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Kusoge lovers unite! What's your favorite crap game?

Y

Y2Kev

TLG Fan Caretaker Est. 2009
Like REALLY crap, not "hur hur mario 2." I personally am a big lover of kusoge. I enjoy playing a crap game sometimes almost as much as a good one-- the thrill of navigating horrible game design, terrible graphics, atrocious writing, and broken controls is often as much fun as it is to get a high score in a good arcade game.

I submit to you my first love:

Aidyn_Chronicles-_The_First_Mage_game_cover.jpg


This game is complete shit on a stick. Well, maybe not TOTAL shit on a stick, but it has a high shit to stick ratio. The graphics are horrible and the game is plagued with slowdown, the music is sparse (and when it does play it is horrible), the combat system is confusing and there is absolutely no balance or logical character progression system, there is basically no character development throughout the entire story, and one part of the game has you wander aimlessly through an N64-style foggy snow mountain until you find some random hut where you have to fight like eight trolls at once. It's a miracle I got as far in this game before I decided I didn't hate myself THAT much. I remember shutting it off and BOOT CAMP being on Fox.

I also submit to you (man, the n64 was really...):

dual-heroes.518201.jpg


N64 fans kind of longed for fighting games. I want to say this was one of the first ones announced. And let me tell you! It is one of the WORST. Horrible graphics, atrocious art, no balance, shit music, shit everything. It's just an atrocious game. I treasure it in my collection as being a rare morsel of fully formed shit that eeked itself out from its creator's ass without somehow being cancelled.

I submit to you:

Mortal_Kombat_Mythologies_Sub_Zero_pal-front.jpg


MAN THIS GAME WAS SHIT. IT HAS A TURN AROUND BUTTON. But Sub Zero was so cool! Therefore I treasure it.

I submit to you:

200px-WhackedXbox.jpg


HEY LETS PLAY THIS GAME! ITS CALLED WHACKED! And it's really horrible. BUT it was one of the first online games for the original Xbox, and it had the stupidestly awesome flash video ever.
 
I used to play really bad games as a kid. Dark Castle on the Amiga was one such game. It was so bad, so broken, so hard, and just not fun but yet I kept playing it. I'm not sure why, but it sucked.

Saboteur 2 was another game I used to play on my old 286 PC. It was shit too. Stupid fucking ninja looking for his goddamn bike in a retardedly confusing maze like enemy building fortress. Why couldn't he just buy a new bike. It was really bad and the combat was shit.

TMNT NES was another really crappy game that I kept playing. The electric seaweed stage? LOLZ. And honestly, why were all the enemies random generic flying or crawling monsters when the series was about..... I dunno Footsoldiers fighting the Turtles. Lame.
 
Count Dookkake said:
Escape from Bug Island
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I finished that game, and Batman: Dark Tomorrow too.

Both cases were I was continuing just to see just how much worse it was gonna get. I still have a healthy stack of awesome games I've played only a bit, but I continued to pour hour after hour into some shit game I was only enjoying on a conceptual level. I still do this sometimes, I don't know why.
help me. I'm sick.
 
4ka05d.png

Enter the Matrix (PS2)

I spent more hours playing this game than I care to admit. I found the melee combat system a lot of fun and bullet time gunplay was neat. Hacking was enjoyable. Spark's Training construct was totally addictive once I unlocked the survival mode area. The controls were too imprecise to do the coolest stuff on command, but once in a while my character would spontaneously deliver an absolutely wicked kill to one or sometimes even a small group of enemies.

Edit: Oh! I just thought of another one.

29vj4ib.jpg

Transformers: Beast Wars Transmetals (PS1)

I'm humiliated to admit I was deeply addicted to this game for several months. It really was a lot of fun.
 
Nathan Rain said:
4331.jpg


I really don't know why I enjoyed this game, it was such a steaming pile of shit.
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I think basically all non-Halo 1st party MS games were at Xbox launch. Azurik, Nightcaster, etc. All total shit.
 
I've only completed three games that could be considered "crap":

jb1oih.jpg

Toy Story for PC...

j67jwo.jpg

Cacoma Knight in Bizyland...

...and TMNT for NES (which was actually for a time my favourite game).
 
ILOSTMYBOX said:
God Hand count?
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Prepare for GAF to attack you senselessly.

Y2Kev said:
I think basically all non-Halo 1st party MS games were at Xbox launch. Azurik, Nightcaster, etc. All total shit.
Click to expand...

Well Blood Wake wasn't horrible lke Azurik was, but it wasn't as good as Twisted Metal (which isn't much of a series to live up to if you ask me).
 
Did you ever play the toystory point and click adventure game for the PC? It was pretty cool, though hardly an adventure game really.
 
There was a period where I actually played a ton of Simple 2000 games on the PS2. Some of them are pretty damn fun (Genshijin, EDF, EDF2) but man, some are downride fucking bad. Here are some bad ones that normal people should avoid, but kusoge lovers MUST check out:

The Pirate - This is a kinda a Dynasty Warrior clone.... maybe. You're a pirate and you have a single set of attacks. You attack other ships to loot them, but pretty much every single ship design is the same tiny ship stage that looks the same. The enemies range from normal human enemies, to ZOMBIES..... mostly ZOMBIES. You attack a bunch of enemies that all look the same by mashing a single button over and over, and sometimes you fight a bigger version of the enemies as a midboss. It's really repetitive and really terrible. There's no depth to the game and it's pretty horrifying how anyone could have felt good about making a game out of it. A must have for Kusoge lovers.

EDF Tactics - Now, EDF is pretty much the shining beacon of hope in the murky waters of kusoge hell that is the Simple 2000 series. So when it's announced that there's going to be a turn based strategy version of EDF, the reaction was OMG! It even looked kinda like Nectaris! OMG OMG COULD IT BE THE NEXT BIG SIMPLE 2000 GAME?! FUCK NO! It's a painful amateur attempt at turning the EDF theme into a poor Nectaris clone. It's hex-based, it's turn-based, and yes there are tons of states. But it's just not fun. Boring mission after mission, with missions getting longer and longer, and having to watch really painful 3D attack animations that would not be out of place on a Saturn. Ew. >_<
 
jooey said:
I liked Alundra 2. :(
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I played it on PS2 and I was like, "why is the dialog all sped up?" I thought it was okami-style gibberish. alundra 2 is soooo bad.
 
Y2Kev said:
Did you ever play the toystory point and click adventure game for the PC? It was pretty cool, though hardly an adventure game really.
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Never heard of it. I used to get a lot of licensed crap for Christmas as a kid, and Toy Story was the only one I could sit through. Guess that makes it an "okay" game in it's own right.
 
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I think my favourite kusoge has to be...

DevilMayCry4Boxart.jpg


It was enjoyable but seriously, kusooooooooooooooo geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
 
Kyoufu said:
&#12465;&#12499;&#12531;&#12540;&#12367;&#12435;,

&#12394;&#12380;&#12463;&#12477;&#12466;&#12364;&#22909;&#12365;&#12391;&#12377;&#12363;&#65311;&#12288;&#12463;&#12477;&#12466;&#12434;&#36938;&#12409;&#12427;&#26178;&#12399;&#12497;&#12531;&#12484;&#12398;&#20013;&#12395;&#20986;&#12414;&#12377;&#12363;&#65311;

I think my favourite kusoge has to be...

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y101/Carbonox_ratchet/DevilMayCry4Boxart.jpg

It was enjoyable but seriously, kusooooooooooooooo geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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Oh, please. There's no way DMC4 is a crap game. Mediocre at worst.
 
Kyoufu said:
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I think my favourite kusoge has to be...

DevilMayCry4Boxart.jpg


It was enjoyable but seriously, kusooooooooooooooo geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Click to expand...

Yeah, game did turn out to be crap ;/ I still own it somehow though...
 
People that don't understand the point of this thread get GTFO. This isn't a "name a popular game you played last month that you didn't like" thread. It's a thread about appreciating and depreciating games that are pretty much utter worthless in production values, gameplay and logical entertainment value. :D
 
Bad Boys: Miami Takedown.

Must've been bored when I got it as a gift, but I had fun with this.

Y2Kev said:
I think basically all non-Halo 1st party MS games were at Xbox launch. Azurik, Nightcaster, etc. All total shit.
Click to expand...

I had fun with Azurik and Nightcaster...

Guess they count too. :lol
 
Yeah, stuff you are playing and don't like might be kusoge (MIGHT be), but then you're not a kusoge lover. This is about crap games that we depreciate but still offer our love.

Another one I just thought of: Quest 64 :(
 
trespass_screen003.jpg


Trespasser

Even though pretty much everything sucked about it, I found it to be pretty immersive, especially at such a young age. And the box art was probably some of the best I've seen.
 
Kyoufu said:
It was really crap to me. Maybe we can agree on this one then?

http://www.mangahunter.com/images/heavenly-sword.jpg
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Haven't played it yet, can you believe it? Sadface.

duckroll said:
People that don't understand the point of this thread get GTFO. This isn't a "name a popular game you played last month that you didn't like" thread. It's a thread about appreciating and depreciating games that are pretty much utter worthless in production values, gameplay and logical entertainment value. :D
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Well said!
14uvnv6.gif
 
My "favorite" crap game:

34rvec2.jpg


I needed a Zelda fix and I had read this was a shameless Zelda clone, so I went for it. Too bad I didn't wait for the reviews.

Yet another lame retelling of Journey to the West, Monkey Hero follows the adventures of... Monkey. He meets interesting characters, like Bear and Rhino. He has firecrackers instead of bombs, spears instead of arrows, and finds peaches instead of heart containers. The music is dreadful and the game is rather ugly.

Somehow I suffered through over five hours of this garbage. I guess I had wasted my weekend rental and I wanted to get the most out of it.

Y2Kev said:
Aidyn_Chronicles-_The_First_Mage_game_cover.jpg


This game is complete shit on a stick. Well, maybe not TOTAL shit on a stick, but it has a high shit to stick ratio. The graphics are horrible and the game is plagued with slowdown, the music is sparse (and when it does play it is horrible), the combat system is confusing and there is absolutely no balance or logical character progression system, there is basically no character development throughout the entire story, and one part of the game has you wander aimlessly through an N64-style foggy snow mountain until you find some random hut where you have to fight like eight trolls at once. It's a miracle I got as far in this game before I decided I didn't hate myself THAT much. I remember shutting it off and BOOT CAMP being on Fox.
Click to expand...

Aidyn Chronicles was just too damn ambitious for the N64. I played a few hours of it and I really think it might have been worthwhile on a stronger platform, but I agree with most of your characterization (especially the music, jesus christ).

The only positive thing I can say about it: the battle system was pretty good, a more advanced version of the one in Quest 64 (a game in which it was ALSO the sole redeeming factor).
 
Betrayal_in_Antara_Cover.jpg


This was one of the founding games of my childhood, and one of the reasons I became an avid gamer. I was almost heart broken when I read online years later that this game is utter crap and a disgrace to Betrayal at Krondor.
 
I think I've pinpointed what the sick, twisted allure of shitty games are. With quality games, you go in expecting that it's going to be a Good Game. And with the internet hype, maybe even a Great Game. And that weighs on your mind the entire time. You're thinking, I'm supposed to like this. I'm supposed to enjoy this. And it colors your experience in a different way. Maybe you'll come out of it loving the Good/Great Game, or hating it, but that hype and build-up and anticipation is there already.

Now the terrible game... you know it's going to be a Shitty Game, and therefore you mess around with it, not really caring as much, and in the process, end up having a lot more fun than you intended. It's like when kids play with a stick or a box for hours at a time, and ignore more expensive, "better" toys. Not bashing those superior toys, but just saying that pleasure can be taken from pretty much anything.
 
Y2Kev said:
Yeah, stuff you are playing and don't like might be kusoge (MIGHT be), but then you're not a kusoge lover. This is about crap games that we depreciate but still offer our love.

Another one I just thought of: Quest 64 :(
Click to expand...

Oh I thought this was about kusoge we actually played from beginning to end and got some enjoyment from.

Usually when I play crap games I put it down and never play it again after 30mins/1hour, and if they're really bad I end up with a headache after the process. :(
 
Enduin said:
Betrayal_in_Antara_Cover.jpg


This was one of the founding games of my childhood, and one of the reasons I became an avid gamer. I was almost heart broken when I read online years later that this game is utter crap and a disgrace to Betrayal at Krondor.
Click to expand...
Holy crap, I got this game for my 10th birthday I think. The people at the store told my aunt and uncle that it was the "hot game." It's so....so....shit. I never really understood what I was doing.
 
I've beaten a few kusoge' in my time but one of the more memorable was likely this gem -
176-1.jpg


I enjoyed the comic book but the game was a broken mess, if you failed at any point during the 45 minute long stages you were sent back to the start of the entire level, it was like a lo rent metal gear though so if you snuck up and stealth killed every enemy the game was easily beaten . I actually saw it through to the end. Also a plus- laughably terrible CG movies where the characters breasts moved in strange ways.

602951.jpg


I lasted 20 minutes into this one, it only cost me 5 dollars and did have some nice sprite work , it's just a shame it was 'totemo kusoge".
 
1cesc said:
I've only completed three games that could be considered "crap":

jb1oih.jpg

Toy Story for PC...

j67jwo.jpg

Cacoma Knight in Bizyland...

...and TMNT for NES (which was actually for a time my favourite game).
Click to expand...

I beat Cacoma Knight a few months ago... not terrible, but not great. It's nowhere near as good as some other Qix clones, for sure... the randomly placed treasure chests are frustrating sometimes. Will you find them? Who knows! And it's also really, really easy. But it's not THAT bad... just easy, short, and not as good as many other Qix games and clones. But if you like Qix, it's probably worth playing anyway.

As for TMNT 1 for the NES and PC, that one I agree with... I had it (for PC), and yeah, played it a lot, simply because it was TMNT, even though it was obviously a horribly frustrating game really not worth the time. But it was Ninja Turtles so it had to be good, right? :(

Some other examples of that for me were the Game Boy versions of The Lion King and Toy Story. Lion King was subpar and Toy Story absolutely terrible, but I got them because I'd liked the movies... Toy Story is still one of my most hated games ever. So um... why did I ever play it enough (before I sold it, something I NEVER do!) to get to the last level? Er... because it was there? But yeah, I actually got to the last level... didn't get as far in Lion King despite it being a somewhat better game, though (worst play control ever... but better than Toy Story!). That game had some amazing music and great graphics, but the gameplay and play control... I never got past the first mission after you become adult Simba. The controls got really frustrating and I couldn't beat those hyenas. :(

Toy Story doesn't apply to this thread because despite getting far I do pretty much hate the game, but Lion King... despite how bad it is, I can't completely hate it, and have gone back to it a few times over the years. I still love that soundtrack...

Oh yeah, and as far as futuristic racing games go, I don't know if I've ever played one that I disliked enough to actually say I dislike... :lol: (erm... Megarace 1, maybe, if it counts? I don't really like that one... funny videos, but awful gameplay. But beyond that, I'd consider almost everything I've played in the genre to be at least good. And I've played a lot of futuristic racing games... some I'd say are good that others likely wouldn't and have definite problems include Pod 2: Speed Zone for DC (it's Pod!), Aero Gauge for N64, etc. I'd list more, but "have definite problems" excludes so many games... :D)
 
this thread depresses me since a couple of these games I like

and if only because it caught my eye when I was looking through my PS2 games

2wod84p.jpg
 
I think I kinda enjoyed Eternal Phantasia when I rented it... I think

Im not even sure if I got the name right, tbh :lol :lol
 
... Why do these thread always bash N64 games... okay, Dual Heroes was terrible and deserves it, but still.

Y2Kev said:
Aidyn_Chronicles-_The_First_Mage_game_cover.jpg


This game is complete shit on a stick. Well, maybe not TOTAL shit on a stick, but it has a high shit to stick ratio. The graphics are horrible and the game is plagued with slowdown, the music is sparse (and when it does play it is horrible), the combat system is confusing and there is absolutely no balance or logical character progression system, there is basically no character development throughout the entire story, and one part of the game has you wander aimlessly through an N64-style foggy snow mountain until you find some random hut where you have to fight like eight trolls at once. It's a miracle I got as far in this game before I decided I didn't hate myself THAT much. I remember shutting it off and BOOT CAMP being on Fox.
Click to expand...

Wait, Aidyn was originally going to be two player and have internal save? That would have been pretty awesome... neither of those made it into the final version though. :(

As I've said a few times here before though (this post here for instance, as well as a couple other posts in the next couple pages of that thread), I'm one of the few people who honestly liked Aidyn Chronicles. Sure it has a lot of horrible bugs, is very slow paced, etc, but the ambition is very impressive, the battle system fun even if it is slow (nicely strategic!), and the game really good... there's a huge, well designed world to explore, lots to do... sure the game has big flaws (don't just use one save file, they can corrupt... save often, if anyone dies they're gone forever... etc...), but I thought the good points were good enough to make it a pretty good game overall.

As for the framerate, it is pretty bad sometimes, but that's far from uncommon on the N64, so I don't really mind. And in hi-res mode the game looks decent (apart from the not very good ingame character art), particularly for the kinds of huge environments they're doing.

... it is kind of hard to defend a game when it's as buggy and flawed as Aidyn Chronicles, but the things that were finished and done right were, I thought, really good, and mostly made up for the problems. It is something you need to put a huge amount of time into, though... and the more you play it the more likely you are to run into the bugs. But even so... Maybe that is what you mean, something where you can admit significant flaws, but think that the game is good anyway because of the other things about the game that you liked? However, no game is perfect... for every game, it really is a story of "how much do you care about the problems?". If you like a game enough, you won't care about a game's problems, even if they're significant, while if you dislike playing it, you'll nitpick every detail, most likely...

Night_Trekker said:
Aidyn Chronicles was just too damn ambitious for the N64. I played a few hours of it and I really think it might have been worthwhile on a stronger platform, but I agree with most of your characterization (especially the music, jesus christ).

The only positive thing I can say about it: the battle system was pretty good, a more advanced version of the one in Quest 64 (a game in which it was ALSO the sole redeeming factor).
Click to expand...

I agree, one of the main problems was just that it was so unbelievably ambitious. They were making a deep, complex RPG with a strategic combat system, multiple characters to add to your party, a huge world to explore, castles that are sized to be as large as actual castles would be, lots of characters, items, spells, a complex game system... it was just too much for the developers, and it showed with all the bugs, missing features, and compromises (see: framerate). But even so, what they did accomplish was so, so impressive... and the things it did right it did really, really well. I really do think it's a good game overall, though it's most definitely not for everyone.
 
Speevy said:
friday13-cover.jpg
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I loved this game...I even beat it twice.

I hate that i came in here, but i guess i have to throw this one out there if im going to be a trooper and not lie.

1zgysnl.jpg

Yeah, i seriously used to play this game....for quite some time. I found out after a while that there was no point what so ever..

There, i said it, now kill me.
 
A Black Falcon said:
I beat Cacoma Knight a few months ago... not terrible, but not great. It's nowhere near as good as some other Qix clones, for sure... the randomly placed treasure chests are frustrating sometimes. Will you find them? Who knows! And it's also really, really easy. But it's not THAT bad... just easy, short, and not as good as many other Qix games and clones. But if you like Qix, it's probably worth playing anyway.
Click to expand...
Oh man, I love Qix clones. Cacoma Knight is probably the worst of the lot, though. For what it is, there are too many extraneous elements. Storyline, treasure chests, power-ups? Also, like you said, it was waay too easy. My first (and favourite) Qix clone was JezzBall.
 
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