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NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #27 - FANFICTION! (Read OP for rules)

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ronito

Member
NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #27
Theme - Fanfiction


Word Limit: 2000

Submission Deadline: Wednesday, May 6th by 11:59 PM Pacific.

Voting begins Thursday, May 7th, and goes until Saturday, May 9th at 11:59 PM Pacific.


MANDATORY Secondary Objective: In Media Res Variation:
By it's nature fanfiction is largely In Media Res. However, you MUST write your story in a way that someone unfamiliar with the characters/universe can understand and enjoy

Submission Guidelines:
- One entry per poster.
- All submissions must be written during the time of the challenge.
- Using the topic as the title of your piece is discouraged.
- Keep to the word count!
- Piece can be a fanfiction to any type of work, videogame, book, story, porn, tv show, music, play, movie, painting, whatever.

Voting Guidelines:

- Three votes per voter. Please denote in your voting your 1st (3 pts), 2nd (2 pts), and 3rd (1 pt) place votes.
- Please read all submissions before voting.
- You must vote in order to be eligible to win the challenge.
- When voting ends, the winner gets a collective pat on the back, and starts the new challenge.

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge FAQs
 

ronito

Member
I figured we're a gaming site right? Let's let our inner fanboys/girls show through.

A few reminders:

-Piece must be new we don't want to see your jr. high take on FFVII. As stated in OP all pieces must be written during the time of the challenge

-Remember the mandatory secondary objective.

-Be creative it doesn't have be a fanfic from a videogame at all.
 

Scribble

Member
Fuck, Ronito! This was EXACTLY the challenge I was going to do! I've had the topic title in mind for weeks:

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge - Derivative Works [Fanfiction?]

:lol :lol :lol

Secondary objective was exactly the same. "Make sure the story is standalone"
 

Scribble

Member
It's also gonna be difficult because there's thousands of different shows, books, games, films, etc. out there.
 

ronito

Member
Scribble said:
Fuck, Ronito! This was EXACTLY the challenge I was going to do! I've had the topic title in mind for weeks:

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge - Derivative Works [Fanfiction?]

:lol :lol :lol

Secondary objective was exactly the same. "Make sure the story is standalone"
lol, I was going to do something else, but I felt that we've been real serious lately and settled on Fanfiction. Great minds and all that. No reason we can't do it twice.
 

Scribble

Member
This is one of the best pieces of (published) fanfiction I've read:

11h8hle.jpg


Pluto (プルートウ ,Purūtō?) is a manga series by Naoki Urasawa published in Shogakukan's Big Comic Original since 2003. It has been licensed for release in English by Viz Media, under the name Pluto: Urasawa x Tezuka.[1][2]

The series is based on Osamu Tezuka's Astro Boy, specifically "The Greatest Robot on Earth" (地上最大のロボット ,Chijou saidai no robotto?) story arc, and named after the arc's chief villain. Urasawa reinterprets the story as a suspenseful murder mystery starring Gesicht, a Europol robot detective trying to solve the case of a string of robot and human deaths.

And it's the kind of thing I'm aiming for. It's totally standalone, too.

Ping! I have an idea.
 

ReiGun

Member
This looks like fun. I haven't written anything in a long while, and I've never participated in a writing challenge before, but I think I'll try my hand in this one.
 

Cyan

Banned
Ok, here's my opening paragraph:

De La Cruz stood in a shadowed doorway, finger resting on the trigger of a stolen Glock. Rain poured from a coal sky, drenching the men and women in their peacock finery as they walked into Malugo's nightclub. He didn't quite know why he was here--he suspected it had something to do with the unraveling underpinnings of quantum reality, or the dissonant resonances of an uncaring God's messages into his brain, or perhaps lasers--but he did know one thing.

Malugo had to die.

Mike Works said:
uggh, i waited months for this? fucking hell.

oh well, see you guys at #28
:lol You are star-crossed, my man.
 
In the advent of my internet working again (sorta), I come to this? :lol

I don't like fan-fiction so I will pass.

Oh, and Cyan...DumbledoreXHarry, plz.
 

ronito

Member
Mike Works said:
uggh, i waited months for this? fucking hell.

oh well, see you guys at #28
sorry vato,
we've been too seriously as of late. Figured we needed to let our hair down a bit. I knew it'd be unpopular. See you at #28.
 

Scribble

Member
I think it's a good idea. On Fanfiction.net? No. On NeoGAF, where there's a whole bunch of competent writers who can do something clever/unique with this? Yes!
 

xaosslug

Member
how sad would it be if the first time I ventured into a NeoGAF CWC was with a slash fanfic? :lol Good call upping the wordcount. ;)
 

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
I fully expect at least one NeoGAF fanfic.
 
Looks like I missed the voting deadline on the last one, unfortunately, though there were a few that really stood out. I'll have to pay more attention and log in to GAF on the weekends more.

Fan fiction, huh? I have a few ideas in terms of how to attack this. Are we allowed to set our stories to music?
 
viciouskillersquirrel said:
Looks like I missed the voting deadline on the last one, unfortunately, though there were a few that really stood out. I'll have to pay more attention and log in to GAF on the weekends more.

Fan fiction, huh? I have a few ideas in terms of how to attack this. Are we allowed to set our stories to music?
As long as you can make it tie into the topic, then we will accept it.
 

Ward

Member
This is awesome. I don't think I've ever come up with an idea quicker than just now.

Results should be a lot of fun.
 

Aaron

Member
Cyan said:
Ok, here's my opening paragraph:

De La Cruz stood in a shadowed doorway, finger resting on the trigger of a stolen Glock. Rain poured from a coal sky, drenching the men and women in their peacock finery as they walked into Malugo's nightclub. He didn't quite know why he was here--he suspected it had something to do with the unraveling underpinnings of quantum reality, or the dissonant resonances of an uncaring God's messages into his brain, or perhaps lasers--but he did know one thing.

Malugo had to die.
Is it too early to vote? :D

I've already written way more fanfiction than I ever should have, so I'll probably pass on this challenge unless I come up with a particularly clever slant on it.
 
More people must join the fun.

By the way, does anyone else, when something terrible happens to them, think about how perhaps in a few years they can turn it into a story?
 

ronito

Member
It seems to be a curse that the person who starts the challenge can't think up anything. Certainly the case for me this time.
 

Xenon

Member
Wow, I think I'm in this one. If I am able to pull of my idea it should be interesting...

UPDATED VERSION

What are you looking at kid, Bruce Freeman thought and couldn’t help but chuckle. It wasn’t often that he saw kids from the lower core. Their reaction always amused him. Well it’s better than not being seen at all he supposed. He decided to finish his fun by raising his head to give his face full light. The five year old boy let out a whine and stepped back.
“Michael,” his mother said in a scolding voice “he’s just an..”
“No, don’t say that.” the young boy said cutting her off “Jera said that they don’t like it.”
The mother rolled her eyes and barked, “Let’s go!” She was dressed in what would appear to be workers grey-cloth coveralls. The even stitching and smooth texture gave away their expensive heritage. Bruce could sense the boys desire to turn and get one more glace as they walked away. It never happened.

They don’t like that. echoed in his head. Again, Bruce was amused. He had been calling nothing but that for a long time.

He went back to unloading the moss canisters from refrigerated rail cart. Messing with the boss’s son was usually beneath him. However, his excitement for the evening put him a playful mood. Freeman let out a full exhale as he placed the container in their refrigerated unit. He walked over to cart, pressed the release and stood a moment watching it descend to the lower railway until the floor doors slammed shut.

His six foot two frame was a gruesome sight. He had quite an athletic build for a man in his thirties, however any positive effect it would have was nullified by the fact that he was skinless with only a loose t-shirt, shredded pants and pair of work boots to hide it. A thin clear membrane covered his body and was almost impossible to see unless one got really close. Unfortunately what was underneath did not resemble something you see on a medical chart. The tendons, bone, muscles, and other tissue had a brownish gray tinge that resembled the color of meat when you first start to brown it. His face looked almost mummified and lack of lips locked his face in a permanent grimace. Still, it was easy to make out by the tightening of the muscles on his cheeks that he was smiling. His solid black eyes seemed larger than they were tucked into the shadow of their sockets.

Soon, he thought. Seven more hours and it will be his nineteenth year as a failed social experiment. His mind started to wander back, the smile faded. The images of his last day being normal rushed into his mind, the courtroom, his mother, the people and that, face! It snapped him out of his momentary daydream. Tonight, he thought.

He finished his work around eighteen hundred hours. It had been a hard day and his muscles not only seemed to be reliving it, but telling him about it all at once. Stretching in an attempt to relieve some of the tension, Freeman turned and looked over to the door leading out of the food processing room. The lights were out which meant that he was alone.

Walking over to a small locker next to the rest room, Bruce took the key fob out of his pocket and with a quick swipe in the air next to it, the locker was open. He exchanged his operator keys for a small case and two quick shot syringes. They had installed a blood sugar regulator years ago, yet he still carried them. It was mostly out of habit since his first ten years was spent getting the required injection every four hours. Plus, there was no way he was going to let his life hang on something they installed as a trial to see if it was fit for a “real” person. He tossed in the fob and closed the door.

With surprising agility Bruce climbed up on one of the large turbine processors and scaled the pipes to a conduit box. Reaching in his pocket he took out a small hex driver and unscrewed the front panel. Behind the mess of wires was a metallic bag that just fit in the square twenty five centimeter casing. The cover was back on and he was down even quicker than he went up. He pocketed the bag and headed out the rear exit with only a slight pause to look back at the place he had worked the last six years.

He walked through the alleys which were more like large dimly lit corridors. They used to be busy with shipments coming in and out, but since the under-rail they were almost unused. It was a fifty minute walk home leaving plenty of time to get lost in thought.

Bruce remembered when he first heard of the “cleansing punishment.” He was ten when his father let him watch his first trial. The man had killed someone in a fit of rage. The arguments and pleas that were made were well above his young mind, but the fear on the man’s face was impossible not to read. He had a long talk with his father that whole night about the process of why and how it came to be.

It was years after people were forced to go underground, the few that survived that is. Human life became more sacred and cherished that it had ever been. The mere act of ones survival and that of the species became almost a religion in itself, which his father, as most of the survivors, was completely in servitude to. Everything was weighed against the whole and its possible effect on human existence. Added to this was the belief that every life was sacred and nothing could validate the taking of a life. Of course these philosophies create many instances of conflict with each other. One major problem being, what could they do with those individuals who went against those very values?

Locking people up, when everyone was stuck in small cramped quarters didn’t make much sense. There was too much work to be done and too few people to do it. At first they tried chain gangs and prison work shops. The lack of any real punishment for those who cared little for human life, resulted in many guard deaths. It took five years for them to come up with a solution. To understand how this came about, one would need to know that many of the people saved were the brightness minds of their time in fields such as math, science, genetics, chemistry and every sub category one could think of.

They took ideas from positive and negative studies to come up with a way to strip the humanity from a person, giving them a way to punish those who defy the moral code while still staying true to their ideology. The side benefit was a subclass of slaves who would find it impossible to reintegrate into society. Also if the “Converted”, what they tried to label them, ever got out of line there would be no moral dilemma with putting them to death.


So a failed genetic treatment for skin cancer became the thin clear layer that was now his skin. A failed diet treatment prevented his body from creating fat. Plus many other things that distanced them from other humans. It was surprising how close the first case, Edward Vazquez, was to the last one Bruce Freeman. The only major difference was they did not pigment the eyes at first. But too many complaints that it was distracting to people had it quickly remedied.
Bruce remembered telling his father how wrong it was. His dad rebuked the notion quickly and forcefully. He never gave his son much latitude in thought or action. He like his father was the last of seven kids and was told quite often that he will never be babied. While it did keep him in check around his dad, it built up resentment for the man and his ideals.

Bruce picked this moment to finally make a stand and continued to insist that it was wrong. His father buried him in arguments of philosophy, logic and religion. But Bruce held fast since they were meaningless to a person arguing from raw emotion. He was not just arguing against this issue but everything his father had tried to force him to believe. The argument ended as the dad realized that their hate for each other was the true catalyst for the altercation.

From that moment on they kept their distance. Bruce continued to escalate his disapproval for everything around him. It went from verbal to vandalizing and finally to out right terrorism. His fathers pull in the community saved him from punishment many times. But nothing could be done when he destroyed a portion of a conversion facility. He was labeled an anarchist and sent to the very one he tried to destroy for processing.

At that point they number in the hundreds, but their life expectancy was short. Many went mad and were put to death. Others tried to escape and were put to death. They began using them for medical studies and test treatments.

It wasn’t long after his conversion that society agreed with Bruce’s stance. This change wasn’t due to some major epiphany, it was a sign of the improvement of the quality of life. Life was getting easier and they were actually starting to have people explore the surface.

They put and injunction on the whole process. Five years after the final conversion, it was deemed inhumane and illegal. It had been a bitter fight, though once it was settled the government moved quickly to deal with the remaining hundred or so conversions. Those who convicted of murder were put to death quietly. Others chose euthanasia to end their misery. A select few were given a chance to continue working and living their lives out in servitude hidden from society. They were still closely monitored and all the safeguards remained in place.

As the years past the numbers dwindled, until finally four years ago, when Bruce became the last of his kind. He stopped having to go to security checks for his internal sensors. He no longer saw maintenance people performing checks on the sensors. No one cared. He was a single ember leftover from a dowsed fire.


Bruce came to his basement residence with its entrance in hidden from public in the alley. He opened the door to the un decorated one room living space, set his alarm and collapsed on the bed. He woke up at two minutes to zero hundred hours.

He climbed out of bed, sucked down a protein-vita shake, and hit the head. Methodically, Freeman put on an orange work suit that was hanging in the closet, grabbed a small backpack that was sitting on his table, went over the a maintenance schedule that was next to the pack. Then he removed the metallic bag from his work pants, opened it and removed a pistol containing ten bullets. He only needed one. Finally he put on a full face mask with air filter that had a matching orange hood to cover the rest of his head and then left his quarters.

Thankfully some sympathizers provided him with the fumigation schedule, this outfit and a few other things to help him escape. They even helped him find a “friend.” The thought made him smile.

Bruce used service tunnels to work his way to the building targeted for fumigation. Of course his real goal was the building next door.

Sixty two year old Marvin Ansel was sitting down to go over some of the paperwork he failed to complete at work earlier that day when he heard the knock. He went to the door and saw the fumigator standing outside. “Can I help you, I thought you guys were next door today” he asked as he open the Door.

“There is a leak and we are warning tenants of this building” the man answered.

“A leak, how is that pos..” Marvin started to reply before the butt of a gun slammed against his nose, sending him falling to the floor on his back.

The man walked in, closed the door and removed his mask to Marvin’s horror.

“Who are you? Why are you here?” He asked propping himself up with his hands.

The creature smiled and said “ I’m Bruce Freeman, you were at my trial”

“Who?” the man spit out in fear.

“Bruce Freeman, maybe this will help your fingers remember” the assailant growled as he stopped on man’s right hand. Marvin screamed and curled into a protective ball around it.

After a short moment he turned his head back to his attacker and said in a confused voice, “That was twenty years ago and I was just a court stenographer.”

“Nineteen actually, but your smiling face as they read the sentence was all I have seen in my head for the last 19 years,” Bruce ruturned and waited for a reply. Marvin just stared back at him too confused to say anything. Freeman began to raise the gun.

Seeing the gun move pulled Marvin out of his daze. “You’re killing me for smiling?” Marvin asked and followed with “A simple smile.”

“Yes” Bruce said taking aim at the old mans head. “I have been living with that smile for what has passed as a life since the day of my trial.” He added.

“But it was just a smile” Marvin responded angrily, forgetting his current situation.

“To you!” Freeman said forcefully.

“Bruce, you weren’t a murderer. You can’t end my life for just some trivial reason like this,” the broken man begged.

This caused Bruce to laugh “Why not? Life has been perpetuated on this planet by something as simple as its feel goods to stick your dick in something. Why should death need more of a reason?” He then took a step back and tapped the gun on his head as if it was loosening some of his thoughts. “Ok if you need one, here is a reason, thanks to you I stand now free, gun in hand, and prey at my feet.” he expounded in an animated fashion.

Bruce locked his gaze on Marvins eyes, smiled, and said. “Oh , and just call me Eddie like everyone else,”

He returned his aim.
 

Ward

Member
crowphoenix said:
By the way, does anyone else, when something terrible happens to them, think about how perhaps in a few years they can turn it into a story?

I usually use my life as the basis for many of my stories. Though my life has produced little to no stand-alones.


I've done quite a bit more research than anticipated to keep my story true to the source material. I had to google a few plot element to try and bend them to fit my story and maps to check routes and locations.

that's right. i'm doing a king of queens fanfiction. and his truck route will be accurate!
 
That's awesome, Ward. My first fiction prof said two of the best tools to a write were a road map and a book on indigenous plants to the area.
 
Cyan said:
Ok, here's my opening paragraph:

De La Cruz stood in a shadowed doorway, finger resting on the trigger of a stolen Glock. Rain poured from a coal sky, drenching the men and women in their peacock finery as they walked into Malugo's nightclub. He didn't quite know why he was here--he suspected it had something to do with the unraveling underpinnings of quantum reality, or the dissonant resonances of an uncaring God's messages into his brain, or perhaps lasers--but he did know one thing.

Malugo had to die.


:lol You are star-crossed, my man.
I have this crazy idea that everyone should do fanfics about previous contestant's entries. Gives us all topics and many, many possibilities to run with it.

Good idea? Bad?
 
Given all the "Charizard" comments from the last thread (I once met a smoking hot Iranian girl named Sharzhad and it sounded vaguely like the name of the pokemon), I'm thinking I'll do a Pokemon fan fiction - The Death of Pikachu.
 
I still haven't figured out a topic yet, but I have an inkling to write "Tales of Tavernaria," an epic fantasy adventure of cliches and taverns and characters that will make you go "Bwa?".
 

Cyan

Banned
crowphoenix said:
By the way, does anyone else, when something terrible happens to them, think about how perhaps in a few years they can turn it into a story?
Heh. How about the same day? So I wrote this story a few weeks back where in the opening, the guy gets a nasty note left on his car because he was parked right on the white line... yeah, I wrote it because I was still pissed about getting that note earlier in the day. :lol

That's not exactly "something terrible," but whatever. Also... the other elements of that story are completely fictional, I swear.
 

Cyan

Banned
dragonlife29 said:
Oh, and Cyan...DumbledoreXHarry, plz.
Hmm... well, Rowling did reveal that Dumbledore is gay.

viciouskillersquirrel said:
(I once met a smoking hot Iranian girl named Sharzhad and it sounded vaguely like the name of the pokemon)
I thought that probably came from real life. :)

ZephyrFate said:
I have this crazy idea that everyone should do fanfics about previous contestant's entries. Gives us all topics and many, many possibilities to run with it.

Good idea? Bad?
That could be hilariously fun. And I'm really tempted to actually write the De La Cruz/Malugo fanfic. But... I think I'm doing something else instead. Feel free to do a previous entry fanfic yourself--I'd love to read it.
 
Cyan said:
That's not exactly "something terrible," but whatever. Also... the other elements of that story are completely fictional, I swear.
Well, now I believe it all happened. Good on you. :D

ZephyrFate said:
I have this crazy idea that everyone should do fanfics about previous contestant's entries. Gives us all topics and many, many possibilities to run with it.

Good idea? Bad?
That would be fun. Maybe an homage challenge where we take someone else's characters and try to write in their style.
 

ronito

Member
crowphoenix said:
I still haven't figured out a topic yet, but I have an inkling to write "Tales of Tavernaria," an epic fantasy adventure of cliches and taverns and characters that will make you go "Bwa?".
LOL.

It could be something like De La Cruz, Malugo, Red Man and Green Man, Josie and Patrick all go Tavern hopping.
 

Scribble

Member
ZephyrFate said:
I have this crazy idea that everyone should do fanfics about previous contestant's entries. Gives us all topics and many, many possibilities to run with it.

Good idea? Bad?

That sounds like a great idea. I think we should save it for NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge # - Homage though. I'd know what I'd do :D

For this challenge, I may end up posting two entries. One half of me wants to do a Pluto type thing, the other half wants to do...something else. So we shall see.
 

KevinCow

Banned
I was surprised nobody did some disturbing fanfiction for the "In A Flash" topic, especially considering the large Gayming Age population.
 
Cyan said:
What, like a Roman pantheon fanfic?
Jupiter and Pluto are totally hot for random chick #2345215452. Let the epic battle (#234245) to end all epic battles (#34563) begin!

Edit: and now it's going into a Herc's Adventure: Roman Eddition with Scribble as Gary Stu Jason, Ronito as Mary Sue Herc, and Malugo as Althena, who's pretty pissed off, but doesn't mind having to wear the dress.
 

Timedog

good credit (by proxy)
Cyan said:
Ok, here's my opening paragraph:

De La Cruz stood in a shadowed doorway, finger resting on the trigger of a stolen Glock. Rain poured from a coal sky, drenching the men and women in their peacock finery as they walked into Malugo's nightclub. He didn't quite know why he was here--he suspected it had something to do with the unraveling underpinnings of quantum reality, or the dissonant resonances of an uncaring God's messages into his brain, or perhaps lasers--but he did know one thing.

Malugo had to die.


:lol You are star-crossed, my man.

Whoa cool. Butt....Malugo lives forever.

The first thing I thought of when I saw the topic was a fanfic of a fast food restaurant menu.
 

Sibylus

Banned
Got an idea, I'll be submitting this round!

And my Gil Provost character will be making a return at some point, I think there's a lot of interesting stories I could explore with him.
 
The due date is fast approaching? How's everyone doing? I've got no idea for mine, so I'm probably going to wing it tonight.
 
crowphoenix said:
The due date is fast approaching? How's everyone doing? I've got no idea for mine, so I'm probably going to wing it tonight.

I'm in the same boat as you. I had an idea.. But it really isn't panning out.
 

ronito

Member
crowphoenix said:
The due date is fast approaching? How's everyone doing? I've got no idea for mine, so I'm probably going to wing it tonight.
I was just going to post here that at this point it's worth it to enter because you just might win by default.

I still haven't gotten a good enough idea.
 
ronito said:
I was just going to post here that at this point it's worth it to enter because you just might win by default.

I still haven't gotten a good enough idea.

I keep fluxuating between writing a humor piece on the Tales of series or something out of Discworld. The problem is, I commit the mistakes I'd be mocking in the former, and I'm not clever enough to play with Pratchett's stuff.

Still, it'll be fun.
 
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