Hagiography
Word Count: 1465
Act IV: A Discourse between a Man and the Devil
SCENE I Things are Topsy-Turvy
<The stage is dark, absolutely nothing visible. It remains so for a few moments, to instill the audience with some palpable atmosphere. After a time, two spotlights appear from above, illuminating two figures. A MAN named GARRETT lies prone upon a couch, the couch turned to face the audience. The DEVIL sits near him, in a comfy chair, while writing notes on a clipboard. The MAN is dressed very plainly, in a grey suit that suggests he is a businessman. The DEVIL is dressed in a surfer's outfit; blank white shirt and tiedye shorts with flip-flops. There is light new age music playing in the background.>
GARRETT: I've been having nightmares. Deep nightmares that wake me up, but even when my eyes open I'm still in them, ripples fading across the room as if I'd just been submerged, as if I'd just gotten outta water.
DEVIL: I see, well, it appears you are suffering from what I call the 'Saint's Syndrome'. All good people are afflicted with it. It starts with mild dysphoria; day-to-day life becomes a chore, where you feel as if you are constrained by the altruism in your heart. This dysphoria begins to fester, attempting to bridge the surface of your mind. Ultimately, it can begin to gnaw at your psyche, tearing you away from the reality you know. The nightmares you are experiencing are Stage II; if you were to let yourself continue to be a good person, Stage III would kick in and you will go insane.
GARRETT: But, doctor, being a good person is all I've ever known. I grew up going to church and listening to my pastors and preaching the word of G--
<The DEVIL intervenes.>
DEVIL: Do not speak that name! He is the reason you are here, talking to me, instead of him, about your psychological weakness! Do you want my help or not?
<Anger flares in the DEVIL's voice, leaving him seething afterward, glaring at the prone man on the couch as if willing him to be set aflame.>
GARRETT: I apologize, doctor. You see, I don't know how else to be good to another person if all I've ever known is through God. Do you have an answer?
< The MAN sits up, glancing at the DEVIL for pacification.>
DEVIL: It depends on what you want to hear. Your question all rests upon what you decide is worth doing in your human life, what it even means to be human. My answer will be that you are tired of giving, always giving. You never take, you never plunder. History has shown us that man will always need more. He craves whatever he can see in front of him, be it wealth or lust or property, or, even, another person. Or thousands of individuals. You live like a saint without the realization that you are only human, that you have limitations, that taking is just as necessary as giving.
GARRETT: Which do you prefer more, doctor?
<The DEVIL laughs, putting down his clipboard upon the floor.>
DEVIL: Taking, of course.
<The lights disappear for a moment, as the stage shifts. A blazing fire can be heard in the background, but is purposefully kept muted so as to leave the audience questioning. A loud cackle roars across the stage, echoing off the walls. The stage is now fully lit, but fire now rages in the background, and the light that now creates visibility has become blood red.>
GARRETT: Where am I?!
DEVIL: Obviously, you are in Hell.
GARRETT: But I... I have lived my life according to the Bible! I would never come here! You... you're no doctor!
DEVIL: It took you so long to realize it?
<The DEVIL turns to look at the audience, his eyes now glowing red.>
DEVIL: I have taken many forms, but none so... restrictive, as a petty psychologist. Was the outfit not enough of a tip-off, idiot?
GARRETT: I... I figured it was some sort of work-related thing! We do that all the time at the firm...
DEVIL: Idiot. Well, regardless, you're here. The last place you'd expect to be. But that is what life can provide fortune is fickle. It may favor the bold but in this case, it turned its back on you. Fortune, you see, works not with a two-sided coin but with an infinitely-sided die. Numerous paths and destinations are afforded to every human and he or she never has control. You may say God lead you through life before... but why would he lead you here, if you were so pious? Perhaps a kink in the machine, some sort of humorous cosmic irony? Now, tell me, what do you think being human really means?
GARRETT: Taking... taking. Always taking.
<The DEVIL smirks. The fire rages, and the music which was before new-age becomes death metal.>
DEVIL: Good. You have begun to think for your own. There are no hands guiding you towards your destination anymore. It is all on you.
GARRETT: You didn't let me finish. It's a balance... you stated yourself. We have to do both, 'cuz that's what humans do. We take and take and take, but we can also give. This... dual sense of purpose, that's what makes us who we are.
<The DEVIL grins even more.>
DEVIL: Even better.
<The MAN becomes perplexed.>
GARRETT: What... ? But... didn't you want me to just take? I don't get it.
DEVIL: You have lived too long with your nose in a book whose values are antiquated and dried up. You have listened to two-thousand-year-old men preach to you how to live your life, instead of looking at everything around you and realizing that, maybe, it just doesn't work that way. Yes, I may be the Devil, but I am also a man of reason. I have never been pure evil, no... just freedom of thought. The catalyst that allows you to see the world for what it really is, instead of the sugarcoated path to heaven, whose path is lined with white flowers, whose companions are the sacred angels. No. None of that is true and it's all a fabrication.
GARRETT: But... what do I live by? How do I live? I don't have anything to go off of... I'll lose everything.
DEVIL: My dear Garrett, there is a such thing as believing in human potential. You will always make mistakes, and will continue to do so. But one thing you can believe in is hope. Vain, futile hope, but so long as it keeps you greedy and deranged... it is hope nonetheless.
GARRETT: I've been taught that you live off of how evil we are...
DEVIL: False.
GARRETT: But the Scriptures!
DEVIL: Broken promises.
GARRETT: The Ten Commandments!
DEVIL: Words that steal your soul. Words that put you in a box with no air.
GARRETT: Jesus...
DEVIL: The only man amongst you who could see something worth saving. The rest of you come to me.
GARRETT: God.
DEVIL: An invention.
<The lights disappear, the fire ceases, the death metal fades out and the stage is dark once more.>
SCENE II Divine Recompense
<Once again two spotlights come from above, highlighting both the MAN and the DEVIL, but this time a soft classical piece plays in the background.>
GARRETT: You've... changed my mind, doctor. I didn't really expect that coming in here. I've never believed in any of this before.
DEVIL: This is what comes from realizing the truth.
<The spotlight disappears from the DEVIL and focuses on the MAN instead. The MAN gets up from the couch to stand up and face the audience.>
GARRETT: Perhaps being human means you mess up, and you learn from it. It doesn't come from a book or going to a church. I guess it comes from experiencing the full spectrum by being sinful, by doing things that go against the grain of society, and maybe changing what I think to broaden my horizons.
<The spotlight disappears from the MAN and comes back to the DEVIL.>
DEVIL: You humans are so fragile and prone to failure. You latch on to whatever guideline or post-it note that tells you how to live your life despite the fact that being alive means making your own decisions at one point or another. How you revel in limiting the world you see. How you so enjoy putting your hands over your ears, over your eyes, over your mouth, so that no evil could ever get in. The real joy of being human is letting that in... oh, freedom is too good for you fools.
<The curtains come down, just as the DEVIL ends the scene with a prolonged laugh.>
