Some background. I'm a minority who wasn't raised to believe in any religion as a child. Not until I met some friends (now my best friends) in middle school who introduced me to Christianity. I enjoyed my time going to church and bible study. I agree with the majority of the things I have learned. (it's a fairly progressive church, people are friendly. I think their views on gay is still kinda iffy though. That I don't agree with. But it certainly nowhere close to the Westboro Baptist Church.)
I always have identify myself as a Christian since then, but never became a hardcore Christian though I still believe in many of it values. (worship god, love thy neighbors, be kind to everyone)
My Caucasian girlfriend comes from a conservative Christian family. Even though she didn't vote, and we had this talk before. She told me she would vote Trump, not Hillary, not even Bernie. (Bernie was my first choice)
Now we're fighting because this whole thing is putting immense stress on me. I don't sleep till 6 in the morning and even then I only sleep for about 2-3 hours, maybe. I'm constantly angry, depressed and suicidal thoughts keep reappearing. I don't understand why its affecting me so much. It's not like anyone in my family will be deported, but seeing the country losing or about to lose so much we have accomplished in term of equality and acceptance just make me feel so hopeless. I was not born in this country, and I was bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being the foreign kid. For my skin color, my accent, and my understanding of the English language isn't perfect.
I feel like all these negative headlines is making it all come back.
We're fighting, she is an understanding person but she keep telling me that we should love our enemies, and give me quotes from the bible. But it's not helping. I tell her all these things Trump is doing, what he's planning to do and all she keep saying is "I understand you're angry, and that you don't like Trump but I think we need to band together and do whats best for this country."
I tell her about how he's planning to stop funding organizations that help with refugees and victims in countries that desperately need our help. How he's planning on reopening CIA facilities so that they can waterboard people again. How he's going to stop focusing on climate change because fuck future generations.
The entire time, all I can think about is... "You want me to welcome with open arms those who would not hesitate to tear families apart, tell a woman that her body is not her decision to make and even worst. Emboldening those that kill you because they believe you skin color doesn't match theirs?"
It's not just her either, people I know from my church, including my best friends (I'm 95% sure they're republicans. I try not to talk politic with them cause it would just lead to disagreement). Many of them I believe feels the same way she does. It seems like the only ones who actually do understand are my high school friends who are much more liberal. I love her very much, but just I don't know what to do. I haven't had suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager or even feel this depressed, but this whole thing is bringing it all back in spade. Either these suicidal thoughts are going to take me over first or our relationship will end because of this.
TL;DR: The politics of this country is tearing apart my relationship, its effecting my health and I'm honestly at the end of my rope.
I know there are those who are in similar situations as I am as well. I guess that give me some comfort knowing I'm not alone. I'm really, really sorry for the rant. I've been holding this in for weeks and it's killing me inside.
I always have identify myself as a Christian since then, but never became a hardcore Christian though I still believe in many of it values. (worship god, love thy neighbors, be kind to everyone)
My Caucasian girlfriend comes from a conservative Christian family. Even though she didn't vote, and we had this talk before. She told me she would vote Trump, not Hillary, not even Bernie. (Bernie was my first choice)
Now we're fighting because this whole thing is putting immense stress on me. I don't sleep till 6 in the morning and even then I only sleep for about 2-3 hours, maybe. I'm constantly angry, depressed and suicidal thoughts keep reappearing. I don't understand why its affecting me so much. It's not like anyone in my family will be deported, but seeing the country losing or about to lose so much we have accomplished in term of equality and acceptance just make me feel so hopeless. I was not born in this country, and I was bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being the foreign kid. For my skin color, my accent, and my understanding of the English language isn't perfect.
I feel like all these negative headlines is making it all come back.
We're fighting, she is an understanding person but she keep telling me that we should love our enemies, and give me quotes from the bible. But it's not helping. I tell her all these things Trump is doing, what he's planning to do and all she keep saying is "I understand you're angry, and that you don't like Trump but I think we need to band together and do whats best for this country."
I tell her about how he's planning to stop funding organizations that help with refugees and victims in countries that desperately need our help. How he's planning on reopening CIA facilities so that they can waterboard people again. How he's going to stop focusing on climate change because fuck future generations.
The entire time, all I can think about is... "You want me to welcome with open arms those who would not hesitate to tear families apart, tell a woman that her body is not her decision to make and even worst. Emboldening those that kill you because they believe you skin color doesn't match theirs?"
It's not just her either, people I know from my church, including my best friends (I'm 95% sure they're republicans. I try not to talk politic with them cause it would just lead to disagreement). Many of them I believe feels the same way she does. It seems like the only ones who actually do understand are my high school friends who are much more liberal. I love her very much, but just I don't know what to do. I haven't had suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager or even feel this depressed, but this whole thing is bringing it all back in spade. Either these suicidal thoughts are going to take me over first or our relationship will end because of this.
TL;DR: The politics of this country is tearing apart my relationship, its effecting my health and I'm honestly at the end of my rope.
I know there are those who are in similar situations as I am as well. I guess that give me some comfort knowing I'm not alone. I'm really, really sorry for the rant. I've been holding this in for weeks and it's killing me inside.
