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NintendosBooger · Feb 23, 2006

Sometimes, I would make these remarks to my co-workers, only to realize later (after the fact) that it was both stupid and rude. For example, last week was terrible for me

A pretty co-worker was suffering from this facial rash, and as she was coming down the stairs, I ran into her (on my way up to my office), and looked at her before saying, Jesus, what happened to your face? She looked at me plainly, explained what was happening, and resumed her march down the stairs when she replied, But thanks for noticing. Honestly? I thought she was being sincere until later that day.

A few days after that, I was chilling in the lobby with 3 female co-workers, one of them being the girl from the previous example. I was looking at the company mug shots (portraits of all the present employees). As I was flipping through the pictures, I made the remark, None of you [insert companys name] people are photogenic and chuckled. There was a pause and silence, and I looked up to see the women darting uncertain looks at one another, some at me, until one of them laughed it off.

To be honest with you, GAF, Ive not grown accustomed to working in an office environment, filled with occupants born in a previous generation. I crack a few jokes, throw a few friendly jabs here and there, and I get these looks like, Did he really say that?

This has happened plenty of times in the past, and it doesnt seem like Im learning.

Is this normal?

DSN2K · Feb 23, 2006

im a bit like you I speak my mind sometimes when I really should'nt :lol

I would not worry about it just next time try to think before you speak.

keeblerdrow · Feb 23, 2006

No, you're just really dense. And rude.

OpinionatedCyborg · Feb 23, 2006

Yes, because you're socially awkward, you're autistic... :lol. Sounds partially like a case of internet male messageboarder syndrome: what's funny online and amongst your MMORPG buddies usually doesn't fly in the "real world".

truffleshuffle83 · Feb 23, 2006

autistic??? sounds like youre just an ass to me j/k

quick drop some toothpicks and see if you can count them rainman style

NintendosBooger · Feb 23, 2006

OpinionatedCyborg said:
Yes, because you're socially awkward, you're autistic... :lol. Sounds partially like a case of internet male messageboarder syndrome: what's funny online and amongst your MMORPG buddies usually doesn't fly in the "real world".

I don't play MMORPGs or privately converse with online folks (unless I know them personally). As for being autistic, there are various levels of it, one of which includes suffering from a lack of "proper" social communication due to childhood events.

genjiZERO · Feb 23, 2006

The fact that you are able to use the internet means you are not autistic. Furthermore autism is diagnosed in childhood and is rather obvious. You may in fact be histrionic though

Papi · Feb 23, 2006

Yeah... you're autistic.

FlyinJ · Feb 23, 2006

Just think before you say something. Play a little game with yourself - "Wait, before I say this really crass, offensive statement, is it really necessary?".

You're not autistic, just socially inept.

OpinionatedCyborg · Feb 23, 2006

NintendosBooger said:
I don't play MMORPGs or privately converse with online folks (unless I know them personally). As for being autistic, there are various levels of it, one of which includes suffering from a lack of "proper" social communication due to childhood events.

Did Readers Digest just have a feature on autism or something? It seems like every month there's a new fad disease every dumbass thinks they have: "OMG, my skin is really dry, I have LUPUS, the disease with 1000 faces."

NintendosBooger · Feb 23, 2006

FlyinJ said:
Just think before you say something. Play a little game with yourself - "Wait, before I say this really crass, offensive statement, is it really necessary?".

You're not autistic, just socially inept.

How am I socially inept? I was social in college and in my neighborhood, but these old buzzards at work take offense to every little thing that's thrown at them. So what I made a remark about your face? Everyone else did the same thing, except they didn't vocalize it.

Already in this thread I've been referred to as dense, socially inept, and a jackass, but if those events from the examples in the first post occured in reverse fashion -- me being the recepient of them -- I wouldn't have taken it to heart and probably would have fired back in good sport.

Fatghost · Feb 23, 2006

If you can FHUTA with the pretty co-worker, you're not autistic, you're cocky and funny. If you can't, then you're just an ass.

NintendosBooger · Feb 23, 2006

Fatghost28 said:
If you can FHUTA with the pretty co-worker, you're not autistic, you're cocky and funny. If you can't, then you're just an ass.

We were intimate in the past. But not any more. In fact, she's turned completely cold on me.

OpinionatedCyborg · Feb 23, 2006

NintendosBooger said:
How am I socially inept? I was social in college and in my neighborhood, but these old buzzards at work take offense to every little thing that's thrown at them. So what I made a remark about your face? Everyone else did the same thing, except they didn't vocalize it.

Already in this thread I've been referred to as dense, socially inept, and a jackass, but if those events from the examples in the first post occured in reverse fashion -- me being the recepient of them -- I wouldn't have taken it to heart and probably would have fired back in good sport.

Your co-workers are not your young friends, and your young friends are not your co-workers; converse with each accordingly. Treat your co-workers professionally, and you'll be fine.

Read this: The "Geek Syndrome"
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aspergers_pr.html

maynerd · Feb 23, 2006

Autistic...No
Dick...Yes

Beavertown · Feb 23, 2006

You don't have any common sense.

PhoenixDark · Feb 23, 2006

You need to learn how to talk to women. Some things you just don't say to them.

Fatghost · Feb 23, 2006

NintendosBooger said:
We were intimate in the past. But not any more. In fact, she's turned completely cold on me.

Then there is nothing wrong with you.

NintendosBooger · Feb 23, 2006

PhoenixDark said:
You need to learn how to talk to women. Some things you just don't say to them.

I tend to be friendly with women whom I have little to no sexual interest in. I was being buddy-buddy with them in the lobby, and the chic with the f'd up face with whom I was intimate has long since thrown me off her radar.

DarienA · Feb 23, 2006

NintendosBooger said:
I tend to be friendly with women whom I have little to no sexual interest in. I was being buddy-buddy with them in the lobby, and the chic with the f'd up face with whom I was intimate has long since thrown me off her radar.

You are not autistic... but you aren't socially graceful either.... Women don't take physical comments/jokes like men do. i.e. most guys would laugh off a you're getting fat joke for example... and most women would not.

Flynn · Feb 23, 2006

genjiZERO said:
The fact that you are able to use the internet means you are not autistic. Furthermore autism is diagnosed in childhood and is rather obvious. You may in fact be histrionic though

I exhcange emails with my autistic brother in law quite frequently.

pixelfish · Feb 23, 2006

If you replaced autistic with asshole, then I think your self diagnosis might be correct. Kidding aside, maybe you need to grow up a bit and realize that saying something offensive, not matter how true, is something that only kids can get away with. Men and women get offended when some jerk spouts off about their looks so it's not a woman thing either.

jenov4 · Feb 23, 2006

It's all about the delivery and timing, especially with statements like these. You obviously failed at that and I'm sure the whole company hates you now.

... on the good side, you're not autistic.

PhoenixDark · Feb 23, 2006

NintendosBooger said:
I tend to be friendly with women whom I have little to no sexual interest in. I was being buddy-buddy with them in the lobby, and the chic with the f'd up face with whom I was intimate has long since thrown me off her radar.

You'll learn eventually I suppose. Try not to make the same mistake twice and you'll be fine.

/Dr. Phoenix

snacknuts · Feb 23, 2006

NintendosBooger said:
So what I made a remark about your face? Everyone else did the same thing, except they didn't vocalize it.

Thinking mean shit and not saying it = standard.
Thinking mean shit and vocalizing it = you're a dick.

This might help.

BigGreenMat · Feb 23, 2006

zesty said:
Thinking mean shit and not saying it = standard.
Thinking mean shit and vocalizing it = you're a dick.

This might help.

I don't think he was being mean. He was just making observations. It wasn't like he was purposely attacking anyone. There is a difference.

DonasaurusRex · Feb 23, 2006

you're not autistic thats for sure.

snacknuts · Feb 23, 2006

BigGreenMat said:
I don't think he was being mean. He was just making observations. It wasn't like he was purposely attacking anyone. There is a difference.

Let's say I stood on a street corner making observations and verbalizing them.

"Hey, you are extremely overweight and unattractive as a result."
"You clearly have questionable hygiene practices and I find your body odor to be almost nauseating."
"Your physically deformed child is disturbing to look at, and it makes many people uncomfortable to be around him/her in public."

Just because those things would be true wouldn't make me any less of a dick for saying them.

Whether or not he was intentionally being mean is irrelevant. Perception is reality. If the girl with the face issue walked away thinking, "What a dick!" than he was being mean, even if he didn't intend to be. If an entire office full of people finds his behavior to be boorish or overly deprecating, he should probably keep his "observations" to himself.

Fresh Prince · Feb 23, 2006

I'd think you suffer from a condition known as 'social retardation around polite company'.
However I suffer from the same disease as you do so I empathise with you.

fart would say this is when internet male meets the office environment.

BlueTsunami · Feb 23, 2006

Dude, you ever watch this commercials where the guy is working in an office environment and his friends mess around with him and you see the guy squirming and shit...yeah

NintendosBooger · Feb 23, 2006

zesty said:
Let's say I stood on a street corner making observations and verbalizing them.

"Hey, you are extremely overweight and unattractive as a result."
"You clearly have questionable hygiene practices and I find your body odor to be almost nauseating."
"Your physically deformed child is disturbing to look at, and it makes many people uncomfortable to be around him/her in public."

Just because those things would be true wouldn't make me any less of a dick for saying them.

Whether or not he was intentionally being mean is irrelevant. Perception is reality. If the girl with the face issue walked away thinking, "What a dick!" than he was being mean, even if he didn't intend to be. If an entire office full of people finds his behavior to be boorish or overly deprecating, he should probably keep his "observations" to himself.

Main man, you make it sound like I assessed the situation and thoughtfully formulated a response. The fact of the matter is, when I saw the woman come down the stairs, my response was more reflexive in nature --- like subconsciously screaming "Shit!" when something awful happens or cursing habitually.

PhlegmMaster · Feb 23, 2006

I don't think there's anything wrong with what you said. Well, not in those two examples. Noticing someone has a rash or making a generalized comment about the photogenicness of a group of people isn't the same as calling a specific individual ugly. I mean, the rash will go away, and very few people are photogenic anyway; it takes a very sensitive person to get offended by that kind of comment.

Chittagong · Feb 23, 2006

GAF slogan get!

snacknuts · Feb 23, 2006

NintendosBooger said:
Main man, you make it sound like I assessed the situation and thoughtfully formulated a response. The fact of the matter is, when I saw the woman come down the stairs, my response was more reflexive in nature --- like subconsciously screaming "Shit!" when something awful happens or cursing habitually.

:lol Fair enough. I guess you need to work on your impulse control. I have a friend who has the same problem, although apparently not to the same extent.

momolicious · Feb 23, 2006

do you drink alcohol at work

Ecrofirt · Feb 23, 2006

you've got a touch of the downs.

Kevtones · Feb 23, 2006

You're not autistic but you're a retard, make sense?

cicero · Feb 23, 2006

keeblerdrow said:
No, you're just really dense. And rude.

Indeed.

NintendosBooger said:
Main man, you make it sound like I assessed the situation and thoughtfully formulated a response. The fact of the matter is, when I saw the woman come down the stairs, my response was more reflexive in nature --- like subconsciously screaming "Shit!" when something awful happens or cursing habitually.

See keeblerdrow quote above.

belgurdo · Feb 23, 2006

You're not autistic. Just a failure.

iced lightning · Feb 24, 2006

Ecrofirt said:
you've got a touch of the downs.

yeah, sounds like a case of half-d.

Raistlin · Feb 24, 2006

NintendosBooger said:
How am I socially inept? I was social in college and in my neighborhood, but these old buzzards at work take offense to every little thing that's thrown at them. So what I made a remark about your face? Everyone else did the same thing, except they didn't vocalize it.

How is that not socially inept?

Being able to communicate with your peers is only part of the equation ... and generally the easy part. In those situations, you're simply reacting 'naturally' to conversation - and not bothering to actively screen your thoughts.

When with 'outside' company however, you need to envision the boundaries social norms dictate for said peoples. Conversing the same way you did with your college roommate is not gonna fly in many circumstances.

Seriously ... wtf?

Christoff Yurievich · Feb 24, 2006

read this article at Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger's_syndrome

Social impairments

Although there is no single feature that all people with Asperger syndrome share, difficulties with social behavior are nearly universal and are perhaps the most important criteria that define the condition. People with Asperger syndrome lack the natural ability to see the subtexts of social interaction (sometimes resulting in well-meaning remarks that may offend and so on, finding it hard to know what is "acceptable") and also tend to lack the ability to broadcast their own emotional state.

Date of Lies · Feb 24, 2006

I used to be very much like you, but I quickly learned how to change the behavior from being rude and offensive to being a bit funnier and more socially adequate, while still being a bit cocky and all around frank.

For instance, when you said "Wow, you people are really not photogenic" you could have said instead: "Wow, everyone here at [company's name] is SO photogenic!" in a half sarcastic tone. This let's them know your initial reaction through the sarcasm (that they aren't photogenic), it's way funnier (in a social situation, obviously its not genius), and you will never offend anyone and if you do, you can easily slip away from it ("Hey I was being serious, you guys should do porn!")

keeblerdrow · Feb 24, 2006

So, a few hours later, have we figured out if this guy can use a medical condition as a crutch for his interminable asshattery, or what?

Sukahii16 · Feb 27, 2006

Nintendosbooger,

All kidding aside, if you are concerned that you may have autism or seem to be having trouble socially to the point that it's causing dysfunction and stress in your life, you should see a trained mental health professional that can provide a more definitive diagnosis than the people on this message board. You may find that you have a higher functioning form of autism, you may find that you symptoms indicative of a different diagnosis, or you may find you do not need help at all. In any case, such an assessment would be helpful either for piece of mind or to help understand what kind of help you need, if any.

Autism runs along a spectrum in terms of functionality. While it is considered a developmental disorder, it is possible that a person's symptoms are subtle and escaped notice in childhood. One reason for the increase in the cases of autism is due to better diagnosis and changing definitions. However, there is evidence that autism is on the rise that cannot be accounted for by this phenomenon. Autism is considered pervasive and not something that disappears after time but therapy can help a person achieve more of their potential.

Phranky · Feb 27, 2006

PhoenixDark said:
You need to learn how to talk to women. Some things you just don't say to them.

He needs to learn how to talk to women? :lol

There are some things you should say to them though, eh? ...

Miguel · Feb 27, 2006

Can you shoot 3s?

DJ_Tet · Feb 27, 2006

Miguel said:
Can you shoot 3s?

Autistic Gunner FTW!

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