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Dating A Bisexual Woman... ugh

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D

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
First off, I have never had insecurity or confidence issues before but lately life has felt the need to pitch me all kinds of curveballs. I've been seeing this woman on and off for about 2-3 months now and just recently we've decided to get serious. Cool. She's an amazing person and all that good stuff. Here's where things get weird - We're out among friends (hers & my own) one night having a couple of drinks and just having a good time when someone brings up the whole gay marriage debate. Blah blah blah, yatta yatta, then people start exchanging stories. Her roommate then spills the beans about my new girlfriend and her bisexuality.

"Oh don't worry, Jon is pretty chill guy - he's okay with the whole thing"

WHAT THE FUCK???

I just rolled with it at the time, but its been a couple of weeks now and I really just can't seem to get a clear understanding of the whole situation. I've never been a controlling type of guy, never cared when my gf went out with a guy before. I've always been confident and able to trust in my relationships. Plus, I've never even had the urge to compete with another guy before either but this shit... what the hell?

I don't like stressing over stuff like this. How do I know I'm not just a flavor of the month? A threesome would be awesome, but I'll be damned if I get kicked out in the middle of it.
 
I don't even remotely understand what is going on in the opening post.

Let me try and summarize:

Your girlfriend is bisexual. She didn't tell you.

Is there something I'm missing?
 
what is with straight men? having a bisexual girlfriend is what most of you ask for! in my opinion, its more people she can leave you for. not a plus at all. but come on OP, be real. talk to her.
 
Bisexual is really just a word that literally translates to "Likes to fuck a lot".

Don't worry about it.
 
I dated a Bi girl for about 2 weeks. I thought it would be awesome (I still should have hung on long enough to score the triple play), but she seemed to think it meant she could fuck whatever she wanted if it had a vagina. Said it wasn't cheating. :rolleyes

She was also a slut which might have been the real problem.
 
dark steve said:
I don't even remotely understand what is going on in the opening post.

Let me try and summarize:

Your girlfriend is bisexual. She didn't tell you.

Is there something I'm missing?
Click to expand...

Yeah, I have no clue how to be in a relationship with someone who likes women too.
 
I just rolled with it at the time, but its been a couple of weeks now and I really just can't seem to get a clear understanding of the whole situation. I've never been a controlling type of guy, never cared when my gf went out with a guy before. I've always been confident and able to trust in my relationships. Plus, I've never even had the urge to compete with another guy before either but this shit... what the hell?

I don't like stressing over stuff like this.
Click to expand...

I don't understand, why would you be jealous of women more than men? What can they do for her that you can't?
don't answer that

How do I know I'm not just a flavor of the month? A threesome would be awesome, but I'll be damned if I get kicked out in the middle of it.
Click to expand...

Are you assuming she's a slut just because she's bisexual? I don't understand this question.
 
Well if you stop being the chill guy chances are she will kick you out of the circle... Unless you're engaged or some shit stay cool and see where it leads, because if you push for it to be planned out you'll end up out of the trip.
 
DY_nasty said:
Yeah, I have no clue how to be in a relationship with someone who likes women too.
Click to expand...
Just fuck her a lot and don't get attached. She won't settle.

Get a 3some or two out of her and then toss that confused woman out the window.
 
DY_nasty said:
Yeah, I have no clue how to be in a relationship with someone who likes women too.
Click to expand...

what?

unless you're a fundie idiot who thinks that homosexuals and bisexuals are inherently more promiscuous (sic and a half), there is absolutely no reason this should be any different than a normal relationship. in fact, it's pretty damned stupid of you to immediately be thinking "oh hey, threesome - but what if she dumps me for her?"

fuck's sake.
 
Just make it clear you will murder whoever she fucks around with regardless of if it's a man or a woman.

It's the same thing as dating a straight woman, if she is a dumb hoe, she will be a dumb hoe.

She sounds like she isn't, so problem solved.
 
RubxQub said:
Bisexual is really just a word that literally translates to "Likes to fuck a lot".

Don't worry about it.
Click to expand...

this is truth, but likes to fuck alot usually ends along the lines of "whore".
 
btkadams said:
what is with straight men? having a bisexual girlfriend is what most of you ask for! in my opinion, its more people she can leave you for. not a plus at all. but come on OP, be real. talk to her.
Click to expand...
If I was still in the stage of my life where I was trying to fuck all the college cheerleaders in my area then this would be kind of cool, but I really want to just be exclusive with someone for a change. This is really just weird... She keeps saying its not a problem and understands where I'm coming from but clearly she's down for anything. I'm trying my best to roll with it for now. I know that no relationship is perfect but this really isn't what I expected and at the same time I'm not eager to bailout, she's a good one.
 
RubxQub said:
Just fuck her a lot and don't get attached. She won't settle.

Get a 3some or two out of her and then toss that confused woman out the window.
Click to expand...

Bingo!
 
StopMakingSense said:
Bisexuals are just like regular people, able to either maintain or not maintain a stable, monogamous relationship. really depends on the person.
Click to expand...
We all know they are cheating the system. Look, I'm sexually attracted to both Matthew Fox and Scarlett Johanson. I'd give Brad Pitt a BJ and go down on Katy Perry...but it doesn't mean I'm bisexual.

Is it really possible to be actually bisexual?
 
DY_nasty said:
Yeah, I have no clue how to be in a relationship with someone who likes women too.
Click to expand...

It's difficult. Too difficult for me. I dated and nearly married a bisexual woman. We could never quite work out the monogamy thing, and eventually I decided that was a deal breaker for me. It was entertaining while it lasted, though.

So, if you're just dating, I'd enjoy it for awhile, see what sort of mischief you can get into, and if it gets to where you aren't comfortable with it, move on.

I have to say that being in the relationship for three months without her telling you about her orientation doesn't bode well.
 
Men may say they want a bi-sexual girlfriend, but in reality, they don't. Bi-sexual really does usually translate to slut, unfortunately. I've known several girls who were "bi-sexual" and they were all legendary promiscuous girls in the area. Just the way it usually is, because if they were girls who didn't fuck around a lot, they would be "straight" or "gay" because they are spending a long time in a single relationship. Bisexual means that she flutters from man to woman to man generally. I'm not a hater with that lifestyle, just not the kinda girl you marry, you know?
 
DY_nasty said:
"Oh don't worry, Jon is pretty chill guy - he's okay with the whole thing"

WHAT THE FUCK???
Click to expand...

:lol

Imagining your face when you heard that was pure gold.

On topic: Not cool to make such kind of assumptions when you're already in a relationship. She should've told you that she was bisexual from the very beginning. It's not like one of those little secrets that show up as the relation grows. "Oh btw, I'm bisexual, hope you don't mind if I lick some pussy when we do a 3some".

Talk it with her, and chill dude, what's done is done. Maybe you will learn how to cope with it, maybe you won't.

And as someone already mentioned:

Bisexuals are just like regular people, able to either maintain or not maintain a stable, monogamous relationship. really depends on the person.
Click to expand...

Good luck dude.
 
Trevor360 said:
she absolutely has some a bunch of emotional baggage.
Click to expand...
Agreed.

Bailout.gif
 
vas_a_morir said:
Just the way it usually is, because if they were girls who didn't fuck around a lot, they would be "straight" or "gay" because they are spending a long time in a single relationship.
Click to expand...

That makes absolutely no sense.

Bisexual means that she flutters from man to woman to man generally. I'm not a hater with that lifestyle, just not the kinda girl you marry, you know?
Click to expand...

... No, it doesn't.

Congrats, you're ignorant and dumb!
 
So are you saying that not only do you have to watch out for your girlfriend when she is with other guys, but ALSO when she is with other women?

How would you compete against another woman? You CAN'T! Game over.
 
M3wThr33 said:
From my experience, girls that are bisexual are fucked up and crazy. Unstable is a good word.
Click to expand...
I cannot disagree with this post. I got nothing against bisexual girls, but I would honestly only be comfortable in a relationship with a heterosexual one.
 
DY_nasty said:
Yeah, I have no clue how to be in a relationship with someone who likes women too.
Click to expand...

Well, as a gay guy, I just don't see your problem. You like women, right? But you don't necessarily only like one type of woman, right? Like you might like blonds, or you might like brunettes, but you're not going to cheat on your gf just because you might feel attracted to someone with a different hair color, right?

Same basic concept. She may like both men and women, but she's WITH you. Just roll with it and don't worry about it.
 
Gaborn said:
Well, as a gay guy, I just don't see your problem. You like women, right? But you don't necessarily only like one type of woman, right? Like you might like blonds, or you might like brunettes, but you're not going to cheat on your gf just because you might feel attracted to someone with a different hair color, right?

Same basic concept. She may like both men and women, but she's WITH you. Just roll with it and don't worry about it.
Click to expand...

Holy shit I agree with Gaborn.
 
Just make sure to snuggle after sex and you should be ok.

Really though, just talk with her about it. Obviously discussing it will help you understand where she stands, what she and yourself consider cheating, and if being committed to only you is what she is looking for in your relationship. Be honest with her about how you feel about her sexuality, your concerns, and everything in between. That way she knows how you truly feel. Hopefully the talk will reveal whether or not the both of you can handle being in a relationship with each other, because being in a relationship when you are constantly worrying about the possibly of the other cheating on you because you aren't good enough (i.e. don't have a vagina and can't satisfy that "appetite") can make you completely miserable.
 
dark steve said:
what?

unless you're a fundie idiot who thinks that homosexuals and bisexuals are inherently more promiscuous (sic and a half), there is absolutely no reason this should be any different than a normal relationship. in fact, it's pretty damned stupid of you to immediately be thinking "oh hey, threesome - but what if she dumps me for her?"

fuck's sake.
Click to expand...
What kind of proud, hetero man would I be if the thought of threesome didn't enter my mind soon after being presented with this news?

Seriously though, I love the female body. Breasts, ass, VAGINA, legs, even a cute face. She does too. Now, assuming that she loves the female body as much as I do then I simply cannot compete with Breasts, ass, or VAGINA.
mrkgoo said:
So are you saying that not only do you have to watch out for your girlfriend when she is with other guys, but ALSO when she is with other women?
Click to expand...
Actually kid, no. I said I've never even felt the need to compete with another man over a girl.
i_am_ben said:
biphobia?
Click to expand...
wtf No. I can't ask a GOOD honest question?
 
Gaborn said:
Well, as a gay guy, I just don't see your problem. You like women, right? But you don't necessarily only like one type of woman, right? Like you might like blonds, or you might like brunettes, but you're not going to cheat on your gf just because you might feel attracted to someone with a different hair color, right?

Same basic concept. She may like both men and women, but she's WITH you. Just roll with it and don't worry about it.
Click to expand...

That's LOGICALLY how it should be. Unfortunately from MY experience, it's never been as simple as that.
 
DY_nasty said:
I don't like stressing over stuff like this. How do I know I'm not just a flavor of the month? A threesome would be awesome, but I'll be damned if I get kicked out in the middle of it.
Click to expand...
You can always just watch...
 
M3wThr33 said:
That's LOGICALLY how it should be. Unfortunately from MY experience, it's never been as simple as that.
Click to expand...

And you may be right. My point is you don't treat her differently BECAUSE she's bisexual, you treat her like anyone else and IF she cheats or shows a tendency to be unfaithful that's a separate issue.
 
DY_nasty said:
What kind of proud, hetero man would I be if the thought of threesome didn't enter my mind soon after being presented with this news?

Seriously though, I love the female body. Breasts, ass, VAGINA, legs, even a cute face. She does too. Now, assuming that she loves the female body as much as I do then I simply cannot compete with Breasts, ass, or VAGINA.
Click to expand...
I would abort this if I were you, not just because of the whole "can't satisfy her urges" thing, but also because it will always be at the back of your mind. I know that alone would drive many a man insane...
 
There is a major difference between a bi-sexual woman and a bi-curious woman. The bisexual has a wider field to leave you for. just because she's bisexual doesnt mean she's interested in mixing it up with a three way, but if you find a bi-curious chick your chances for a threesome are at a greater level compared to someone who has already decided because they don't know what they want.

OP just talk to her about it and let your feelings be known.

I just put that clarification there because most guys assume just because their woman is into chicks it's an automatic in....It is definitely not, at all.
 
Gaborn said:
Well, as a gay guy, I just don't see your problem. You like women, right? But you don't necessarily only like one type of woman, right? Like you might like blonds, or you might like brunettes, but you're not going to cheat on your gf just because you might feel attracted to someone with a different hair color, right?

Same basic concept. She may like both men and women, but she's WITH you. Just roll with it and don't worry about it.
Click to expand...
Well, I can understand his worries though - how do you judge if a woman's getting too close with her? How do you judge if they're just friends or perhaps actually flirting with one another?

It should be fine if the woman is thoroughly monogamous, otherwise, then yeah, dump her ass.
 
Most of you are wrong.

It's not that bisexual women are more likely to be sluts.
It's that sluts are more likely to be bisexual women.
 
Just go with the flow man. What's the worst that can happen, you get tired of it and break up? It is something you may never get to experience again. Personally, I am the type of guy who doesn't get into giving oral and once I bust a nut, I don't really want to be bothered for at least a few hours (yes, I'm a selfish fucker). So for me, having a female fill in during my down time would be ideal.
 
If you honestly feel that much like you are in a competition, all I can say is that I hope things end more gracefully than your posts so far woul indicate.
 
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