FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Theme: "Return"
Optional Secondary Objective: "Septolet"
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NeoGAF's Poetry Corner - #61: Return
- Thread starter FO-totality
- Start date
- Status
Theme: "Return"
Optional Secondary Objective: "Septolet"
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Submission Deadline:
Voting Deadline:
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Tragicomedy
Member
Fourteen Words Ain't a Lot
Traveling
down crowded
highways, headed home
for Christmas.
Safe
travels, GAF,
and Happy Holidays!
Traveling
down crowded
highways, headed home
for Christmas.
Safe
travels, GAF,
and Happy Holidays!
SquiddyCracker
Banned
My love!
I witnessed
your journey
With me stay
like before
like now
forever.
I witnessed
your journey
With me stay
like before
like now
forever.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Just outside
Over and away
Field of prestige
Forbidden by name
I
Never
Will
Over and away
Field of prestige
Forbidden by name
I
Never
Will
FunkeeFresh
Member
We reunite
under dark skies
and brisk winds
At years end
Return
Reinvent
Resolute
Topic and format is really interesting, looking forward to reading some unorthodox poetry
Thanks for the heads up Felix and Happy Holidays everyone!
under dark skies
and brisk winds
At years end
Return
Reinvent
Resolute
Topic and format is really interesting, looking forward to reading some unorthodox poetry
Thanks for the heads up Felix and Happy Holidays everyone!
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Giving the thread a last day bump.
Ashes, Cyan: Come on guys!
Ashes, Cyan: Come on guys!
Reneledarker
Banned
Why not:
The sounds that wants me to return
Sounds,
The sounds
Of the change,
My change.
I
Need to
Return to myself.
The sounds that wants me to return
Sounds,
The sounds
Of the change,
My change.
I
Need to
Return to myself.
British Monsoon
Member
Languidly,
tide breaks
bough upon
blessed shores,
long thought lost,
yearned for
in dream.
tide breaks
bough upon
blessed shores,
long thought lost,
yearned for
in dream.
Lufiaddict
Member
I have returned.
I am needed?
Transmit.
Awaiting instructions.
Receiving.
Unauthorized transmission.
Incorrect protocol.
I am needed?
Transmit.
Awaiting instructions.
Receiving.
Unauthorized transmission.
Incorrect protocol.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
This is a lot of entries this week, holy cow.
Last bump for the night before voting begins.
Last bump for the night before voting begins.
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
The Entries
For your consideration and clicking pleasure:
Tragicomedy - "Fourteen Words Ain't a Lot"
SquiddyBiscuit - "In Her Gentle Embrace"
AnkitT - "Sir, I would like to return this life, I think it's defective"
Crunched - "sponch"
FelixOrion - "Impossible"
FunkeeFresh - [Untitled]
Grakl - "Enjoying Another Hearty Meal"
ZeroRay - "Untitled"
Ashes1396 - "'midst the purview of the turnin' leaf"
Reneledarker - "The sounds that wants me to return"
Bootaaay - [Untitled]
Osietra - [Untitled]
Lufiaddict - "Dragoon"
Cyan - "Forever War"
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Time to Vote!
1.
2.
3.
Hm(s).
Remember: Voting is open to everyone, entrant or otherwise. If you don't vote, you also can't win, so vote!
For your consideration and clicking pleasure:
Tragicomedy - "Fourteen Words Ain't a Lot"
SquiddyBiscuit - "In Her Gentle Embrace"
AnkitT - "Sir, I would like to return this life, I think it's defective"
Crunched - "sponch"
FelixOrion - "Impossible"
FunkeeFresh - [Untitled]
Grakl - "Enjoying Another Hearty Meal"
ZeroRay - "Untitled"
Ashes1396 - "'midst the purview of the turnin' leaf"
Reneledarker - "The sounds that wants me to return"
Bootaaay - [Untitled]
Osietra - [Untitled]
Lufiaddict - "Dragoon"
Cyan - "Forever War"
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Time to Vote!
1.
2.
3.
Hm(s).
Remember: Voting is open to everyone, entrant or otherwise. If you don't vote, you also can't win, so vote!
1. Bootaaay - [Untitled] - hey, some of our 14 words were the same! I liked this one, gave me vivid images of Odysseus landing.
2. Ashes1396 - "'midst the purview of the turnin' leaf" - I'd like to be there. I feel like for a form so tightly constrained, it might've been better to use fewer prepositional phrases.
3. FelixOrion - "Impossible" - Not sure why, but my first image was a guy on a horse, holding a lance, watching as the knights ride by to the field of battle. Not sure that quite fits, though.
HM: FunkeeFresh
A common problem in many of our pieces was vagueness and generality--a lot of nonspecific, nonconcrete imagery. Granted, this is mostly because it's really bloody hard to get at all detailed in only 14 words. An additional problem was wasting words on thes, ofs, etc, which exacerbated the first problem.
This is one of those cases where Strunk & White are correct, and every word must tell. I think Bootaaay came closest to hitting that mark. Super fun challenge, though; I'd love to try something similar again.
2. Ashes1396 - "'midst the purview of the turnin' leaf" - I'd like to be there.
I feel like for a form so tightly constrained, it might've been better to use fewer prepositional phrases.3. FelixOrion - "Impossible" - Not sure why, but my first image was a guy on a horse, holding a lance, watching as the knights ride by to the field of battle. Not sure that quite fits, though.
HM: FunkeeFresh
A common problem in many of our pieces was vagueness and generality--a lot of nonspecific, nonconcrete imagery. Granted, this is mostly because it's really bloody hard to get at all detailed in only 14 words. An additional problem was wasting words on thes, ofs, etc, which exacerbated the first problem.
This is one of those cases where Strunk & White are correct, and every word must tell. I think Bootaaay came closest to hitting that mark. Super fun challenge, though; I'd love to try something similar again.
FunkeeFresh
Member
1. ZeroRay - Great use of 14 words to tell a thought provoking incident while carrying some good imagry and linking to the main theme.
2. Cyan - Good use of theme, excellent imagery and format. I just felt the background to Zero's was more engaging
3. Ashes - I found this to have the best use of imagery, but I couldn't work out much of the main theme.
HM: TragicComedy, cuz it's christmas!!!
2. Cyan - Good use of theme, excellent imagery and format. I just felt the background to Zero's was more engaging
3. Ashes - I found this to have the best use of imagery, but I couldn't work out much of the main theme.
HM: TragicComedy, cuz it's christmas!!!
British Monsoon
Member
1. FunkeeFresh
2. Cyan
3. Ashes1396
HM; Crunched, Reneledarker
2. Cyan
3. Ashes1396
HM; Crunched, Reneledarker
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
1. Cyan
2. Crunched
3. FunkeeFresh
HM. Ashes
2. Crunched
3. FunkeeFresh
HM. Ashes
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Bumping for votes!
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
I'll tally up the votes later tonight or tomorrow due to travels (unless someone else wants to call it).
That should give us more time to vote and all that!
And to you as well!
I will give you a heads up on the next one!
That should give us more time to vote and all that!
And to you as well!
I will give you a heads up on the next one!
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Congrats Cyan
I think they should make your name cyan colored
I think they should make your name cyan colored
FO-totality
Poet Centuriate
Wat
Lufiaddict
Member
For those who didn't get the StarCraft reference, my poem was entirely made of quotes from the Dragoon unit.
Dragoon pilots were generally grievously wounded veteran templars retrieved from the battlefield, hence the "I have returned" quote.
Oh, and congrats to the winner!
Dragoon pilots were generally grievously wounded veteran templars retrieved from the battlefield, hence the "I have returned" quote.
Oh, and congrats to the winner!
Tragicomedy
Member
Sorry for the lack of voting. Was stuck doing family stuff. Congrats, Cyan!
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