Support NeoGAF

sn00zer · Jan 9, 2015

If you start a Katamari game make self referential jokes about how phoned in the last few games were then follow that with an intro level featuring a Katamari fan who has forgotten the game he once loved, you better deliver on a game that is original and is something the fans will like. WHAT YOU DONT DO IS PHONE THE GAME IN AND YOU ESPECIALLY DONT THROW MICROTRANSACTIONS INTO A FUCKING KATAMARI GAME JEEZUS H CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.

Imagine the original PS2 games. Okay now take those exact same levels but make sure you only take like idk...ONE TOWN FROM THEM...and I mean literally the town...dont include any of the world based levels...well you should include them but make sure they are around a quarter of the size of the originals.....then make sure you include maybe idk 20 new items. .... and Then have a total of something like ....10 levels including twists on fan favorites such as.... cowbear and roomcleanup...PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COWEAR DONT YOU REMEMBER EVERYONE SAYING HOW MUCH THEY LOVE FUCKING COWBEAR HOW UNFRUSTRATING AND FUN COWBEAR WAS YAH PUT THAT ONE IN THAT ONE EVERYONE LOVED JEEZUS CHRIST....

Oh and make sure you use a shit ton of polygons to smooth out the prince...I want you to making him so fucking smooth that it sucks up enough polygons that it shrinks all the levels and introduces a shit ton of pop in ....and then cram...AND I MEAN CRAM...a shit ton of cosmetic items and some goddamn awful currency system.... AND THEN THROW IN A MICRO TRANSACTION SYSTEM ABOUT GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT INSTEAD OF I DONT KNOW MAYBE A FUCKING UNLOCK SYSTEM THAT ISNT BASED ON SOME STUPID ASS CURRENCY SYSTEM...

Final thoughts:
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.... FUCK! YOU COULDA JUST PORTED WE <3 KATAMARI AND CALLED IT A DAY, BUT NOOOOOOOOO YOU HAD TO MAKE A HYPOTHETICAL THIRD PS2 GAME THAT WAS JUST A WORSE VERSION OF THE FIRST TWO WITH A HUGE HEAPING OF BULLSHIT ON TOP.... GOD DAMMIT...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

4/10

The writing and art style was still pretty fun and spot on with new wrinkles...and the stretch mechanic was a little interesting...and its classic Katamari...just a worse version of it...go buy Katamari Forever on PS3 if youve never played the series

bomblord1 · Jan 9, 2015

OP it's alright take deep breaths.

theSlacker · Jan 9, 2015

Don't worry. They can never take the first two games away from us.

Garraboa · Jan 9, 2015

TBF, you could exploit the game by giving you free currency and not pay a dime for those levels. But yeah, it was damn annoying to that just to circumvent their stupid DLC currency.

sn00zer · Jan 9, 2015

theSlacker said:
Don't worry. They can never take the first two games away from us.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I thought Katamari Forever was a great twist on the standard HD collections, and is the perfect place for people who have never played the games to get a damn solid Katamari experience....that said, We <3 Katamari is my favorite with PS3 and original on the same tier of likeableness

I AM IRATE

pantsmith · Jan 9, 2015

The actually ruined the way the King looks, too, which is just, like, the worst thing ever.

sn00zer · Jan 9, 2015

pantsmith said:
The actually ruined the way the King looks, too, which is just, like, the worst thing ever.

GOD IT WAS SO FUCKING TERRIBLE JEEZUS

It was fine, but there was something seriously off with the lighting making his face super dark compared to earlier games, making it hard to see sometimes....I liked the super awkward mocapped animations....but they really emphasized his bulge for some reason...it was a funny thing in the first few games, but they made it too overt...the Kings personality was still intact though...he was a bit nicer, but just as vain

theSlacker · Jan 9, 2015

sn00zer said:
I AM IRATE

You should be. Everyone should be. Touch My Katamari was that bad of a game. Not mechanically, but what they did to Katamari itself, from grinding for currency to tiny levels that never get bigger to how much they pandered to what they thought the humor of the series was. But even with all of that the series still had 2 amazing games that did everything the series really needed, and they can't be taken away no matter how bad the games got.

HUELEN10 · Jan 9, 2015

At least beautiful Katamari, the best game in the series hands-down, still is able to be played. We need more entries like that.

theSlacker · Jan 9, 2015

HUELEN10 said:
At least beautiful Katamari, the best game in the series hands-down, still is able to be played. We need more entries like that.

Pls go.

GunslingerVit · Jan 9, 2015

So, the PSP version is still the best handheld version?

Glad I looked into this topic, was considering getting Touch my Katamari as I got a Vita recently.

bobawesome · Jan 9, 2015

It was the first game I bought for my Vita three years ago. Not the best choice.

Strike · Jan 9, 2015

That bad, huh? Damn, I was actually considering picking it up at some point.

entremet · Jan 9, 2015

GunslingerVit said:
So, the PSP version is still the best handheld version?

Glad I looked into this topic, was considering getting Touch my Katamari as I got a Vita recently.

Honestly, the first two and Beautiful Katamari are the only ones worth playing.

sn00zer · Jan 9, 2015

entrement said:
Honestly, the first two and Beautiful Katamari are the only ones worth playing.

AHHHH SO TRUE SO TRUE

Forever (PS3) is fine if you dont have a PS2/360 available...its a good primer on the series and covers all the gameplay mechanics...

BreezyLimbo · Jan 9, 2015

The OST from Katamari Forever is legit tho

Zubz · Jan 9, 2015

entrement said:
Honestly, the first two and Beautiful Katamari are the only ones worth playing.

I still feel Forever's worth playing in its own right. Even if it is a compilation of stuff from all 3 games, it packs them together beautifully, IMO.

sn00zer · Jan 9, 2015

Zubz said:
I still feel Forever's worth playing in its own right. Even if it is a compilation of stuff from all 3 games, it packs them together beautifully, IMO.

I was going to reply to this with an image I found using google search of "yup"...turns out image searching "yup" has very strange unnerving results

mgs2master2 · Jan 9, 2015

I dont know what you are talking bout OP. I loved this game.

TomJoadsGhost · Jan 9, 2015

I don't know if it was because I went into it with expectations based on the 360/psp games (ie low) but I really liked the thing.

I liked the otaku cartoon too.

Flipyap · Jan 9, 2015

GunslingerVit said:
So, the PSP version is still the best handheld version?

Glad I looked into this topic, was considering getting Touch my Katamari as I got a Vita recently.

No way. The Vita version controls perfectly and the stretchable katamari is the first good addition to the series since... I think it might be the only mechanic they've added that actually fits and improves the game.
It has the same flaws as every post-We-<3-Katamari sequel - there's just no reason there should ever be so few stages in these games and figuring out which stage is which is just as complicated as it's ever been, but it's a solid Katamari game.

pantsmith said:
The actually ruined the way the King looks, too, which is just, like, the worst thing ever.

This is factually incorrect.
I wasn't fond of his 3Dness at first, but I've come around to it because without turning him polygonal, we would never get his fabulous new outfits and wildly sensual dances.

Plus, the king's model is strategically centered and zooming in without touching the camera gives you this:

If that's not game design perfection, then I don't know what is.

Touch My Katamari is just fine. And I do mean, fiiine.

bobawesome · Jan 9, 2015

The giraffe accessory is still my favorite part of that game. I should really redownload it so I can have it again. ;_;

Flipyap · Jan 9, 2015

Special shout-out to this guy and his dildo.

Gries · Jan 9, 2015

mgs2master2 said:
I dont know what you are talking bout OP. I loved this game.

Seriously. I'd even go so far as to say that it's among the top three games in the franchise, right after 'Katamari Damacy' and 'Beautiful Katamari'.

Sparrowhawk · Jan 9, 2015

Bought it one day when it was on sale. I loved the first two games in the series.
Now I'm afraid to touch it. D:

Epcott · Jan 9, 2015

I read this review in a Chris Farley "Down by the river " voice.

I enjoyed the game, IMO. Music was pretty good too. I do wish it was a bit longer though.

Pyccko · Jan 9, 2015

Eh, I liked it, but it was definitely missing that something that made the Keita Takahashi ones so special, just like others. Overall it was still a good time, though getting that last hat is a huge chore. Cuh-rist.

sn00zer said:
I was going to reply to this with an image I found using google search of "yup"...turns out image searching "yup" has very strange unnerving results

what the fuuuuuuuuck

Alex_Mexico · Jan 9, 2015

It was my very first Katamari so I loved it to bits. So much that after beating it I went to Amazon and ordered Katamari Forever.

If anything TMK ruined Forever for me because the former had the option of playing twin sticks as a regular modern third person game (left stick Fw/BW and strafe and right stick to turn), which was the way I played it and with Forever THERES no such option. The twin stick traditional Katamari way is too archaic and backwards for me.

Shinriji · Jan 9, 2015

GunslingerVit said:
So, the PSP version is still the best handheld version?

Glad I looked into this topic, was considering getting Touch my Katamari as I got a Vita recently.

Lol, no. Touch my Katamari is good, but short. And griding for the DLC extra levels is somewhat aggravating.

Stretching is the much-needed evolution of the Katamari gameplay that beautiful and forever lacks.

sixteen-bit · Jan 9, 2015

KD shoulda been a one-off

WLK rocks tho

Graphics Horse · Jan 9, 2015

huh I don't even remember anything about there being DLC.

SerTapTap · Jan 9, 2015

Eh, it wasn't THAT awful, it's just not a deviation from the "reuse levels from old Katamari games" thing while not being nearly as comprehensive as the PS3 one. As far as KAtamari On The Go is concerned it's alright, but it's no full-fledged Katamari game. Not that there are many of those.

Paskil · Jan 9, 2015

This was actually my introduction to Katamari. It had flown under my radar prior to picking it up on Vita. Well, not really true, I remember the unusual magazine ads and I think television ads, at some point, years ago. I'm glad it wasn't a huge let down for me. However, after circling back around and playing some of the other entries, I totally see your point, and agree, OP. That said, the time I spent with it, I still enjoyed. Since then, I have now added previous iterations to my collection. I will never play the Vita version again.

chrominance · Jan 9, 2015

Sir TapTap said:
Eh, it wasn't THAT awful, it's just not a deviation from the "reuse levels from old Katamari games" thing while not being nearly as comprehensive as the PS3 one. As far as KAtamari On The Go is concerned it's alright, but it's no full-fledged Katamari game. Not that there are many of those.

Pretty much my thoughts. Touch My Katamari's biggest problem to me is that it doesn't have very much content and it's all retreads of stuff we've played before. But it's not a bad Katamari game besides that, just like Katamari Forever is a great Katamari game if you think of it like a greatest hits package rather than a fresh entry (which we'll never get because the true mastermind, Keita Takahashi, has long since departed).

Jimmyfenix · Jan 9, 2015

chrominance said:
Pretty much my thoughts. Touch My Katamari's biggest problem to me is that it doesn't have very much content and it's all retreads of stuff we've played before. But it's not a bad Katamari game besides that, just like Katamari Forever is a great Katamari game if you think of it like a greatest hits package rather than a fresh entry (which we'll never get because the true mastermind, Keita Takahashi, has long since departed).

We are getting wattam on ps4 Keita Takahashi and his fork!

Bomber Bob · Jan 9, 2015

Quick cashgrab

chrominance · Jan 9, 2015

Jimmyfenix said:
We are getting wattam on ps4 Keita Takahashi and his fork!

But you can't roll things up into a cube-shaped mayor with indecisive hat syndrome!

sn00zer · Jan 9, 2015

WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THE NEW LEVELS BLOCKED BY DLC?! HEY GUYS I FOUND THE MISSING PART OF THE GAME! TURNS OUT THEY DID DO SOME ORIGINAL STUFF THEY JUST PUT IT BEHIND A GRIND/PAY WALL. JEEZUS H WHAT THE HELL NAMCO

maxcriden · Jan 9, 2015

That bad, huh? Sorry to hear it, sn00zer. I recently picked up the two PS2 games so I'll be eager to check those out for the first time.

lobdale · Jan 9, 2015

So Beautiful Katamari is good? I loved the PS2 games and also have Forever on PS3 (it's okay) but didn't get to try BK back in the day. Just got a 360 this week so LEMME KNOW

Pizza · Jan 9, 2015

lobdale said:
So Beautiful Katamari is good? I loved the PS2 games and also have Forever on PS3 (it's okay) but didn't get to try BK back in the day. Just got a 360 this week so LEMME KNOW

I thought it was a fart, tbh, it just seemed soulless compared to We <3 Katamari, but it's been a very long time since I've touched it

Lijik · Jan 9, 2015

How is the dlc stuff compared to Beautiful Katamari's, like is it substantially worse

Mr. Smiley · Jan 9, 2015

Worst part for me is that I only remember like two songs from the game.

That should not happen in a Katamari game.

sn00zer · Jan 9, 2015

Lijik said:
How is the dlc stuff compared to Beautiful Katamari's, like is it substantially worse

Well..there are ten levels on the catridge and ten DLC levels...so yes

Z.. · Apr 11, 2015

Mr. Smiley said:
Worst part for me is that I only remember like two songs from the game.

That should not happen in a Katamari game.

The soundtrack is it's best feature, afaic.

Visualante2 · Apr 11, 2015

I started playing this recently because it's the only Vita game I have that will fit on the internal memory. It was a little disappointing but I kept playing in the hopes that it would get better. The currency system is silly sure but it isn't necessary is it? The microtransactions were disgusting but I didn't know what price point this game started at.

The squash and stretch didn't really appeal to me but the jump was a neat addition. To change the form of a Katamari is basically heresy.

I can't knock the presentation. It has all the fun of the originals.

Support NeoGAF

LTTP: Touch My Katamari (from a long time Katamari fan)

Member

Banned

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Banned

Member

Member

Member

Member

Banned

Banned

Member

Banned

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Banned

Member

Member

Member

3 ft, coiled to the sky

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Similar threads