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GAF Secret Confessions. V 3.0: Let it all out.

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R

ronito

Member
The how:
Send secret confessions to gafconfess@gmail.com
I'll check it periodically and post them here.
You can look for an anonymous emailer out there. There must be one. I will not post email addresses. But if you don't want it coming back to you take some care of your own identity.

The rules:
1. Try to keep it as clean as possible.
2. Don't make stuff up.
3. Don't admit to anything seriously illegal. You can and will get in trouble. Anonymity only goes so far.
4. None of this "then a couple of guys who were up to no good..." crap.
5. Don't make stuff up.
6. Remember detective GAF: Don't put anything out there that you don't want public.
7. Anything emailed has the consent to be posted.
8. Don't post anything that would make GAF liable.
9. Be nice.
10. Don't make stuff up.
 
Oh sh- I was wondering if this thread was ever gonna get revived; I even thought about making it myself, but I didn't know if the mods have any issue with it, these always have some hilariously disastrous results.
 
It doesn't sound too tempting when half your rules for "Secret Confessions" involve everyone finding out who you are.
 
Baker said:
It doesn't sound too tempting when half your rules for "Secret Confessions" involve everyone finding out who you are.
Click to expand...
Hey man, after all the thread backfires lately. I'm just saying caveat emptor.
 
themadcowtipper said:
sits and awaits for the cousin lovin that sure to follow...
Click to expand...

I want to bone my cousin so hard.

Preferably while he suffocates me with a bunch of pillows.
 
I've been filling a milk jug with my semen for over 4 months now and making steady progress. Once it's filled I plan on throwing it at the crippled kid that lives down the street from me
 
BirdFlu said:
I've been filling a milk jug with my semen for over 4 months now and making steady progress. Once it's filled I plan on throwing it at the crippled kid that lives down the street from me
Click to expand...

You too?
 
When I was 10 years old I viewed the movie "The Professional"

That day I fell hopelessly in-love with Natalie Portman. 10 years later I still have an unbreakable infatuation with her.

It's so bad that I've judged every single girl I've ever met to her. Comparing every aspect of their being to her. Usually I decide they are inferior so I then forget about them.

She is my dream girl. My angel. I <3 her.
 
i've wanted for a long time to kick the ass of people who call you names on the cinema line

i just get this urging feeling like my blood is boiling, but then start getting afraid because i know they will be hurt badly for a long time
 
Once I smoked some ganja and went to a local football game somehow, don't remember how I got there, sure enough my mother was there and I asked her to take me home for some reason. She never even knew I was high. But the funny thing is that I was tweeking bad when I saw her, so I just kept going "CLUTCH MODE" until I calmed down. Now anytime I'm high and need to calm down, I just keep yelling "CLUTCH MODE ACTIVATE, ON, GO GO GO, etc".

Nothing special, just the first thing that came to mind.
 
I told a girl "did the Spartans give up when they faced the Persian Empire?" in reference to the fact I was still a virgin.

We shall see if it worked within 48 hours.
 
I saw Scarface when I was 5 and had nightmares about it when I went to bed that night. I think I was sad that Tony died at the end or something.
 
Last night after too many Shots of Red Peach Bacardi (you guys gotta try this if you like peach and drinking) Spent some time with the lady friend... make that mistake that all guys make and pass out right after sex as opposed to getting cleaned up... woke up to pee @ 4 am and had one of those... Shower head with too much Lime and Calcium Bulidup moments... my urine goes every direction but the way Ive decided to point my pecker.. Im sure it got all over... quite a few things..

The I promptly went back to bed a fell asleep.
 
fistfulofmetal said:
When I was 10 years old I viewed the movie "The Professional"

That day I fell hopelessly in-love with Natalie Portman. 10 years later I still have an unbreakable infatuation with her.

It's so bad that I've judged every single girl I've ever met to her. Comparing every aspect of their being to her. Usually I decide they are inferior so I then forget about them.

She is my dream girl. My angel. I <3 her.
Click to expand...


natalieasscrackscratch.jpg
 
I've tried to wank at some gay pictures, but with no result, my penis stayed dead. It was just a private test to find out if I was becoming gay since it was one of those days..
 
Ever since I got over my homophobic-ness I have kind of wanted a gay guy to be attracted to me. Not gay though, just want to see if I can pull it off.
 
EviLore said:
natalieasscrackscratch.jpg
Click to expand...
:lol After he said all that and confessed his love, you post this? You truly are what your name implies.

:lol And damn, she's all in the opened digging away like that...wow. I don't even have people hiding in dumpsters and bushes to take my photo and I have never done that in public. That's on another level of nasty.
 
Ok finally got a few emails:
1. I regret being unable to bump ronito's birthday thread, due to being banned.

2. There's a girl who comes to my store who I nicknamed Serafitia,
because I decided that's what Sera would look like irl. I always wait
for her to come up and go, "Hell, you may know me as the artist
formerly known as serafitia", but she never does it.

3. It's not that I'm a Kobayashi fan, I just really don't like Joey Chestnut.
Click to expand...

My wife knows I love her deeply and would never cheat on her. But she's still very jealous. Well a few nights ago I had a dream about my mother in law, who is very, VERY physically UNattractive. In this dream I had sex with her in front of my wife. I was physically repulsed and disturbed. Thing is I can't tell my wife because she'll think I'm a freak. But it's really bugging me.
Click to expand...

Come on guys. Last time these threads were great. Send 'em in!
 
My brother is 9 years younger than me. When I was about 15, the local bully in my neighborhood (who I believe was about 18 or 19) would push me around. I did nothing.

Then one day he started chucking acorns at my brother and me when we were walking past. This infuriated me because he actually hit my little brother in the head a couple of times. I yelled, "STOP!" but didn't do anything other than running away from him with my brother.

Feeling helpless and like a big pussy, I got even more mad. I fixated on this image of bashing his face in with a brick. I picture hitting him with it from behind to knock him down, then sitting on his chest and repeatedly hammering his nose, eyes and mouth with the brick over and over as blood splattered all over me and he eventually stopped moving.

This image didn't leave my thoughts for the better part of a week. Then, as teenagers do, I moved on to some other distraction. Another week passed and I saw a classmate at the local community center. He asked if I had heard about what happened to Bill (the bully) the previous week.

I hadn't. It turned out that he wasn't watching where he was going when he crossed the street and a car hit him from behind. He was thrown a good distance and landed by the curb, head first, cracking open his skull and killing him.

This made me feel guilty at first that I had wished him harm, then paranoid that I willed his death. For a while I imagined that I had some sort of horrific super power. As I grew older, I chalked it up to bad karma.

I've never told any of that to anyone before.
 
AVclub said:
My brother is 9 years younger than me. When I was about 15, the local bully in my neighborhood (who I believe was about 18 or 19) would push me around. I did nothing.

Then one day he started chucking acorns at my brother and me when we were walking past. This infuriated me because he actually hit my little brother in the head a couple of times. I yelled, "STOP!" but didn't do anything other than running away from him with my brother.

Feeling helpless and like a big pussy, I got even more mad. I fixated on this image of bashing his face in with a brick. I picture hitting him with it from behind to knock him down, then sitting on his chest and repeatedly hammering his nose, eyes and mouth with the brick over and over as blood splattered all over me and he eventually stopped moving.

This image didn't leave my thoughts for the better part of a week. Then, as teenagers do, I moved on to some other distraction. Another week passed and I saw a classmate at the local community center. He asked if I had heard about what happened to Bill (the bully) the previous week.

I hadn't. It turned out that he wasn't watching where he was going when he crossed the street and a car hit him from behind. He was thrown a good distance and landed by the curb, head first, cracking open his skull and killing him.

This made me feel guilty at first that I had wished him harm, then paranoid that I willed his death. For a while I imagined that I had some sort of horrific super power. As I grew older, I chalked it up to bad karma.

I've never told any of that to anyone before.
Click to expand...

You're a real asshole.
 
Confession time again? Ok here's a new one. Lately when I go to parties I engage strictly in mingling with people. Although the prospect of alcohol/drinking is in enticing but every time I'd like to lose my inhibitions, I always change my mind. Seeing my friends and company make complete asses of themselves(on the level of it not being funny) and endangering themselves sours me. I drink hardly if ever just to keep an eye out for everyone. They think this makes me seem like a jerk but truth is I'm doing it for them.
 
AVclub said:
My brother is 9 years younger than me. When I was about 15, the local bully in my neighborhood (who I believe was about 18 or 19) would push me around. I did nothing.

Then one day he started chucking acorns at my brother and me when we were walking past. This infuriated me because he actually hit my little brother in the head a couple of times. I yelled, "STOP!" but didn't do anything other than running away from him with my brother.

Feeling helpless and like a big pussy, I got even more mad. I fixated on this image of bashing his face in with a brick. I picture hitting him with it from behind to knock him down, then sitting on his chest and repeatedly hammering his nose, eyes and mouth with the brick over and over as blood splattered all over me and he eventually stopped moving.

This image didn't leave my thoughts for the better part of a week. Then, as teenagers do, I moved on to some other distraction. Another week passed and I saw a classmate at the local community center. He asked if I had heard about what happened to Bill (the bully) the previous week.

I hadn't. It turned out that he wasn't watching where he was going when he crossed the street and a car hit him from behind. He was thrown a good distance and landed by the curb, head first, cracking open his skull and killing him.

This made me feel guilty at first that I had wished him harm, then paranoid that I willed his death. For a while I imagined that I had some sort of horrific super power. As I grew older, I chalked it up to bad karma.

I've never told any of that to anyone before.
Click to expand...

You're doing it wrong, but nice story.
 
1. I regret being unable to bump ronito's birthday thread, due to being banned.

2. There's a girl who comes to my store who I nicknamed Serafitia,
because I decided that's what Sera would look like irl. I always wait
for her to come up and go, "Hell, you may know me as the artist
formerly known as serafitia", but she never does it.

3. It's not that I'm a Kobayashi fan, I just really don't like Joey Chestnut.
Click to expand...

This sounds like Bjork.
 
fistfulofmetal said:
When I was 10 years old I viewed the movie "The Professional"

That day I fell hopelessly in-love with Natalie Portman. 10 years later I still have an unbreakable infatuation with her.

It's so bad that I've judged every single girl I've ever met to her. Comparing every aspect of their being to her. Usually I decide they are inferior so I then forget about them.

She is my dream girl. My angel. I <3 her.
Click to expand...
Creepy...
 
Anasui Kishibe said:
nah, two years ago I wasn't interested in girls anymore. I mean completely apathetic about vaginas and stuff. So, checked just in case
Click to expand...

So, are you back into girls now?

Just Curious ... cause that sounds like you might be into Men.
 
FootNinja said:
Ever since I got over my homophobic-ness I have kind of wanted a gay guy to be attracted to me. Not gay though, just want to see if I can pull it off.
Click to expand...

That really doesnt sound not Gay..

Maybe this thread can be a coming out party for a few of you guys!
 
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