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Becoming independent of your household

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Atramental

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This summer, if my final appeal to my parents to transfer me to a normal university fails, I am going to depart ways with them and start living on my own.

I’m basing my plan for independence all on the assumption that I’ll have some sort of summer job when I do this and that I will have enough money to rent a cheap apartment. Or heck, SC is warm enough during the summer that I could probably find a nice bridge to sleep under.

If anyone here on GAF has ever left your home to start living on your own (without a college degree or without support from your parents/guardians) I could definitely use your input. Tell me all that you went through and what your life is like today.
 
Is this what all your posts have been leading up to? I want to see where the story goes after this.
 
Really dude, just get a job that pays 10 bucks an hour and get a studio. Work for a grocery store or whattever :O it's completely doable for anybody, you'll just have to lower your standards of living.

I was living abroad by myself (in the USA) at age 19 without any help from others :o my grandfather in California co-signed my lease but I was living in Connecticut, so I didn't really have anybody to rely on.

Independence is something that you are sort of thrown at, it's not something that you gradually acquire (well, I guess some people do).

The only advise I can give is to never return to your parents', you'll face some rough times but it's all part of the process.
 
Sohter.Nura said:
Really dude, just get a job that pays 10 bucks an hour and get a studio. Work for a grocery store or whattever :O it's completely doable for anybody, you'll just have to lower your standards of living.

I was living abroad by myself (in the USA) at age 19 without any help from others :o my grandfather in California co-signed my lease but I was living in Connecticut, so I didn't really have anybody to rely on.

Independence is something that you are sort of thrown at, it's not something that you gradually acquire (well, I guess some people do).

The only advise I can give is to never return to your parents', you'll face some rough times but it's all part of the process.
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This. It's basically what I do (I work for about $11 an hour at a small computer shop) and I live like a king in my little efficiency.
Got a new car, new PC, a nice LCD TV and all the steak I want.
 
Start applying to public, in-state, universities. If you get accepted by one, apply for financial aid. That will be enough to get you on your feet when the semester starts, and you should be able to find a simple part-time job to supplement your income.

You need to start on your applications now because it will be too late if you wait till the summer.
 
I hope the best for you man, independence is hard work so you going to need a thick skin and stubborn will to make it work.

I have seen people my age try it only to chicken out and run back home to mommy when they could not make the tough decisions like living without cable/internet, or other little comforts they were used too.
 
Assuming any of these threads are real, you can get a free degree just staying where you are. Wait until you're done with college, then move out.
 
Trent Strong said:
Assuming any of these threads are real, you can get a free degree just staying where you are. Wait until you're done with college, then move out.
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Reading his past threads a degree from that college wont mean much.
 
moved away from home back in Aug for the first time ever, lost my job last week, now returning home but only in a store my shit capacity. I'm taking my fat severance and getting out of town for a few months.
 
Finding a decent roommate really helps keep the bills down because you can split rent and utilities. This makes your paycheck go farther (assuming the roommate pays their share).
 
Atramental said:
This summer, if my final appeal to my parents to transfer me to a normal university fails, I am going to depart ways with them and start living on my own.

I’m basing my plan for independence all on the assumption that I’ll have some sort of summer job when I do this and that I will have enough money to rent a cheap apartment. Or heck, SC is warm enough during the summer that I could probably find a nice bridge to sleep under.

If anyone here on GAF has ever left your home to start living on your own (without a college degree or without support from your parents/guardians) I could definitely use your input. Tell me all that you went through and what your life is like today.
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Dude . . . I sympathize with your situation. But be careful with this. You only have one set of parents. And no matter what silly rules they set up, they can never control your mind. So carefully weigh out the pros & cons of picking a fight. It is a really shitty economy right now. Putting up with some bullshit for a while may be a penalty worth taking. Or not.

I don't know what the right decision is . . . I'm just saying think it over carefully. In time, it seems you will depart from the way your parents live. But whether to do it sharply or let it differences grow slowly over time is a tough call.
 
bucknuticus said:
Reading his past threads a degree from that college wont mean much.
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That's what I thought too, but he claimed in one of the other threads that all he needs is a good portfolio and that it won't matter much that he got his degree from BJU.


Machine said:
Finding a decent roommate really helps keep the bills down because you can split rent and utilities. This makes your paycheck go farther (assuming the roommate pays their share).
Click to expand...

But what if your roommate becomes obsessed with you and starts stalking you and wearing the same clothes and hairstyle as you and gets upset when you try to make new friends and then tries to kill you?
 
Trent Strong said:
But what if your roommate becomes obsessed with you and starts stalking you and wearing the same clothes and hairstyle as you and gets upset when you try to make new friends and then tries to kill you?
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And what if the roommate becomes a lifelong friend who later saves your life by giving their kidney to you? There are a lot of possibilities here.
 
speculawyer said:
Dude . . . I sympathize with your situation. But be careful with this. You only have one set of parents. And no matter what silly rules they set up, they can never control your mind. So carefully weigh out the pros & cons of picking a fight. It is a really shitty economy right now. Putting up with some bullshit for a while may be a penalty worth taking. Or not.
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Not sure if you've read his other posts...but he's getting a totally unmarketable degree right now from sketchy school because his parent's are making him.
 
Trent Strong said:
But what if your roommate becomes obsessed with you and starts stalking you and wearing the same clothes and hairstyle as you and gets upset when you try to make new friends and then tries to kill you?
Click to expand...

And what if the roommate becomes a lifelong friend who later saves your life by giving their kidney to you? There are a lot of possibilities here.
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I would watch both movies!
 
Zoe said:
Start applying to public, in-state, universities. If you get accepted by one, apply for financial aid. That will be enough to get you on your feet when the semester starts, and you should be able to find a simple part-time job to supplement your income.

You need to start on your applications now because it will be too late if you wait till the summer.
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also if he gets financial aid he can apply for a work study job at the school won't be more than 19 or 20 hours tho.
 
You might also consider a change of major if you want to get completely clear of parental help. It's a tough market for designers, you'll need to toughen up/get more aggressive if you're going to make that work.
 
Sorry for my prolonged absence. I had to get some work done but I’m back.

TacticalFox88 said:
Military. Pay for your schooling, Health Care, Serve your country, and get a decent paycheck.
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Eh... National Guard would be the only branch of the military that I would ever consider joining. If I get really desperate I'll consider this suggestion as an option.

nomster said:
You might also consider a change of major if you want to get completely clear of parental help. It's a tough market for designers, you'll need to toughen up/get more aggressive if you're going to make that work.
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What would you recommend? Some sort of business degree?

Machine said:
Finding a decent roommate really helps keep the bills down because you can split rent and utilities. This makes your paycheck go farther (assuming the roommate pays their share).
Click to expand...
Only problem with that is that I don't have any friends in Greenville. I have a few acquaintances but they would never let me live with them.


lightless_shado said:
Hey OP, why don't we move out and live together? would be fun times.
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Do you live in Greenville, SC?
If yes, send me a PM. If no, then oh well.
 
Atramental said:
Only problem with that is that I don't have any friends in Greenville. I have a few acquaintances but they would never let me live with them.
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Umm, why would they never allow you to live with them? You do know that people who are just casual acquaintances move in together all the time and sometimes even leads to lasting friendships.
 
xxracerxx said:
Umm, why would they never allow you to live with them? You do know that people who are just casual acquaintances move in together all the time and sometimes even leads to lasting friendships.
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Even complete strangers end up living together, especially close to large universities.
 
Zoe said:
Even complete strangers end up living together, especially close to large universities.
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Well of course, but the way he worded that sentence just made me respond the way I did.
 
TacticalFox88 said:
Military. Pay for your schooling, Health Care, Serve your country, and get a decent paycheck.
Click to expand...

I agree with this. OP you sound like a complete loser, the military might man your ass up.
 
xxracerxx said:
Umm, why would they never allow you to live with them? You do know that people who are just casual acquaintances move in together all the time and sometimes even leads to lasting friendships.
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If you're a fairly attractive female Christian who lives with her mom would you let a scary looking bald atheist spend the night with you? I don't think so.

And the other acquaintance is the son of the administrator at my Christian high school.
The admin. knows my dad really well so he would probably have a nice talk with me, tell me that I'm just like the Prodigal son or something, and would have me sent back home.

jim-jam bongs said:
How can someone make it to university age and yet remain completely incapable of taking care of themselves? The mind, it doth boggle.
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I commute to school from my house. If I actually lived at my university I wouldn't be able to post. The campus internet has NeoGAF blocked. :P
 
Atramental said:
What would you recommend? Some sort of business degree?
Click to expand...

I don't want to tell you not to follow design if that's what you really love, I'm just suggesting that the personality you've displayed in these threads might not mesh well with it in a market like this. Consider double majoring maybe? Business isn't a terrible all around degree to have, pretty sure there is still a decent market out there for accountants and you won't have to be an outgoing A type for that.

edit: Bald and scary looking too? Damn
 
nomster said:
I don't want to tell you not to follow design if that's what you really love, I'm just suggesting that the personality you've displayed in these threads might not mesh well with it in a market like this. Consider double majoring maybe? Business isn't a terrible all around degree to have, pretty sure there is still a decent market out there for accountants and you won't have to be an outgoing A type for that.
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I'm also minoring in photography as well but from what I can tell it's not that great of a money maker either.

Edit: Well it could be but I would have to buy some pretty expensive equipment.

I dunno... I always hear my dad going on about how Greenville is such a big mecca for designers. And it is to some extent.

edit: Bald and scary looking too? Damn
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I kinda look like the lead singer of the metal band Meshuggah to give you an idea.

Edit: yet despite looking scary, I'm a complete wuss.
 
Atramental said:
I’m basing my plan for independence all on the assumption that I’ll have some sort of summer job when I do this and that I will have enough money to rent a cheap apartment. Or heck, SC is warm enough during the summer that I could probably find a nice bridge to sleep under.
Click to expand...

Seriously?

Get a job now and start saving NOW. This way when the time comes you'll have a healthy little escape fund, especially if you're living with mommy and daddy and GOD, you can save up your money and take your angry atheist kid act on the road.

Part of me wonders if all this isn't just you being a passive aggressive troll toward your parents. :|
 
The Take Out Bandit said:
Seriously?
Get a job now and start saving NOW. This way when the time comes you'll have a healthy little escape fund, especially if you're living with mommy and daddy and GOD, you can save up your money and take your angry atheist kid act on the road.
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Okay, I’ll get right on that.

Part of me wonders if all this isn't just you being a passive aggressive troll toward your parents. :|
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No, it's just me talking to the only people that I can talk to about these things... I'm an island in a vast sea of misunderstanding and ignorance.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
You never answered my question from the other thread: Did you apply to any other universities other than your current one?
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I was never able to.

What my parents pretty much said to me was this: "You need to go here because it's the only thing that we can afford and there's no telling what the economy will do while you're in school. Also, you'll get a degree that is worth something. Employers always hire BJU people because of their hard work ethic and discipline. Plus, you'll get to live at home and not have to deal with their strict rules 24/7."

This was back in 2008, btw.

Also, I didn't lose my faith in Christianity until December of 2009. Basically, after my first semester at BJU I realized that Christianity was a big lie and it didn't conform to reality at all.

And then back in 2010 I had to come out to my parents that I was an atheist but that didn't do anything. They still want me to stay at BJU.
 
Save up enough money to go to whitewater guide school in May. Problem solved, bro. Once the whitewater season is over, trim bud until the snow season starts and get yourself a mountain job. College is overrated like a motherfucker.
 
Suck it up and get the degree. That way, when you do flee come next May (I'm assuming at least), you'll at least be able to apply to your nearest Department Store for a Management position instead of a lowly checker.
 
Employers hire people at BJU for there hard work and effort? HAHAHAHAHA
Yeah, exact opposite. They see that you graduated from there I guarantee they'll throw your app in the trash regardless of the qualifications.
 
Zoe said:
Start applying to public, in-state, universities. If you get accepted by one, apply for financial aid. That will be enough to get you on your feet when the semester starts, and you should be able to find a simple part-time job to supplement your income.

You need to start on your applications now because it will be too late if you wait till the summer.
Click to expand...
You can't get financial aid without info from your parents. If they're not supportive of him, they won't give him all their tax info etc. Unless he's old enough (23 or 24 I forget)
 
Vox-Pop said:
i would trade anything for a free education and a home. op is a spoiled brat. some people have it worse.
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Heh. I saw that.

Sure I'm a brat. A brat that doesn't want a degree that could scare off potential employers.

For example, when we had some BJU alumni graphic designers come in and talk with us about what being in the field is like, one dude said that there was one instance in which he refused to design the alcoholic beverage menu for a big restaurant chain and the restaurant ended up firing him…

I was thinking in the back of my mind, “Great… well I guess I can cross Applebees off as a potential client... ”
 
Atramental said:
Heh. I saw that.

Sure I'm a brat. A brat that doesn't want a degree that could scare off potential employers.

For example, when we had some BJU alumni graphic designers come in and talk with us about what being in the field is like, one dude said that there was one instance in which he refused to design the alcoholic beverage menu for a big restaurant chain and the restaurant ended up firing him…

I was thinking in the back of my mind, “Great… well I guess I can cross Applebees off as a potential client... ”
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:/ sorry dude.

come to the west coast, in LA no one knows what BJU is church school.
 
Do you seriously have to make all these threads?

Worst part is, after all the livejournal posts, it doesn't sound like your life has changed at all.
 
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