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Depression

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J2d

Member
What's depression age's experience on shutting yourself out from most of your connections and just exercising to be physically healthy and strive toward some higher goal (be it a better job, art or just plain higher education)? Most of the time I feel like cutting people off but I have a hard time to invest the hard time to elevate myself in my career.
 

jb1234

Member
What's depression age's experience on shutting yourself out from most of your connections and just exercising to be physically healthy and strive toward some higher goal (be it a better job, art or just plain higher education)? Most of the time I feel like cutting people off but I have a hard time to invest the hard time to elevate myself in my career.

I don't quite understand the question. I consider the relationships in my life to be significantly more important than anything else.
 

GlassBox

Banned
Friday and weekend nights I'm stuck at home doing nothing. I used to go out, but I can't stand alcohol (it also is a medical condition where it mixes badly with the medications I take for depression/anxiety) so there's no point going to a bar. And even when I did go out in the past, nothing ever really happened (maybe I'd exchange a few words with some regular faces, but nothing ever came of it). So I'm stuck with zero social life (no friends, etc.) and I'm at a pretty old age as well (never having much of a social life when I was younger either).

Being unemployed isn't making it any easier.
 
What's depression age's experience on shutting yourself out from most of your connections and just exercising to be physically healthy and strive toward some higher goal (be it a better job, art or just plain higher education)? Most of the time I feel like cutting people off but I have a hard time to invest the hard time to elevate myself in my career.

I live at home and am doing this now. The time spent improving myself and skillset, playing games and surfing GAF, and spending time with my lovely family has been fantastic, especially compared to yet another empty night out drinking in a dingy club somewhere. I am truly beginning to realise that you cannot force yourself to like something or be someone you aren't. But that's just my perspective - I dislike the idea of being a "recluse", but it seems like the best option for now at least.
 

GlassBox

Banned
I am truly beginning to realise that you cannot force yourself to like something or be someone you aren't. But that's just my perspective - I dislike the idea of being a "recluse", but it seems like the best option for now at least.
Echoing this, because it's definitely one of the things I've struggled with a ton. Even when I "force myself" to go out and try to "fit in" with the social crowds, for some reason it just doesn't feel right, or I start feeling ill on the inside (could be anxiety/panic causing that though). It does suck to think that being a "recluse" is all I can be, especially when you go without social contact for a long period of time, but that's how things have always turned out.
 
Echoing this, because it's definitely one of the things I've struggled with a ton. Even when I "force myself" to go out and try to "fit in" with the social crowds, for some reason it just doesn't feel right, or I start feeling ill on the inside (could be anxiety/panic causing that though). It does suck to think that being a "recluse" is all I can be, especially when you go without social contact for a long period of time, but that's how things have always turned out.

My experiences with going out sound similar to yours. After forcing myself and forcing myself, it culminated last week with what I suppose can be described as a breakdown. I feel much better now just with the notion that I have actively decided to withdraw from that life, and will not have to face it for the foreseeable future. It feels a like a weight off my shoulders.

I think we differ in a few areas however. One reason why I feel relatively comfortable with doing this is because I did this after high school for a year, and when I saw my "friends" again for the first time it was almost like starting fresh. I am hoping that in combination with improving myself and actually achieving things that will be worth talking about, i'll be able to create something really worthwhile in the social arena when I return (it's almost like when Batman got broken and trained himself up to mount a comeback). A large part of my depression and anxiety can be attributed to low self worth and image, so if I can feel good about those then I might even end up "cured". Fingers crossed.

I feel fortunate that I have at least some friends left. It sounds rough for you if you really do have no one. I suggest trying to rekindle your family life as this has helped me a lot, and I actually appreciate them more than ever now. I'd rather spend my life with them than struggle with the outside world. As for meeting new people... message me if you find a solution to that because not a whole lot of advice works for me lol.
 

GlassBox

Banned
My experiences with going out sound similar to yours. After forcing myself and forcing myself, it culminated last week with what I suppose can be described as a breakdown. I feel much better now just with the notion that I have actively decided to withdraw from that life, and will not have to face it for the foreseeable future. It feels a like a weight off my shoulders.

...

I feel fortunate that I have at least some friends left. It sounds rough for you if you really do have no one. I suggest trying to rekindle your family life as this has helped me a lot, and I actually appreciate them more than ever now. I'd rather spend my life with them than struggle with the outside world. As for meeting new people... message me if you find a solution to that because not a whole lot of advice works for me lol.
I think I've experienced one of those breakdowns before. It's not fun, especially if it is something like a panic attack, since those make you feel like you're about to die (I called the ambulance the first time I ever had one since I thought I was having a heart attack). I've actually been prescribed Ativan for such occasions, though, I've somehow avoided needing it.

Yeah, never having had any friends makes me feel like I've missed out on a lot, it doesn't help that the view is reinforced by almost all forms of media (TV, Movies, even Books that talk about the wonder of friends and relationships) which leaves me even more depressed.

I do have my parents, but I often wonder if I'm too close to them (not having really ever been separated from them) for my own good.
Do any of you guys feel lonely all the time yet simultaneously have absolutely no desire to get to know people?
There has been this too. For me, a part of it is that I've never enjoyed "conversation", and I am a very poor conversationalist. So, for the most part, I haven't been able to "connect" with others through speaking to them, that's why it often feels like empty and shallow words. I'm not sure what the "connection" is supposed to be either. I sure haven't figured that one out.
 
You all sound shockingly similar to myself. Shame we're spread out all over the planet, would probably be cool to share a pint with people who have similar background and experiences in life.
 
I am hoping somebody here will be able to help me.

I am currently seeing someone who is on anti-depression meds. They are citalopram, trazodone, clonazepam and abilify. We have been having problems lately and are trying to work through them. However, I don't know anything about depression and how these drugs effect her. I am also super worried that they will cause major birth defects if we decide to have a baby down the road. She is willing and wants to get off them before conception, but I have read that they stay in your system for a while and some people really struggle to get off one, let alone four. I want to be fair to her and not force her off the meds if she needs them. If I'm being a piece of shit, let me know. However I also don't want to worry about the future and all the medical trouble it could bring. I don't even know where to begin looking for an informed opinion on this stuff. Looking around the web has produced some scary studies and impending legal cases about all the health problems they cause.
 

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
I was hoping somebody here would be able to help me.

I am currently seeing someone who is on anti-depression meds. They are citalopram, trazodone, clonazepam and abilify. We have been having problems lately and are trying to work through them. However, I don't know anything about depression and how these drugs effect her. I am also super worried that they will cause major birth defects if we decide to have a baby down the road. She is willing and wants to get off them before conception, but I have read that they stay in your system for a while and some people really struggle to get off one, let alone four. I want to be fair to her and not force her off the meds if she needs them. If I'm being a piece of shit, let me know. However I also don't want to worry about the future and all the medical trouble it could bring. I don't even know where to begin looking for an informed opinion on this stuff. Looking around the web has produced some scary studies and impending legal cases about all the health problems they cause.

Go to a fertility clinic and get an informed opinion there, that's probably the best option you have, over getting advice from anyone on the internet. Alternatively, if that's not an option, a pharmacist should be able to help you too, I think. They're supposed to know most about their drugs.
 

jb1234

Member
I am hoping somebody here will be able to help me.

I am currently seeing someone who is on anti-depression meds. They are citalopram, trazodone, clonazepam and abilify. We have been having problems lately and are trying to work through them. However, I don't know anything about depression and how these drugs effect her. I am also super worried that they will cause major birth defects if we decide to have a baby down the road. She is willing and wants to get off them before conception, but I have read that they stay in your system for a while and some people really struggle to get off one, let alone four. I want to be fair to her and not force her off the meds if she needs them. If I'm being a piece of shit, let me know. However I also don't want to worry about the future and all the medical trouble it could bring. I don't even know where to begin looking for an informed opinion on this stuff. Looking around the web has produced some scary studies and impending legal cases about all the health problems they cause.

I think your worries are valid. I'd also be concerned about how those drugs interact with each other. It's one thing to be on one antidepressant, much less three here (and a benzo). Of course, I'm not a doctor and I don't know what she's been diagnosed with.
 
Yes, they may cause birth problems (particularly the benzo). But a pregnant woman who's gone off her meds and is now extremely depressed may also cause problems for her child. Deciding which route to take is something your doctors will need to individualize for you, so speak to them. Your partner should speak to her psychiatrist or family doctor as they will understand her disease and unique physiology better than any internet stranger can.

In any case, this is a bridge you can cross when you get to it. Focus on the immediate problems of the relationship. You may not be able to overcome your current problems, and you may not want to have children with someone who, based on that list of drugs, may have treatment-resistant depression and anxiety issues.
 
Thanks for the advice so far. I am currently trying to get in contact with somebody who works at a really good hospital and hope they can give me a better picture of what to expect.

Our current problems have been dealt with and all that's left is this drug issue. However it's a huge one and it needs to be figured out soon. It's not fair to string her along if I know I won't be able to deal with this in the future. We love each other, but I have so much pressure coming at me from family and friends about this that it's destroying me. I am very close to losing relationships because of it. If I don't handle this correctly, I could end up losing pretty much everybody I care about. My F&F think I'm being blind and setting myself up for a very difficult, painful and sad future.

On top of that, this girl deserves happiness and she deserves to be with somebody who fully accepts all of this and I'm not sure if that's me just yet. I want it to be, but I won't lie to her. That's why I need to know more about this stuff.
 

Windam

Scaley member
I've just been feeling super numb lately. Going back into a state of not caring about anyone or anything.

I went and talked to my school counselor.

My friend made me go.

She says that she can help me figure out how to talk to my mom about getting help and help find a therapist or whatever.

Sighs.

You'll be okay. You can still PM me whenever.

Do any of you guys feel lonely all the time yet simultaneously have absolutely no desire to get to know people?

All the time. All the fucking time.
 

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
I went to my first actual party tonight. Don't ask me how it was my first at at the ripe old age of 31, but it was. I tried not to be a wallflower and hung out 'around' people, but I still felt like I might as well not have been there. Couldn't really join into any conversations, and my interactions with other people were boring at best, awkward at worst. I just didn't fit in or belong and I never do in social situations. So I left at 3:30am feeling like shit about myself and wishing I were dead. Is that a normal way to feel after leaving party? Somehow I doubt it... I keep telling myself I should get therapy and try anti-depressants but I don't see how that would fix me. I'm fundamentally broken, socially inept and unable to connect with people because I've gone my entire teenage and young adult life without doing any of these kinds of things. I don't think I'm being irrational when I feel like my prospects at a social life and friends and relationships are utterly hopeless. If I didn't have a family that would be upset about it I may just consider ending my life. The pain from this kind of hopelessness day in day out, year in year out, is crushing.
 

jb1234

Member
I went to my first actual party tonight. Don't ask me how it was my first at at the ripe old age of 31, but it was. I tried not to be a wallflower and hung out 'around' people, but I still felt like I might as well not have been there. Couldn't really join into any conversations, and my interactions with other people were boring at best, awkward at worst. I just didn't fit in or belong and I never do in social situations. So I left at 3:30am feeling like shit about myself and wishing I were dead. Is that a normal way to feel after leaving party? Somehow I doubt it... I keep telling myself I should get therapy and try anti-depressants but I don't see how that would fix me. I'm fundamentally broken, socially inept and unable to connect with people because I've gone my entire teenage and young adult life without doing any of these kinds of things. I don't think I'm being irrational when I feel like my prospects at a social life and friends and relationships are utterly hopeless. If I didn't have a family that would be upset about it I may just consider ending my life. The pain from this kind of hopelessness day in day out, year in year out, is crushing.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being the kind of person who doesn't enjoy parties like that. I can't stand them, because I usually don't know anyone and I have nothing in common with them anyway.

Talk therapy is worth trying. It really is. (Keep in mind I say this even while I dodge it myself.)
 

Feep

Banned
I went to my first actual party tonight. Don't ask me how it was my first at at the ripe old age of 31, but it was. I tried not to be a wallflower and hung out 'around' people, but I still felt like I might as well not have been there. Couldn't really join into any conversations, and my interactions with other people were boring at best, awkward at worst. I just didn't fit in or belong and I never do in social situations. So I left at 3:30am feeling like shit about myself and wishing I were dead. Is that a normal way to feel after leaving party? Somehow I doubt it... I keep telling myself I should get therapy and try anti-depressants but I don't see how that would fix me. I'm fundamentally broken, socially inept and unable to connect with people because I've gone my entire teenage and young adult life without doing any of these kinds of things. I don't think I'm being irrational when I feel like my prospects at a social life and friends and relationships are utterly hopeless. If I didn't have a family that would be upset about it I may just consider ending my life. The pain from this kind of hopelessness day in day out, year in year out, is crushing.
Very few people are just automatically good at social interaction. It takes years of practice and growing comfortable in certain situations, so obviously anyone inexperienced in a party atmosphere is going to be nervous and awkward.

While you'd certainly get better with time, it may not be worth the aggravation and alienation to put in the effort...those types of things are hardly the only available option for social interaction. However, social contact *is* good, and stepping outside of your comfort zone is almost always a good idea.

Examine alternate ways to achieve social interaction, and if they seem more appealing to you, go for it. If not, however, you might want to consider heading to another two or three parties, just to see if you get better. Hell, maybe the party just sucked. A lot of 'em do.
 
I went to my first actual party tonight. Don't ask me how it was my first at at the ripe old age of 31, but it was. I tried not to be a wallflower and hung out 'around' people, but I still felt like I might as well not have been there. Couldn't really join into any conversations, and my interactions with other people were boring at best, awkward at worst. I just didn't fit in or belong and I never do in social situations. So I left at 3:30am feeling like shit about myself and wishing I were dead. Is that a normal way to feel after leaving party? Somehow I doubt it... I keep telling myself I should get therapy and try anti-depressants but I don't see how that would fix me. I'm fundamentally broken, socially inept and unable to connect with people because I've gone my entire teenage and young adult life without doing any of these kinds of things. I don't think I'm being irrational when I feel like my prospects at a social life and friends and relationships are utterly hopeless. If I didn't have a family that would be upset about it I may just consider ending my life. The pain from this kind of hopelessness day in day out, year in year out, is crushing.

I could have written this post.

I feel that I may as well forget the possibility of ever having a girlfriend, or even connecting with anyone on any deep or meaningful level.

When I am with people I pretty much feel like an alien trying to fit in. I also don't have the tools or experience to draw from, and I really do think these are something I should have picked up years ago.

I wish I had a solution.
 
For those with ears to hear, and all others who will, eventually - (channeled for you all, I am a medium) Unedited :

You are on the wrong track, and yes I speak to you, reading this, to set you right. You cannot measure energy with a ruler, as you would say, a table. And thus you are looking at your life issues with a yardstick. Medication, therapy, peers, and especially those you have attracted, information attracted, all fitting in neatly with your thoughts.

Now, open your mind and read the following :

You came into this world with a theme. And all of your experience will seemingly cooborate, even as the opposite information is available, you will only file what fits. For example, when you are born, a gun is shot. The bullit will fire straight throughout your life, it has a set course, you cannot change the trajectory, even in suicide, but what you can change thusly overcoming, is your perception and beliefs. Those occuring as the bullit passes through time on its path.

It is true that you create your future with your current thoughts, and that includes sojourns as well. If you should die tomorrow, the future will pick up where you left off, and yes, in another life. You are working things out, you see. So your next life will be set as the theme, and the gun will fire, and you will again blame this and that, until...you set your mind aright.

I am telling you, you create your life, this one and the next, and it will never end. You create, period.

The theme feels badly, so you can learn to feel, and give validity to you, and who you are. Most of you feel your validity stripped, you will learn nothing has power over you.

It is better, in the position you all are now, to practice a game, every day, and say if it doesnt work, well, hell, I gave it a try, its just a game.

For 15 minutes daily, close your eyes and picture the life you want to lead, more money, friends, relationships, qualities you wish to posess, and for this time, live it out. Just as vividly as you would do pictureing your current conditions, and living those out.

Lastly, you are meant to learn to think aright, and to create your life, live it, and feel good doing it. All opposition is set before you to teach you through it, including the parents chosen, the people in your life, everything.

In your current thinking you draw to you the experience you think about, and thus the physical world lines up with your intent. You only need to play a different game, to line it up differently, so to speak.

Best wishes for a prosperous future.
 

mooooose

Member
Just wanted to say, you can beat depression. I am still battling it but I am definitely winning the fight and am much happier. When you realize how unimportant basically every thing is in life, and you live to enjoy it, it becomes much more enjoyable. Just be a kind and honest person, be funny, and make the most out of everything. Nothing is important because none of it really matters, but that is okay if you look at it the right way.
 

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
Very few people are just automatically good at social interaction. It takes years of practice and growing comfortable in certain situations, so obviously anyone inexperienced in a party atmosphere is going to be nervous and awkward.

While you'd certainly get better with time, it may not be worth the aggravation and alienation to put in the effort...those types of things are hardly the only available option for social interaction. However, social contact *is* good, and stepping outside of your comfort zone is almost always a good idea.

Examine alternate ways to achieve social interaction, and if they seem more appealing to you, go for it. If not, however, you might want to consider heading to another two or three parties, just to see if you get better. Hell, maybe the party just sucked. A lot of 'em do.

This is the first party I've been to but my experience was nothing new. I don't fit in with groups of people and I never, ever have. The only thing worse is one-on-one with someone I don't know (I can forget about ever starting to date girls, or should I say women now). At least when there are other people it takes the conversational burden off of me. I used to think that I didn't have a social life because I was just really shy and quiet. I spent all of college convincing myself of that. But throughout my 20s I realized the truth- I just have too much missing in me and in my life experience to be able to connect with people. And that's really how I feel in these situations, that there is something missing deep at my core, and nothing short of going back in time to when I was 15 will fix it.

I'm going to spend the rest of my day off by myself watching tv shows and probably going to a cafe to read a little. I'm sure this will pretty much be the rest of my life.
 

GlassBox

Banned
I went to my first actual party tonight. Don't ask me how it was my first at at the ripe old age of 31, but it was. I tried not to be a wallflower and hung out 'around' people, but I still felt like I might as well not have been there. Couldn't really join into any conversations, and my interactions with other people were boring at best, awkward at worst. I just didn't fit in or belong and I never do in social situations. So I left at 3:30am feeling like shit about myself and wishing I were dead. Is that a normal way to feel after leaving party? Somehow I doubt it... I keep telling myself I should get therapy and try anti-depressants but I don't see how that would fix me. I'm fundamentally broken, socially inept and unable to connect with people because I've gone my entire teenage and young adult life without doing any of these kinds of things. I don't think I'm being irrational when I feel like my prospects at a social life and friends and relationships are utterly hopeless. If I didn't have a family that would be upset about it I may just consider ending my life. The pain from this kind of hopelessness day in day out, year in year out, is crushing.
Wow, this is me as well, and near the same age too. Though it has been a long long time since I've been to a "party", but I've felt the same way typically after a night attempting to go out to a bar and be social. Interactions and conversations are usually brief or awkward, lots of time spent alone looking at the rest of the room, trying to figure out where I can go, observing everyone else seemingly having a great time and wondering why I can't be like them.

Then going home with the realization that all I've gotten for my troubles is a headache and a ton more depression (which was even worse whenever I tried to drink alcohol, which is why I've had to stop, even without the medications this was always the outcome, but now it's just medically unsound).
Just be a kind and honest person, be funny, and make the most out of everything.
Yeah, I get this from my therapist a lot, and though I'm an extremely modest individual, I have no qualms saying that kindness and honesty are two core traits of mine. That said, people aren't attracted to kindness and honesty, at least, they don't help when trying to attract others to you at the outset.
 

J2d

Member
I don't quite understand the question. I consider the relationships in my life to be significantly more important than anything else.
Lately I feel like I'm unable to make my relationships work, my constant failures takes a toll and I'm starting to think that I should focus on something else and maybe leave the social stuff for when I might be feeling better. I'm not gonna shut myself off completely from the world or anything but merely focus on things I feel would make me a happier person.

I live at home and am doing this now. The time spent improving myself and skillset, playing games and surfing GAF, and spending time with my lovely family has been fantastic, especially compared to yet another empty night out drinking in a dingy club somewhere. I am truly beginning to realise that you cannot force yourself to like something or be someone you aren't. But that's just my perspective - I dislike the idea of being a "recluse", but it seems like the best option for now at least.
Thanks for sharing your experience, I think this is what I should do for now.
 
I was also depressed during high school and throughout my time at community college. I felt stupid, I felt retarded, I felt something was holding me back. I saw girls getting high grades in chemistry in high school, yet I failed, I kept questioning myself and my poor grades kept reinforcing that I was stupid. This continued for a long time but slowly, by working hard I discovered I wasn't a retard and my brain wasn't damaged.

In my case it was a combination of eating white wheat foods (mainly white bread, which did not suit me at all), not exercising and getting into a bad environment. In high school only one teacher saw some potential in me. During class, I used to get this "brain fog", it felt like my brain was damaged, I couldn't understand anything and my anxiety and depression was so high. I went to the doctor but my condition was not diagnosed.

Anyway it was when I ditched white bread and started exercising (both things happened around the same time) that my life improved. I kept thinking about math (I had regrets over not completing the university math and science courses in high school). So in October 2011 I signed up for grade 11 advance math, it took me a year but I passed grade 10, grade 11, grade 12 advance functions and calculus with an average of 85%. I feel much more confident now and I know my brain isn't damaged or anything....

Eating refined white bread hurt me a lot....the brain fog is gone, the depression is gone and but the anxiety is still there...I think I can beat it by forcing myself into social situations. My next goal is to get a retail job so I can defeat this anxiety for good.

edit: Just for elaborate a little: I took grade 11 tech math (community college math in Canada) in high school and my mark in the course was 25%, I never understood what was going on in class, and I also skipped a lot. And my mark in grade 10 tech math was 46% (i failed the exam).

Moral of the story is, don't give up!! Read books, research on the net, talk to people, analyze your history, see what is making you depressed and take action. I read books, I researched, I gave my religion and started eating meat....I had to pick myself up and carry on and today I am doing a lot better than I was ever before!!
 
Man these last 2 weeks have been eating me up and spitting me out over and over again. The main thing I miss is having someone to talk to, even about stupid stuff or to send stuff that I found around the web. I've been feeling so anxious lately that just walking around the house makes me feel twitchy and weird, especially in the mornings. It's all about school and making my parents happy which is mostly just getting good grades. Bah I hate school.
 

Collete

Member
On a side note, I'm going to a convention this weekend which by and large, I didn't want to go.
Mainly because depression kept making me think it's pointless, but it's something I used to really enjoy.
Feel a bit proud that I'm actually going and possibly enjoying myself.

Just an update on this, I did end up going to the convention.
However there was an annoying event that happened, which I won't go into.
Suffice to say, I didn't want to let it get in the way of my happiness so I continued my time at the convention and tried to enjoy it as much as I could.

Though I think the annoying event made me depressed afterwards and I got annoyed over various people including myself.
Although I am better and recovering from it.
It was just a long but still enjoyable day.

Man these last 2 weeks have been eating me up and spitting me out over and over again. The main thing I miss is having someone to talk to, even about stupid stuff or to send stuff that I found around the web. I've been feeling so anxious lately that just walking around the house makes me feel twitchy and weird, especially in the mornings. It's all about school and making my parents happy which is mostly just getting good grades. Bah I hate school.
It's not much, but you're free to PM me to talk.
And I know where you're coming from about making parents happy, it's like they want the achievement more than you to show off to all to their friends (or at least it was like that for my situation.)
 

Az987

all good things
So I saw something about researchers finding great results using Ketamine to treat major depression and bipolar depression and a little digging shows me they're doing clinical trials in my state.

I struggle with bipolar depression daily and its getting worse and worse... I'm thinking about contacting them. Has anyone ever done a clinical trial?
 

Feep

Banned
This is the first party I've been to but my experience was nothing new. I don't fit in with groups of people and I never, ever have. The only thing worse is one-on-one with someone I don't know (I can forget about ever starting to date girls, or should I say women now). At least when there are other people it takes the conversational burden off of me. I used to think that I didn't have a social life because I was just really shy and quiet. I spent all of college convincing myself of that. But throughout my 20s I realized the truth- I just have too much missing in me and in my life experience to be able to connect with people. And that's really how I feel in these situations, that there is something missing deep at my core, and nothing short of going back in time to when I was 15 will fix it.

I'm going to spend the rest of my day off by myself watching tv shows and probably going to a cafe to read a little. I'm sure this will pretty much be the rest of my life.
You aren't a unique, special snowflake. There are six point something billion people on this planet, so even if you're one in a million, there are over six thousand others out there just like you.

You're connecting to people just fine on an internet message board, which means the barrier isn't actually being unable to relate to people, it's social anxiety. There's nothing missing. You just need to find people with whom you're compatible, and be able to engage with them in the real world. They might be rare...and not commonly found at your average party...but they're out there. Go to meetup.com, or GAF meetups, or LAN centers, or laser tag places, or (and this is a good one) gaming/anime/comic conventions in your area.

Don't give up hope!
 
Is anyone depressed but cant really clarify why they are? My life is not perfect, but by no means is it terrible. I have an okay job, girlfriend, and good close group of friends but I always have this sense of despair. I often question the point of existing and what makes it worth it, but always come up empty handed. I don't enjoy the day to day and sometimes the only reason I feel I should go on is for other people which is depressing in itself. There was a point not too long ago where i would find myself doing extreme things simply to see if they affected me. I found they were only a hindrance but I had very little emotional feeling toward it. I just feel like regardless of my situation I will always feel the same.
 

strobogo

Banned
Is anyone depressed but cant really clarify why they are? My life is not perfect, but by no means is it terrible. I have an okay job, girlfriend, and good close group of friends but I always have this sense of despair. I often question the point of existing and what makes it worth it, but always come up empty handed. I don't enjoy the day to day and sometimes the only reason I feel I should go on is for other people which is depressing in itself. There was a point not too long ago where i would find myself doing extreme things simply to see if they affected me. I found they were only a hindrance but I had very little emotional feeling toward it. I just feel like regardless of my situation I will always feel the same.

I think that's the majority of depressed people, actually. You look and objectively see that your life isn't terrible, your childhood was fine, but you still feel hopeless and depressed all the time. I think there are way more people like that than depression caused by specific events.
 

GlassBox

Banned
Is anyone depressed but cant really clarify why they are?
Heh, no confusion here on why I'm depressed. No job, no friends (never had any kind of gf), no social life, no appreciation of my skills (if I have any), have to take medication so I don't become a complete wreck. I think that pretty much covers it.
 
May or may not be related to depression, but this is something that I noticed recently. When I look into a mirror, I naturally tense up my face a little bit so that I look more presentable to myself.

But once I realized I was doing this, I tried to keep my default facial expression while I looked in the mirror and I noticed that I look sad or depressed. I'm actually afraid that sad / depressed is my default facial expression.

I think part of the problem is a lack of sleep, but I'm also wondering what else I can do to remedy this. Smile more? I certainly don't want to look sad all the time, seeing myself like this actually does make me a little sad if this is how other people have perceived me all this time.
 
So I saw something about researchers finding great results using Ketamine to treat major depression and bipolar depression and a little digging shows me they're doing clinical trials in my state.

I struggle with bipolar depression daily and its getting worse and worse... I'm thinking about contacting them. Has anyone ever done a clinical trial?

I've used ketamine.. er.. not on a clinical trial and it doesn't seem like it would help with depression much at all. Maybe in very small doses it would..
 

Prax

Member
The banking situation is complicated.

Due to us putting it off and her not being able to take time off work, I never got added to the bank account. She is actually the one that orders the food for me. Lame, I know. Due to never getting added to the account, I never got a check card. Which means I have no funds. She had to go fax paperwork because the credit union thought bills I was paying under her name were fraudulent charges. My credit is about to take a hit because we might have lost a money order in the mail since I can't pay another bill with the checking account. Thing fuckin' sucks.

We can't get furniture because we still don't know if we're living here in the start of November. I'll get any job I interview for and we have the scratch to fly me to Knoxville, but if nobody calls me and leaves me a callback number, I can check my VM to call them to try and schedule something.

I'd leave and check out the town, but technically I live in Henderson. A 30 minute drive from the strip. So, walking's out of the question. The Wal-Mart is a 5mi walk away, just to give some perspective on the distance. Hell, I'd be down to walk to the bus to go to a casino to see a movie or to go somewhere, but I have no cash because she didn't think her work would because the mess it has forcing her to stay in the city with a friend so she can get at least 4 hours of sleep a night. My sleep schedule is fucked from my depression. I lay down and just think. And think. And think. And there's the issue with the broken air mattress.

I mean, I know it'll get better. It's just my coping mechanism has been distraction and calmly dealing with my fucked up brain. Being completely alone with nowhere to go for two+ months is seriously breaking that down. Watching all of the fitness goals I've achieved over the years slowly waste away and moving out here to be closer to here but talking less than we have in three years isn't helping.
Well, I don't know how you do banking, but with how I do it (my sibs and I split the bills and all that):
We register all our bills with online banking, and you just need to set up a security code for adding the different accounts. The accounts don't even have to be in your name for you to pay it (for example, most of the accounts we're paying bills for are in our parents' names). All you need is the account # really and there should be some kind of options to choose what company you're paying the bills to. Hopefully your banking system is at the same level as ours technology-wise so you can do that.
What helped for us was we set up a joint savings account between us so we could just transfer money over to one another's accounts whenever it's needed. But you don't need to do this if you don't have the time, since it would require to go in person and sign, I think.
Anyway, the simple solution is using your wife's account directly. Just have her bank card # and password set up so you can log in as her online and get the bills paid. I understand if you two would rather keep that information private without letting each other know, but it would make things a lot easier. You could handle the finances on your side, and she would be able to keep track of what is getting paid too. No need for going in person to the bank or sending checks and those types of shennanigans!

Also, can you guys just send e-money (Interac e-Transfers)? That's an option we have too. With online banking, we can send money to another unrelated account and give them some kind of secret password hint in the email so they can go access the money transfer. All online~! Then you could at least withdraw some cash if you needed a bus or cab ride somewhere!

Roughing it out for a couple of weeks more won't be SO so awful, but you can always also just buy some throwaway crap furniture! Like some 20-50 dollar desk and chair to sit at from wal-mart or something..

And I understand that the depression part will make you unmotivated to get a lot of these things done asap, but small steps! You're already doing a great job looking for work opportunities and stuff.

It's times like these that you need a screensaver for your brain while you're going to sleep so you don't ruminate on the things giving your anxiety or getting you down. I usually just think of a tv episode I would like to go in a different direction or something like that. Eventually it all fogs up and I slip into unconsciousness, but it's kind of pleasant feeling like I'm "working" on something (directing a show/movie/scene) despite the fact that I'm not and it's fluff entertainment before falling asleep.

I live at home and am doing this now. The time spent improving myself and skillset, playing games and surfing GAF, and spending time with my lovely family has been fantastic, especially compared to yet another empty night out drinking in a dingy club somewhere. I am truly beginning to realise that you cannot force yourself to like something or be someone you aren't. But that's just my perspective - I dislike the idea of being a "recluse", but it seems like the best option for now at least.
I feel like I need to go into "isolation mode" from time to time. I can't tell whether it's social anxiety acting up, or I'm just naturally an introvert and get too drained dealing with the general public and acquaintances over time...

But spending time with my family and surfing and doing art and just enjoying myself without the social pressure to "engage" with people I don't really have interest in feels pretty good! And then after a while of "centering myself", I feel like I can go out there and deal with the world again.

Do any of you guys feel lonely all the time yet simultaneously have absolutely no desire to get to know people?
Maybe you just haven't met the right kind of interesting people? And maybe social anxiety is also getting in the way.
I don't get to feeling lonely much since I'm surrounded by family, but I do have a tendency to avoid "making friends" because of the level of effort/energy required to do so. Right now, responding to internet posts is the level of energy I can commit to--but not even regularly. It's a step up from total isolation, at least!

Is anyone depressed but cant really clarify why they are?
I feel like this is one of the examples where maybe it's a chemical imbalance, especially if it's been a lifelong low mood kind of thing.

But it could also mean that maybe you're just not feeling like you're pursuing your true passion. Do you have a hobby you can lose yourself into that just totally engages your mind? I feel like everyone needs one of those, be it books, movies, games, art, sports, etc. It helps battle the existential angst that creeps up.
 

Surface of Me

I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Feeling really depressed lately. I don't really enjoy doing anything at this point, video games and TV are boring as hell, I usually spend my free hours listening to music and F5ing forums now. Sometimes I go out for a walk. I saw Seven Psychopaths Friday and went to a really fun concert on Saturday, both were great and I'm glad I did stuff with my weekend. Something just feels empty though when I come back to my house after these things or work or school though, it's like a feeling of hopelessness drowns me every time I open the front door. I really can't wait to move out. I told my dad I want to major in Radio/TV/Film, and he couldn't be less supportive than he is currently being. He just tells me to get a major where I can make a lot of money, he suggested business. He has always cared about money first, everything else second. Today I came home to a piece of paper detailing the unemployment rate for Film majors on my bed. Thanks.

On the bright side of things, despite me stressing over school every time I go to class, I remember I'm currently making 4 As and 1 B in my classes.
 

RionaaM

Unconfirmed Member
I think that's the majority of depressed people, actually. You look and objectively see that your life isn't terrible, your childhood was fine, but you still feel hopeless and depressed all the time. I think there are way more people like that than depression caused by specific events.
Yes, and the fact that you don't have a real reason to feel that way actually makes you feel worse.

It didn't help that tonight I tried playing some songs on the bass (which I suck at) and somehow managed to be even worse than other times. And I realised I'm spending much more time reading about and playing video games than I did last year. It doesn't help that my friends are busy with university, work or girlfriends, so my only option is to stay at home (during the week I'm working too, and then I don't have time or motivation to do anything).
 

DjRoomba

Banned
As someone who went to a psychology class once I'll offer my somewhat expert opinion. Exercise helps alot more than some believe it does. If you feel depressed or anxious go to gym daily. If youre a weakling it might take a while, but force/push yourself and you will definately feel better. I cant stress this enough. I think another huge help is getting laid. Like really, depression is usually caused by some kind of shitty life situation. Get some pussy or work to improve your life is the best course of action. Or maybe you just need to have a little drink or smoke some weed more.
 
As someone who went to a psychology class once I'll offer my somewhat expert opinion. Exercise helps alot more than some believe it does. If you feel depressed or anxious go to gym daily. If youre a weakling it might take a while, but force/push yourself and you will definately feel better. I cant stress this enough. I think another huge help is getting laid. Like really, depression is usually caused by some kind of shitty life situation. Get some pussy or work to improve your life is the best course of action. Or maybe you just need to have a little drink or smoke some weed more. If youre like a real fuckin mess possibly you may be a lost cause, but you better hope thats not you

This kind of ignorant post isn't looked too kindly here.
 
As someone who went to a psychology class once I'll offer my somewhat expert opinion. Exercise helps alot more than some believe it does. If you feel depressed or anxious go to gym daily. If youre a weakling it might take a while, but force/push yourself and you will definately feel better. I cant stress this enough. I think another huge help is getting laid. Like really, depression is usually caused by some kind of shitty life situation. Get some pussy or work to improve your life is the best course of action. Or maybe you just need to have a little drink or smoke some weed more. If youre like a real fuckin mess possibly you may be a lost cause, but you better hope thats not you

Yeah, I can see you're an expert.
 
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