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NeoGAF's Poetry Corner - #50: A Cause to Celebrate or a Chance to Fall Apart

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A

Ashes

Banned
NeoGAF's Poetry Corner - #50: A Cause to Celebrate or A Chance to Fall Apart

600px-Phenakistoscope_3g07690b.gif


http://youtu.be/pEq62PV2GUM

http://youtu.be/6fZmN4aSri8

Theme: A Cause to Celebrate or A Chance to Fall Apart

Interpret the theme as you wish... ;)


Optional Secondary Objective: Rhythm

Interpret this as a call to whatever this may lead to. ;)


Submission Deadline; (PST)

t1336806000z4.png


The deadline is next Friday, the 11th of May 2012.

Voting Deadline; (PST)

t1336978800z4.png


The deadline normally runs over the course of the submission deadline weekend.



* Rules Etc
* Archives Part 1
* Archives part 2
* Previous Challenges: 1 to 49
* Op Template
 
I

iavi

Member
I've got one coming along pretty damn well, if I do say so myself.
Participate in this one, ppl
 
I

iavi

Member
The Travelers.

Though tried separately life's step-stones
--stepping atop rubbled thrones,
over bloodied domes felled side shattered bones
--they together greeted the gate of the garden.
Hand in hand where apples grew.

And with their arrival,
the gate, themed of a white-gold,
glistening against an abundance of greenery,
with its ornate handles of which angels hold,
it welcomed the travelers with its arms open
allowing them not only in, and the sights
that they weren’t at all alone in hoping,
but the thoughts that pain may never cease.

Still, the travelers took passage all the same.
Guided slowly past the places of those in fits of fanfare
who'd have knelt but only feet from them
those arched into postures of pain.
All towards the apple they’d soon call their own,
the travelers traveled with anticipation, still.

But the message was duly known:
That about as quickly as some winds carry blessings
the crueler of them will knock from a tree
the fruit before ripe.
 
K

kehs

Banned
A Cause to Celebrate and A Chance to Fall Apart
------------------------

You opened my eyes with your vision,
Slowly and surely we blended together,
We prodded and pushed each other,
Dancing each night, and scurrying about in day.

Reality reminded you of the repercussions you've yet to receive,
Fanciful fantasies, we forewent the fallacies of our shared daydream,
Deceivingly dire diplomacy wasn't daunting enough to cover the lies.

With you I celebrated the beautiful notes that played in my head,
Without you I fell apart trying to pluck the strings in fruitless recitals.
 
G

Grakl

Member
Falling Apart, and a Reason for Celebration

In this poem,
I attempt to woo my Love
with Beautiful imagery,
Inspiring life lessons,
and Vague existential meanings
that are Lost on the reader
because this poem
Simply is not well written.

After all, in poetry
are you not supposed to Desire
someone, or more importantly, something,
with utmost Haste and Passion?
There is no time for Thought,
only Spontaneity,
and perhaps a dash of Incompetence
with some scattered metaphors.

You do not even know my name, or my occupation, or how I Speak, Look, Act,
nor of my love, his/her occupation, or how he/she Speaks, Looks, Acts.
This poem, as all other bad poetry, will remain as Vague as possible
to either keep the reader constantly guessing or finally to turn them away
with a sigh. What a Relief.
 
T

Truth101

Banned
Captain

That night we met
our promise was made,
on the Captain's Moon we bet.

To stand strong
to hold fast
no ship could steal our dance
no wave could wet our souls...

For the Captain we promised,
to forget the night.

And the day we woke,
not a memory in sight
but an empty bottle...

To remember the night.
 
D

Dresden

Member
--(a dreary song,
sung by men with whip-scars on their backs.)

Neigh-ho, neigh-ho,
the ponies rustled in the fields below.
And us sailors made our way to the fields below.
Say-ho, say-ho,
the ponies scattered in the fields below.
And we said we can't have that / got our guns
and shot the ponies in the fields below.

--(in this scene we are treated to
men gutting and skinning)

A young man speaks, in sotto voce:

They fell. They made good eating that night,
and when morning came we woke with bleary eyes.
This truly is the land of the blessed, we said,
then when we turned to the spit there the bones
heaped from where we'd tossed them after ripping the meat off the bones
we cried in horror--for the horse-flesh we'd gnawed
had been no horseflesh. A land of blessings,
a land of magic, deep in the fields below the ocean.
A stack of bones knee-high with the skulls of children sitting on top.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Miri said:
Let us not celebrate just yet. The real test is if he'll vote come time ;)
Click to expand...

Sits back down.

"I see," he said smiling in agreement with the former. "Alright, put the music on again, roll the gif... let's see who else comes to this dance.."
 
B

British Monsoon

Member
Like dancers, taking breathless steps upon the edge of a knife's blade,
out into the darkening night they sped
with a strange mix of elation and dread,
almost anticipating that fatal moment, when broaching a subject forbade
by years of petty fights where emotions had welled
and the poisoned waves of anger had swelled,
trapping them, inexorably, in the grasp of a whirlpool haphazardly made
to be a prison of their own hateful design,
their relationship the arguments had come to define,
happy wedding day left far behind, lives worn, frayed and faded to grey.
 
F

FelixOrion

Poet Centuriate
Nothing

Hello once again my old friend.
It seems I won't be leaving you.
So once more your stairs I ascend
but they go and bid you adieu.

I must admit your old spirit
has changed since yesterday's sun shined.
Your old minds have shown their merit;
The others their summers primed.
Your hallways were once so lively
and seemed to overflow with life!
Now they move in sunlight blithely
But your dark halls cut like a knife.

My friends spent their last days with you
smiling and their cars stuffing.
I spent it lonely and subdued,
And your dark rooms left with nothing.
 
N

Neutrality

Member
This is a song, or is supposed to be a song.
I can upload the actual thing, but that wouldn't be until tomorrow morning.

Aside, myself

Underneath,
burned bridges I lay
in water I pulled from a creek you pulled
from a river at bay
from the sea.
Salt water it burns and it dissolves all my teeth.

And you write,
stollen words on your skin
so people they wont ignore you
when you're feeling alone
again.

And it would take,
an honest heart to tell
the truth I'm lost in you
and drowning in myself.
I'm just another sentence
on a page, in a book
that's far too high on the shelf.

And it reads:

I want to burn like a fire burns houses down,
I want to love like two eagles falling to the ground,
I want to lie like the sights you've seen in your eyes,
I want to steal your grace and build paradise.

And when it comes undone, your's will be the song I sing
Formed from faulty fables, oh and moldy melodies
And they go
"You're the wind in the tallest trees."
Oh and they go
"You're the ocean breeze."
 
K

kid ness

Member
a letter

a push of my fingertips spills faded blue ink,
the first time in too many months,
but i don't owe an explanation.

two years ago - that friday morning,
justice found you, stripped your life bare.
your other half exposed,
weighing more than the you i knew.

…a pull for thought, and i ask myself,
should i surrender my anger?

the bars you're behind hold an image you now fit,
a jumpsuit you now wear, and a life you now live.
are you miserable?
two gallons away but i swear you're farther.

a final pull for hesitation and x-ing words too vulnerable.
abe lincoln stares back at me.
two hours of pushing and pulling,
just to throw it away.
 
C

Cyan

Banned
a single bone

I set a single
bone
atop another

no muscle, blood, or sinew
no ties to prove a union
no sign of solidarity
no token bearing out accord

this fearful callow seedling
of a human form
suffers gravity
and weather
and time

and the inattention of a careless gardener

but in itself, and lonely
it stands
 
A

Alfarif

This picture? uhh I can explain really!
Won

Plates of armor to protect the born
In mindless terror
In beautiful surrender
Along golden roads of splendor and purpose
For here we are now
Broken and marred
Where bodies burn beneath the twin suns
Rank and torn
File and paled
Red and black meet at the intersection
These fractured meters
These terrible streets

March on, march on
The dying days aren't over
The defiant still stand
With wisdom upon their lips

Preach on, preach on
This is a celebration
Chant on, chant on
We have won.
 
D

disappeared

Banned
"NeoGAF's Poetry Corner - #50: A Cause to Celebrate or a Chance to Fall Apart"

I got a message in the box
saying,
hey
you should participate in the 50th poetry collection
Okay.
I clicked the hyperlink and was transported
into a world
where
we're all doomed.
and nobody can write to save their soul.
Miri posted a poem, and I didn't read it.
Copernicus posted a poem, and I didn't read it.
Grakl posted another.
then Truth101
then Dresden
Ward, he did too.
and then Bootaaay
and Felix Orion
and Neutrality
then kid ness
so did Cyan
and then Alfarif.
all hidden people as hidden names
in hidden places in dark, hidden corners of the planet
stink and rest in comfort,
wonderful will
for the day
to wake up and hear nothing
but the ringing in the ears
and
some
are
writers writers writers writers writers writers
doomed doomed doomed doomed doomed
and some are
in the newspapers
my asshole bled after wiping too much
and I had too many beer at the bar tonight
drinking with rich fools
complaining of their women
I tried to take a waitress home with me tonight but she said no
and so I drive home
and there is a bag of almonds on the bathroom floor
by the toilet
I must have left them there yesterday
and there is this screen
telling me
hey
you should participate in the 50th poetry collection
the runners
run from
the runners
until they run out
 
A

Ashes

Banned
Leave it in disappeared. Who cares?* We've had drunk poems before. Believe me. On that note, cheers. ;P




*now of course. You may regret it later though. :(
 
D

disappeared

Banned
Entry #2

forest shivered. a lot lately, more than it used to. Those four men walked the plank. Sharks swam around. The captain had ordered the anchor lowered and reserves of raw meat thrown into the water. They waited for a while and by mid-afternoon they could see one. Then two. Captain ordered the four spies to walk. And each by each they went over and down to the water. The sharks ripped the men apart and the water had now turned a violet shade. Captain ordered anchor’s up and the crew cheered and drank until the next morning. It was sunrise and the ship sailed on.

One night I got real drunk with a party of girls. Six of them total, I think. We were at the bar where most of them worked and drank for a couple of hours and ate a platter of chips. Later we went to one of the girl’s houses. By this time we had all drank a lot of smoked joints and cigarettes. We drank and listened to the radio and then I got up and walked over to one of the girls standing in the living room. I kissed her and we both backed off. We drank some more and then I got sick and vomited on the basement carpet. They called me a cab and I went home and now most of those girls give me scornful looks whenever I go to the bar for chicken wings. Several months later I got a number from a new girl working there. I called her after she was off work and she said she was driving straight home. She had a last drink at the bar before close and somebody dropped something in it. She said the room was spinning and bye. Never talked to her again. Last I heard she ended up banging some guy with a big truck with the horns on the hood and those rubber truck-testicles hanging from the rear bumper.
 
A

Ashes

Banned
The Entry List

Miri - The Travelers
Copernicus - A Cause to Celebrate and A Chance to Fall Apart
Grakl - Falling Apart, and a Reason for Celebration
Truth101 - Captain
Dresden --(a dreary song,
sung by men with whip-scars on their backs.)
Ward - Producers Do & Producers Don't
Bootaaay - Frayed
FelixOrion - Nothing
Tim the Wiz - Family First
Neutrality - Aside, myself
kid ness - a letter
Cyan - a single bone
Alfarif - Won
disappeared - "NeoGAF's Poetry Corner - #50: A Cause to Celebrate or a Chance to Fall Apart"
Ashes1396 - Quarter of a Thousand Nights
disappeared - Entry #2
 
I

iavi

Member
What a turnout. A cause to celebrate, indeed.

Anyway, I'll try to have these read by the end of the day--having already done initial reads on a good percentage of them, surprisingly. But I'll give it all another perusal along with comprehensive crits--as comprehensive as I can be, anyway. To the occasion.
 
G

Grakl

Member
Cyan, oh how you pull at my heart strings. I loved it.

Votes:

1. Cyan - a single bone
2. Tim the Wiz - Family First
3. Neutrality - Aside, myself

Where's that recording, Neutrality? I'm looking forward to it.
 
I

iavi

Member
So much for having my crits/votes in last night...or tonight, for that matter. I'll have them in first thing tomorrow morning.
 
T

Tim the Wiz

Banned
1. Dresden - Untitled
2. Cyan - a single bone
3. Bootaaay - Frayed

HMs: Miri - The Travelers & Ashes - Quarter of a Thousand Nights & Neutrality - Aside, myself
 
N

Neutrality

Member
Benn very busy with work, but I'll try to record that song today.
Here are my votes though, sorry about them being late.
Time differences are hard.

1. Cyan
2. Tim the Wiz
3. Miri
 
A

Ashes

Banned
One of these days we'll do these things properly. But that day is not today. We'll give it another day, shall we? and then call time.
 
W

Ward

Member
1 - Miri - The Travelers.

2 - Grakl - falling apart, or a reason for celebration

3 - Tim the Wiz - Family First

HM - Cyan - a single bone

HM - Truth 101 - Captain

HM - disappeared - #50


**Footnote: I have yet to read entry from one, Ashes1396. My access is restricted at the current time. I hope to read it later, but hopes often are carelessly forgotten.
 
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