Terry Goodkind.
This man, nay this spirit of truth, was born in Nebraska in 1948. He has a dislikable face, a pony-tail, some macho pretensions, no talent whatsoever, and a fucked-up imagination. And perhaps (fuck perhaps - its clear) a sizzling hatred of women.
[If anybody substantively disagrees with the above, or cares for Terry Goodkind sufficiently to be offended on his behalf, please PM me and I will consider modifications.]
He may also be quite ill, due to the strains of creating timeless art. He epitomises manly health in this first pic:
But doesnt look so flash in this more recent one:
He is a fantasy writer. He denies it, because he thinks his integration of philosophical themes (and TRUTHS) sets him apart from the infantile ranks of folks who write about dragons and elves. The philosophy he espouses - ordinarily in really goddamn long, really tedious, and commonly psychotic speeches - is Objectivism, Ayn Rands acid streak of sputum. Terry thinks Rand is the greatest thinker ever. Go home Aristotle, give up Locke.
Quick and dirty synopsis of the first book, Wizards First Rule.
Fan art of Richard Rahl:
Succeeding books involve:
Gratch, Richards wookie companion, whose vocabulary is pretty much limited to Gratch luuuurrg Raatch arrrgh.
Rape pits.
Jaw-shattering kicks.
Evil chickens.
A border-fence of bells that liquefy people.
Sorcerous control achieved by slicing off nipples.
Nudity as a tactic of war.
Digital rape as a way to free someone from chakra imbalance.
Prostitute murder described with patent glee.
Repeated endorsement for genocide.
Mind-dissolving explanations of the series magic system.
Hilarious physical improbabilities: fighting without a spinal cord.
The calculated degradation of any female character.
Strokes of evil genius: banning fire, making red fruit poisonous.
Apartheid against black-haired people.
More rape.
Consensual (if slightly coerced) missionary-position sex between an aspirant Dark Sorceress and a big leathery demon called a Namble, which has a nastily barbed phallus. The Sorceress, as with a few other female characters thrust into unpleasant sexual situations in Goodkind's books, starts to enjoy it after a while.
If people can remember other high points, I can add them to the OP.
Sandstorm Reviews, and the Literature forum at Westeros, have put years into some of the most penetrating Goodkind exegesis.
http://sandstormreviews.blogspot.com/2006/08/goodkind-parodies.html
And those books, collectively The Sword of Truth series, are:
▪ Wizard's First Rule (1994)
▪ Stone of Tears (1995)
▪ Blood of the Fold (1996)
▪ Temple of the Winds (1997)
▪ Soul of the Fire (1999)
▪ Faith of the Fallen (2000)
▪ The Pillars of Creation (2002)
▪ Naked Empire (2003)
▪ Chainfire (2005)
▪ Phantom (2006)
▪ Confessor (2007)
▪ Debt of Bones (2001, prequel novella)
ABC and Sam Raimi were crazy enough to try and pour this shit into the mould of a tv series. Legend of the Seeker premiered in 2008 and ran for two seasons. It captured the spirit of the books, in so much as it sucked but was vaguely entertaining so long as you shut down most of your brain.
Trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kgPCa_NSjc
What matters most, though, is that Terry has a new thing coming out on August 16. A Richard and Kahlan novel.
Which is a surprise, really. But its not something I can pass up. All going well, Richard is going to kick little girls in the jaw, speechify, slice up peace protesters, and generally rock the fuck out. The big question for Kahlan is whether or not, or indeed how many times, she gets raped. The Omen Machine will, in 528 pages, take you through that epic, epic, epic, epic #1 New York Times storytelling BEAST of a journey.
Amazong link:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0765327724/?tag=neogaf0e-20
Excerpt:
I know absolutely nothing more about the plot than this. It has Richard and Kahlan in it. Hannis Arc sounds like a badass. You wish your mama called you Hannis. The Seven are obviously wizards/spirits that Richard is going to have to kill/banish/rape. This could be the last book, or it could be the start of a whole new adventure. Im going to buy this thing and read it. It would be awesome if this thread were a place to talk about it, or about Terrys other masterworks, or writers who work in the same tradition.
AMAZONG:
Crazy Goodkind Forum folks
This man, nay this spirit of truth, was born in Nebraska in 1948. He has a dislikable face, a pony-tail, some macho pretensions, no talent whatsoever, and a fucked-up imagination. And perhaps (fuck perhaps - its clear) a sizzling hatred of women.
[If anybody substantively disagrees with the above, or cares for Terry Goodkind sufficiently to be offended on his behalf, please PM me and I will consider modifications.]
He may also be quite ill, due to the strains of creating timeless art. He epitomises manly health in this first pic:
But doesnt look so flash in this more recent one:
He is a fantasy writer. He denies it, because he thinks his integration of philosophical themes (and TRUTHS) sets him apart from the infantile ranks of folks who write about dragons and elves. The philosophy he espouses - ordinarily in really goddamn long, really tedious, and commonly psychotic speeches - is Objectivism, Ayn Rands acid streak of sputum. Terry thinks Rand is the greatest thinker ever. Go home Aristotle, give up Locke.
Quick and dirty synopsis of the first book, Wizards First Rule.
The avatar of this philosophy in Terrys books is Richard Rahl, son of an evil dude called Darken Rahl (who is dead, but is an agent so he can hover in between worlds and do spooky shit anyway). Richard was minding his own business in the woods when he managed to save some pretty girl (Kahlan) from a four-man assassin squad sent by Darken Rahl. Darken (ruler of Dhara) wanted to take over the Midlands (the peaceful land on one side of a magical boundary). Richard went to see his Uncle Zedd (a crazy powerful wizard, and the cracker of what passes for jokes in these books) and Zedd gave him a magical sword and anointed him SEEKER: a kind of frighteningly violent moral ombudsman. They need to stop Darken Rahl from opening a set of magical boxes, within which lie stunning sorcerous reserves of power. Richard gets kidnapped, though, by Darkens red-leather clad dominatrix bodyguards, and is tortured/raped for what seems like an eternity, before escaping, making friends with a dragon, and tricking Rahl into (fatally) opening the wrong box. In the meantime, Kahlan has made a paedophile eat his own testicles, and we have encountered the most shameless Gollum rip-off in fiction.
Fan art of Richard Rahl:
Succeeding books involve:
Gratch, Richards wookie companion, whose vocabulary is pretty much limited to Gratch luuuurrg Raatch arrrgh.
Rape pits.
Jaw-shattering kicks.
Evil chickens.
A border-fence of bells that liquefy people.
Sorcerous control achieved by slicing off nipples.
Nudity as a tactic of war.
Digital rape as a way to free someone from chakra imbalance.
Prostitute murder described with patent glee.
Repeated endorsement for genocide.
Mind-dissolving explanations of the series magic system.
Hilarious physical improbabilities: fighting without a spinal cord.
The calculated degradation of any female character.
Strokes of evil genius: banning fire, making red fruit poisonous.
Apartheid against black-haired people.
More rape.
Consensual (if slightly coerced) missionary-position sex between an aspirant Dark Sorceress and a big leathery demon called a Namble, which has a nastily barbed phallus. The Sorceress, as with a few other female characters thrust into unpleasant sexual situations in Goodkind's books, starts to enjoy it after a while.
If people can remember other high points, I can add them to the OP.
Sandstorm Reviews, and the Literature forum at Westeros, have put years into some of the most penetrating Goodkind exegesis.
http://sandstormreviews.blogspot.com/2006/08/goodkind-parodies.html
And those books, collectively The Sword of Truth series, are:
▪ Wizard's First Rule (1994)
▪ Stone of Tears (1995)
▪ Blood of the Fold (1996)
▪ Temple of the Winds (1997)
▪ Soul of the Fire (1999)
▪ Faith of the Fallen (2000)
▪ The Pillars of Creation (2002)
▪ Naked Empire (2003)
▪ Chainfire (2005)
▪ Phantom (2006)
▪ Confessor (2007)
▪ Debt of Bones (2001, prequel novella)
ABC and Sam Raimi were crazy enough to try and pour this shit into the mould of a tv series. Legend of the Seeker premiered in 2008 and ran for two seasons. It captured the spirit of the books, in so much as it sucked but was vaguely entertaining so long as you shut down most of your brain.
Trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kgPCa_NSjc
What matters most, though, is that Terry has a new thing coming out on August 16. A Richard and Kahlan novel.
Which is a surprise, really. But its not something I can pass up. All going well, Richard is going to kick little girls in the jaw, speechify, slice up peace protesters, and generally rock the fuck out. The big question for Kahlan is whether or not, or indeed how many times, she gets raped. The Omen Machine will, in 528 pages, take you through that epic, epic, epic, epic #1 New York Times storytelling BEAST of a journey.
Amazong link:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0765327724/?tag=neogaf0e-20
Excerpt:
I know absolutely nothing more about the plot than this. It has Richard and Kahlan in it. Hannis Arc sounds like a badass. You wish your mama called you Hannis. The Seven are obviously wizards/spirits that Richard is going to have to kill/banish/rape. This could be the last book, or it could be the start of a whole new adventure. Im going to buy this thing and read it. It would be awesome if this thread were a place to talk about it, or about Terrys other masterworks, or writers who work in the same tradition.
AMAZONG:
Crazy Goodkind Forum folks
.