I know nothing about poetry but I really liked this, I liked the... metre (?) the rhythm. And your word choices and phrasing.

No See Ums by Mike M - I enjoyed this a lot. Very smooth read, though I'm really not sure how the invisibility works. Maybe you provided all the needed info but I can't work it out. This story came across as a scene from a longer work.

Threadbare Dreams by Ashes - the style of conversation took a little getting used to but I like how this progressed.
 
Hello all. I'm not entering (obviously) but thought you guys might like to read this little thing I wrote. Comments are also welcome.



It's just in an email tag, hit quote to read (and remember, you can expand the text entry box in the post reply page!)
 
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