RubberLuffy
Banned
There will be spoilers for the whole game
So I was lying in bed last night, as you do, but instead of sleeping I just thought about this topic and the idea of making a thread about it. Suicide is something I have a close relationship with, my father did it 9 years ago, my sister has attempted it numerous times and I am routinely plagued with thoughts of doing it myself. So N:A struck a chord with me in how it approaches suicide very much unlike pretty much any other game out there.
To start, I'll go over one of the first overt instances you encounter, the Machine Lifeform cult in the factory. What initially seems as the Machines experimenting with religion quickly becomes a death cult with the "death" of their Leader, Kierkegaard. You're chased through the factory as the Machines scream at you to "become as gods", as they've come to the conclusion that death is the final salvation. When you run through the areas of the factory you saw in the prologue, you witness numerous Machines jumping into fire, yelling that they will be "freed from their torment". It's an unnerving sequence of events, and the main character 2B and her partner for this section, Pascal, are mostly just confused. There's no condemning and there's no praise for the things they witnessed, much like most things in the game.
Later in the game (Route B to be exact) you encounter a small number of Wise Machines perched atop high structures. They don't respond to your attempts to communicate, but 9S can hack into them to hear their inner thoughts. They're plagued with thoughts of worthlessness, that "none of us in this world are loved", that their existence of just being cogs in a fruitless war has no meaning. Some of these thoughts have mirrored my own, and the effect of hacking also causes 9S to start to mirror these thoughts as well. But the conclusion these Machines come to is self-termination, as the fling themselves from their perches and explode on the ground below. 9S is incredulous, how could a being just choose to end it? I've had the same thoughts as well, did my father have the same ideas? Was everything truly not worth it? Did he think he wasn't loved in this world? I'll never know.
Flash forward to Route C, and 9S has quickly deteriorated mentally, following 2B's infection with a virus and subsequent suicide via unit A2. If you do the Gathering Keepsakes sidequest, in which 9S is tasked with finding the remains of a Resistance member's friends, it ends with 9S going to Emil's sanctuary and placing a grave for 2B. After finishing, he remarks that he'll "be with her soon", revealing that he doesn't plan on living after his goal of killing the Machines and A2, whether he dies by their hands or his own. Only his rage keeps him going, with death being the only relief.
But Nier: Automata ends with hope. The Machines leave the planet, in hopes of finding a new world, hopefully one where they can escape the cycle of death and war, and find meaning in their existence. 2B, 9S and A2 are given a second chance at life, a chance to move forward in the world, a chance to maybe make the same mistakes they already did but by their own free will. And the person playing the game fights for their sake as well during the final hacking minigame, where after numerous defeats you are given help by other players. When everything is at its worst, there are still other people who are willing to give a hand. Don't give up, keep fighting. That's what I'm going to do.
NieR: Automata is a very personal game. It really depends on the person playing it what they get out of it. To quote a Machine from the game, "How much you enjoy something depends on your own heart". This was just a sample of some moments that really left a mark on me.
I'm not really used to writing anything as longform as this, it is kind of an experiment in getting some thoughts out.
So I was lying in bed last night, as you do, but instead of sleeping I just thought about this topic and the idea of making a thread about it. Suicide is something I have a close relationship with, my father did it 9 years ago, my sister has attempted it numerous times and I am routinely plagued with thoughts of doing it myself. So N:A struck a chord with me in how it approaches suicide very much unlike pretty much any other game out there.
To start, I'll go over one of the first overt instances you encounter, the Machine Lifeform cult in the factory. What initially seems as the Machines experimenting with religion quickly becomes a death cult with the "death" of their Leader, Kierkegaard. You're chased through the factory as the Machines scream at you to "become as gods", as they've come to the conclusion that death is the final salvation. When you run through the areas of the factory you saw in the prologue, you witness numerous Machines jumping into fire, yelling that they will be "freed from their torment". It's an unnerving sequence of events, and the main character 2B and her partner for this section, Pascal, are mostly just confused. There's no condemning and there's no praise for the things they witnessed, much like most things in the game.
Later in the game (Route B to be exact) you encounter a small number of Wise Machines perched atop high structures. They don't respond to your attempts to communicate, but 9S can hack into them to hear their inner thoughts. They're plagued with thoughts of worthlessness, that "none of us in this world are loved", that their existence of just being cogs in a fruitless war has no meaning. Some of these thoughts have mirrored my own, and the effect of hacking also causes 9S to start to mirror these thoughts as well. But the conclusion these Machines come to is self-termination, as the fling themselves from their perches and explode on the ground below. 9S is incredulous, how could a being just choose to end it? I've had the same thoughts as well, did my father have the same ideas? Was everything truly not worth it? Did he think he wasn't loved in this world? I'll never know.
Flash forward to Route C, and 9S has quickly deteriorated mentally, following 2B's infection with a virus and subsequent suicide via unit A2. If you do the Gathering Keepsakes sidequest, in which 9S is tasked with finding the remains of a Resistance member's friends, it ends with 9S going to Emil's sanctuary and placing a grave for 2B. After finishing, he remarks that he'll "be with her soon", revealing that he doesn't plan on living after his goal of killing the Machines and A2, whether he dies by their hands or his own. Only his rage keeps him going, with death being the only relief.
But Nier: Automata ends with hope. The Machines leave the planet, in hopes of finding a new world, hopefully one where they can escape the cycle of death and war, and find meaning in their existence. 2B, 9S and A2 are given a second chance at life, a chance to move forward in the world, a chance to maybe make the same mistakes they already did but by their own free will. And the person playing the game fights for their sake as well during the final hacking minigame, where after numerous defeats you are given help by other players. When everything is at its worst, there are still other people who are willing to give a hand. Don't give up, keep fighting. That's what I'm going to do.
NieR: Automata is a very personal game. It really depends on the person playing it what they get out of it. To quote a Machine from the game, "How much you enjoy something depends on your own heart". This was just a sample of some moments that really left a mark on me.
I'm not really used to writing anything as longform as this, it is kind of an experiment in getting some thoughts out.
