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Anyone else increasingly uncomfortable with "straight white male" as a derogative?

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Kinitari

Black Canada Mafia
I've been pretty vocal about this on GAF, but less so in real life.

The tongue in cheek self deprecating and humorous 'I'm a white dude' stuff aside, I've been growing increasingly uncomfortable with white dudes getting shit on for being white dudes.

Like, I get that there is an academic discussion that could be had about the role of white men in the world, and I think it's an interesting one, but that's not how I'm seeing the phrase being employed.

I'm seeing Gaffers read a post they don't agree with and ask "are you a white dude?". I'm seeing this general sentiment of "white guys don't understand", and I'm seeing significantly more aggressive and exclusionary stuff - where people want to intentionally exclude white dudes from events. Even at work, in certain settings I keep hearing stuff that makes me pretty uncomfortable with how the group of white men are talked about.

I really don't want this sort of sentiment to progress, and it makes me sad when I see some white guys internalize this. We have a diversity initiative at work, and two separate guys asked me entirely sincerely "am I allowed to come?". I've had white men (and women) talk about the guilt they feel for being white. It doesn't sit well with me, but sometimes I feel like it's just me.

Talk to me about it GAF.
 
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Yeah, there seems to be a lot of it lately - sometimes an uncomfortable amount, but you feel like you can't really complain about it because you're a white dude. Come at me GAF
 
Use that feeling to empathize with how minorities and women feel every day of their lives. Have a discussion about that.
 
It's entirely possible to criticize the over-exposure, priveledge, and prioritization of white males in our current culture while maintaining inclusivity and a focus on intersection.
 
Not really, it's pretty much a definition. I am a straight white male and it's up to me as to whether I interpret that as offensive.

I'm not a fan of the word "Cis" though. That feels like it was purely created/used in order to be derogatory.
 
Skilletor said:
Use that feeling to empathize with how minorities and women feel every day of their lives. Have a discussion about that.
Click to expand...

Read the OP, especially the part about a few white guys wanting to go to diversity events (in other words, what you're asking them to do) but not being sure if they are welcome.
 
It's called generalizing for the sake of conversation.

If you think someone is talking about you specifically you should probably think about why that is.
 
As a straight, white male I don't understand the guilt part. I don't feel guilty for being white, but I also recognize that it's because of my being white that I don't feel any guilt about it. I try to remain vigilant and cognizant of the disparity between my own experiences versus those of other non-white, non-male, non-hetero people and act accordingly (that is, to use my position of privilege to promote equality for all). I don't think it's that difficult a position to maintain.
 
It's okay, just people being people. Let them enjoy their schadenfreude. Being called a white male is about as insulting as being called an asshole for breaking the curve in a test or having 27 Lamborghinis in a Lamborghini account.
 
Auctopus said:
Not really, it's pretty much a definition. I am a straight white male and it's up to me as to whether I interpret that as offensive.

I'm not a fan of the word "Cis" though. That feels like it was purely created/used in order to be derogatory.
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"Cis" isn't derogatory at all. It's a descriptive word to specify someone who isn't trans. It's no more derogatory than "straight" is.
 
I think its one of those tight rope walking acts. You have to be both respectful but also able to talk about issues that white people in general don't want to touch, namely race which is probably the largest. Not for good reason as the moment something off color or biased is said the flood gates tend to open against them and wash them away in a deluge of counter attacks from people who might not be so understanding or willing to talk about the issue.

That said a lot of white men really need to be willing to meet minorities, women and others half way on these topics. Many don't even acknowledge white privilege as an actual thing and even bringing that up can sour any form of communication really fast. Its a real tough thing to eloquently express as a white person as their point of view is certainly valid but when discussing what might be wrong with it or how things could be improved without it sounding like an attack on them or even vice versa is really touchy.
 
Skilletor said:
Use that feeling to empathize with how minorities and women feel every day of their lives. Have a discussion about that.
Click to expand...

euphemism said:
It's entirely possible to criticize the over-exposure, priveledge, and prioritization of white males in our current culture while maintaining inclusivity and a focus on intersection.
Click to expand...

This.

I think people who are prejudice against straight white men are few and far between.

I assume that most people who say "are you white" here on GAF are either joking or genuinely curious.
 
Uncomfortable? Nah.

When intended use is as a pejorative or ad hominem or some other means of establishing bona fides in a discussion, it's usually a very good indicator that the individual isn't worth having a discussion with.

I see it as a convenient way of filtering.
 
Auctopus said:
Not really, it's pretty much a definition. I am a straight white male and it's up to me as to whether I interpret that as offensive.

I'm not a fan of the word "Cis" though. That feels like it was purely created/used in order to be derogatory.
Click to expand...

cis just means that your gender identity matches your sex as assigned at birth

it's not derogatory at all
 
I don't think it's being used increasingly as a derogative, and I don't feel like you gave any examples of it being used as one.
 
I saw a little bit of it in my graduate classes(feminist/women's studies) and most of it came from straight white males. They actually made some of the other students pretty uncomfortable and one guy actually had to be reprimanded by a teacher during his final presentation.
 
As a straight white male it doesn't bother me at all. I use it myself and poc use it in conversation with me when they vent about discrimination. I'm not based in the US tho so I don't know. I've definitely seen the same sentiment among my poc friends though, OP.

I can't relate to the feeling of guilt at all, either. It's rather responsibility to recognize a privilege and try to work against it.
 
WyndhamPrice said:
It's called generalizing for the sake of conversation.

If you think someone is talking about you specifically you should probably think about why that is.
Click to expand...
Isn't it completely normal that someone would be bothered by some generalizations? I don't think you even have to be part of that particular ethnicity to feel that way.
 
Cagey said:
Uncomfortable? Nah.

When intended use is as a pejorative or ad hominem or some other means of establishing bona fides in a discussion, it's usually a very good indicator that the individual isn't worth having a discussion with.

I see it as a convenient way of filtering.
Click to expand...

This is a good summary of how I feel about it. Never had it happen in my day-to-day though.
 
The juxtaposition of this thread right next to the thread about safe spaces and all the straight white men in there with their pitchforks and torches is just too good.
 
I think whether or not it makes you uncomfortable is irrelevant. While I don't condone the usage of that term (or any really to bring someone down), straight white men as a historical group have done a lot of horrible shit throughout recorded history. This is the scale balancing as far as I can see and now there is an equivalent to "nigger, spic, chink, etc."

I mean, if there's going to be a racist/ derogatory name for every group, there might as well be one for white people.
 
Cagey said:
Uncomfortable? Nah.

When intended use is as a pejorative or ad hominem or some other means of establishing bona fides in a discussion, it's usually a very good indicator that the individual isn't worth having a discussion with.

I see it as a convenient way of filtering.
Click to expand...

This. If anything it just makes me roll my eyes and move on with my life.
 
Cagey said:
Uncomfortable? Nah.

When intended use is as a pejorative or ad hominem or some other means of establishing bona fides in a discussion, it's usually a very good indicator that the individual isn't worth having a discussion with.

I see it as a convenient way of filtering.
Click to expand...

Yep. In certain contexts, it's basically a signifier in the same way that SJWs is; the person probably isn't someone I can have a good-faith dialogue with.
 
I think it's funny when it's meant in a light-hearted, or joking way. Oh man, those white people, so terrible.

But increasingly it just seems super mean-spirited and bitter.
 
I'm more uncomfortable about most things in our society unfairly being tipped in the favor of that demographic at the expense of other groups. But that's just me.
 
I don't really care. People can use straight white male as a derogative as much as they want. My life is pretty great so I really don't give a shit if others don't hold my race and sexual disposition in particular high esteem these days.
 
Eidan said:
I don't think it's being used increasingly as a derogative, and I don't feel like you gave any examples of it being used as one.
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Eh, there was a specific incident at work, but I don't want to get into the details. Regardless - there are plenty in the thread who talk about it being used as one, so at the very least it's not something I alone have internalized
 
"If I see a penny on the ground, I fucking flip it! I'm a straight white male in America, I've got all the luck I need."

As a straight white male, no.
 
Cagey said:
Uncomfortable? Nah.

When intended use is as a pejorative or ad hominem or some other means of establishing bona fides in a discussion, it's usually a very good indicator that the individual isn't worth having a discussion with.

I see it as a convenient way of filtering.
Click to expand...

Yup.

Although I do appreciate OP'S concern.
 
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