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[weemadarthur]

The brownies left it for you, in the hopes that you would come over and clean up their place for once.

 

[Gigarator]

- Whoever it was was thoughtful enough to leave whole AND skim milk.

Skimmed milk has a red top, not green! There are inconsistencies in your story OP, I'm now suspicious about the validity of this whole affair.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Don't drink it...

 

[Marky Mark]

Drink it.

Similarly, once I received mystery fudge in the mail. Had a package with no return address, opened it up to find a nice looking sealed jar of what looked like hot chocolate fudge. I tried really hard to figure out if I had requested that someone send me fudge, and while it kinda/sorta rang a bell, I couldn't place it at all.

Ended up putting the fudge in the cupboard for like 2 years before my wife threw it away cleaning. I don't blame her, I used to tell her I was going to eat the mystery fudge as a threat, sort of like a kid holding his breath when he didn't get what he wanted.

I love it.

Also the milk sign is fantastic.

 

[H.Protagonist]

And then there were 4...more.

Welp. Guess the sign didn't work.

 

[SuperSah]

this must be a joke at this point

 

[HoodWinked]

this upsets me cause i hate waste but i'm aint gonna risk my life for a couple bucks of milk either.

when i have to toss food makes me think of this PSA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WREXBUZBrS8

 

[televator]

I'd dump it. Even if someone gave it to me in person. If I don't know them then I don't trust their random milk.

 

[chicko1983]

Make some milk steak:

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Milk-Steak-With-Jelly-Beans

But if the sign didnt work, its some kind of "practical joke". Maybe waiting for a reaction. I would leave the milk in place, and let it pile up. That will hopefully make them stop.

 

[echoshifting]

And then there were 4...more.



Welp. Guess the sign didn't work.

I find this highly amoosing

 

[Beren the Empty-Handed]

They're breeding.

 

[How About No]

Oh god they're multiplying

 

[sammex]

Donate it to local neighbourhood cats.

 

[Chuckie]

You suspect the wife, eh?

I for one do!

I also think she is hiding her tracks by posting on GAF and pretending to not know where the milk comes from.

 

[H.Protagonist]

this must be a joke at this point

I'm totally lost myself. After the first 4 (two more came a few weeks after the initial 2, so I called the local delivery service and let them know and they said they'd check) I just let the second set sit in the front and they disappeared and were replaced with these...

this upsets me cause i hate waste but i'm aint gonna risk my life for a couple bucks of milk either.

It's killing me too. I hate seeing things go to waste. Dumping out the first set made me feel so bad. :/

I'd dump it. Even if someone gave it to me in person. If I don't know them then I don't trust their random milk.

I dumped the first set, let the second set languish, and now there are four more.

Make some milk steak:

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Milk-Steak-With-Jelly-Beans

But if the sign didnt work, its some kind of "practical joke". Maybe waiting for a reaction. I would leave the milk in place, and let it pile up. That will hopefully make them stop.

It's got to be some kind of administrative mix-up, right? No joke would go on this long with such lag. And leaving the second set didn't seem to deter them. I guess I call again? Maybe I should ring the dairy itself...?

 

[NotMyUsername]

I'd take the milk in and use it if this happened to me.

A couple years back I went out in the morning to my car parked on the street to find a bagged pastry tucked under my windshield wiper. The bakery was a nicer one just down the street so I ended up eating the pastry. Everyone at work thought I was insane for doing so. I called the shop to verify if they were doing some sort of marketing. They also thought I was insane.

Free pastry! It was damned good. Still no idea who put it there or why. I have to imagine it was a case of mistaken identity and it was meant to go on someone else's car and they were told to expect the surprise.

 

[Mortemis]

Pour the milk in a bag and leave it out.

Next time the anonymous milkman shows up they'll be like "milk in a bag? How outrageous!". Add a "leave a tip under the rug" sign to further make sure they never bother again.

That'll teach 'em.

 

[Beren the Empty-Handed]

What if you made a milk carton scarecrow? Or shoved the heads of the milk cartons on spikes and put them around your front door as a warning to other milk cartons?

 

[chicko1983]

It's got to be some kind of administrative mix-up, right? No joke would go on this long with such lag. And leaving the second set didn't seem to deter them. I guess I call again? Maybe I should ring the dairy itself...?

Honestly, I dont know how delivered milk works in the UK. Id say it would have been delivered by a nearby shop? Any supermarkets or convenience stores nearby? I would check with them.

But if anyone delivering the milk saw the other four there, then they would surely question the address and that could resolve any admin error.

And if you are serious, I would change the sign to: "I have not ordered any milk". Which couldnt be any clearer to the deliveryman.

 

[Solaire of Astora]

Do you have any friends who are practical jokers?

I once anonymously sent a friend exactly 29 toothbrushes in a box with a piece of paper with nothing but the word "Congratulations" printed on it.

The supermarket near my house was closing and they had a bunch of items on clearance. I saw a massive pile of no-brand toothbrushes selling for 4p each. It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

I removed all the toothbrushes from their boxes, stuck them in a bigger box, printed out the note and sent the lot to my friend. I let a few other friends in on the surprise, but said absolutely nothing to the friend I played the joke on. A few weeks later, while at the driving range with him and some of the friends who were in on the joke, he told us about it. We all burst out laughing. The "victim" of my prank started laughing with us, but he never seemed to come to the conclusion that one of us was the culprit.

Anyway... Maybe you have a friend with a silly sense of humour and too much time on their hands?

 

[nekkid]

Milk is one of the few things where you can't say "free X > no X"

 

[Owari]

It's probably roach milk or something.

 

[televator]

It's probably roach milk or something.

Or...

 

[Owari]

Or...

Sounds like it would go great with my routine bowl of Chex.

 

[LeroyPantwether]

I honestly don't know how one could resist drinking that milk. I'd have to know if it was poison or whatever.

#teamtryit

 

[miller.skippins]

This is part of CIA's MK Ultra.

 

[Dishwalla]

Throw it off an overpass. Bonus points if you hit a milk truck.

 

[H.Protagonist]

I find this highly amoosing

-_-

Donate it to local neighbourhood cats.

Aside from the fact that it's probably laced with deadly poison, I thought you weren't supposed to give cats milk?

I for one do!

I also think she is hiding her tracks by posting on GAF and pretending to not know where the milk comes from.

She's a devious one for sure.

I'd take the milk in and use it if this happened to me.

A couple years back I went out in the morning to my car parked on the street to find a bagged pastry tucked under my windshield wiper. The bakery was a nicer one just down the street so I ended up eating the pastry. Everyone at work thought I was insane for doing so. I called the shop to verify if they were doing some sort of marketing. They also thought I was insane.

Free pastry! It was damned good. Still no idea who put it there or why. I have to imagine it was a case of mistaken identity and it was meant to go on someone else's car and they were told to expect the surprise.

You went one step further than The Albatross. I'm impressed that you're still breathing.

Pour the milk in a bag and leave it out.

Next time the anonymous milkman shows up they'll be like "milk in a bag? How outrageous!". Add a "leave a tip under the rug" sign to further make sure they never bother again.

That'll teach 'em.

Since the sign didn't work, I may have to escalate things.

What if you made a milk carton scarecrow? Or shoved the heads of the milk cartons on spikes and put them around your front door as a warning to other milk cartons?

This is a fair idea. I'll consider it.

Honestly, I dont know how delivered milk works in the UK. Id say it would have been delivered by a nearby shop? Any supermarkets or convenience stores nearby? I would check with them.

But if anyone delivering the milk saw the other four there, then they would surely question the address and that could resolve any admin error.

And if you are serious, I would change the sign to: "I have not ordered any milk". Which couldnt be any clearer to the deliveryman.

There's a local milkman, but he delivers glass bottles. I tried ringing them anyway, but alas. And surely, as you said, leaving out the old milk would have suggested something to the delivery man...

Do you have any friends who are practical jokers?

I once anonymously sent a friend exactly 29 toothbrushes in a box with a piece of paper with nothing but the word "Congratulations" printed on it.

The supermarket near my house was closing and they had a bunch of items on clearance. I saw a massive pile of no-brand toothbrushes selling for 4p each. It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

I removed all the toothbrushes from their boxes, stuck them in a bigger box, printed out the note and sent the lot to my friend. I let a few other friends in on the surprise, but said absolutely nothing to the friend I played the joke on. A few weeks later, while at the driving range with him and some of the friends who were in on the joke, he told us about it. We all burst out laughing. The "victim" of my prank started laughing with us, but he never seemed to come to the conclusion that one of us was the culprit.

Anyway... Maybe you have a friend with a silly sense of humour and too much time on their hands?

That's a pretty good joke. I like the mystery behind what kind of congrats a handful of toothbrushes would imply. But, I'm semi-new here in England, so I don't know anyone well enough that they'd pull a joke on me. Unless it's that guy who called me 'milady' twice. Hmmm...

 

[H.Protagonist]

I honestly don't know how one could resist drinking that milk. I'd have to know if it was poison or whatever.

#teamtryit

Maybe I should ask a mod to throw a poll up for this.

This is part of CIA's MK Ultra.

Hmm? Sounds sinister, whatever it it.

Throw it off an overpass. Bonus points if you hit a milk truck.

The only nearby overpass is for the trains. Boy, wouldn't they be surprised.

 

[TheChaos0]

Yes, this thread is literally about a random appearance of milk.



Some mysterious dairy gifter left these two jugs outside my door sometime this morning before 6AM. As you can see, they are store-type jugs of milk, so unless the milkman abandoned his glassware and made a mistake, this was no innocent delivery mix-up. Neither neighbor made claim to them, either, so now I'm stuck with them. Is this some kind of strange English custom, an assassination attempt, or is someone strongly hinting that I should make cheese?

Theories and/or suggestions on what I should do with this offering would be most welcome.


- They do not appear to be tampered with.
- They are not out of date.
- Whoever it was was thoughtful enough to leave whole AND skim milk.

I've got to say that's the most English fence and patio right there. I saw the patio, yep that England alright. Didn't realised you were in the UK, I thought you lived in the US, it confused me for a second.

Funny thing is, I have the exact opposite problem, the milk occasionally disappears. Maybe this is where it goes...

I'm not surprised about the sign, no one reads the signs, unless they include word Queue.

 

[Charles Brandon]

MY *fucking* MILK WAS STOLEN FROM MY DOORSTEP YESTERDAY

glass bottles too. Three of them.

Cunts.

 

[Premium Quality]

Drink it. What's the worst that could happen?

 

[soundscream]

You have a secret admirer.

Milk is the new crown of sonnets.

 

[-Deimos]

Time to install some cameras. I need to know who's behind this.

 

[Tugatrix]

Happy Valentines I guess

 

[bobs...onGaf]

I'd take the milk in and use it if this happened to me.

A couple years back I went out in the morning to my car parked on the street to find a bagged pastry tucked under my windshield wiper. The bakery was a nicer one just down the street so I ended up eating the pastry. Everyone at work thought I was insane for doing so. I called the shop to verify if they were doing some sort of marketing. They also thought I was insane.

Free pastry! It was damned good. Still no idea who put it there or why. I have to imagine it was a case of mistaken identity and it was meant to go on someone else's car and they were told to expect the surprise.

It could just as easily been that a kid licked it and or dropped it on the floor then decided they didn't want it and dumped it on your car

Mystery items of food just shouldn't be eaten

 

[Solaire of Astora]

And surely, as you said, leaving out the old milk would have suggested something to the delivery man.

..

You might be giving random strangers too much credit.

http://youtu.be/GtkNLtwnGfI

That's a pretty good joke. I like the mystery behind what kind of congrats a handful of toothbrushes would imply. But, I'm semi-new here in England, so I don't know anyone well enough that they'd pull a joke on me. Unless it's that guy who called me 'milady' twice. Hmmm...

Sadly, other than that one time at a driving range, he never brought it up in front of me again. He's the kind of person who ponders over the most random things, so I was hoping he'd randomly bring it up from time to time.

Then again, this happened about ten years ago, and I've been out of the country for the last six.

 

[GKSilKamina]

So if you got two milk jugs the last time, and now a set of four, does this mean your next mysterious milk encounter will feature eight? Just how much will the milk multiply before the madness ends?

 

[Wood Man]

This is your super power origin story.

 

[Pila]

Milk sucks.

Sorry to hear people are leaving trash at your door OP, pretty lame.

 

[Clydefrog]

And then there were 4...more.



Welp. Guess the sign didn't work.

omg

or it's a bizarro monty python sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiVGSaYXpqo

 

[milkham]

I'm sorry

 

[NotMyUsername]

It could just as easily been that a kid licked it and or dropped it on the floor then decided they didn't want it and dumped it on your car

Mystery items of food just shouldn't be eaten

With the way the package was neatly folded over and tucked under my windshield I'm still leaning more towards it was intentionally left as a gift but my car was simply the wrong one. Probably someone that texted a neighbor with, "I left the pastry at your car, go get it" but it was on the wrong car. Except mine was often one of the only ones parked on the street.

I've eaten worse things.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Maybe some homeless person sleeps there and is storing their milk there and you are stealing their milk.

 

[akira28]

leave a note that you're allergic to milk. like deathly allergic.

 

[bobs...onGaf]

With the way the package was neatly folded over and tucked under my windshield I'm still leaning more towards it was intentionally left as a gift but my car was simply the wrong one. Probably someone that texted a neighbor with, "I left the pastry at your car, go get it" but it was on the wrong car. Except mine was often one of the only ones parked on the street.

I've eaten worse things.

Man I just wouldn't risk it - it wouldn't surprise me at all if a kid did something horrific to it then tried to make it look as neat as possible to get a kick out of knowing a stranger ate it

That's just as likely than someone leaving it as a gift but getting the car wrong

If you want to play roulette that's all good, ultimately we can eat some pretty nasty stuff and be fine but considering OP can easily afford his own milk and you can easily afford a pastry it just doesn't seem worth it

 

[Violet_0]

it's possible that you may have offended someone working in the milk industry, and this is to be interpreted as a thinly-veiled threat

 

[kurahador]

Must be Senran Kagura fans.

 

[Prelude]

leave a note that you're allergic to milk. like deathly allergic.

And the next day...............10 bottles

 

[Transhuman]

Damn protag you get the weirdest admirers.